Day 1 starts tomorrow :(

I binged last night and this afternoon. :(

Last night at the gym underground parking lot, I had to turn a sharp corner in my car due to some stupid person who had to back up and reverse, causing everyone behind him to have to back up and reverse, and I scraped the side of my car.

My gym workout was short, and not intense, I was just too tired to workout.

I went home and waited the hours to go by so I would just sleep. But then decided to just binge on kashi cereal. This morning and through the night I felt sick.

So today, instead of going back on track, I just ate more. This was like a conscious effort to binge and destroy my hard work over the past few days. I knew what I was doing to myself. I regret it now, but at the time, I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to drown my upset with food. I did feel like I blew it last night too, and thought well just eat more. I don't know why I do this!
I had 2 TV dinners and a tamale, 6 ice cream sandwiches and 4 cheese apple turnover muffins. Sick sick sick. :(

I am on my mobile phone, so I can't properly address everyone at the moment, but I noticed some of you mentioned "why do we binge when we reach weight loss" or something like that...this is EXACTLY what happened with me. Like I should feel entitled or something. I weighd in at 153.5 the other day and was quite thrilled with the progress, and now I feel like I destroyed that.

I almost cried today. Maybe its TOM...anyways, iKve gained 2 pounds. I need to figure out how to stop my binges. :(

Yes. This is what happened to me Thurs/Fri. Although I guess that's pretty much all binges, isn't it... where you know exactly how much damage you're doing to your health and your weight loss, but you feel like you can't control it, but you KNOW it's technically your decision so you feel even guiltier, but you just keep doing it.

I wish I had advice and answers, but... I'm only on day 3. :dizzy: So here's what I have: :hug::hug::hug: and empathy.

Beila: You can get back on track - these past few setbacks don't have to be a big deal, and those 2 pounds don't have to be real gain. I'm sorry to hear about your car :( That sucks.

End of Day 4, and I guess I just had a NSV of sorts. I ate well today, stayed on plan, and then had a lighter than usual dinner because i wanted to "save" some calories for the donut & chocolate milk (from Dunkin Donuts) that I wanted for dessert. Since I couldnt "save" all those calories without starving myself all day, I had planned to go over plan by a couple hundred calories. So I planned it all out and went to DD. I stood in line for a couple minutes, looked at the donuts, and decided to leave!

I went and got a small McDonalds plain vanilla softserve cone for dessert instead. They say that's only 150 calories or so, but even if it's twice that much, it's still several hundred less than what I had expected to eat, and still not over my allotment for the day. I don't know how I managed to say no while I was already standing in line, smelling the donuts! I'm proud of myself.

I just realized I only ate 5 ice cream sandwiches, not 6...I was eating so fast I didn't count correctly. I am laying in bed sick to my stomach. I threw away the rest of the junk food I bought and a tv dinner too, even though it wasn't even opened. I feel so out of control, I can't have any food triggers in my house until I get strong again. I thought I was getting better, but today just proves I may be going backwards in my battle. This binge seems worse than my last. And then the overeating last week which I forgave myself for and moved on. The only good thing about last week was thur-sat. I was so good those days. I should focus on those days in my food diary.

Very impressive!

Can you figure out anything you did differently those days, maybe not even food related? Anything in your mood? Your habits? Maybe you can find something that will help you in the future.

Beila Sounds like what I did, almost in a nutshell. You will move on from here though...onward and forward is the only direction to go.

I'm on Day 2 today and the scale moved down 4.4 lbs overnight after one day on plan with running.

Day 48 done. Wow, I totally could have polished off the nutella jar today, but didn't. Sigh......glad today is over!

Hang in there, Beila!!!!

Hope everybody else is doing good!!

Maaaaaaan. I have been congratulating myself for not eating those donuts, but now all of a sudden I'm struggling with urges again. Namely, the urge to stuff my face with Stouffer's Mac & Cheese and all manner of pastry until I can't move. :( I'm not going to do it - I'm going to read a little and then sleep - but it's sure hurting my morale. I know I am capable of losing weight, but when I imagine how difficult it'll be to take off and maintain if these urges don't stop, I start to wonder if it's worth it. Oh well. Tomorrow's another day.

Hang in there Beila, it will be ok, we have all had those moments of being out of control and getting rid of the trigger foods was a very good thing to do because if you don't have any of the junk in the house then when you do go on binges you are only able to binge on healthier foods. Because if you are like me and had to go out of the house to get the foods you are craving, well that would just be to much work, so it helps not having it in the house.

As for why do we self-destruct, I think for me it only happens when I just get to a point where I am working so hard and feel that I should be making more progress and then step on the scale to see that I have only lost a lb or even worse gained weight, then I go in to "oh what is the point" mode and reach for whatever I can find. I am definitely an emotional eater, always have been, so if there is a whole bunch of life stresses coming at me all at once I have gotten to where I can handle it but if you through like drama with the hubby or something like that on top of it then the game is over and that is what happened this past weekend. I was angry and feeling so unappreciated and like I have to do every stinking thing to keep my household running and I just felt like what the heck is the point and why do I care, no one else cares about me, the only way they would care is if I couldn't work and do everything for them anymore, but that was when I had to refocus and remind myself that I care about me and that I have to keep going for me, and my little girl. And I have to remind myself that hubby cares about me too, he just doesn't show it the way I feel he should.

So with that, I am starting day 3 today.

Beila: :hug: I feel your struggle. Hang in there.

I had a great weekend at work--working.
I had a terrible weekend at work--eating! :(
Well, luckily there was a Monday right around the corner, where I could restart. I MUST stop this cycle. I can't continue to binge every weekend--it's disturbing!! And just as I type that, I am thinking about the plans I have for this coming weekend--a wedding, a cookout, and an ice cream social--REALLY????

Back in the game! This time I am really committed to stopping this terrible habit once and for all. this is day 2 for me!

Jenfett- You hit it right on the head!! I am going through that right now!! I think times like that are the MOST important during any weight loss journey.

I have to keep telling myself that people who successfully reach their goal DO NOT stop, no matter what. I saw Jennifer Hudson on one of the morning news shows, and someone asked her how she got through plateaus, and she simply said to just keep on doing what you are doing. Because it is obviously working, and will continue to if you stick with it.

So, I am trying to remember that all the time, LOL.

And you are right, those feelings of discouragement lead RIGHT to binging feelings. It's such an evil cycle!!

We can all do it though, we WILL beat this and win!!

Been a little MIA, but still binge free - Day 22 (I think). Been overeating since Wednesday, but REFUSING to feel any guilt. Between rebellion against the restriction, being out of town, TOM on the horizon and today being my birthday it is what it is. I know I will bounce back and I know I will prevail!

Hang in there everyone who is struggling. I'm learning that, especially for women, this is a journey of ups and downs and in-betweens and we just have to roll with it.

I'm really hoping that the office forgets my birthday today. I SO have no desire for cake today, I'm craving healthy clean food. Sometimes just taking a good break makes me gravitate hard back to my healthy lifestyle and that is so reassuring that this life is for real and my current gain is temporary.

Have a good day everyone!

I knew I was over eating last night but i went a bit too far.... Earning day 1 today.

Ncuneo
:bday2you:

Hope you have a WONDERFUL day!!