Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
I can't believe it! I walked out to the Boulder (our VW Passat) and went for a drive—leaving just before dawn on Sunday morning, so it was twilight out and there was hardly any traffic at all. My legs got really sore during the short walk in the carport, so I wondered if I'd be able to handle the pedals OK, but no problema. My driving was as smooth as silk: you'd never guess it's been over a year since I was behind the wheel. I remember the exact date of the last time, too—February 21st, 2015.
After picking up a large coffee at the Starbucks drive-up window, I hit the Beltway first, because I adore freeways and goin' real fast when it's safe to do so (85! any slower, and I would've been run over by the handful of other cars whizzing by). I went all the way to the Connecticut exit (Chevy Chase), then circled back so I'd be heading east and could watch the sunrise. It's going to be a clear day. Just a few little pale orange clouds that soon dissipated, and the enormous orange sun coming up. I had Deep Tracks on Sirius-XM turned up loud, naturally, and was surprised, even delighted, when they played "Kyrie Eleison"—rather a limp version, but appropriate for a Sunday morning, I suppose. When I glanced at the screen to see who the band was, it was the Electric Prunes! Who woulda thunk it... (For the younger folks: they were a truly minor, one-hit or maybe two-hits band in the 1960s, mostly memorable for their silly name.)
When I got off at the Greenbelt exit, I didn't go home right away. Instead I went out to the nearby Beltsville Agricultural Center (a big government experimental farm, with both crops & livestock) where the speed limit is 25, and completely changed pace—cruisin' along, not a single other car on the road, admiring the way the sun, just above the horizon, was making the dew-covered pastures glow in varying hues of green and golden. And because the trees are bare, I could also watch that huge orange-gold ball of sun through the strips of forest. Beautiful! When I got to the Baltimore-Washington Parkway, I circled back again and came home. It was about an hour's drive in all.
Wow oh wow, did that feel like FREEDOM! I was grinnin' so much the whole way, my smile muscles started to twitch. =laugh= I feel like a human being again! Even on some future day when I can walk around the neighborhood, and around the lake, it's not going to give me a thrill like that. I've been out driving, usually alone, just about every day of my life since I turned 16, including many loooooong road trips, and now I'm 61. So that's a lot of years. Being in an automobile is my favorite mode of travel, by far. When Bob and I go well over a thousand miles to my home state of Texas, we always drive, never fly. Now that I know I can drive again, any time I want, whoa, what a head trip...Now I can't really accomplish anything by driving, because I can't get out of the car and walk, but still....
When I got home, I did have a bit of a misadventure. I'd walked further than usual, for practice, last night, and I'd told Bob he didn't need to bring the wheelchair upstairs—more walking, to the bed, and back & forth to the bathroom!—so putting weight on my legs was seriously agonizing. (No pain at all in the car, of course.) Plus I'm not used to walking, even just standing up, in my Birkies. No one wears shoes in the Mindfulness Center, where I see Mike. I did fine getting to the door, because I could lean on the car and then hang on the recycle bin, but there are two little steps up into the house. I made the first one OK, but the second one...it was only like three inches up, but oh man, what a hassle! I got my right foot up without a problem, but my left leg was like it was paralyzed: it would not lift my foot, no matter how sternly I ordered it to do so. I tried dragging it up sideways; I tried everything I could think of. The clock was ticking on how long I could be stuck there, because my legs were starting to give way beneath me. What an irksome ending to such a great adventure! So before I was gonna fall flat on my face, I grabbed the stereo rack and lowered myself gently onto my knees, just inches away from my wheelchair. From there, with a big effort, I managed to get both my feet under me so I could pivot into the chair. Whew! I was quite winded by then.
