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-   30-Somethings (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/30-somethings-57/)
-   -   Single Thirty somethings!!!! (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/30-somethings/129711-single-thirty-somethings.html)

belleamiee 12-30-2007 07:05 PM

Single Thirty somethings!!!!
 
I thought I would start this for all the single 30 somethings out there. I know for myself my challenges are different. I don't have children-- never have or a husband. Have been engaged a few times but never made it all the way :P

I thought it would be fun to reach out to all of us who are out there and share our struggles. I know for me one of the biggest issues is going to be fitting this into my social life which includes alot of dining out and drinking wine!!!

I am also concerned about starting a new relationship while working towards my goal. I don't want to be distracted. Is there anyone out there like me???

LBH 12-30-2007 07:26 PM

Hi Amy, :welcome2: Feel free to join us on the daily chat if you'd like, that's where we do most of our chatting! Not all of us are married w/children. :lol:

brandyandi 12-30-2007 07:54 PM

I haven't been on this site in sometime and single thirty somethings is the first thing I read that i can relate to... ding ding ding :D

Peace ladies!!

belleamiee 12-30-2007 08:53 PM

Brandy-- thats what I am talking about!!! And moderator..I plan on participating but there is just something different I think that I am trying to have in this thread-- nothing negative but its hard for people I think like me to find other people like us. We are a small group in this world!!! And are always asked to kind of conform and make due with what else is out there. We are always asked to meet people wehre they are and not really the reverse. Does anyone else know what I mean?

I just choose to live a different kind of life. I love it! But the world sometimes just doesn't get it . :P

lppennington 12-30-2007 11:21 PM

belle, I am a regular part of the daily threads, however I am also 30 and single. Well it is more like single again. (divorce) I hear what you are saying, however; I think it would be better if you got encouragement from the whole group.

I don't believe that they look at me any differently since I am single without kids. Some are married, some married with kids, others are divorced (like me) and we are all really supportive of each other. Give it a try and if you still don't care for it, we will try something to suit you. K?

Lisa

belleamiee 12-31-2007 12:55 AM

Hey Lisa--

Thanks for the post....I am not sure if its me...maybe I am misscommunicating. I amt totally planning in participating in the daily thread but wanted to give a forum to single gals..never married without kids. I just think it has some interesting challenges and wanted to create a space to discuss them.

I think we should have as many forums as people need! I have only been on here for a short period of time and have bounced into a bunch of different forums and I love the fact that I can find support in all different places.

Sorry if I offended! thansk for your comment

BabyNicole 12-31-2007 08:09 AM

Hiya! I'm Nicole, and I'm 31 (gulp) and single. I love being single right now! I was also once engaged, but he called off the wedding 2 years ago. I haven't really dated since! I'm waiting for the perfect guy to fall into my lap and love me for who I am. Good luck, right? :D

LBH 12-31-2007 08:46 AM

Hi Nicole! :welcome: from another Jersey girl! There's a few of us on the daily thread from NJ.

jenjen 12-31-2007 03:38 PM

Single too
 
Hi Amiee,

I'm so glad I logged in today & found your thread! I'm 36, never married, no kids. You're so right about having different issues/needs/priorities than someone who is married or has kids. There are just some things I can't relate to & others that those w/kids or are married can't relate to about me.

And, I know what you mean about socializing too much wine! I also love to bake, which doesn't serve me to well...

I've been doing some "self-reflection" today and setting my goals to work on over the next year.

Looking forward to being an active part of the group & the 30-something group.

Happy New Year! :D

Jen

belleamiee 01-01-2008 01:29 AM

Hey Ladies!!!

I hope you all had a Happy New Year!!!

I dont' know Nicole it may just happen! I am sure you guys saw that major dating site that did the free communication weekend. I am not putting hte name because I don't think I can...well anyway I was bored at work on Thursday..and yeah I wound up having to work at the last minute between Christmas and New Years and said what the heck. Well-- I met someone! How random. We have been chatting on line the past few days. Now I am setting alot of boundaries in my life so I am only persuing friendships at the moment but I have to say its just been fun!!!

And to your wine point. JenJen Ugh I think thats going to be the hardest thing to have to give up!!!! I also noticed too that our weight loss goals are similar. Are you going to be working any particular diet? I just signed up for Medifast.

