[ladyinweighting]

Hi Everyone,

My SIL's surgery went well. He is about to put some weight on it, but it is swollen and pretty painful. He begins PT next week.

I was supposed to see my South Jersey friend today, but she fell again (about the 5th time in the last 6 months). Does Alzheimer's make people fall?

Hi Bobbi,

I REALLY hope that you are getting some relief from the migraines and the pain in your shoulder. Is there some kind of migraine medicine that might help? When I had my hip pain, I used to listen to a CD focused on pain relief. Do you think something like that might be useful? If you think it might work, I will find it and send it to you.

Originally Posted by ellabella

Lynn, I DO think that I will continue writing after I retire - perhaps do a little contract work here and there, perhaps write that book that I've had simmering in the nether regions of my head for lo, these many years. My biggest adjustment, I think, is going to be living on a reduced income. My social security will be just a little less than half of what I currently take home, and I have yet to determine how I want to draw my pension. Also unclear on how to use savings - I'm used to *depositing* against a rainy day, and feel a little weird about withdrawing and watching balances go down, rather than up, you know? (Also feel a little stupid about my LACK of financial know-how).
Mostly, I wonder - have concerns about - who I am/who I will become as I grow older. I sometimes wish I felt wiser and more earth-mother-ish, but I just don't feel all that prepared yet for sucessful cronehood.
Z

Hi Zoe,
I will preorder that book right now! I LOVE your writing. BTW – is your DH still painting?
About using your savings – it is scary. My hospitalization takes almost all of my pension. Basically, that leaves me with my IRA and Soc Sec. Rarely can I go a month without tapping my IRA funds. And, of course, when I travel, it takes a BIG hit. However, I figure that while it lasts, I am going to enjoy it.
The role models that we have for cronehood just don’t seem to fit any of us anymore. We are certainly not the “granny” type, or the country-club golfing type. I keep searching around for my “type.” If I find it, I’ll let you know.

Originally Posted by jess1

I don't feel like exercising, either, and I'm not sure you can look forward to that happening when you retire (but I'm glad it worked for you, Lynn!)!

Hi Donna,
When I began exercising, I just did about 10 minutes. Every day I would add another minute. At the beginning, it was difficult and I had to make myself do it. Really-truly, it grows on you.

Originally Posted by the slim me

Lynn, no one knows everything, and I never feel I need to. I always tell my patients "anything is easy if you know how, and hard if you don't". We're smart, we can learn! In the mean time, that's what family is for! You have such a knowledge of so many things, don't fret ovet the things you don't know.

Hi Freda,
It’s just difficult when you have to hire folks to do stuff and you don’t know whether or not you are being taken for a ride. For most of my life, I lived in an apartment & just had to call the landlord if I needed something.

Originally Posted by Karen3

Lynn....Wednesday night. Survivor.......please please get rid of Marty or Na Onka.....please!

Hi Karen,
One down and one to go. I think that Naonka is a psychopath!

Originally Posted by glynne

Yeah ~ I got up and headed right out for a walk this morning. I hope I can get in the habit of doing it like that every morning. Do it before I get taken up with something else. The longer I wait in the day, the less apt I am to do the exercise.

Hi Gayle,
That’s what I do. I always tell folks that I am halfway through my exercise before I totally wake up. It has become such a habit for me that I don’t even think about it.

Originally Posted by jess1

PT/Zoe, I don't know exactly what happened. Until the stock market bellied up a couple of years ago, things were good, and I didn't have any worries about money. Now, though, I'm of an age where no one is interested in hiring me. My business is very economy-driven, so it's gone way, way down. I'm at about 1/2 my income, social security won't give much (worked in the public sector for years and didn't contribute to social security), and I still have a mortgage! If anyone has $35,000 they'd like to donate, I'd take it! I know I'll be okay. I'm always okay! But it's a concern!