But that was just a little thing. The BIG thing is that I can drive!! =huge grin=
Betsy Thanks for your insight. I guess I am just grasping at straws so to speak to figure out what's going on with my body and what I can do to change things up to help me along. It'll come around eventually. Was just talking to DH about it this morning that it almost seems to me that getting the last little bit you have to lose off and then maintaining is harder than starting. I guess it's just hard in its own way. SO PROUD of staying 100% OP! Sugar is definitely a hard one for me too...Sugar, bread, etc is my weak spot. I'm ok without pastas and could go without stuff like tortillas and regular bread if I absolutely had to, but I looveeeee english muffins and any other type of flavored breads like other muffins, banana bread, etc. The lady at my farmer's market makes breads with left over veggies that they have during the year and she made a coconut peach loaf last year and I had to try it...It was the best thing I've ever eaten in terms of breads. We'll get this eventually.
Fi Happy that yesterday was a better day for you and your legs 15-20 is far!! The book you're reading sounds like a good one! I love to read but honestly haven't picked up a book in a very long time. I do a lot of reading online with different articles and such, but not an actual book...or even a e-read book. I have so many books here that I acquired when DH and I moved in together (11 years ago lol) that I haven't even read. So there's plenty for me to choose from, but this sounds like something that is right up my alley. I'll have to check it out Thanks for the help with posting....I was so mad yesterday lol.
Cal Glad you had the talk with him. I'm sure it didn't fall on deaf ears...Maybe he was just emotionally eating. I have always been an emotional eater and am so proud of myself that it isn't an issue for me anymore...but I know when DH had that talk with me in the past I ended up getting upset and eating my feelings. Men don't show feelings as much as women do. I'm sure he wasn't hurt by what you said, but more of an eye opener that hey...someone cares about me enough to say something....and holy crap this is something I seriously need to consider. I've been there and did exactly as he did. Just give it time and be there for support. Glad he is looking into different avenues on the surgery. I don't remember where you said you live, but if he has insurance they may cover it for him since it is something necessary to keep him alive. I know Canada is different than the US with their healthcare but I think even they would do it. It may take some time but he may be able to find a way. I hope it all works out for the both of you, (((HUGS))). Also, if you want a ticker I think you can just click on any of ours and it will take you to the site to make your own. Once you get to the last page you can copy the URL and paste it in your signature box and it should work.
Donna WOO HOO!!!! Taking your jeans in is great!!! Hope you and Sam have a great time doing Wii Fit today!! Glad your chest isn't bothering you so much either
Well I weighed in today....Really surprised myself...lost .8 pounds so I'm down to 205.8 now from my last weigh in. I think I gained and lost here and there from the last time I weighed in but I'm just going by my last number that I recorded. I also measured myself with a new tape measure that I got. It was given to me by one of my company reps and it is actually made for taking body measurements. The one I was previously using was one you would use for fabric since any other one I could find would have been too small when I started my journey. Not sure if it's due to the difference in the measuring instrument or if I actually lost in inches but total inches lost from last measurement was 5.75 inches over my entire body!!! I'm in shock and it was the boost I needed to say hey, I can do this!!
Just had breakfast and finishing up my coffee. DH had practice last night with his band before the Oyster Roast today. Got to hang out with one of his band mates son who is 2...I call him my nephew as I've known his dad for about 13 years and his mom and I went to high school together. He'll be at the roast and so will his baby sister who is just turning 3 months.
Anyway, Gotta go get ready, have to leave soon...Take care lovely ladies!!
Still raining. Still gloomy. But we've now added in 20-30 MPH wind gusts for that excitement factor.
Before I do individuals, let me thank everyone who responded and gave their own experiences on the mental/emotional side of this weight loss trip we're on. Lots of good info, confirmations, and thing to ponder. I really do appreciate it.
Fi -- Your long post means the world to me and I truly appreciate your insights. But what I'm really excited about is a) getting the windows in and b) getting out for a drive!!!!! I can so relate to the need to be able to be in a car and driving. When I go across country to visit my NC and GA friends, I drive. Now, I only go about every 5 years, but I would only fly if there was an emergency or a funeral where timing was important. So glad that you were able to experience that wonderful feeling again -- and that you were able to get back in the house!
Calda -- So glad that you had the conversation with your partner. Maybe the next step is to give him some of the tools that will help with becoming more aware of how much he is ingesting. One of the calorie counting apps, articles on portion sizes (that was an eye opener for me!), etc. Thanks for your feedback on my question. The different perspectives help me a lot. Glad that your side effects from the cholesterol meds are abating.
