Morning everyone. I hope you're all doing good. Marcie, I hope you enjoyed your mini-rest form your kids. Alone time is some of my very favorite times. I think that comes from being an introvert. Being able to use the blue light for free is great. Just make sure that you use in in the morning so that it doesn't throw off you sleep patterns.

SweetPea, I'd guess that your dr. has it wrong about a sinus infection. If you were on antibiotics for 2 weeks and had no relief, I'd guess that it is something else. I finally figured out that my ongoing headache for the past 3 weeks (dull, just bothersome, not painful) was because of two things. Pulling my hair up and having the weight of the hair pulling on the roots and that it's my strongest allergy season. I can't do much about the allergies since I'm medicated for them already but I can just wear my hair down. That did help. Thrusday and Friday I didn't have a headache either day. It was nice.

I just walked 3 miles and didn't want to do it. I think a perfect life would be not to exercise (play and be active but just not formal exercise) and eating without gaining weight. Ahh, that would be divine. Since that's not my fate, I forced myself to exercise.

DH and DS had a good time yesterday on the mountain. No broken bones, but DS did run into DH and broke his ski pole. I'm still trying to picture that but am sort of happy I can't. I listened to a book on my ipod and did very little knitting stuff. I still haven't finished the #(%*(#*% sweater. I just am having a terrible time forcing myself to do it. I did sew the side seams this morning and all I have left is to sew the facings on, the hood on and sew the buttons on. I'm hoping if I just wander to my craft room and do one task then leave for a while, that it will get down.

Writing - I do know what you mean, SweetPea about having to foce yourself. I used to write with excitement and produced 14 manuscripts (never tried to publish and I don't want to - a long story). But I loved it and it was one of the biggest pars of my life. Then I went on meds. They totally dulled my senses and I just couldn't write anymore. Since being off the meds, I still haven't wanted to write but I do think about starting up again. Funny thing, when I do force myself, I find it is usually very good when I go back and re-read it. Then I sit in astonishment that I produced it and didn't want to do it. Writing is an interesting, amazing process. Good luck, Sweet Pea, getting it done. Deadlines is probably the biggest reason I never submitted to a publisher or agent.

Okay, I'm getting cold. The sweat has dried and it is still cold outside. BTW, the snow is almost melted and tomorrow is supposed to be 60 and sunny and then warmer on Wednesday. YEAH!!!!

Good Morning everyone :wave:

Hope everyone is feeling better.
Marcie I hope you got a little rest while your kids were off visiting. My hubby isn't home much and it is getting easier as the kids get older. And now with my mom in the same town its way easier! Have you ever heard of flylady.net? She's an email support group. She sure has helped change my thinking. My house is still a disaster, but I don't feel as overwhelmed. Good luck with the light, it sure seems to help me.

Well its a beautiful day so far. Our school district gave us a full two week spring break in March, but to do it we had to lose Easter Monday, so kids had to go to school. DD18 and I got our walk in and then did some DDR. I can't belive how such little effort can make a person get so "warm"! Hubby phoned last night and his truck is broken down in the Yukon, so it will be awhile before we see him. (He left last Thurs) Hopefully its a quick fix and he can get back in a couple of days. DD14 had a mini judo tournament in her club, she had to go against two big boys (one is 40 pounds heavier than her) It was harder this time as they now have more techniques to go with their weight. She did manage to win a gold tho. She has one last big tournament coming this weekend in town, then its just working on her belt. Other than that its been a very quiet weekend. The girls rented a video game and kept very busy with that for most of the weekend. My cold is getting better, have a bit of a cough which is nothing more than an annoyance. Two of my girls are complaining of sore throats, so it may do the run through the house.
Well I should go and try to tidy up a bit more. With the sun out I feel a little more energetic than I have been, so I want to use that to my advantage. Plus I think I better get something in the crockpot for dinner as I have a feeling I'll petter out before then as I only got three hours of sleep last night!

Take care everyone and have a wonderful day,
K

Hi Marie,
Looks like we were posting at the same time.
Have a great day and good job on the exercise. Glad there were no injuries yesterday.
K

hi all :wave: i have to go shower and get into town. will come back soon...

Hey everyone! Thanks for the compliments on the picture :)

Marie - If you want that "perfect life", move to Japan!! When I was there I went from 180 to 160 without trying. I ate whatever I wanted and I got a lot of natural exercise from having to ride my bike 20 minutes every day to get to school or from walking everywhere else. It was wonderful, and I can't wait to live there again. The food is not only delicious but it's very healthy! I ate huge bowls of white rice, lots of vegetables and noodles, lots of fish, and even ice cream and the pounds just melted off over the nine months I was there. When I came back home I had to buy all new clothes because the clothes I had left didn't fit!

