Morning everyone. Kiera, I'm glad the blahs' have lifted a little bit. They are so nasty. Every once in a while they smack you down just to show that there's no such thing of mind over matter. Our brains will do what they want, when they want. When my blahs hit, I always try to figure out what the trigger is and I never can. Some things just can't be explained. BTW, on Monday I had the blahs (not severe, just there) and I sat in front of my blue light for an extra session. Seemed to help a little.

SweetPea, why do you want to move? I have to say I'm "hearing" reluctance in the whole process. Maybe you need to reassess if you really want to do it. Sorry you had a bad day yesterday.

Marcie, how is it going today? I hope you've had some nice weather the last couple of days like we're having in Oregon. It sure has helped with my motivation (except in eating whcih I'm finding is getting more out of control rather than in control).

So there's the problem. Eating. I love eating. I hate the effect of eating. Seems the more I exercise, the more I eat. That makes me mad. I guess if that's my only worry at the moment, I'm damn lucky. But if I don't watch it, I will be at the store buying bigger jeans. They're aren't overly comfy anymore. So here's my mini goal - I have Fri - Monday off. For FOUR days I am going to be good. I'd start today but I was bad and bought a slice of German Choc. Cake to go with my soup (very healthy tomato and basil bisque but bad cake). And I'm going to eat it. But I think I will make up for it by taking my doggies for a 2 miler this afternoon. That should about let me break even. Of course I could be good and give the cake away. HA!!!! like that would ever happen. I did exercise this am, so I'm feeling good and I had the Starbucks (didn't finish it and threw 1/3 of it away - yeah me) so
I'm pumped on caffeine. I love caffeine.

Got to go read my email. I'll be back.
Marie

News Flash!!!
 

I just had lunch and I gave half my piece of cake to my co-worker!!! I did it, I didn't overeat. YEAH!!!

damn why don't i work with you that cake sounded divine;)

not reluctance to move just fear
- fear of making the wrong decision
- fear of still being unhappy (my capacity for misery being HUGE)
- fear of not finding a place i like
- fear i borrow up to my maximum and circumstances change and i can't afford it

newsflash! a lady coming back in 30 mins to look at the house with her hubby
better get some clothes on and untangle my hair

Hi everyone,
hope you all had a super Easter,
we went away to SC to see the inlaws..had a good time,
now i'm back, and my anxiety is back too..
didn't bother me while i was away...

my stomach isn't feeling so good today either.

my mom has diabetes and can't get on track,
she had lost 60lbs while back with southbeach,
and was doing good, but that was like 6-9 months ago,
i'm worried about her..
gosh i want to help her so badly...

i'm gonna try to start cooking some food for her,
she loves my stir frys....and in exchange she will
come over and do a little cleaning..

i feel really crappy right now..
Everything felt fresher when we were away..
now its same old...
messes, no one taking care of me, and me doing everything..
.
fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Bless you all

Well, I've realized what is going on with me. This past week has been so bad. I went in for an emergency session with my therapist today, I have been crying like crazy, feeling like there is no hope. Today I realized it is because my husband is coming home next month. I ahdn't really let myself think about it, but when it comes down to it, I don't want him to come back. I don't want to go back to being the loser of the relationship. When he is here, all I can think about are my faults. I have no voice. He is always better than me. We are at opposite ends of the spectrum. I will be compelled to clean and cook more, and do things the way he likes them. And I don't think I can survive that stress. I'm barely making it as it is.

My therapist helped me focus on the good in me, and that helped. But I don't know what will happen when he gets home. The therapist feels something really has to change. If things go on as they were before my husband left, I'm going to be sucked under. He will either have to agree to marriage counseling, or we will not make it.

This is going to be a hard month, the waiting. I don't quite know how to handle this.

Anyway, my brain is really tired, and kinda foggy. I want to go to bed. I'll talk to you all later.

Hi sweet pea, and everyone, i can't sleep,

so they banned your avatar huh?
too sexy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought it was scary, if it is the same
one you had with the lady in the black dress..
anyways..
hope the lady coming back for the house went well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haven't been eating good, don't want to get on the scale, guess i'll give it a few more days of that time of the month, then when i'm clean and fresh, i'll hop on....

I'm tempted to try WW again, i had some luck with that before, in like 9 weeks i lost 19 lbs, and it wasn't to depriving i mean you can eat anything, in moderation on the diet, it was just a pain in the booty, having to keep track, and i'd kinda have to figure out my meals the day before, and you definitely had to be creative, to get the most/best food, for lowest points.

Pizza drives me crazy, i want it every week, we like to have it on Friday nights, and rent a movie, well with WW, i could have an entire 1/2 of a large Papa Johns pizza and that would use up all my xtra points for the week, and then if i want ice cream, which is my other love, i could have WW pops, or TCBY-which i adore, and chocolate, i looooooooove chocolate, a nestle crunch bar, a regular size is only 3pts...
and like mcdonalds chicken nuggets are 1 pt each,
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,
Just makes it hard,
i was single before,
now i'm married,
I reallllllllllllllllllllly don't want to cook two seperate meals ya know?