Donna -- What wonderful news to read that your chest is showing improvement......that's didn't come out right, but hope you know what I mean! Otherwise it sounds like you got a new Wonderbra! I've been working hard on not losing control when I have a food that is high in calories and/or carbs. I absolutely refuse to put anything off limits because I know that I'll never be able to maintain the weight loss, but learning to eat it and not just cut loose on a spree is taking some modifications in my behavior and thinking. Good for you on taking in your jeans -- a new pair is definitely in order.
Sam -- It's funny how all of us have trigger foods that bring us so much short-term pleasure and are so bad for us! The breads sounded wonderful although my big problems are chocolate, chips, and ice cream. Actually, I haven't had any of those 3 in quite a while. Seem to have gotten side tracked by my sugar addiction and using candy. Good for you on losing weight and inches! What is the difference between a body measurement and fabric measurement tape measure?
The afternoon snack with some protein and a few carbs is really helping with the afternoon weakness time. I'm definitely addicted to sugar, and having the snack has helped keep those serotonin levels up for me. Don't know if this will work long term, but in the mean time it's helping me with forming some new habits. I had an interesting thing happen yesterday in the grocery store. Of course, I just skipped the chips/crackers/cookie/candy aisle (thank heaven they're all on one aisle in this store), and I went to the produce section to buy some apple. While I was there I got some zucchini to spiralize, a spaghetti squash, some broccoli for broccoli salad, cucumbers for cucumber and onion salad, and the apples. I was so excited. I can't remember ever being excited about buying healthy foods and thinking how it would be fixed! The shopping trip was about an hour after my snack, and I wasn't even tempted by the Easter candy display.
Guess I'd better get it in gear. I'm going to plant the tomato seeds today and get the monthly bookkeeping done. I was going to bathe Toby yesterday, but when he saw the leash and the beach towel he headed for the doggie door at warp speed. Hope everyone has a great day.
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
Sam— That's amazing you walked 7 miles! Wow, you must feel on top of the world. And you must have good shoes, too. =laugh= I've been meanin' to say that I loved that picture of your face after the massive workout. You looked great! You have such a beautiful face: great brows, great eyes, wonderful skin, cute nose, and those "bee-stung" lips are just fabulous!
I'm really discouraged. I guess I shouldn't have walked up and down the downstairs hallway last night. Today I've been in a world of pain. Every time I have to get up off the futon and go to the bathroom, I go through h*ll, and I'm totally trashed afterwards. That walking I did last night was really painful, so much so that I had a heck of a time staying balanced and not falling down. When I do this practice walking, I wonder what is wrong with me that I'm putting myself through such agony. Why don't I just accept the fact that I'm going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life? Wouldn't a normal person avoid such severe pain? Why am I so persistent, so stubborn?
Betsy, here's my take on belief. I believe I can lose weight. Period. Can I lose 100 lbs.? Or 150 lbs.? Or more? I don't know, but it doesn't really matter. I can work every day towards losing weight and I can lose weight. I know I can because I have. You have. We all have. You know when you start a project and it seems daunting, like you will never finish it, yet you keep diligently working at it, and one day you finish it (like those photo albums ) Weight loss is like that. It is a project and a process, and like everything else it can only be done a day at a time. You just keep working at it. Believe you can do it today and worry about tomorrow tomorrow.
Donna, congrats on having to take in your jeans. You should buy yourself some new ones. Fitting into a smaller size is quite motivating.
Fi, I loved reading about your drive. I could picture the sun through the trees. Very descriptive. I'm sorry that you have been in such pain since then, but it's a step in the right direction.
Sam, congratulations on the weight loss and on walking 7 miles. That's awesome.
Caldawg, congratulations on losing weight. Any weight you lose is a victory.
Porthardygurl, I hope you were able to enjoy your weekend and have some time for yourself.
