Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
I'm doing it! I'm walking all around the downstairs! Bob was taking a shower when I wanted to go downstairs, so instead of waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him to bring my wheelchair, I just walked to the futon and dumped the stuff I'd carried down. Then I went to the bathroom. Then I went all the way down the hallway and into the kitchen, and got myself something to eat. Then I returned to the futon. All of that walking, not holding onto anything, for a total of a longer distance than I had originally planned.
Damn—I think I can now walk to anywhere I want, in the whole house! And if I can do that, I can walk out to the car and go for a drive! Whoopee! Freedom at long last! And it didn't even hurt very much. Just a little bit in my shins—no big deal.
I think this is the best birthday present I've ever gotten, in my whole life... and it's arrived a day early!
Well the drama and crisis continues. It would be easier if my friend could admit that she CAN NOT single parent her kids. She isnt living in reality. 2 nights ago i spent the night sleeping over at her house and then spent all of yesterday taking care of her kids on top of making meal plans, grocery shopping, bathing children and cooking dinner plus entertaining them, breaking up screaming matches and dealing with meltdowns before finally getting them settled into bed last night. She told me that parenting by hersf would be easy and that she just needs someone to pick and drop off her kids to and from school, someone to do their laundry, someone to do the ecycling and grocery shopping and her mom would do meal prep for the week and it was simply a matter of her taking care of the kids till they go to bed. Like a hop skip and a jump. Yah....no! It took me 30 minutes to get her youngest down cause she screams athe thought of going to bed. I had to physically pick her up and take her to her room and guess what? My friend cant pick her child up or drag them anywhere. Because her other 2 boys have autism..they have issues listening and it takes a lot of work to get them into bed. Earlier that day she said "im going to go call my mentor" and im like "ok". So she leas the room and goes to herbedoom and closes the door leaving me with the kids. When she came back, i said "reality check..as a single parent you cant do that..you cant leave your children alone while you talk on the phone for an hour" Her children have been caught running around the house with sharp knives before. They have endangered themselves and each other and even her when left alone and somehow she is going to just do this on her own?? Oh and lets not forget that earlier she was "exhausted" and wanted a nap and i said "reality check: your kids dont nap so you cant either". Then there was an incident when her kids were playing in the backyard and they were hitting each other and she says to me "im too exhausted to deal with them. I dont care anymore". So i went out there and dealt with both of them. I came back and was like "this is your job as a single parent now..you really think you can do this alone". For the past 9 years i have watched her husband do EVERYTHING for her and the kids. She hasnt had to lift a finger. She has lived on her couch watching movies, playing on the computer or sleeping.. and i mean sleeping like going to bed at 1 am and waking up at 1pm and then having a nap around 5 pm. She hasnt even had to change a diaper. She loses her temper at everything. She wonders what made her husband snap? Aside from the fact that he has what looks like OCD and Bipolar...he hasnt had a break in 9 years. Not one oppotunity to go away without the kids, by himself to have a break. Yet she goes away every year for a week. Like..can you say "BURNT OUT".
What a day! When her mother(who is only here for today and part of tommrow) arrived, I sent the two of them out for dinner so they could hash out some stuff and talk. I told her since her mom is here till tommorow afternoon that I would take today and spend it with my husband cause i hadnt been home in 2 days.
Sorry for venting.. it just frustrates me to no end how stupid she is being. She needs to accept help from family services..have her kids go to respite while she sorts this all out or somthing.
Hi guys! Just thought I would update you all on my Week 4 weigh in. In a month, I have lost 5.35kg, 18cm all over and I have gone down 1.92 points for my BMI. I am feeling pretty chuffed!
Porthardygurl, it sounds like you are getting a very raw deal! Is there outside agencies that may be able to provide extra support? It sounds like no one is coping in this situation. I truly hope it gets better for you!
