Today is going to be busy and I am soooo not up for it! I am still feeling like crap. I spent half the night last night coughing and then when I finally did get to sleep, the stupid cat started to meow! I swear he watches me until I go to sleep and then starts with his meowing! I ended up on the couch because I didn't want to keep hubby awake like I had previous nights. My throat was raw last night on top of all of it. I will be happy when I am feeling like my old self again and actually WANT to exercise and drink my water and eat what I should! I'm sure I have some added weight from these last couple of weeks, but I really am not going to be too hard on myself about it! My mind wants to get back on track but my body says "WHOA!"
I would prefer to just sit and wallow in self pity today, but already I have made a batch of brownies (not for us, although DD smelled them and wants me to make some for her, so I think I will just buy her ONE at the gas station where they have an awesome bakery so I won't be tempted with the whole pan sitting there...) for a funeral at our church. Dwayne has a photo session with our pastor and her husband this morning (they are leaving our church...were called to another church) at 10, so he is busy! I am going into work for 2 hours this morning to make up for some hours I missed this week...I really have a ton of filing to get done and next week is already the end of May, so more will be added after next week! It's an endless job--Medical Records! Then one of my coworkers is having a candle party and I promised her I would go, so I really need to do that. Then I will come home and crash...I hope!
I know that I write longs posts and it doesn't matter to me if you all don't read them...I write to help me in my weight loss journey...a check of feelings of sort. I appreciate, though all the feedback you all give me.
I will finish my post later. Hubby needs the computer now.
Why Chickies?!?!? Why?!?!? It never fails that when I vowe to do something positive to help improve my life, The himself comes at me?!?!?
I'ts only 9:18 am, and I'm already in tears. I am trying to not say something I will regret, but I feel it's a lost cause already. I wake up early every morning, take the dog for a walk, feed her and give her water, (if my hubby doesnt do it) and then I put her on the back porch until I get my exercise done. The dog whines somedays, and somedays she doesnt. But I know that she has more food and water out there plus toys until I get through. Why do I get a knock on my door from the upstairs people saying that I need to put my dog inside because they are tired of hearing the noise blah,blah,blah. I promise chickies, i was raised not to disrespect older people, so I just looked at her, shook my head and closed the door. Again....these things come and haunt me...even though it should have been my husband because 1. it's his darn dog. 2. he just so happened to have left maybe 2 minutes before. Ok but heres the thing....All day you hear banging and banging...loudly!!!! They walk around all day, but I swear either one of them is 800 lbs or they stomp their foot around. When I say it is 2 in the morning and you wake up to loud banging and stomping, and they have the nerve to knock on my door and tell my something about a puppy whining?!?!?!?
I dont need to be here pretending to be something I'm not. A stuck-up old rich person who thinks their better than everybody else. I would rather stay in a trailer home with all the other trailer trash, or the ghetto where I would also fit in. Me, I'm trailer trash or I'm ghetto-fied.....I'd rather be anything than be like those people.... I got sooo mad that I'm sitting here tears coming out because I could just punch a hole in the wall....
Why does the devil have it out for me? I'm sure there are other people in the entire world for him to try to destroy.....why me????
This is the 3rd thing that has happend in the past 12 hours since I even made that pledge to myself. And all 3 were things that would get to me...deep inside, no matter how I tried to fight it off. I should be happy, I should be following my goals that I have set up for the day, I should be grateful for even being here. Did prejudice ever leave this earth?? I wonder if it's because we're black? Or maybe because they think we dont have as much money as them? Well we might not have a lot of money at once, but I bet my husband works his butt off harder than any other rich person around here and makes just as much! My husband is only 24 years old and already has his own crew of people that works for him. He never, never misses a day of work, except for that one time when I passed out. DUH?! How dare we be judged because we don't drive a fancy Mercedes like them!!! So what we've had enough cars to add up to how much a mercedes cost!!
