Beginning Day 5. I still want those donuts, but I just got on the scale and I'm down 3.6 pounds from being on-plan the past 4 days. That's insane. Clearly I've been carrying around a good amount of water weight. I really hope it continues to go down. I know it won't keep this pace, but downward movement in general is all I need to stay motivated.

Thank you K9!

The office didn't forget my birthday and asked me what kind of cake I wanted. I said - you know I'm a little fooded out, can we maybe do it later in the week? And no one caused a scene. So glad! Hopefully they forget about later:)

Oh good, ncuneo!!!! At least you don't have to worry about that today then!!! Hope you are enjoying your day!!!!!!

:balloons:

Krampus--Sorry to hear about your father. That was sad to read. Does any childhood memories about your father cause you to binge? Maybe it was from some sort of learned behavior. I hope that you can make it through this week binge free. I have a hard time making it past 10 days without overeating/binging...let's both keep each other on track! Glad you are losing the weight though, and that you are running!

Jramos--Welcome here! You and your husband should help each other, you practically read each other's minds. Maybe you make the first step and instead of being silent, say something, like honey, please tell me to stop if you think I'm going overboard with eating. Like after dinners you can help each other and encourage in a positive way to stop eating after certain hours, or help each other order good foods at restaurants. It's not a race/competition, so just help each other out. What type of affirmations do you read? I would like to try doing something like that!

SpringGirl19--10 days is also a time when I start to cave and feel week. Hmmm...when it gets to 10 days again, I'll keep that in mind.

NicoleB37--Welcome here!
---this is EXACTLY what happened to me on Monday. I don't understand it, other than feeling like "this will be the binges to end all binges"...no logic whatsoever. Let us know when you get back to your low weight again, and keep posting so we'll get through this and not binge at our low weight again!

DesiresDestiny--Yeah, that's my problem too, I binge or overeat or cheat at a low weight. I will be super conscious of this problem next time.

Paris--Wow! You are doing so well! Thanks for keeping us motivated with your high numbers!

happytobeamomof2--Welcome here! You did awesome not eating too much of the pie you made. I would have eaten way too much of it if there was leftovers. Good luck with your running goal!

Scoot--You said something that I found to work well for me late at night: "Well, the day is almost over, no use ruining it now." I try to stop eating after 9pm, and then think about all the great things I did that day for myself, like the good food choices I made and the cals that I had and staying at or near my calorie goal, and the good exercise I made. Let's keep think this late at night when the day is almost over! As for your donut dodging...I'm so glad you didn't! I've done something similar in the past, waited in line, then changed my mind and went some place else for something healthier. McDonald's soft serve is a better option, but if you have soft serve frozen yogurt places, they are the best. They have fewer cals per cup. Please stop it with your donut thoughts. It's not worth it. When was it ever worth it? If you can tell me, please do. You are doing so well, down 3.6 lbs, would you want to ruin it with a donut? You see, you are losing weight without eating donuts. One donut may turn into 2 donuts, then more cheats, then binging.

lili8184 --Welcome here! Sounds like your weekend was bad. The holidays and eating out are to blame I would say. Until you can trust yourself enough to make better food choices, I would try to keep triggers like that away. If you must go out though, try each time you are going out to eat to find ways to deal with the bad eating habits. Let more people know about your food choices, your diet, and let them hold you accountable to what you really want to eat...ie) I can't have the cornbread, but I can go and order the grilled chicken salad. Understanding the binges takes some time and some realizations about yourself and habits, your triggers and your way of living. Try to be more proactive and more aware of what's happening around you and inside you emotionally.

FireBirdGirl--You're doing good! Stay strong this week, and keep working hard as you have been at the gym! It will ALL payoff on weigh in this week!