Fiona W, CONGRATULATIONS on your progress! That is amazing, I am very happy for you! Fingers crossed that you continue to improve
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
Porthardygurl— OMG, girl, that is an UTTERLY impossible situation! You are an absolute saint not to have blown up and stormed out on that woman! I certainly would have. "Reality check" is just the beginning of what she needs: she needs a small army of helpers. Please, for your own sake, turn that situation over to someone or some service that can organize more people to help out, or even place the children somewhere else on a temporary basis. I'm worried about you....
Tootsie— Whazzup?
Calda— Way to go! Excellantay! Congrats!
Meanwhile, I'm finding this new walking thing to be both intoxicating and very challenging and even hilarious. After yesterday's feats of extraordinary athleticism =laugh= my thighs were so sore it wasn't even funny. But I was so happy, I just lay on the futon going "Oh boy! I'm so excited! OUCH! This is terrific! OOoooo OUCH!" (expletives deleted) and so on, for at least a couple of hours. Bob was really thrilled for me, but he couldn't help laughing at the stream of joyful exclamations and curse words over the pain pouring out of my mouth. Thank god for the cats: they were all over me, purring up a storm. And then when it came time to walk to the stairway, climb the stairs, and then walk into our bedroom to the bed, oh man, was that painful... !!!
But I'm undeterred by the pain: this morning I woke up at 5 AM with a great idea for a collage, so I got up (owww!!) and walked down the long upstairs hallway (owwww! oh-eeee!) to my studio and got some stuff I needed to carry downstairs to where the scanner-printer is. I didn't make it very far on the way back, though: at the door of my studio my knees began to shriek at me and I had to plop ungracefully down on the floor and holler for help. Poor Bob was already awake by then because of all the noise I'd been making, and he came and got the books & papers I'd retrieved and took them down for me, while I clambered on hands & knees back into the bedroom, and climbed back into bed—hurtin' to beat the band, but punchy from endorphins. I was laughing and moaning all at once, and Bob came back and sang me his family's traditional birthday song, the lyrics of which are:
It's not the pickles or the pears
It's not the beavers or the bears
It's not next week or yesterday
Today today is your birthday!
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you (repeat ad lib)
Oscar and Nénu have been bouncing all over the bed, tussling with us... well, you get the picture: this walking thing is a trip, but I gotta pace myself or my legs are gonna totally QUIT on me! =laugh=
Ooooo yummy, Bob just brought me a big Texas-style omelet stuffed with Monterey Jack, nopalitos (little pieces of cactus) and jalapeño peppers.
I can't wait to be off into more walking adventures.... and maybe (cross my fingers) going for a DRIVE today! Woo-hoo! I have been craving getting behind the steering wheel for so many months now.... it's ridiculous!!
Fi, Happy Birthday! I just read your post with the biggest smile on my face because I am so HAPPY for you. What a wonderful birthday gift to be able to walk around the house. After everything you have been through it's wonderful to see the progress you're making. You are rockin' your 60s. You go girl!
Betsy, some days I just want to throw my scale out the window. I assume your weight gain is water weight and temporary and will be gone soon. Thanks for trying to view my group again. It's probably something to do with my FB settings.
Donna, I also shave a hard time with social events - mostly because of the challenge of the food. I'm glad your little doggie was returned safe again.
Caldawg, congratulations on your loss. You're doing fantastic. Keep it up!
Porthardygurl, you have my sympathy and admiration for all you are doing for your friend. Just remember that this is HER situation that SHE created, not yours. It's wonderful to be able to help someone through a rough time, but don't neglect yourself in the process. You need to take care of yourself and your family too.
MaeCrochet, congratulations on losing your 5%. That's awesome. (Sorry this is belated. Somehow I must have missed your post before.)
Sam, I hope you're feeling better today.
Tootsie, are you out there somewhere? Miss you.
My scale is up 2 lbs today. I'm not too concerned about it though. It will go soon. (hopefully)
Not much planned for today. Possibly a nap later as I didn't sleep well last night. For now I'm off to get some breakfast and check job listings.