Hi Donna,
At one point in my life I left my high-stress, high-paying job and took one that cut my salary by over 1/3. It was interesting to me to see what I cut out of my life and whether or not I missed the cuts. Cutting my daily spending – food, clothes, eating out, travel was pretty easy and didn’t really hurt. Basically, I changed the places I shopped and cut out all travel. The 3 things that I REALLY missed were 1) my cleaning lady (she comes once every 2 weeks); 2) cable TV; and 3) the gym. As my salary went up at my new job, those were the things I added back.

Originally Posted by akrosey49

i get my surg..they are scheduling it today probably in about 2 weeks..this visit was like dr jeckel and mr hyde..the dr could not have been nicer,hugged me told me what a great job ive done,,we dicussed the things that could happen and answered alot of my questions..he considers me a hi risk patient becuz of my age,previous sug,and medical issues but he said yes he said a prayer overme and left..i was speechless..i asked about the 1st meeting and if it was a ploy to make me angry and determined..he had a twinkel in his eye and knodded..it worked and ive lost another 5 #,,now on a trip up to anchorage the rd where marginal..we had a flat tire going thru the mts..ugh..we changed the tire but realized it was a fake fairy donut tire,,it was suppose to be a normal spare but when we bought the car we didnt check..so we had a temp tire and over 100 miles to go thru the mts. we drove about 40mph..was worried we have another break down and also be late for dr apt..anyways we made the apt by 3 min and sat and waited as the dr was over booked..my apt was at 2pm and we saw him at 4:30..we went and got the tire fixed and ended up getting 4 new tires ouch on the pocket bk..we had dinner and headed home..it was raining in anch turning to sleet then snow and blowing wind then back to rain and then clearing as we drove thru the mts..we got home late and i was so glad to be home..and im going to stay put today..

Hi Rosey,
Wonderful news! I know that this is the news you wanted to get. Sorry you had such a stressful trip. Enjoy your nice warm house.

[Karen3]

Horrrrrrah Rosie.....So glad for you. Checked the calendar and you are the only Golden Girl who knows what she is doing exactly for Thanksgiving. Great planning.....hugs karen3

[akrosey49]

I wanted to add to the talk about retirement..my dh retired on a medical,our income was really reduced,, we took his retirement in a cash out and added it to our 401k and rolled it into a 20 yr variable annuity,we get a check every month ,the principal stays the same and they invest our funds and it goes up and down with the stock market..we did this becuz the choices his comp gave us did not allow a say and what happened to his money and if something happened to him i wouldnt get any of his retirement..its working for us..i could apply for disability myself but if i wait until im 65 i can go on my husbands ss and that gives me more than if i went on my ss..now we live on his ss and the annuity altho all our basic needs are met it hard to live an a fixed income..big expeneses have to be planned for and unexpected things like new tires really bite..we manage but rarely have a lot of extras,,so trying to figure what you need to live the way you want when you do retire is a quandry..we went to a financial planner and he helped us figure out the amount we needed to live out life..he suggested the annuity..inflation is not a retired persons friend..but all in all i love being retied and so does my dh..we come and go as we want and somehow it all works..zoe maybe a planner could help you figure this out or at least give you some advice about it..hope this helps you a bit..by the way"fabulous shoes" i love shoes my kids always razz me about my shoes and crazy socks..Bobbie hope the therapy helps,it just takes time..lynn you amaze me what a great attitude you have glad your sil is ok..karen3 i didnt like marty either glad hes gone,karen31 glad you made it,jess i dont like exercise either,my dh is always trying to get me moving grrrrr is my response lol..glynn thankyou im excited and nervous at the same time..anyways dh wanting lunch (((hugs))) for all rosey

[glynne]

Hello all ~

The topic of retirement is a very timely one for me. I have been thinking about it recently even though it is a ways off for me (I am 55). I read with interest what you all write about retirement. I look forward to the time when my turn comes. We go round and round here on that topic. My husband is already retired. He started his retirement at 56. He is a good financial planner I guess to be able to do that. And because of his planning I was able to take a different job. Was doing nursing, but wanted to get off the night shift and the nursing job had begun to feel so stressful to me. Anyway, I took a position as the unit secretary on the unit where I had worked as a nurse. It cut my pay by about half. So, I am thankful that because of my husband having us be real careful with our money and his planning that I was able to do that.