I am so glad you guys found the post! I am really excited about this journey I am embarking on and to find other people whose journeys have all intersected with one another!

Feel free to share ideas or what you think might be helpful to share!

:)
Amy

BabyNicole 01-01-2008 04:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by belleamiee (Post 1975176)
Hey Ladies!!!

I hope you all had a Happy New Year!!!

I dont' know Nicole it may just happen! I am sure you guys saw that major dating site that did the free communication weekend. I am not putting hte name because I don't think I can...well anyway I was bored at work on Thursday..and yeah I wound up having to work at the last minute between Christmas and New Years and said what the heck. Well-- I met someone! How random. We have been chatting on line the past few days. Now I am setting alot of boundaries in my life so I am only persuing friendships at the moment but I have to say its just been fun!!!

And to your wine point. JenJen Ugh I think thats going to be the hardest thing to have to give up!!!! I also noticed too that our weight loss goals are similar. Are you going to be working any particular diet? I just signed up for Medifast.

I am so glad you guys found the post! I am really excited about this journey I am embarking on and to find other people whose journeys have all intersected with one another!

Feel free to share ideas or what you think might be helpful to share!

:)
Amy

Good for you!!! Congrats! Have you met yet?

BabyNicole 01-01-2008 04:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LBH (Post 1974217)
Hi Nicole! :welcome: from another Jersey girl! There's a few of us on the daily thread from NJ.

Hello from Middlesex County! :wave: Is there a regular time you ladies chat?

jenjen 01-01-2008 10:38 AM

Happy New Year, Ladies! And here's to a happy & prosperous 2008. :hat:

Amy, I know which site you're talking about. I've been on & off it on occasion (right now, off). I met a few guys & although it didn't work out with any, it gave me hope!

I'm sticking w/the basics--calorie counting, watching fat intake, & exercising. It may be slow going, but I've decided that my goal is to be healthy. Not to weight X amount by Y date. I think that's what has caused me to fail recently.

Hey Nicole, How are you today?

Well, I'm off to fix the traditional Southern (sort of) New Year's dinner. Have a great day.

GatorgalstuckinGA 01-01-2008 10:52 AM

Nicole - we just randomly post our thoughts/chats at any time...just drop in and say hi. I can understand a singles chat..makes sense...but also don't forget about us on the regular chat...there are lots of us that can offer some great advice. And some of us (me) are just recently married so i still remember the pains/joys of being 30 and single. Many of us have a lot of good suggestions and advice to help you...on all aspct between life and wt loss....good luck guys!

belleamiee 01-01-2008 03:51 PM

I think that would be great to have a regular time each day to come and post. Is there a time of day that works better for everyone? My time is somewhat flexibe because I can access the site during the day and the evening.

Oh I got the call today that my medifast has shipped!!!

So today is the big day! Its the first day of 2008. Oh I want to share something with everyone. A friend of mine told me about this-- He names his years. Its something that should be thought about-- I pray about it-- and then you keep that in the back of your mind all year long as sort of a theme for the year. Its a really neat thing and I found that it gives me a deeper sense of purpose each year.

For me this year is my year of action!

Just thought I would share and open the idea up to everyone!

Well I am off to Target to pick up some things and use my gift card! I love that store. LOL

Ohh I am also thinking of taking up Bikrum Yoga. I have been looking into it for awhile. Anyone had any experiences with it?

:)
Amy

belleamiee 01-01-2008 03:56 PM

Oh Nicole--

No I haven't met him yet. I really want to take things VERY slow. So LOL in my mind I would like to wait until at least the end of January. Plus I am feeling self conscious about the way I look so I want to get started with my plan and not get distracted.

The nice part is that he knows most of this and believe it or not is completly fine at respecting my pace. Which to me thats a very good sign-- to have someone willing to wait for you. So I am content at the moment with just getting to know him.

LOL I will keep you posted though! Meeting people in person can be a big shocker sometimes. I have had some really positive and really negative experiences-- I don't know about you!

jenjen 01-01-2008 04:50 PM

My time to post would probably be in the evenings. I can log in from work, but don't really like to (the whole "big brother" thing), even though I typically work through lunch, get there early, leave late, work from home...yeah, I'm somewhat of a workaholic. :devil:

My sister in law is a yoga instructor, but I've never tried it. She swears by it though.