I'm soo sorry you chickies. I guess I failed today. I'm sorry you have to hear this again.....and again....and again how unhappy I am. But I'm not unhappy, and I've learned something. My husband will pay more rent and live in a rich neighborhood so that he can assure his family is safe, but I should have just been happy if we had to live in a shack. I regret ever complaining about such things, I regret ever feeling that a trailer was beneath me, at least I didnt have to deal with these things, and at least there was a yard for my kids and the dogs to run and play, and at least I was accepted there.
Ok, I'm going to regroup, pray and get myself together. My husband is trying to do everything in his power to get us a car by next week, and I dont want to give him one more problem to add to all the others that I neglected to see. I just guess this is one more lesson learned.
Well I'm ready for my kick in the butt now..... Bring it on!!!
Morn'n Ladies!
A beautiful Saturday morning here in Middle Tennessee! Miss Whoppie and I just can't get our butts out of bed to get that early walk in. Hubby was golfing this morning so I didn't even start the walk until 7! luckily it was a little hazy so the sun didn't get too hot. Not much on the agenda today, I need to do a dump run, get a few things at the store and finish up the laundry. We leave for the airport tomorrow at about 10:30, going early because of construction on the interstate. The weather in Portland is supposed to be low 70's and rainy, as usual!
Hikein2005 - I hope you feel better soon. I tend to let things slide a little when I don't feel well too. It is hard enough getting through the day without having to agonize over what you can eat and exercising. You take care and jump back on plan when you are feeling better.
Lucy you have some 'splain'n to do! there is nothing worse than the day after the night before! seriously it doesn't sound like you over trained too badly and you had fun with your friends!
Janie - you have a great time in Mexico, I am soooooo jealous! I really hate how they size everything you would think they could manage a universal system for sizing wouldn't you?! oh well you just cross out whatever numbers you don't like and change it to the correct one!
Jaymi - what beautiful children! you are truly blessed. I love the idea of the "no crap challenge" but with the traveling I will be doing for the next two weeks I would be setting myself up to fail. I look for it again in the second week of June ok?
Jennifer - is there a closing date set yet? I am thinking happy thoughts for you!!!
That' it ladies, I will be out of the loop for a few days, don't miss me too much!
Jaymi - could your kids be ANY cuter?! Seriously. *hug* Check your main journal for my response to the last post, too, btw.
Lakester - Well, I've -been- doing 2 hrs of ellipitical every day since Monday, aside from yesterday, so I think I'm okay with a break. Seriously, though... man was I tired yesterday!!
I got some good books, and I really don't feel like updating now, but I'm doing it anyway... I'm tired.
Slept in today. Woo! Our crazy alcoholic neighbors downstairs who scream and fight ARE MOVING OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *does a happy dance* WOOO!! Could today be any better?!
Anyway, other than that... Yep. I'm gonna go take my shower and stuff. I'll update later.
Well everyone, I lost my kool for a minute.....but I'm ok now. It's just that my olde fuse is soooo short. I've come a long way, I've calmed down a lot. Who knows what I would have said a couple of years ago...or what I would have done. So I feel like I acted in a christian like manner and it is ok to fuss and get angry later. If that was a test, then I should have passed.
Hikein- Now why would you think we wouldnt read your posts?!?!? Always, no matter what you gripe about...I mean come on...who gripes more than me? And hey, I think my posts are quite long also, and you take time to read mine!!! Well, you were practically reading my mind...as usual. I had wrote the little sub goals but as you know that darned computer cut off so I just wrote the main ones. I've already learned that talking to my hubby wont work. My thing was that was to ask him what things I could do to be a better wife. But somehow that turned into an arguement and me getting mad, and saying forget it. I love my husband, but he honestly doesnt understand me, or my life, or the importance of what I do on a daily basis. He pretty much takes it for granted. Plus when I tell him things, he takes it all the wrong ways and turns it into a fight! GRR, he just doesnt connect with me in that way. So instead of just getting mad about it, I'm just going to let that go for now. I can't do it all by myself. As far as my kids, since my son is old enough, I will ask him what kind of things he would like to do and try to have a kidde time when we sit down and watch a movie or do something together. Me, I added prayer, I just want to fit it back into my day. (I want to try the hardest I can, with everything. I hate being meteoker however u spell it!!) Of couse exercise and food will be included. I've already started making an effort to let everyone in my family, and my hubby's family know that I care about them even if they hate me or if they could care less. I even got some mothers day cards and pictures back this year, so I would say thats a start.