I've been kind of out of control with eating the past few days, mostly Friday and Saturday. Yesterday was mostly good except for having a few too many nuts. My trade-off of Chinese food in lieu of pizza and cake Saturday failed in the sense that I had all 3 and the rice too. Friday I just kind of ate everything in sight. But, today is a new day, a new chance to do this right.
On a whim, yesterday I asked DH if he wanted to join the YMCA, and to my surprise he said maybe. The birthday party we went to Saturday was at the Y and the kids got to swim (adults too if they wanted to). I used to love swimming but I've just been too self-conscious to put on a bathing suit since gaining so much weight. I have great admiration for you Donna and Porthardygurl for being able to do that. So, we'll see. I don't want to spend the money unless we are both going to commit to it. Meanwhile I am going to start using my treadmill again today. I promise.
Happy Leap Year Day -- or as my grand nephew told me Leap Frog Day! Just had another battle with this site during the now ever mandatory log in process where it locked up my computer, told me that it was infected and to call a Microsoft number. Obviously I didn't, but had to do a forced shut down and run all the security scans. Ever since they made the programming changes last week, this site has been troublesome.
And on a happier note......
Cindy -- Your comments got me to thinking that evidently I do believe I can lose weight because I've been trying to -- with different degrees of success -- now for 3 years. What has dawned on me in the last week is that I need the right tools to finish that project (to use your analogy). Your weekend sounds like some I've had. And sometimes life just gets in the way. Getting a membership to the Y sounds like a good idea. Hope that your DH decides to join.
Fi -- I am so sorry that you seem to have a great day followed by several bad ones. I know I have pain from arthritis, but I can't even imagine the type of pain you must be having to have it keep you from walking or result in your falling. I talked to a friend this weekend who has fibromyalgia (she was first diagnosed almost 15 years ago), and she said that the thing that seemed to help the most was medical marijuana. Don't know if you can get that in DC, but she said it did a lot to help alleviate the pain. Don't give up. You're ahead of where you were last year and have done things (like driving and walking) that you thought were never going to happen again. You and Mike are making progress.
Sam -- 7 MILES. Really?! I'm speechless -- but fortunately still able to type away! I'm so envious of you being able to do that. So many things that I want to do here are off limits because I can't walk more than about a block without having problems. So it's good to know that eventually I'll be able to go a lot further. You are truly amazing.
Calda -- A loss is a loss. And there are so many weeks when for no known reason we end up a little heavier. Good job on losing some this week.
I'm going to make cucumber and onion salad and broccoli salad today to have for the rest of the week. The snack in the afternoon seems to be helping immensely. I don't know if there's a name for this approach, but as long as it works and I get back to losing again I'll just refer to it as the no name diet.
Lots to do today so I'd better get going. Hope everyone has a great day.
Well Hiya.
Fi.....I absolutely smiled from ear to ear when I read about your car journey! I absolutely love driving...especially if there is a coffee involved! And a sunrise too....wow! Well done for taking the bull by the horns.....just your sheer strength of will is awesome!
Sam....7 miles??? That sounds like such an achievement! I really enjoy walking and eagerly await the time that I can increase my walking distance! And I am fairly certain that the doggies would appreciate a longer walk!
Caldawg.....A loss is a loss so celebrate!
Hi To every one else...Port how is it going?
Well, briefly.....I have another loss this week...23lbs down so far. I am hoping for another 5lbs by Easter...then I will order some new jeans!
I managed 32 lengths of the pool today...even though it felt like I was swimming through treacle.
I am really sorry to be brief but I am sooooooooo tired!