But regarding the retirement ~ I ask him when I will get my turn and his answer is that one of us needs to work to get the health insurance. Before this job change, I had told him that I didn't mind if I was the one, I just wanted to do a different job if I had to keep on. So here I am. But I still look forward to when my turn will come. I asked him the other day when retirement age is and he said 65. My fear is ~ what if I get sick or something and I never get my turn? My job right now is maybe as close as I'll get. I work only on the weekends ~ 16 hours on Saturdays and Sundays. That is pretty cool, because I have all week at home to do stuff, and I get enough hours (32/week) to be able to get the insurance. But still I look forward to when I get to be done with work. Be able to do things and not have to worry about if I can get a day off.

My dilema I guess is ~ do I get to decide when I retire? Somehow I feel like that should be for me to say ~ not my husband. I guess maybe it is something that spouses should talk about and agree upon, but I sort of get the feeling that he is going to try to push me to work as long as I will do it, until I put my foot down and say no more. So, I don't know what is the right thing to do. I was reading on the internet last night that it is possible to retire at 62 ~ I guess that you don't get as much social security or what ever (I feel kind of stupid ~ I have never gotten involved in the financial stuff ~ it makes my head hurt trying to understand it, so I don't understand all that stuff.)

I think that when 62 rolls around, I would like to be the one to decide if I keep on or what. If I feel good, maybe I wouldn't mind. But like I said ~ it would be nice to be able to do stuff, go to stuff, do family stuff and not have to worry about working around a job.

Thank you for listening. I welcome your guidance or comments.

Take care

[ellabella]

Originally Posted by ladyinweighting

The role models that we have for cronehood just don’t seem to fit any of us anymore. We are certainly not the “granny” type, or the country-club golfing type. I keep searching around for my “type.” If I find it, I’ll let you know.

Actually, I have no trouble finding role models - one, in particular: a true "renaissance woman" who writes, works magic with herbs (both in cooking and for medicinal use), hosts wonderful social gatherings, and is a good and loyal friend whose ability to embrace aging even as she remains vibrant and energetic never fails to amaze and delight me. And, as much as I love her dearly, I simply can't imagine having her energy or zest for life. I'm not sure I ever did, to be honest. Alright, so although I admire her greatly, I can't say that I have the motivation to ever even conceive of wanting to be just like her. Which, I suppose leaves me searching, too, for the right role model. Mostly, though, I would just like to feel that I've accumulated some wisdom along the way - would like my children to come to me for advice, rather than visa versa. And they do, to a certain extent - or at least one does for sure. The rest...well, they all seem to feel quite confident about their capacity to handle their lives, and I suppose it's good that I was able to instill some self confidence, but...yeah. So I think that's what I feel is missing at this point. Back a few generations, there were family matriarchs - "wise women" - who still were looked up to as authority figures. Now, I almost feel that my children see me as a contemporary. Granted, I don't suppose I fit the image of an "old crone" very well, but with advances in health care and nutrition and all, we seem to be staying "middle-aged" a lot longer than we used to, and the result is that we're in an in-between category - kind a a limbo-like place, neither young nor old. We know how young is supposed to act; we've been there, done that - and we have a pretty good idea of how "old" is supposed to be, but we're not quite ready to go there. So, how is "in-between" supposed to look, act, feel, etc?
Interesting to think about...eh?