I have a gym membership & have decided that I will formally work out at least 3 days a week. They also offer classes & a pool, so I have my choice. I'm looking into another gym that has Krav Maga & martial arts courses. I've always wanted to try it.

I know what you mean about meeting in person. I've had some disasterous first dates--which didn't lead to a 2nd.

Amy, I love the "name the year" concept. The first word that popped into my head was "empowerment". I think that will be what 2008 holds for me--to be able to empower myself to make the right choices across the board.

I'm off to enjoy the final hours of my holiday. I don't know about y'all, but I'm not ready to go back to work!!!

Heidijn 01-01-2008 07:19 PM

Hello Everyone:

I can relate to the 30-something and single, although I am still married but separated. when I first joined 3 Fat Chicks I looked on the 30-something forum and found many people talking about husbands & kids. I do not have children and sometimes find it difficult to relate to people who do.

The prospect of being single both frightens and exhiliarates me. For one thing, I feel like I now don't have anyone but myself to rely on and therefore it should be easy to put myself first and finally lose that weight, right? But we all know that it's not so easy.

My husband doesn't want to do any kind of physical activity unless it involves driving a golf cart and drinking beer. I love to be outside and walk my dogs and run. He has always been supportive of that, but never to the point of coming along. I would love to explore more outdoor activities (I love virtually any winter sport).

Anyway, I would love to hear from people who are living and loving that 30-something single life, particularly how empowering it can be. After 15+ years of marriage I am totally not ready to date or anything, but I just want to feel stronger on my own. I do believe that "finally" getting control of my weight would be a great first step.

-Heidijn

GatorgalstuckinGA 01-01-2008 08:29 PM

i'm newly married and have no kids...but find that i fit in great in the 30's something group. We don't always talk kids or marriage...mostly we talk about our day and our ups and downs and struggles with our weight. i just find everyone caring and loving. i hope everyone gives it a shot...you will find a wealth of info/support to help you survive this thing called weight loss (:

belleamiee 01-01-2008 09:54 PM

I am glad you liked the New Year idea. How is maybe 10pm? Does that work for everyone?

flutist4christ 01-01-2008 10:10 PM

Hi, Amy. Thanks for starting a single's thread. I'd been looking for one. :-)

I'm 38 and single, though I do have a now-grown child. So I am going through a bit of a change, which means spending more time socializing. For me, this means food will be a challenge. I want to spend time at home cooking healthier meals, but that means being ALONE. Sometimes that's cool, but other times, I'd rather be with friends... but we eat out a lot. There are a few who go rollerblading, but I don't live anywhere near them.

I will probably be around at 10pm for chats most evenings, but that's my study time; therefore, that means you'll see a lot of me as I poke my head in for a "study break" :-D

jenjen 01-02-2008 09:26 PM

Hi Heidijn & Flutist. Welcome.

Socializing is difficult. The food/drinks that go along with it can be killers. I've decided to try to limit myself to alcohol twice a month. As I mentioned early, I enjoy wine & many nights may have a glass. Just extra calories that I don't need.

I love to cook, but hate to cook for one. I don't know how to make a meal for 1 and can usually feed a small army. It's handy to have leftovers, but after a while I'm sick of eating the same thing and I have limited freezer space. I try to take my lunch to work (usually a diet frozen dinner), but sometimes I forget or don't have a meal w/me so I end up going out & eating unhealthy crap!

I did go work out today after work. I think EVERYONE'S new year's resolution was to work out. The gym was packed. I did 45 minutes on the exercise bike. Not really strenous, but a start.

Honestly, I enjoy being single. Most of the time, I don't mind being alone. Every once in a while, it gets to me--not having a someone special just be there...But then I think about it & I can't imagine being married, having kids, etc...I've lived alone for so long (15+ years) that I have a hard time imagining sharing my space and having someone else ALWAYS there. Guess that means I haven't found "the one" and I'm fine with that.

Anyway, better go for now. Will probably be back in a bit. Have a great evening & rest of the week!

BabyNicole 01-02-2008 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by belleamiee (Post 1975987)
Oh Nicole--

No I haven't met him yet. I really want to take things VERY slow. So LOL in my mind I would like to wait until at least the end of January. Plus I am feeling self conscious about the way I look so I want to get started with my plan and not get distracted.

The nice part is that he knows most of this and believe it or not is completly fine at respecting my pace. Which to me thats a very good sign-- to have someone willing to wait for you. So I am content at the moment with just getting to know him.