Mayness--Thanks for the hugs! I feel like A LOT of us share the same feelings and thoughts when it comes to binges. So glad this forum exists, and that i can relate to others. The only good things that I can think of which helped me stay on plan on Thurs-Sat last week, are that I would wake up, have a healthy breakfast, drink lots of water that day (8 glasses), and exercise. I was starting to get upset with my roommate and also was upset with my car scratches on the day and the day after when I binged, so those upsets could be blamed for my binging. I just have to learn to deal with my emotions better.

Mamato2boys--Nice job avoiding the nutella jar! Good job so far staying binge free!

JennFett--I'm sure everyone in your home appreciates your hard work at cleaning and making things nice in the house, but if they do not recipricate it back by behaving, keeping orderly or doing chores, they need to be reminded. Have a nice positive talk during dinner with them and let them know how hard you have been working and especially let your husband know how unappreciated you feel and that you would like more words of appreciation or affection from him, because it's making you feel bad. I'm sure he will do these things, it's effortless for him to say "thank you", yet for you, it's so much effort to do the house work.

K9Owner--Goodluck avoiding the temptations at your upcoming events. Maybe go into it being strong in your mind, and only telling yourself that you can just have some tastes, but that's it. No eating, just tasting. Like grazing. Leave food on your plate at the wedding, and let them take it away. Taste the ice cream, but do more socializing, let it melt and get gross so you won't eat it. As for the cookout, bring your own favorite healthy dish, and load your plate with it 2/3 full, and then for the 1/3 fill it with just bits of other people's food. Come up with more strategies to fight eating badly. You can turn this weekend into a bad one, or you can make it a good one.

Ncuneo--Happy Birthday! Don't feel bad if there is cake and they force you to take a slice, just have a bite and throw the rest away, or secretly take the slice and throw the whole slice away when no one is looking. It IS your bday cake, but I understand if you don't want it due to wanting to eat healthy today. There is NO reason in the world someone must eat something unhealthy even if they don't want to. You're doing so good! Keep at it and motivating us all here!

Day 1.

Healthy breakfast, healthy lunch. Now gotta put in the exercise. I'm going to be good today and workout hard.

I am running out of food, and will have to wait until Thursday to buy more, so I guess that's a good thing.

Beila- you'll get back on track, I know you will!

ncuneo- Happy B-Day! I don't blame you for not wanting cake, I get the same way after overeating for a few days. I look forward to getting back to healthy food, i usually can't wait for the next day to come so I can start fresh, I love the healthy food I eat.

Day 7- Can't believe I made it to a week. Having nothing here to binge on is what works for me. I did bake a banana cake today, made it healthier w/ substitutions, it didn't taste as good, had 1 serving. Hubby took it with him to work so it would be out of the house. Later I have to make frosting for it, that's what I am worried about. Once the frosting is on the cake, I might be in trouble. I love to cook & bake, I stopped for a while cause of binging. I don't want to give up something I like to do because I can't control myself. I wish I was a normal person.

FruitLady--Did you hubby take it to work to eat or just to take it away from your house while you are there? I was thinking, wow, what a nice hubby for doing that and helping you out!

For baking substitutes, use mashed bananas or apple sauce for 1/2 of the butter you use. For sugar, use stevia or agave nectar. For flour, try garbanzo bean flour, rice flour or barley flour.

Look up vegan recipes and see what they use in their ingredients. These substitutions will make you not want the food as much. They taste a little different and will make you just want one.

It's the butter, the flour and sugar that makes baked goods irresistable, but if you've ever eaten a vegan cupcake, you'll be just satisfied with one. Trust me they are "good" but not worthy to binge on. Plus they are healthy, so you and your hubby can eat better!

You WILL be normal again, and never binge again. Just take one day at a time. :)

Beila- Thanks, I've been researching substitutions and experimenting for 2 yrs. I use unsweetend applesauce for butter. I cut the baking powder & soda, in half & replace sugar with stevia. Also I like to use plain Fat Free greek yogurt for sour cream. I usually use 100% whole wheat flour, never tried the ones you mentioned, but they sound great! I rather make my own stuff than buy it, who knows what they put in it!