So, I'm wondering about Mary - haven't heard from you in a while, have we? Time to check in, dearie!
Gayle, it seems like some increased communication between the two of you might help to clarify things for you. As for retirement age, and all of that, you can go to the official social security website and get all that information. You may not be too pleased, though, with what you see there. You say your DH told you that 65 was the age when you could retire, and of course you're eligible for retirement at 62, but if you want to collect your full social security, you won't be able to do that, I don't think, until you're 67. If that's not an issue - I mean, if your DH has arranged your finances so that you can be comfortable with less coming in from social security, then I would guess that 62 would be your target age. Maybe you need to have a candid talk with him about your finances? And, also, you might consider having some sort of plan to present him with about what you want to do when you retire, rather than just *retiring*. Good luck...
Rosey, oh, YEAH! Absolutely LOVE shoes (mine tend to be lower than they used to be; I was SO glad when flats came back into style!) and I wear all different patterns of panty hose - herringbone tweeds, houndstooth checks, argyle, stripe...I have some sort of outrageous looking pantyhose for every outfit. (I know that the people at work think of me as being very eccentric; I love THAT, too...) Oh - and congrats on having your surgery finalized! What a year this is going to be for you, girl...
PT - I feel sometimes like there's something wrong with how I view money, which is why I don't attract much of it. Maybe it's all my years as a social worker and working for non-profit organizations that help the poor, but I am very turned off by people who buy stuff just to "have" it, and spend money just to keep themselves happy and entertained. It's also one of my biggest objections to our political system - what gets spent by candidates trying to get themselves elected could easily solve the homelessness and hunger problems across the country. I don't enjoy things like touring the mansions in Newport, Rhode Island - I know that a lot of people enjoy seeing "how the upper crust lives - or lived" - but when I see all that excess and meaningless luxury, I think of how the robber-barons who built those grand estates made their money off the backs of poor laborers who worked long hours for pennies a day, and frequently died young, either by getting caught in the machinery of textile or shoe mills or whatever....or hacking and coughing themselves to death by spending 12 or more hours a day in coal mines. So, I think in MY mind, it's the money that's bad - as well as the people who squander it - and so I've never made huge amounts of it myself, nor have I managed to hold on to much of what I [I]have[I] made. Maybe I should try a little self-hypnosis, and see if I can actually start to LIKE it? (Money, I mean )
Bobbi, I hope you're feeling okay today - hope you got a good night's rest. Meatloaf with apples & oats, huh? I wonder how that might work with ground turkey?
Hello and happy Friday to all our Golden Girlies... Freda, Karens 3 & 31 and Isabella, wherever you may be (once a golden girl, always a golden girl).

Z

[Karen31]

Good Morning! Zoe, I love those shoes!! It seems like I am in sneakers most of the time these days.

We spent quite a bit of time with Mike yesterday and he is doing Wonderful! They had a pizza party last night and he loved that. The new manager has really done wonderful things with the home. She just put in a HUGE aquarium (75 gallons) and they just added the fish yesterday. Mike can sit and watch fish for a long time. I am so happy with the staff they have and how happy he is with each and everyone of them.

We still haven't had any snow here---oh it "spit" a little bit yesterday but nothing really came of it. BUT it is COLD!!! I don't think that I have got warm since we crossed into Colorado!! Today we are going on up to Woodland Park to have lunch with a friend up there. Right now it is 14 degrees up there!!

We plan on heading home tomorrow hopefully before the next snow is supposed to be here. Maybe we can get out a ahead of it and stay ahead of it.

Bobbi, I don't drive the truck with the 5th wheel attached! It just seems to be to big even though everyone says it is very easy and you don't even know it is back there....I'll take their word for it. We usually drive 6 to 8 hours a day and then put up in a RV park or state campground.

Rosey, I'm so excited for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I just know everything is going to go wonderful for you.

Well, everyone else Hello--and I am thinking of everyone. So much going through my mind that we still want to get done and today is the last day here. WHEW!!

[ellabella]

Ooops! Me again! Nice pictures, Karen31! And I LOVE those glasses!!!! I LOVE BIG glasses! I need some new ones myself - where did you get those, and could you tell me what kind of frames those are? I WANT them!

(Thanks!)


Z

[Karen31]

Thanks Zoe, I have had them about 3 years. I bought them at Doctor's Vision Works and from what I can see on the frame it says "Harmony" I don't have the paper work here with me but I will try to remember to look when I get home and see if it is written on that. Remind me next week if I forget.

