Donna ~ I guess that is why since it is only basically frustrations and not something worse that I put up with DH ~ he has his usefullness.
Back along I think it was discussed on here ~ just dreaming for fun ~ if I could have things how I wanted (a perfect world) I think living in a duplex ~ me on one side, DH in the other half might be the way to go ~ LOL. The rules would be though that he take care of his side, and do the maintenance, yard work, bill paying and all that stuff for my side too ~ all the stuff he does now. I could get to furnish/decorate how I wanted. He would not be able to be tweaking the heat or A/C.
In other words, I guess I want to have my cake and eat it too. Have all the perks of being married ~ but somehow be able to do without the frustrations. It is nice to dream. Just like the crone circle, double wides and beach chairs ~ ahhhh the thought
Good morning GGs!! It's a beautiful day...no it's cloudy as usual but not raining and anyway it's just a beautiful day!! I decided not to attend our usual retiree brunch today as I want to catch up on things around here. So dh went alone. He's also going to stop and pick up some glass cleaner. The company who installed our windows last year gives us a bottlea month and it's good stuff. Because they are in Portland I haven't bothered to pick up any more but but when they were here (twice) they brought me two bottles each time so I've had plenty. I don't clean house that much! It is really strong stuff and makes me cough a little ...so not sure it's healthy...but it cleans really well and it's free.
UPS just brought me the two gift boxes of Wine-a-Rita. I'd never heard of it and wasn't sure what to expect but it is gift boxes of bags of flavoring mixes for wine or juice. Would make very nice gifts and unless dh really wants them (we rarely drink wine or juice) I think I'll keep them for gifts.
Marie - Don't worry we can use the Puffs! My dh wakes up every morning with allergies and I have chronic rhinitis, not allergy but a vaso-motor response. So we go through tissue like crazy! Today I won two...another book and some omega3 supplements. So I'm almost up with last month, but still not quite.
Had to laugh about the eye rolling and "the look" ...I thought it was women who did those things! I have to admit I've caught my eyes rolling a few times but have tried to stop it because it is disrespectful and I hope he didn't notice. I hate it when I hurt him. Sometimes I don't like that he isn't very observant but at other times it's a good thing! Respect, understanding, overlooking, and forgiving..a good marriage sorta comes down to all those I guess.
KarenFL - I too like what your dh did. He seems like a very nice man.
Jess - Marriage is not for everyone and I know I can live alone but I would be very lonely. I think everyone should have the skills to live on their own though.
Deelee - You mention when you are weaker, things bother you more. I notice that my dh and I have more difficulty getting along when one or both of us are tired or not feeling well. It's just more of a struggle then. My dh is a lot more tired now than he used to be. He's almost 77 and I guess it's age. He was always so active and rarely seemed tired so it's hard to accept for both of us. He is not one to complain (I am the the complainer...verbalize everything!)..but he will just be cranky and I won't know why then later find out he's hurting or exceptionally tired. I wish he'd verbalize more but it's just not his way, so I have to remind myself that it's probably not me but something going on with him. I am getting so I recognize clues in his behavior that tell me too that in the past I didn't pick up on. Marriage is a lot of work but it does have it's rewards too.
Well, I stayed home to get work done so better stop this and get to it.
Morning everyone. not a whole lot going on. i did get that huge pile of dishes done.my dw doesnt work so have do them by hand.i used to hate that but kinda enjoy it now in a wierd way. i can gaze out the window and day dream. Marie you asked my nationality,well i'm Finnish. i'll be back later rosey
I'm back again ~ sorry ~ I just can't help myself today. From what I write about my DH you all must think that I just tolerate him. I do love him and like him. We do get along. We are both quiet and not comfortable being around big groups of people. He has a funky sense of humor that I get. We talk and laugh about stuff. But like Deelee says ~ Sometimes I don’t want HIM - but I don’t want anyone else.
I finally called him and said come and get the car. He kept pushing and pushing me for what my plans were. So, I feel less stressed now. I will probably be sorry tomorrow. I will have to get up earlier than usual so that I can do the errands I was going to need the car for today, before going to work tomorrow.
He and Maddie have gone park hopping. Maybe if I can get all the things done I need to do here, I can call them and they could end their time at a park near home and I could ride my bike there and meet them. I'll have to see. For me I guess, I need to be able to be flexible ~ things don't always turn out as I hope they will. And trying to stick to a rigid schedule or plan just causes me stress.