Take Care,
Donna
Thanks Tootsieroll. I think the biggest barrier to him losing weight is the fact that he works away from home for half a week. If he was living at home with me all the time, his diet wouldn't be an issue as he would eat what I eat. He also doesn't move enough. He is really self conscious, and we used to go to the same gym, but I left that gym and went to another one, as I wasn't happy with the service I was getting, and I wasn't losing weight there either, because their was no support. He still has a membership at the gym though. My parents really do my head in. No one is ever good enough for them. I have had a number of serious boyfriends who I have taken home to them and no one has been good enough. My parents aren't small people either, yet they still judge. Worse still, they often actively encourage me to "keep looking around" for available men, when my partner and I have been together well over 2 years. The extra pressure sucks and I find it really disrespectful; I am in my mid 20s, I am hardly a lovestruck teenager. As I said before, my partner loves me so much its scary, and after the trauma I endured with my abusive ex for almost 2 years, gradually he has put me back together so that I don't feel as broken anymore. I don't want to lose him, period. Health wise, except for being overweight, he is healthier than I am; normal cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressure, etc, which I also thinks makes him unwilling to change. Looking back, being told I have dangerously high cholesterol is the best thing that has happened to me, as it has given me the kick up the backside I needed to start looking after myself. Basically, if my levels do not go down drastically, I am at a significant risk of having a heart attack. I don't want that to happen, so I am looking after myself. I hope my partner comes around. What small steps would you suggest I start with? He is pretty sporadic with his soft drink consumption, he sort of binges on it? I want to have a serious conversation with him, and I need a place to start, so if you have any ideas, please let me know? Thanks again Tootsieroll.
It sounds so difficult that he is away for half the week. That must be really hard. But good for you for taking care of yourself and trying to help him. Agree that baby steps can make a difference. On a night you are home together, have you ever tried preparing and cooking meals together? That can be a really fun and healthy activity to do together. My boyfriend encourages us to cook together and I love it! We both eat healthier now. Maybe even add going for a walk together after dinner? Both are such healthy habits that allow you to spend quality time together. Hope this helps caldawg89!
Wow am i ever behind with posts. Im still flying by the seat of my pants. Just dropping by to say hi! Still managing to make it to the pool for laps. Did 48 laps today or 96 lengths. Helping my sanity. I am sooo tired. Still have lots on my plate. My friend is still struggling even though her mother is there, so im popping over to help her out. Then later, i will be in the recording studio. I am singing harmonies for an album that a friend is making so long nights in the studio. Hooping its going to be a hit.
Got on the scale today..went up .4 There is no reason for it except stress. Yesterdays cal count was at 900 and carbs at 17 so i know its not me gaining weight. Whats crazy is that in the last couple of days people have been complimenting me on how "fabulous" i look. Well.. if this looks fabulous then i cant wait to hear what i will look like when im at goal.
Fi You my dear have left me speechless. No one (not even DH) has ever said something so nice about me before!! Thank you so much for making my day!! =big smile=. You are a born fighter...that's why you are pushing yourself to the limit...You know you should take it easy but not being able to get around is hard enough as it is. I think you're doing great but listen to your body
Cal Hey that's still great...every loss should be celebrated!!!
Cindy Chinese is one of my weaknesses too...I am in love with pretty much all ethnic food. Joining the Y sounds like a great idea! Use your woman powers and make DH join too ...Hope you made it on the treadmill today!
Betsy I know I couldn't believe it myself! I just threw on my jacket, put my headphones in and started to walk. I also did a little experiment with steps. My phone tracks my steps throughout the day and at that point I had done about 2200 steps but most of my steps I don't have my phone attached to me. But yesterday I walked around the oyster roast with my phone in my purse so that made up for the steps. Anyway, after my walk it said I had done 17,000 steps total...So my walk alone was almost 15,000!!! As far as the mileage I use the Nike + Run app on my phone. It works pretty good but I really want to get a FitBit HR. One of my company reps has it and she loves it. You will work up to it, don't give up! I remember when I could barely walk for 15 minutes without feeling like I was going to die. I remember that feeling all to well and I definitely don't want to go back to that.
Donna Great job on another loss! You're doing great! I was really surprised that I was able to walk as long as I did. I haven't done long distances like that since DH and I went hiking last summer. Although I do usually walk on the treadmill at an incline for a little over 4 miles each time so I guess being on the flat ground made me be able to walk more. Great job on the pool today! Rest well my friend
Well I had a bit of a late work day. One of my customers called really upset about her experience with the claims people at the company that insures her. She is a very particular person and is kind of flakey but she is very sweet and I felt bad for her because they really were dragging their butts with helping her so I called and raised Cain so hopefully that will get the ball rolling for her. Also had to finish up some filing that I had started before the call. There will be more tomorrow =frown= but I'll get it done.