[jess1]

Good Morning, All....
No diagnostics on my toe????

KarenMO, good pictures! Your son looks happy... and I'm glad you didn't freeze here! It's mighty chilly!

Rosey, I'm so glad for you!

Nothing going on here, just trying to stay warm. The power went out for BLOCKS last night about 9 p.m., brrrrr... so I put on flannel jams, socks, and went to bed! I think it was out at least a couple of hours.

Everyone, stay warm and dry and SAFE!

[grammajiggles]

Good morning ladies ! Life has been crazy here so it is nice to " sit " for a few minute and catch up ! Somebody asked me to share my name and my goal is this for that .... at 10% weight loss I will share ! Not that it is a secret but I have to have a goal somewhere !

Dh is fighting the battle of Ulcerative Colitis and Crohn's again . Last year he had all but 30 cm of his bowel removed and they said the chance of either was about 5% ....... well unfortunately he is in that 5% that had a reoccurance Now we are back with the meds and the possibilitiy of more surgery in the future ! The specialist told him to eat what he wants and if it bothers him then don't eat it again ..... well I have a very stubborn man who figures that maybe the " bother " was a one time thing !!! BUT he does know that all veggies bother him so I end up making 2 different meals . I have salad and he doesn't but we pretty well keep to same main meal , chicken , lean meat and fish . His problem is he is a kitchen grazer at night so if he snacks then I end up snacking as well ! I try keep healthy snacks in the house but he isn't beyond going to the store and buying junk food I am hoping that this time I can convince him that the junk food is not doing either of us a world of good ... obviously !!! fortunately I can disappear into my craft room at night as he watches a lot of sports ....

We will get through this but it is stressful !!! Thanks for listening ! Have a great day !!!! By the way , we had our first showing of winter yesterday ..... a skiff of snow but they weatherman says we are supposed to be back to 10 C on Sunday ! It is crazy as usually as we have a foot of snow by now ! i like the sun and no snow much better though !

[jess1]

I'm in hog heaven!

http://www.recipelion.com/index.php/...ipe-eCookbooks

http://www.recipelion.com/Christmas-...ree-eCookbook#

[akrosey49]

Hi everyone..it looks like my surg date will be tenatively Nov 30th.. as the dr wants to make sure the assistent he wants is available..they said id know for sure on monday..im excited and nervous..spent the morning doing house work,dishes, folding clothes,picking up clutter,honestly we are clutter bugs ..zoe i dont wear outrageous panty hose but i do wear wild socks in vivd patterns.pink lime green purple orange..in stripes, dots checks flowers the crazier the better and even mis match them which drives my girls nuts,,lol id love being called eccentric,hoping u all ahve a great weekend..i'll check in later rosey

[the slim me]

Good Morning Golden Girls,

Busy day! My son is coaching my DGS's flag tag tournament. It's a 2 day thing and lasts almost the entire day. And baby it's cold outside! I'm hoping to see a little sun out later but tomorrow it's supposed to rain.

Gayle, I am 63 in Dec. and I have another 2 years to work, at least. Not even so much for the money, but for insurance. I am the provider for us too. My husband was part of the automotive industry layoffs. You can start drawing SS at 62 but medicare doesn't start untill you're 65. And insurance is a must. And it's not cheap. Nothing that I could afford to pay outright. Like Donna, my husband would love to go to work, but at 64 there is no one that would hire him. This is not what we planned for either, but LIFE happens. And we adapt.

Rosie, How wonderful. The waiting is over and now you can make plans. Plan on taking some of those mismatched socks to the hospital, it gets cold. Give the Dr.'s and nurses something to smile about.

Gramma, Sorry to hear about your husband illness. Hope it's something he can work through. And we all know what giving up the food we want is. Makes us want it more.

Lynn, Happy to here that SIL's surgery went well. If all goes well he will soon be wondering why he waited to have it done! And people with alzheizmers do seem to fall a lot. I'm not sure if it's a balance thing or not.

Karen31, Glad to hear that you made it ok. And your son looks happy. I know you must wish he was closer but it's so hard to find good care givers.