I hope you feel better though, it breaks my heart to hear you sad...I'll add you in my prayers.
Lakester- that's kool! I'm going out of town also, but I figure if I dont set me some kind of limits or goals...I'll blow everything. You still dont have to make it a big time NCC. you can say litte crap challenge As in you will try to eat right or you will try to exercise...June is fine though!! Thats just a suggestion for your personal use for your trip.
Janie- your comments on my journal made me crack up!!! That was too funny! The first time I heard you be mean!! It'll take me a while to explain how to post a pic, specially since most of the times I would post I didnt know you could post with smilys and stuff at first, I thought all you could do was a quick reply!! So let me figure out how to splain first!!
Lucy-(((hugs))) You are such a sweetheart! You know exactly what to say to make me feel better....thanks!! I wish my neighbors were moving...could help to hope!!! By the way, Still have a hangover?!?!?
Jenn- Hey, since you got all the goods, you've been neglecting us!!! What's up with that Chickie!!! Nah, I'm just kidding, I hope you are having the time of your life just being happy after being nervous and anxious for sooo long!
Well everyone the baby and the hubby are knocked out on the couch, and the dog is knocked out somewhere in the house...I better not find one drop of poop in here either!!! Well I guess I'll shower and pretend like I'm going to go to sleep until I really do! I wanna wake up early to get my schedule going again. Didnt do too good, Jariel usually takes her nap around 11:30 or 12:00 every single day, today she decides she wasnt going to sleep, she finally fell asleep around 2 so that threw me off big time. I almost didnt get on the treadmill, but I did. My hubby was trying to get me to go riding with him. blah, blah, but I knew that If I were to say I'd do it when we got home, it wouldnt have happened, so today I put myself first and told him after I get done. Then he pouted saying I dont wanna go anymore...Like I cared!! Well really chickies, I'm outta here!!!! Until Tommorrow
For some reason my post are not always going on here?? Who knows. Yesterday it was here & today its gone. Don't remember what I said so I guess it wasn't too important. Had a good day yesterday. We worked on the pool house & I cleaned up the house some.Hubby cooked us steak for supper & baked potatos while I watered the new trees. Then I was reading some of our new fitness books & fell asleep by 930. NOw I"m up at the crack of dawn.
Jaymi seems like your day had gotten a little better. Glad u put U first!
Lameducky glad to here those neighbors are moving u sound excited! My parents are my neighbors! So I hope they never move.
Lakester hope u have fun on your trip! & I will too promise!
I have no plans for today I have already done my bodyflex bar. Whoever says they don't work are plain crazy!!! But no meal plans no exercise nothing! I may lay around & be a lazy Sunday or I may go to a trade day who knows. We don't have church today b/c Of decorations & I proabbly won't go to that! Kisses everyone have a great Sunday!
Writing off Saturday as a lost day, and doing damage control
Heya chickies! Yesterday, hubby & I spent the entire day up in Loxahatchee. We had to meet with the builder & go through all the basic structural things..who knew what would be considered "extras"???
I'm attaching pictures of the house & the floorplan so you can check it out...I have to print a million copies of this out & hand it everywhere. Basically, the last thing I am buying before I put every penny into the bank is my cross stitch fabric for 2 or 3 projects, which will be my mindless entertainment while we wait for the house to be built.
From Thursday afternoon when we found out, through yesterday, it's been a whirlwind of nerves, stress, and activity. After we planned out the basics, and signed our life away, well, after 3 days of being totally nauseous, we decided to celebrate last night. Got more of that awesome Chinese food, and I over-indulged with Bailey's irish cream. Today, I feel like crap, and I'm hung over. This is why I don't drink....Ugh!