Sorry for the lack of personals these days..I rarely have time for much online stuff due to the situation at hand. I have managed to convince my friend that by the end of the week, if she does not have the resources she needs in place, given to her by the government and Ministry of Families and Children, that she will take all three kids to live with her mom in Vancouver because her mom can not afford to come over every weekend for 2 days. Its costing her mom over 400 dollars each trip. So this is good news that she has determined that. I just pray to God that this she sticks with that and that we can get through this week. Its going to be a long busy week.
I am thankful that in the midst of it..i have actually managed to stick to my diet and lose weight as i go. I finally made my goal of 225. Which means i have officially lost all of my re-gain from the past 2 years. From here on out its now down hill..everything i lose will be new weight lost to me. Wahoo!
Good morning all. Last week of February -- where has this month gone?!
Fi -- Happy Birthday. I would use the HB emoticon, but know you don't like them, but I'm sending you wishes for a wonderful day. And, WOW! What a boost it was to read about your walking, your sense of humor with the alternating between happy and swearing, and sharing Bob's family birthday song -- loved it! Have a great day. Heaven knows you've earned every bit of this euphoria and hope this is just the start of many more euphoric days.
Porthardygurl -- Geez. And I thought I had a bad weekend. Hang in there and stick to your guns on helping your friend to see the error of her ways. In the meantime, great job on losing the regain. It's good to know it can be done!!!! Now on to the continued losing.
Calda -- Wonderful job on losing this month!!!! Keep up the great work.
Cindy -- It was sort of temporary. Yesterday the water weight came off or at least most of it did. One thing that hit me last night is that I should do well with maintenance since I've now been the same weight for about 15 months (give or take 10 pounds which is my normal swing). I just have to tell myself I'm eating healthy and then cheat a little! Obviously, need to stop the "little" cheats. Good luck with the job hunt.
Everyone's taxes are now done, I found my seed order down in a box with a bean/pea pole contraption I ordered so I can get the tomatoes started, and I have finally actually gotten started on the last photo album. I've also changed my % of protein, fat, and carbs to lower my carb count to about 60g/day. I can still have a lot of carbs in good foods.
Off to the gym and then I'm going to get Toby groomed today. Need to clean house this week and do laundry and work in the yard later in the week as it's going to get up into the 60s. Maybe I'll get the tomato seeds started as well. Hope everyone has a great day!
Hi Betsy...I agree with you.....where does the time go? I am so impressed with your gardening....whatever the opposite of green fingers is...that is what I have! And there is nothing better than fresh veg from your own garden...I bet!!!
Fi....Happy Happy Birthday!! And well done! I am so happy for you!!! To be walking after so long...it is testament to your determination! Keep it up!
Port....it sounds like the pressure of your demanding friend may be off your shoulders soon. I hope you survive this week!
Cindy..hiya! And yep...don't stress small gain!
Caldawg...well done! Keep it up!
Ubee...hope you are OK......
Really busy day today. I started my training with a charity called Home Start that support families at home. I am going to volunteer with them and they do a 40 hour training course which will help my future job prospects. Then it was debating class and then it was swimming!!
Didn't sleep well last night so early night tonight! Second day of training is tomorrow!
Lost 4lb this week as I didn't resort to food to cope with Sam being away. I know that the weight loss will slow down but I will take anything I can get!
Take care everyone
Donna
Hi everyone. I woke up feeling odd today. I feel really lonely and disconnected from my partner and friends. I feel like we are all just growing apart? My partner is really stressing me out.. Since we met 2.5 years ago, he has gained 35kg by sheer poor eating habits and a lack of exercise, and he was already really heavy. I feel really awful just writing this. Anyway, I am second guessing a few things. We are engaged and he wants to get married and have kids but I am not so sure anymore.. He is doing absolutely nothing about his weight and I am scared we will build a life together with kids and everything, and then his health will catch up with him and I will be left alone. I am really scared for him. He is also not pulling his weight around the house and he works away for half the week, and I feel like we are growing apart, because I am having a taste of what it is like to live without him, and I have had to deal with a few things and I know I can. He doesn't realise any of this, and I don't want to hurt him, he is so gentle. I do love him, but this is making me second guess everything. Sorry to vent, but I don't know what to do.