Bobbi, How did the appointment go? I hope you get relief soon.

Z, we are indeed a new generation. Not really fitting into the mold set by previous generations. I guess how we define our lives will set a new "old". When do you get old? Sometimes I feel as old as the hills and sometimes I feel really young. One thing I have come to realize, "things" don't mean much anymore. I have really simplified my life. And we think alike about the Robber Barons and politicians. The money they spend on this election to slander people was just outragious. The money spent on Nancy Polosey (not spelled right) alone could have fed a third would country! And didn't Meg Whitman of California spend 150 million of her own money on her attempt to become governor of Californa? Plus the money she recieved from the Republician party. Not trying to be polotical here, just talking about excess. These are just the ones that I remember.

Donna, Stay warm! Haven't you lost power a couple of times lately?

Karen, Isn't now the time we should be visiting you in Florida?

Everyone, have a good day, Freda

[Karen3]

Good morning all.....Come on down. It is already 68 and rising. Should be in hi 80's later and sunny. This is the beginning of our dry season. Perfect days and great sleeping nights. And time to attract the snowbirds. There is another seafood festival with about 200 tents of not only wonderful food, but arts and crafts. Plus a home improvement show. And bike porker run. Plus something over in the canyon but not sure if it rock and roll or country. That is a quarry that has been made into a theater. Plus all the usual stuff like airboat rides and swimming with the manatees. Me I'll make another try to get to the library.

Rosey....how long will you be in the hospital and how much teaching will you have about your diet needs? Is the some place closer that you can get support? Must tell you that inpatients who are squeaky get the attention, but somebody with those socks will become the adored one. And really get attention.

Lynn....Glad SiL knee is doing well. Did they do a replacement? If so it will set off bells at airports. Full body scans coming up! yikes Na Onka is a teacher?? Wonder what the parents think of her rants? Or are we the last generation to worry about what others think?

Hi Gramma just can't call you Jiggles! Not sure if i said welcome earlier so welcome. Take care of you because as a care giver you can forget to do that.

Zoe....I bottled the sunlight and shipped it to you USPO. Bet it never arrives. Next time i'll Fedex it.

Bobbie....Hope the headaches are letting up. Hate when it hurts to even think.

Freda....Dh semi-retired at 63 and took full at 65. Which meant I got to retire at 60. There were a few years where I was paying big bucks for BC BS and rolling over into medicare was great. At 65 BC BS announced that they would love to continue to insure me for a meer $500 a month. Now in that time(5yrs) I had not used any insurance and am definely not getting preggie. Blew that off. And every Fall when push is on to change carriers you better believe their ads hit the circle file fast.

I baked an apple caramel coffee cake 'cause i was dying for a piece. Save one slice and took the rest to bridge. Did lick the knife! Left MY SLICE wrapped on the counter and had dreams all day of dessert. Dh gave it to his fishing buddy! sigggggggggggggggggh. Will laugh about it tomorrow(maybe)

Off to library....hugs, karen3

[akrosey49]

Morning everyone..its shopping day..i love to go shopping..karen 3 i will have a great support system,my niesce and a good friend have had the surg,so have 2 of my sisters,also dr office sets you up with an "angel" a former patient to assist answering questions for you.. the hosp stay is 2 -3 days. then i have to stay in anch for a week becuz we are from out of town.. we paln to stay at providence house a facility like the r mcdonalds houses..i have had several classes on how to handel this new way of eating.the 1st 3 weeks its liquids,jello,etc..then pure,ed foods or baby foods..then progresses to soft, after about 5 weeks i can introduce meats and other things as tolerated..you also have to have 3 protein drinks aday(small proportions)my tummy will hold 2 to 4 oz at a time..you eat more frequently..the surg is a tool and the success you have depends on the effort you put in..the procedure im having is called the rny gastric bypass if you want to check it out,..thankyou everyone for being so suportive..nothing on my agenda today except to the groc store,,i'll check in later and hope your days going great rosey