Anyhow, no turning back....today is a wasted day, for the most part, because I'm nursing this headache & I feel so dehydrated....ugh! Tomorrow, I get my tushie in gear & do what I need to do for the rest of the month. And then June is just around the corner.
Well I'm here home alone again as usual, Hubby is out fishing so I'm here with the kids. My daugher is playing that I dont wanna sleep role again, but I'm not hearing it. If she doesnt go to sleep, I cant get on my treadmill, and the later it gets the harder it is for me to fit it in. I have loads of other stuff to do. I've barely ate breakfast, did my denise austin for 60 minutes and walked the pup for 20 minutes. I've watched Dora 3 times already, so that's it for me. Today was supposed to be a family day, but I guess it was only important to me. HMM I wonder what made that man call Derrick at 7:30 in the morn? Satan himself probably Only because he knew that would have the tears rolling. He of course asked, and I said yes. But that's not the point. Scr*w it anyway, i dont care what the devil throws my way, he can send 1000 arrogant, prejudiced neighbors over here ranting and raving, I'll treat them like I treated the other one, No emotion, no violence I dont care how many times and how many days I start off in tears, if the devil is fighting me that hard, then I must be doing the right things. Nothing is gonna stop me from my goals, I will have to fall out and die first. I'm not going to let anyone else determine my future. I'm going to be a better mom and I'm going to be a better person. If I may not be happy on the outside, God will see and hear how hard I'm trying, and he will have mercy on me. No weapons formed against me shall prosper....All those who rise up against me shall fall.. That's my new saying... I am not going to defeat myself, never ever again. I am a mommy and I'm proud to be one. Not everyone has been blessed in that way, not everyone has the love for their children like I do. They have saved my life, and they will always be my first loves.
Sorry chickies, had to get it all out. I am not complaining, because you know what, that's for whuss's. I'm a soldier, and I'm a fighter. I had forgotten that! I had been fighting all of this time to lose weight, over and over, but I thought I was a loser and a failure. But I refuse to be one ever again. It's not even the point of losing or gaining weight, but it's the fight that is soo important now. Now that I've declared my self a soldier, then I will fight until my dying day to improve my life, my kid's lives, my relationship with God, and my family, and even with my hubby. Nothing, will ever defeat me again.!!!
I am somebody, I am special, I am loved, I was put here for a purpose and I am going to fulfill it.
Well chickies, now that my speech is over lol, I've gotten the baby to sleep so I've got to get ready for battle, that dreadfull treadmill is waiting, and I will conquer it!!!! Anyone wants to join my army to defeat this weight? All you have to do is try your best, and I know you can do it!! Love you all!!!!
Jennifer I am so happy for you! I know how u feel! We built a house & have been in it a year & it is so wonderful! We still have a lot of work for everything to be like I want it. YOur house is going to be beautiful!! I know your so excited! Are yall doing any of the work? Or are u hiring it done? We did about90% of ours & it was WORK!!!! Made us fat too b/c McD's was our savior at that time!
Jaymi u sound so positive & happy today! I'm so proud to hear that!
I went shopping again today & got 2 pairs of shoes & 1 bra for the trip. Got Jeff a few things too. Got to run get the boys from ball pratice>
For some reason my post are not always going on here?? Who knows. Yesterday it was here & today its gone. Don't remember what I said so I guess it wasn't too important.
Janie...your posts are ALWAYS important! There are 11 pages on this thread. If you go to the top or the bottom of the page, you can click on the previous page and see your post! LOL! Hope you are having a good day! It's raining here, again... or should I say "still"???!!
I just typed a nice post to all of you and lost the whole thing! Darn it! I am feeling much better today! I still didn't sleep well last night...coughing! And no exercise today either...that's 4 days with NO EXERCISE, but here's my NO CRAP CHALLENGE goals and you all can hold me accountable. I will post each night with the results of my day! Hold off on the tazer until morning though because some nights it may be kind of late!