I live hours away from my friends and I have a really demanding job, which means I don't get to see them often, and I have made no friends since moving away for work. It is really hard. My best friend found herself a boyfriend in November and has hardly spoken to me since. We have been friends for about 8 years, and now its completely fallen apart. She also lives 14 hours from me which doesn't help.
I am pretty set on my diet plan, however I have always been an emotional eater, and the present situation is really pushing my buttons. It sometimes feels all a bit too hard. Sorry for the vent, I don't have anyone else to talk to and I don't feel judged here. I would really appreciate some advice.
Betsy DH is doing better. Friday seemed to be the worst of it. Saturday he was just tired...probably from all of the bathroom runs. We kept the house sanitized with lysol and things so I luckily have not gotten whatever he had. How nice of you to do everyone's taxes. Glad mine are simple so I can do mine myself. Hearing of you getting your plants started has made me wonder if DH and I are going to try for anything this year. Last year we did too many basil plants and ended up wasting about half of it so I know we plan to down size a few things if we do the herb garden again. I guess that's a discussion we'll have to have soon.
Fi HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! What a present to get your legs moving more than you had thought you could!!! The omelet sounds delicious! DH is making us huevos rancheros tonight for dinner...I'm so excited! Hope you are able to get behind that wheel soon my dear! I know you're dying to feel that freedom again!
Port I don't know if you have any kids, but you are wonderful human being to look after them, especially when it's obvious that their mother could care less if they are even alive. From you story it's no wonder her husband had his snap like you said. It's just unfortunate that these kids have to deal with the backlash from that. That seems to always be the case with divorces and breakups of mom's and dad's...The kids are the ones who always hurt the most. You're a good friend for giving her the reality check she needs to get her sh*t straight because it's not just her she needs to be looking out for and she needs to stand up and be a mother when her kids need her most. Hopefully it all works out for those babies in the end, one way or another. Great job on the 225!!! So happy for you! I am always so happy to see your posts...you really help keep me going. Thank you
Cindy I'm feeling better...Still have the bloat from this TOM thing but overall I feel wonderful. Glad to see you don't get stressed about seeing the scale move when it's just a little bit. I've learned to live with it myself and only start to fret when it seems like it's getting out of control. Hope you had a great weekend
Donna Looks like you'll have a busy week this week! Great job on the loss!!! You're doing it lady keep going!!
Cal How does your partner take your weight loss goals? What I mean by that is do you think it's something that you may get him inspired to lose weight? Have you had a discussion about health with him and how you feel about losing him? I am a sensitive person so I know how hard it can be to have someone talk to me about a sensitive matter like that. If you really love him and want him around, you need to tell him or else all you're going to be doing is dragging him along if this would make you not want to be with him anymore. I've had to have the talk with my DH about this on several occasions. It's never easy, but showing someone you care of them like that may motivate them to change. Help him along, even if it's only baby steps. Going on walks in the park, etc. Just get out of the house even if it's only for a little while. As far as your friend goes....She's probably still in the honeymoon phase. Everyone I know that gets in a new relationship seems to drop off of planet earth for a little while, so don't take it personal. She'll come around, just reach out to her every so often to see how she is. Even if it's only a text that says, hi, thinking of you and hope you're well. She'll see that you care even if she's not in a position to get back to normal yet. I've been in the same relationship since I was 16 so I've had to learn that the hard way, but all will be ok. Just be there for the support when she needs it most .
Well I didn't exercise this weekend...Don't really care either lol. Saturday I spent the afternoon with my grandmother that was much needed. Sunday I ran some errands and hung around the house.