My husband is overweight he weighs like 320 i guess, been awhile since he weighed himself, i swear his shirts are getting tighter, maybe i need to get all my books out again, for WW, not like i know where they are,
and talk to him about it...

aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
wouldn't it be so great to be one of those people who are like addicted to exercise, *Sighs*

still need to exercise, which i don't, totally need to join a gym, i don't work, my mom can watch Olivia while i work out.
My car will be paid off like next month, that will help...


God Bless
guess i better try to snooze

i do enjoy reading your posts Jenny they are very lyrical and insightful, i feel i am right inside your life with you. they are like poetry LOL

marcie i am so glad you took a session with your therapist. it did sound like you needed someone to bounce stuff off. jenny i hope you can sleep. it's a challenge i know

lady and her hubby like hte house and are talking about putting in an offer so fingers crossed

i had EFT today and still feel pretty exhuasted. off for a walk now and to get something to eat. hmmm fish n chips sound good i think

Good evening everyone,
Marcie I'm glad you got in and got some help. Hopefully you can work everything out with your husband, one way or another.

Good luck sweetpea with the buyers!

marie, good for you for not over eating. That was super.

Campbell hope you feel better and can get some sleep.

Well today was way better than yesterday. Got a few things done. Hubby phoned and he got his truck back out of the shop and has a couple of jobs to get to, but at least he should be home Sat night. I was really good with my eating today, even though I really need to hit the grocery store, all my "easy" foods are gone and I had to do some thinking. (we are down to our last egg and thats my fall back protein and I ate the last of my cottage cheese today)
Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday, this has been a long week.

Have to go and get the dishes done before bed,
Take care all,
K

hi there
went out for drinks tonight. i just had orange juice and then we had a pub meal and desserts. very nice hot chocolate!

Keira you sound much more positive - that's good!

Marie good luck with your 4 day healthy eating

Marcie & Jenny hope you feel good soon

Morning everyone. Sounds like everyone was busy posting last night. Me??? I did my bills and paperwork. Yucky chore, but it's done. DH had to go to work the morning so he's got the bills we can't pay online and will mail them so I don't have to go anywhere today.

SweetPea, upload a new avatar - please!!!! The error picture is driving me nuts. Pretty please. And I agree with Jenny, I thought the drawing was a scary looking woman, not sexy.

Kiera, great news that DH truck is fixed. Tomorrow night will be nice for you. Have fun at the store - I went after work last night and wanted to run people over. Why do people move so slow with their carts or stand side by side chatting and blocking an aisle. I was a little pissy by the time I left. And some old bat pushed in front of my to check out. Yes, I did call her an old bat and glared at her till she left. Definitely pissy. :) But I passed a few cars on the way home and that felt much better leaving them in my dust.

Marcie, I'm glad you talked to your therapist. Do you think your hubby will go to counseling with you? I hope he will. Till he comes home, try to enjoy the time you have before he returns.

Jenny, sounds like you had fun in SC. I bet it's pretty this time of year. I just love spring.

I don't have big plans today. Listen to an audio book and maybe draw or knit or play with stained glass. Anythig but eat all day. I'm going to be good this long weekend. I do need to exercise still since I did do it when I first woke up. I htought I'd sit in front of my golite first. I love the little bugger.

Marie

Sweet pea, what is EFT?

Hey everyone! Wow, have I been busy this week. It's been crazy, but I feel great. I'm just glad it's Friday, though!! I felt really good yesterday because even after dancing all morning for show choir practice, I still went to the gym and did 10 minutes on the stair stepper, 45 minutes of weight lifting, and 30 minutes on the treadmill!! Whooo!!! That made me really happy.

I hope everyone's had a good week. <3

EFT... Emotional Freedom Techniques

EFT is a new discovery that has provided thousands with relief from pain, diseases and emotional issues. Simply stated, it is a unique version of acupuncture except you don't use needles. Instead, you stimulate well established energy meridian points on your body by tapping them with your fingertips.

So how does it work? Well, simply put no one knows for sure. However there are a few theories. It uses the end points of the 12 major meridian channels and the 2 governing vessels found in Chinese medicine. It has been observed that by tapping on these points while focusing on the problem, a release takes place clearing the physical or emotional pain being worked on. This has lead to the principal that:

The Cause Of ALL Negative Emotions Is A
Disruption In The Body’s Energy System

It seems that while experiencing or focusing on a specific problem, and tapping on the meridians that carry the energy, disruptions are cleared and normal function can resume.

By clearing the disruption in the body's energy system EFT returns health to the client.