Here's my goals:
1. NO excuses about exercise! I WILL do some sort of aerobic exercise for at least 30 minutes each day for the next 7 days starting Monday morning!
2. NO crap food! I will follow my food plan without veering 100% for the next 7 days starting Monday morning!
3. Total honesty! I will journal here daily with results of my no crap goals!
Sounds pretty simple, doesn't it? Now, I am going to stick with it and get a couple of pounds off int he last week of this challenge! Darn it!
Now I will try to post this again, but will save it this time!
Hugs to all you wonderful chickies! You are the best!
Jennifer...your house is awesome! I just love it! No wonder you have been in 7th heaven and stress land! Yikes! I can see why you will have to forfeit your cross stitch money! LOL! Hope the hangover is gone and you can start back up exercising tomorrow!!!
Jaymi---you sound great, chickie! You are doing the right thing...what you need to do! You go girl with that bad, bad exercise (could ya do some for me???)
Janie...Trees...we planted a couple blue spruce this weekend, too! Steak sounds good!
Hope the rest of ya are having a good weekend. I am tired of the rain here! Maybe some sunshine tomorrow! Flood warnings and watches for the last week here with "mudslides" (in MICHIGAN???) too! It's crazy! There's just this front that keeps holding on and causes rain, cold, sun, heat, cold, rain...etc.
Hikein, at least it's not only me that loses posts all the time, I've started copying the posts as I go so that I dont lose it all, or at least I try to remember to!
Hi everyone, I've got more great news for ya chickies, but first I'll do a little commenting!
Janie- remember your message on my journal? I was writing the journal first, so the post on here was better!! I dont get it, I am soo unhappy during the day, but at night I feel better..hmmm. You are right about hubbys his lost not mine. I tried this tactic today, since he want to act like a kid, I'll treat him like one, I told him about family day and that once a week is what I expect for the whole family to spend time together. (dont even care about "us" time) Thinking about what you said earlier...sex? what is that?!? Yuck!! I wont get into details but let me tell ya yuck is a upgrade. Before it was worse. The pill took all of what I had, now that I'm off, it came back for a little while, but with all this stuff I have to do, I'm too tired. Anyway, back to the hubby, I told him that if he plays with the kids more and spend more time with them on a daily basis, then he will get to go more places. We'll see how that goes!! Hey, at least you fit into a bikini!!! I dont think they make them in my size!!! LOL Glad you had a relaxing day!
Hikein- Hurry up and feel better already!!! What's going on around here? Is everyone sick, maybe the message boards are contagious!! Like them goals chickie...go get em'!! As soon as you feel 100% you should get your goals going. Dont start too early, but you can do it!! No, you go girl!!
Ok, first good news, I have reached my goal for the Memorial day challenge which was to lose ten lbs!! I have added a goal of 3 more lbs just for the heck of it....shouldnt be too hard?!? But either way, in 3 more lbs, I'll only be 10 lbs away from my goal weight. Then I can set my goal weight that is supposed to be like 125 but I think 135 would be more feasable. Anyways wish me luck chickies!!!
Well I got some good news, so I hope it will motivate you. All together I have lost 27 lbs, now obviously my husband can see the difference, but still he says nothing. Today he decided to take us bowling, I had to find something to wear... I didnt have anything except my favorite jeans... They are a 15/16. They are so baggy they didnt even look all that good. Also, I couldnt figure out what the heck was wrong with my bras, but duh I figured that they were too big!! YAY! But now, I have to get my hubby to search out all of my too small clothes and see which ones I can where...anyway I always wear big clothes, and sweats. But you can see that the sweats are hanging all saggy. So I know he noticed today how much I've lost. I started to just let him know, but why bother?!?! I dont need his support or his approval. I can do it all by myself!