Today was a less hectic day than Friday so I was able to get a little something done at work. There's still so much to do and I really don't want to bring it home with me on the weekends or at night, but I might not have much choice just so I don't lose my mind week after week of constantly getting behind. I made a great salad for this week. It's a cucumber greek chicken salad. I made what I thought I could eat..put it in MFP and it was quite a lot of carbs considering it was just veggies, but I ended up only being able to eat half of it so it wasn't as bad. I actually got pretty full on it. I made the most awesome protein shake when I got home today before my workout. I had never tried cashew milk before so I bought a small container of the unsweetened vanilla kind. Through 1 cup in the blender, 1 scoop chocolate protein powder, 1 tsp PB and some water and ice and HOLY COW!!!! It tasted like vanilla/chocolate pudding!! It was thick like a shake but was so freakin good that is my new favorite thing now! I could probably go without the PB too since it wasn't even enough to have much taste in it so I may just leave it out next time. Also, even the cashew milk by itself tastes amazing! I usually will have regular unsweetened almond, or the almond/coconut mix...I'm not a fan of the coconut milk by itself unless it's the kind from the can but man this is probably my favorite of them all!! Definitely will purchase again!
I'm feeling great right now. I think it may be the protein boost and the fact that I took some Vitamin D today. I feel energized. I need to get some more multivitamins but until then I'll take what I have. Got a great workout in...Just good things all around.
DH is in the kitchen cooking up some huevos rancheros with chorizo. I'm a sweaty mess. Time to hit the showers coach!
Ubee: You're an inspiration to me, and I miss you. Hopefully you come back soon.
Caldawg: Hope that the cholesterol doesn't become a huge issue. It sounds scary. As for your sg, give him a chance to change. We all know making life decisions regarding weight is rough. If he doesn't change for health, though, then maybe he shouldn't be in your life in the sg capacity. Since kids would be in the pic, it's best to worry about how they will be cared for.
Donna: Hope that your knees heal soon. If not, get them checked. You can cause significant injuries to the bones, ligaments, or joints that make walking nearly impossible.
Fi: Glad that you're walking again. I look forward to reading about your improvements over time.
Port: What a difficult situation. Those kids may be better off in state care, if she's endangering their lives by not watching them. If the father was a good father, I don't see him abandoning them. Here's hoping that he'll get them or at least find someone else who'll care for them.
Mae: Nice to see you again.
kSwizzle: Welcome!
Sam: Sounds like the DH is making annoyingly yummy, tempting foods.
Cindy: Congrats on the loss: Don't sweat the gain.
Betsy: Toby sounds like quite the character. . Probably brightens up your life, though.
JAnn: Hi! I don't like the ads either.
Off the wagon all week last week. Started this week off badly. I cleaned my garage on Sat. I've been sore all over since then. Every joint in my body. Didn't really seem like I did much to be in so much pain. Having trouble sleeping-can't find a comfortable position-last few days. Not taking pain meds-some in my family have problems with addiction-I don't want to become an addict. Here's to hoping that I get my bottom in gear over the next few days.
Porthardygurl, I'm glad there is a plan in place for your friend, and good for you being able to stick to your diet while under so much stress.
Betsy, what kind of dog is Toby? I know you have mentioned that he's a big guy and sheds a lot. I would love to have a dog but I'm allergic. To cats too, but I think I've built up some immunity to them over the years since I've had cats in my life for the last thirty years.
Donna, I love to see that you're keeping yourself busy these days. Congratulations on losing 4 pounds.
Caldawg, have you talked to your partner at all about how you feel? You can't make him lose weight, or make him want to change, but you can let him know what your concerns are about his health and about your future together. It's not an easy situation.
Sam, your protein shake sounds delicious. I take a multi-vitamin every day, and extra vitamin C to support my lung function. I notice a difference when I don't take them. I should take some vitamin D also because I really don't get enough sun, especially lately.