I hope everyone had a wonderful easter. I've really been enjoying the break from school, but sadly, I have to go back tomorrow :( I've got some homework to finish up so I'll talk to you all later! <3

Well, something has got to give soon. This intense despair has to go. I should be relaxed and restful, my kids aren't coming home till tomorrow morning, but I feel so bad!!! Crying and feeling like I will never be "normal". I was going to the store, saw somw lady planting tulip bulbs, and started crying, because that seems like such a huge thing to do. I really feel like I'm losing it. I hope it's just an episode of bad depression. I can't go on like this much longer. Buddly, I have heard of flylady. But haven't tried it since getting my life organized seems like waaaaaaay to much to handle. But I will check it out when I'm feeling better. Right now I'm trying so hard to just get myself up to go around the house and at least pick up all the trash. I'm so ashamed of what I have let my house become. And when hubby comes home, he is a neat freak, and so expects so much more out of me than I feel I can deliver.

Okay, I gotta go scream or something. Maybe pull out all my hair.

hi everyone

i went into town and checked out the new library. it's at least 2x the size of the old one and very modern and light and airy - very nice. i also did some groceries and other errands and now i'm thinking of a lie down. i didn't sleep much last night. i was up late writing and then didn't get to sleep until about 3am. cat woke me at 6am, then a courier at 730am and so on. i definitely need a catch up. my mood is ok at the moment except for the headache so that's a big plus!!! my dogs are extremely wet. one thing about goldens is that they're big lovers of water so when it rains they race outside and lie in it hoping to get wet. they used to dig holes too so they'd fill up and then when the rain came they'd have their own mud baths. i've been trying to keep them all filled up. ugh winter will not be fun... (marie might say goldens are dumb for sitting out in the rain!)

<3 glad you had a great easter. i am not sure i would want japanese food all the time. i like it occasionally but i'm not really a rice person or even noodles. love veges though so that would be good. trouble is can't always be bothered preparing them!

keira - i ahve been to flylady too. i have a friend who uses her tips all the time and swears by them. i think i need to go back to the site and check out the tips. they are very simple to use

the DDR sounds fun. i know a lot of people use it but i haven't succumbed to buying electronic games. maybe i should? dancing is a real passion for me. well on the days i can get up enough energy to feel passionate :dizzy:

K glad your cold is nearly over but it won't be much fun if you have to nurse all the others!!!

Marie - OMG 14 manuscripts!!! heck don't worry about deadlines. just submit a ms every year and your publisher would love you. do you think you will ever think differently and want to get them published? it's a lot of work. you must have been really motoring. were you manic at all when you wrote? i find writing when i am depressed is extremely hard. to a certain extent you have to force yourself. sometimes i look back on what i wrote and am very pleased with it. other times i wonder where my head was! losing creativity on meds is a common complaint esp from lithium. i suspect you can get it back but it probably needs work. surely the creativity is still there it's accessing it that can be the problem. i think most creativity is innate but there is a certain amount that can be learned so with training maybe you could get it back?

if i had written 14 books i would definitely submit them. i love seeing my name in print... :D

marie is there any exercise you do enjoy?

hi marcie - guess we posted at the same time while i was busy trying to read everything :)

i think you're right, something does have to give so instead of it being your sanity how about asking for some help?

do you think your sister would keep your boys for a little longer or come over and give you a hand picking some stuff up. flylady is actually really achievable. she has these really short methods where you only spend a few minutes on tidying each day. rather than doing everything she says to just pick one thing.

also when are you due to go to your doc? i think you said you started new meds recently but it seems with all the stress and overload in your life that the meds aren't enough to take the edge off... i think if it was me i would demand an immediate appointment. if you tell your doc it is an emergency she might fit you in...

also there is a chat room for depressed and bipolar called mixed nuts. i'll try and find the website. i've used it in the past to talk to other people. a lot of them are in US and Canada so the time zone should work.

it looks like it's changed since i was last there. there is now a message board as well as chat http://www.mixednuts.net/
obviously we'll chat to you too :) but this might just be another avenue and they may have some suggestions for you

i know i said this before but i honestly think you need to reevaluate the homeschooling. it's too much for anyone to do on their own. if you could find a way to get a break from it for an afternoon each week where you could just go do some stuff for yourself or catch up on sleep or whatever it could help a lot... also is there anyone else in the homeschooling group that is more helpful than the cow you spoke to last time?

Thank you, Sweet Pea. I think when hubby gets home, we'll discuss doing something different next year. I feel like such a failure not being able to keep up with everything, but I guess my sanity is more important. I thought being crazy was supposed to be fun??!! My next appt is a week from tomorrow. But my next dosage increase is tomorrow. Maybe that will help. I just went to flylady.net. I think I'm going to like it. Esp. since she sends emails, and you don't have to wade through the site every day. I may even go shine my sink tonight!