I guess when I have to stick to a schedule every day, it feels nice to have the days off and just kind of do what ever, when ever without having to be on a schedule.
I'm still up to my neck in kitchen cupboards but at least the doors have been rehung. The last two weeks have been somewhat crazy around here with all the food and dishes strewn about the house taking up every empty bed or floor space. Today I did manage to make bread as I could not stomach another loaf of store bought. Eating has been just as crazy and not always on track, but one does not redo kitchen cupboard more than a few times in a life time (at least I don't).
I've read all the posts I'd missed and I'm getting a general theme running through, LOL.
I had a "moment" with DH this weekend when the tack cloth (for wiping sanding dust off a piece of furniture) was missing. I looked high and low and asked DH several times if he'd seen it. I did have another one that was almost worn out and used that. Next day I looked again but couldn't find it so I opened a new package and while I was cutting it to size DH looks at me and says he threw the other one away because it fell in the paint. If he's neck had been close....Needless to say I had a few choice words. He just kept telling me he forgot he'd thrown it out. We're friends again.
Anyway, back to the salt mines. Just took a break from wiping the herb and spice bottles before I put them back on the shelves.
Gayle, I have just read your post and Boy does that sound so familiar to me!! I used to try to get "everything" done before I would go and "allow" myself to enjoy family times. But you know what I have found out--that dust, the dirty clothes, the dishes, they will always wait on you... the family will go on without you and the grandkids are going to grow. Then you will probably look back and say "What was so important that I missed all these fun times?" I know I have probably posted it before but my Mom had a motto about her housework---"Clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy!" She always had her dishes done and her bed made--- everything else could wait. Kind of a nice way to think of it I think.
Now about these DH's!!! I know most of you know my story with mine.. We were married in 1970 but divorced in 1982. He married someone else and so did I. Then both of our marriages did not work. He stayed in Colorado, I was in Kansas. Then in 1993 we started talking and he ended up coming to get me in August of 1993--- we were married again on Dec. 31, 1993. I guess we really are soul mates, not always getting along, but we know we are where we are supposed to be. It feels good, not all the time, but we are happy. Guess it took us being apart to grow up and know how much we meant to each other!
WHEW!!! Now I need to get ready to go to the store. Going to pick up some flowers and take to bible study with me tomorrow. It would have been my uncles birthday and I think some flowers will be nice to give to my Aunt. Then my sister and I will treat her to lunch.
Karen ~ it is not that I am a cleaning freak. (If you saw my house ~ well ~ it fits your mom's saying.) It is just the regular stuff. Have to get the laundry done so I have clean scrubs to wear to work. Pack lunches for work. Today I was filling out paper work to turn in for the Physical Therapy appointment. I am just kind of slow moving ~ hurrying to get the stuff done is stressful. And on my days off, sometimes I just feel like I need to rest up for the next set of days.
I probably spend too much time on here (you see how many times I have posted today) but that is relaxing to me and my fun.
I have got to get tough about diet.
Going to have to get in detox mode.
Gayle-I don't think anyone thinks
there is anything wrong with your
marriage. Most of us have times
when we get annoyed.
Mary - my husband isn't verbal -
I say, "Use your words,dear,"
Just like I did with my kids.
Karen- lol- he did feel at home-
So did ds.
This is a video that has just been posted on Facebook..It was 9 months ago tomorrow that the tornado came through here.. Still lots of work to do but so many volunteers are still here helping to rebuild our Joplin!!
Hi Karen, i see you live in Joplin i was just getting my sis to join your group she is Matty and from Joplin also sure hope things are getting back to normal more for all or you. How awful that was!
Welcome to you Ladysheets and Matty!! Actually, I am in Carthage but my family is over in Joplin and Webb CIty. My sisters MIL's home was destroyed in the tornado but she had passed away the week before.. the Lord worked I'm sure to protect her from having to go through all the devastation. We clear over here in Carthage had bandages and things from the hospital and also a big chunk of someones roof landed in our yard. But we were so very lucky not to have all the damage that so many have. They are working hard but still some parts of it look like a war zone.
Thanks for the birthday wishes, GGs. Went to a “Fat Tuesday” pancake supper at our church and splurged a bit on 2 helpings. Someone let the cat out of the bag about my B-day and I got sung a hearty rendition of happy birthday and my DH was kidded about taking me out to a pancake dinner for my b-day. Hey, it was my idea!
Other than too many pancakes I have been good with healthy eating and exercise this week. Those pesky pounds should be history soon, I hope!