Fruitlady--It's garbanzo fava bean flour by Bob's Red Mill. it's gluten free. You can make cakes with it. It's got a beany flavor, but after you bake it goes away. You have to combine it with other flours, like arrowroot. I saw this last night on DC Cupcakes on TLC channel. The owners of the cupcake company said it's the best gluten free cupcake recipe they've come across. Use cocoa also powder. I personally never buy white flour again, and have opted to start a collection of gluten free flours, like the barley flour, makes great pancakes, and of course you need to always add some baking powder. Blue corn flour also makes good muffins with appricots and cranberries. I miss baking.

Day 2 went fine. Weight continues moving downward.

Last night I watched a lot of Youtube videos related to binge eating. A lot were badly made documentaries/sensationalist reports on talk show that almost felt mocking, but there are also a lot of personal testimonies, and I realized just how many people from all walks of life have suffered/are suffering. Seeing that strengthened my resolve to be nicer to myself. The weird thing is that I have no latent self-loathing or emotional baggage that I can contribute to it - I think it's just a product of dieting for a long time.

Happy birthday ncuneo! Guilt has no place in a happy life. Here's to a new year of health and happiness.

Beila I didn't realize until I started binging myself in March that my dad is a binge eater, so I can't use that as an explanation or reason for my own actions. He used to be a bodybuilder but has gained 70 lbs as a result of depression meds/stopping exercise. There really is something about the 10 day mark...hoping we can both push past that and move forward!

#49....

Beila- I'd like to try the fava bean flour, do you have to mix it w/ arrowroot flour? Oh and i forgot, yes my hubby takes the junk to work w/ him so it's not here for me to binge on. He doesn't eat it, he just leaves it in the car.

Hey ladies. Happy birthday Ncuneo!

I am really struggling with my old eating behaviors especially since pregnancy left me 20 lbs heavier. And my 6 week old is being very fussy. it's been every 30 minutes today--he wants to nurse...and i'm drained.

I just graduated RN school in may. Had the baby in May. Studied for the boards all through June...and just passed the boards on June 18th. I am officially wiped out...now i'm getting ready to start my BSN program which begins on the 27th. My house is a disaster and both SO and older brother ARE NOT MUCH HELP. which royally pisses me off.

I HAVE TO GET all of my financial paperwork in, cuz i need the money to pay the bills.

today was a disaster. I hadn't eaten all day, cuz i wanted some milk...and i had to go to the store, and in order to go to the store i had to have his older brother watch him when he was in a decent mood...

finally got to the store, got back and baby was screaming again...so i asked big brother to tend to him while i hurriedly scarfed down some cereal and milk...then big brother went to play...and little man fell asleep...and I headed for the cabinets...chips, pudding, chocolate cookies...you name it...

I got sick to my stomach..and thought "i know why i did that". I want some control over something, and right now this is the ONLY thing i have any control over.

i feel like i'm unravelling at the seams AND NOBODY CARES. what a way to feel for someone who has accomplished as much as I have...huh?

so here I am...i know you ladies are taking it one day at a time..and i will too.

JenDiet--it seems like you have a very hectic life right now, but as you take care of your new baby think about giving the very best healthy milk to your baby by feeding your body all the good nutrients and raw materials (fruits and veggies), and giving yourself enough food for energy to take care of the people you love, your hubby and children. I'm sure know how to eat right and take care of yourself as you've learned about diet and nutrition in your classes. Congrats on finishing btw! I am also trying to get into PA school (but I have been slacking off and avoiding the stress of the application process). Anyhoo, I am amazed that you did all that you have done while pregnant and having your new baby. You have given a lot of yourself to your family. But you are here now and are declaring that you want to lose this weight and stop your bad eating habit. Take this time now to care for yourself by eating right, throw away all the junk in your house. Start feeding healthy foods to everyone in the house, and let them know this is a new healthy lifestyle you are starting. Ask for encouragement and help from your hubby and brother and let them start to help you out with things since you need to nurse every half hour.