I'm going to try out the mixed nuts site.

You made me laught with the cow remark. I needed that. The others I don't know as well. The cow has a son my son's age, so I see her a lot when the boys get together. But there is one who seems nice, and has been wanting to connect with me, as she also has a son around the same age. I think I'll give her a call tomorrow.

You have lifted my spirits a bit, Sweet Pea. I can always count on you for that. Thanks.

you're welcome!! i'm glad you've found some things that could help you. that flylady site is neat. as you say wading thru stuff is hard but getting little email tips is good

i've had some good news. i have been wanting to try E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom Technique) but i couldn't find anyone who did it, but by chance i found out there is a place within walking distance who does it!! they combine it with bach flowers as well and right now anything natural gets a thumbs up from me so i have booked a session on friday. fingers crossed. i have low expectations but i figure it is worth trying. it's been on my mind a lot so i feel like it's my intuition giving me a nudge to take a look

that would be great if you can connect with someone with a son the same age. i know my friend has made masses of friends thru homeschooling. she goes to all the joint camps and swimming lessons and so on. she just recently became the local president so now it's taking over her life!!!

Okay, SweetPea, some of us read this at work. Don't make me laugh out loud. They'll know I'm not working. The COW comment was hilarious. But now my secret of not working is out. :)

Marcie, SweetPea is right on all counts. I'm glad you're seeing your dr. next week. If you're not better by then, especially with a med increase, you need to discuss with him/her a change in med. BTW, what are you taking? I'm sorry that you were so bummed yesterday. And I'm glad SweetPea could make you laugh, even if it gets me fired. (just kidding on the fired part)

SweetPea, many manuscripts and some a good. The first 4 or 5 I'd never submit, they were my learning tools in writing fiction. I don't know about creativity. In a lot of ways, the creativity seems to have been executed by the meds. I was hoping that getting off them would help, but I still haven't been creative, writing wise. Drawing, crafts, etc - definitely. Writing, not so far. BTW, I don't like seeing my name in print - I'm very introverted. I like to just not be noticed. I guess we're not totally twins.

Exercise that I like. I guess that depends on when. When I was thinner - rollerblading and skiing. Now that I'm fat again, walking outside (hiking in the mountains behind my house) is what I consider fun. mostly because it makes my doggies happy, hence I'm happy. But I do love being outdoors. I used to love to swim, fat or not, but then I got my dream - a big ingroung pool. Then I HAD to swim and then I started resenting it. So when we do open the pool back up, I just play in the water. Very few times last summer did I do laps for exercise - laps for fun, definitely, but not for exercise. I did tell DH that I want to go rollerblading a couple times this year. But mostly I like to walk.

Okay, I should work. Really I should.
Marie

Hey yo!! My favorite exercises are lifting weights, riding my bike, and playing DDR. It's a lot of fun. I used to do it a lot when I was younger, so I can do most songs on heavy mode but some of the faster ones are difficult with my asthma. Swimming is fun, too, but I hate being wet afterwards.

morning all
the rain has cleared so i am going outside to read for a bit. i started with warm water and lemon juice (trying to undo the desserts from last night yummmm tartufo)

back later

Just a quick Hello!!
Very quiet in here today.
Very quiet at home here today as well. Feels cold in here. DD18 and I made a stab at cleaning our unfinished addition, its full of junk I'm hoping if we find the floors and walls it may get finished sometime this century! (I would have said decade, but I bet we would run out of time ;) great procrastinators that we are)
Hope everyone is feeling alright and taking some time for themselves.
Take care all,
K

Hey everyone. Today has been so much better. The kids are home, and we are doing well. Wow, that was a really bad one. I felt so bad I considered going to the emergency room. At least I wouldn't be alone, and there would probably be some good drugs there! But I stuck it out, and am back on the upswing. My house, while far from perfect, is nearly clean.

Marie-I started using the light box today. I couldn't use it too long, since it was fairly late when I got it. Tomorrow I'll do it in the AM.

Sweet Pea-I went to the mixed nuts website last night. When I logged on, I was in tears, but I stayed for an hour, and when I finally left, I had been able to laugh. There were about 15 people in the chat room, and while some were looking for advice, there were others who could laugh at their illnesses. And be so open and honest. It was great to have that real time connection with others who understand. I will be going there frequently.

We have a homeschool skate day on Friday, so hopefully several other women will be there, and I won't feel compelled to pass on your opinion of you know who.

So American Idol tonight. Anyone else watch?

Okay, time to do the dishes. Also, the laundry pile is bigger than my head, so I should probably do something about that. Maybe.

I'll check in with you all later.