Morning chickies. BOy did I have a sucky night! I had burned myself so bad laying by the pool that everytime I turned it hurt! My husband says I'm mentally Retartded! B/c I did the same thing 2 weeks ago! I think he may be right. You would think I could learn from my mistakes. Besides that I feel really good! Fixing to take the boys to basketball pratice & go to the grocery store. Yuck
Jaymi I'm so glad u talked to your hubby maybe that will help. & he took u all bowling so that was good & even better all your clothes were too big!
On the sex thing I think its your age. When I was that age I HATED IT! I heard that when u hit 30 things start changing & boy did I hear right. But after a while u settle down again & I don't hate it now but don't have to have it to survive. So u will go thru lots of emotions & changes about that thru the years. Just remember thats the best way to get a man to do what u want him to do! (we are married now so its ok)
Hikein Ok time to get better girl! U have been sick a while. Get u a multi vitamin! I love your NC goals & want to do it too. SO I will try to hang in there with you!
Jennifer I know u are ready to start keep us updated.
If I can ever figure out how to post pictures on here I will put some of my house. ITs my pride & joy since we did it ourselves. I'm really VERY proud of it & think it beautiful! Got to go to BB pratice now love to all u chickies!
Janie, do you see where it says post reply? Not sure if you do post reply or quick reply!! LOL Anyway, when you do the regular one, scroll down until you see Additional options, you will see a button that says manage attachments. When you click on that you will see the browse option where you can go to where your pictures are. When you find it, press upload and it should attach. But I must warn you, if your picture is too big then you will have to go to paint and edit it to make it smaller...and that's when it gets more complicated!! Hope I described it ok....I'm not the teacher...YOU ARE!! Oh by the way, why do you have a devil by your name?? So are soooo not mean, even though you try, you are such a sweetie!!! Your name should be like this...
" Janie "
Mine should be like my posts!!! and on and on!!!!
OH well, just also wanted everyone today to know that I didnt cry or get angry this morning!!! If anything tries to happen now.... I will !!!!!! Uh ooh Dora is on, time to try to get some work done!!! Talk with you all later!!! Jay
Saturday AM
himself comes at me?!?!?
day you hear banging and banging...loudly!!!! They walk around all day, but I swear either one of them is 800 lbs or they stomp their foot around. When I say it is 2 in the morning and you wake up to loud banging and stomping, and they have the nerve to knock on my door and tell my something about a puppy whining?!?!?!? 
there is nothing worse than the day after the night before! seriously it doesn't sound like you over trained too badly and you had fun with your friends!
*hug* Check your main journal for my response to the last post, too, btw. 
or should I say "still"???!!
Just lost my Post!
I just typed a nice post to all of you and lost the whole thing! Darn it! I am feeling much better today! I still didn't sleep well last night...coughing! And no exercise today either...that's 4 days with NO EXERCISE, but here's my NO CRAP CHALLENGE goals and you all can hold me accountable. I will post each night with the results of my day! Hold off on the tazer until morning though 
because some nights it may be kind of late!
I have added a goal of 3 more lbs just for the heck of it....shouldnt be too hard?!? But either way, in 3 more lbs, I'll only be 10 lbs away from my goal weight. Then I can set my goal weight that is supposed to be like 125 but I think 135 would be more feasable. Anyways wish me luck chickies!!! 
Well I got some good news, so I hope it will motivate you. All together I have lost 27 lbs, now obviously my husband can see the difference, but still he says nothing. Today he decided to take us bowling, I had to find something to wear... I didnt have anything except my favorite jeans... They are a 15/16. They are so baggy they didnt even look all that good. Also, I couldnt figure out what the heck was wrong with my bras, but duh I figured that they were too big!! YAY! But now, I have to get my hubby to search out all of my too small clothes and see which ones I can where...anyway I always wear big clothes, and sweats. But you can see that the sweats are hanging all saggy. So I know he noticed today how much I've lost. I started to just let him know, but why bother?!?! I dont need his support or his approval. I can do it all by myself! 
"
and on and on!!!!