The neighbor down stairs is home which stinks because I wanted to work out. I thought about going for a walk but the sun will be going down in the next 10 minutes and I don't like walking my neighborhood at night. I just don't feel safe. The more I sit here and think about me not working out today the more irritated I get. Maybe I can do a lower impact video...Really don't want to miss a Monday. Ugh now the bratty kids that live downstairs are screaming bloody murder...That's doing well for my slight headache lol...
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
A better day today: I was able not only to keep up my new level of no handholds in the bathroom, but one time I walked all the way to the bathroom and back. Then, when I was upstairs, after taking a nap with Bob, I walked all the way from my side of the bed (far side of the room) to the head of the stairway. All that walking was painful, for sure, and I had trouble w/ my right knee suddenly giving way in an unnervingly crunchy, slippy fashion, but over all...not too bad. Definitely not so crazy as two nights ago, when staggering up & down the downstairs hallway was too much, and made me miserable the next day. It's one thing to push the envelope, but it's nuts to crash & burn.
Tonight I did my right leg raises (I alternate nights for each leg) plus a new thing I've added where I lay on my back and pump my right knee up and down for a long time, until absolute exhaustion hits. After those exercises, on the advice of the sports medicine doc I saw, I apply an ice pack to that knee.
I have no idea what I'm gonna say to Mike tomorrow. The Qi Gong exercises and chi-oriented meditations (also did all of those today) are helpful, but only somewhat. But I know that I'm a raw beginner at all this stuff. Maybe I'll just keep my mouth shut and learn more Qi Gong movements. Mike'll like that: he's a champion talker, but being a body-focused guy, he prefers to spend our time moving. I do like the way he's always completely spontaneous (which he attributes to being a dyed-in-the-wool Taoist). He researches things that might help me, in between our sessions, but he takes his cue from where I'm at on any one day, ready to do whatever I need to do.
Betsy— I completely understand where you're comin' from, with needing to incorporate some treats into your day-to-day plan. Your pro-active afternoon snack sounds like it's working well for you. All I wanted to say with all that stuff about mastering cravings and bucking up your daily portion of willpower, was to suggest some techniques for avoiding the things you don't want to be eating, like the extra candy and stuff. Nor do I want to come across like I never cheat on my diet! I'm human: sometimes I have Bob buy me a big organic cookie, and sometimes I can't resist a portion of what he's making for himself—like last night, when I indulged in some of his superbly spiced black beans and rice. My worst failing, though, is with the quarter cup of muesli I'm supposed to have every day: way too often, I have a half cup, which basically blows my carbos for the day. During all this recent misery over not being able to walk without severe pain, I've been cheating enough that I didn't even weigh myself on the 22nd, the way I'm 'sposed to. I can tell I've gained a little bit, and I just didn't want to know. But I'm back on the straight & narrow today, and hopefully for many days to come. The less I weigh, the less strain on my damaged legs...
And a big thanks to all of you who had such nice things to say about the account of my joyful sunrise drive! =smile=
15-20 is far!! The book you're reading sounds like a good one! I love to read but honestly haven't picked up a book in a very long time. I do a lot of reading online with different articles and such, but not an actual book...or even a e-read book. I have so many books here that I acquired when DH and I moved in together (11 years ago lol) that I haven't even read. So there's plenty for me to choose from, but this sounds like something that is right up my alley. I'll have to check it out 
I've been working hard on not losing control when I have a food that is high in calories and/or carbs. I absolutely refuse to put anything off limits because I know that I'll never be able to maintain the weight loss, but learning to eat it and not just cut loose on a spree is taking some modifications in my behavior and thinking. Good for you on taking in your jeans -- a new pair is definitely in order.
) Weight loss is like that. It is a project and a process, and like everything else it can only be done a day at a time. You just keep working at it. Believe you can do it today and worry about tomorrow tomorrow.
Friday I just kind of ate everything in sight. But, today is a new day, a new chance to do this right. 