Tootsieroll, good to see you back. I hope the sore muscles start to ease, and that you're able to get back on plan soon.
I ordered some clothes online, 4 shirts and a pair of shoes. I really have no shoes. I know, how many women ever say that? Actually I have a lot of shoes that my feet are too fat for now lol. The dress code at the company I worked at for the past 15 years had an ultra-casual dress code - jeans, tees and sneakers. So, basically I have nothing to wear for job interviews. I have one pair of dress pants and now one nice blouse. The other 3 were either too large or too small. I'm keeping one of the small ones because I really like it and will hopefully be able to fit into it in the not too distant future. The shoes are ok, a little tight in the toes but I can make them work. Have I mentioned that I hate this whole starting over thing? Ugh.
Hello everyone.
Caldwag I read your post a few times and I really feel for you. The starting point is that you love your fiance....so of course you want the best for him. But you are right to consider all aspects of your future together. The only thing I would say is that you need to communicate all of this to him and allow him the time and space to change. I am glad you feel comfortable posting on here. I know what it is like to be lonely and isolated...my thoughts are with you.
Cindy...when you say you take Vitamin c for your lung function...what do you mean? I have chest problems and am grateful for any extra advice!
Tootsie....thank you for your thoughts. My knees are better than after my fall but the only thing that will really help is losing more weight.
Hi to everyone else.
Well I have a really sick headache this evening, I am not sure why. I am really tired as I haven't slept well lately so I may go to bed really early!
Kept to plan so nothing really to report!
Donna
Tootsie The dinner DH made last night is actually on plan for me. It turned out really good. Sorry you've been in so much pain. Hope it turns around for you soon.
Cindy The protein shake is my new favorite thing...It's so good and I don't feel bad drinking it...yay for new found loves! When I remember to take my multivitamin I take the Alive brand...it's really good, has a ton of vitamins and also fruits and veggies in there too. I'm pretty sure the increase in my D3 has helped a lot over the past day...I'm feeling even more energetic today. I think PCOS women do lack vitamin D, I can't remember. That will be something I should ask when I go to the doctor next month. I hate starting over with jobs too...it's never easy. Luckily I'm in a great place where I don't plan to leave unless I move away or get fired. I don't want to go anywhere else.
Donna Hope you're feeling better. Headaches always make you want to be in bed early...The lack of sleep probably hasn't been helping either. Glad you're staying on plan my dear!
Nothing new to report. Having another good day...feeling energetic, and hopeful that I'm going to get the rest of this weight off. When you reach the point where I am you get to a point where you'll be happy to see the scale go down .1 a week lol...I'm grasping at straws here people...I'm not going to get down on myself because I guess if anything I am maintaining for the most part...It's just disappointing sometime when you feel like you aren't going anywhere....weight or measurements wise. TOM is slowly coming to an end so maybe I'll be able to get a real feel of where I stand this week. Tweaking a few things with my eating this week, ever so slightly so we'll see how that goes. I'm also back to tracking in MFP regularly to help keep me on track.
The neighbor downstairs is home this evening...Guess I'll be working out in my socks *eye roll* and doing something not so high impact and jumping around like a mad woman so I don't have to hear it from her. Sometimes I wish I was on the bottom floor just so I don't have to deal with her BS but being on the top floor is much better.
Thanks to everyone who replied to my comment. I just spent some time at my parents place and they have just mentioned in passing they have serious concerns about my partners health and what that means for our relationship/future. My mother went on to say that my dad isn't overly supportive of our engagement because of this. I feel like I cant talk to my parents about any issues/gripes I am having with my partner because they come out with all this every time. I have been engaged before to a really abusive man and it has taken me ages to recover mentally, physically, emotionally and financially.. I love my partner but this is becoming a real issue, and I don't want to hurt him. I feel really isolated, I have no one to confide in or to have coffee with anymore, everyone is busy with their own lives and its hard. Lately I feel like I just work, go to the gym and go home. I guess I am not having a great time of things at the moment.