LOL I will keep you posted though! Meeting people in person can be a big shocker sometimes. I have had some really positive and really negative experiences-- I don't know about you!

That sounds wonderful! It's great meeting guys that don't care so much about your weight and love you for who you are. I'd actually rather meet a guy at this weight b/c if I meet him at a small weight, and then go up again for some reason, he will love me for who I am. :D Too many times I hear about jerks who leave their women b/c they got too fat. :mad:

BabyNicole 01-02-2008 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by belleamiee (Post 1976514)
I am glad you liked the New Year idea. How is maybe 10pm? Does that work for everyone?

10 will usually work for me, but I'm tired tonight! LOL We just went back to school today (I'm a teacher) so I'm pooped! Plus I did 15 minutes on the treadmill...haven't don't that in a WHILE! :dizzy: So I'm tired! ;)

BabyNicole 01-02-2008 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenjen (Post 1978453)
Hi Heidijn & Flutist. Welcome.

Socializing is difficult. The food/drinks that go along with it can be killers. I've decided to try to limit myself to alcohol twice a month. As I mentioned early, I enjoy wine & many nights may have a glass. Just extra calories that I don't need.

I love to cook, but hate to cook for one. I don't know how to make a meal for 1 and can usually feed a small army. It's handy to have leftovers, but after a while I'm sick of eating the same thing and I have limited freezer space. I try to take my lunch to work (usually a diet frozen dinner), but sometimes I forget or don't have a meal w/me so I end up going out & eating unhealthy crap!

I did go work out today after work. I think EVERYONE'S new year's resolution was to work out. The gym was packed. I did 45 minutes on the exercise bike. Not really strenous, but a start.

Honestly, I enjoy being single. Most of the time, I don't mind being alone. Every once in a while, it gets to me--not having a someone special just be there...But then I think about it & I can't imagine being married, having kids, etc...I've lived alone for so long (15+ years) that I have a hard time imagining sharing my space and having someone else ALWAYS there. Guess that means I haven't found "the one" and I'm fine with that.

Anyway, better go for now. Will probably be back in a bit. Have a great evening & rest of the week!

Me too! LOVE being single...and it gets to me once in a while too! But then...I snap out of it! LOLOLOL :dizzy:

belleamiee 01-02-2008 09:56 PM

LOL ladies I love being single tooo!!! I am having a bit of a rough day though I am pmsing and you know when you get into that fatalistic mind set of ugh...and you just feel crappy about yourself and have a bottomless pit of hunger? I am working through it okay and staying up beat but man....when its 8 degrees outside and the winter-- fly me to the carribean! Quick!

BabyNicole 01-02-2008 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by belleamiee (Post 1978503)
LOL ladies I love being single tooo!!! I am having a bit of a rough day though I am pmsing and you know when you get into that fatalistic mind set of ugh...and you just feel crappy about yourself and have a bottomless pit of hunger? I am working through it okay and staying up beat but man....when its 8 degrees outside and the winter-- fly me to the carribean! Quick!

Where on the east coast are you? It's not 8 degrees out here in Jersey, but it sure feels like it!

belleamiee 01-02-2008 10:08 PM

Just alittle further north. Its supposed to get that cold tonight... I am not sure if it will down by you but....and I agree with you on teh guy thing..to have a guy who loves you larger and thinner...

jenjen 01-02-2008 10:16 PM

I guess no one is going to feel sorry for it being "really cold" down here---it's in the low 40s & will get down to the high 30s tonight. Might have to pull out the thermal underwear for work tomorrow. LOL

jenjen 01-02-2008 10:19 PM

You know, I've never had a boyfriend when I was thin. For most of my life I've been heavy, but I swore I would be thin for my 30th birthday--and was. That lasted about 2 years & then the weight started creeping back up....Go figure.

belleamiee 01-02-2008 10:23 PM

Yeah I just have to drop this weight...I have been over weight my whole life my lowest weight was about 196 and I was a small size 14. I just feel like its time. When I get married I want to be able to wear a 1940s really fitted silk dress..that is SO not gonna be an option right now!!!! LOL

jenjen 01-02-2008 10:32 PM

I got down to a 12/14. I remember my mom saying to me, "Your hips are so small!" But, I know what you mean. Right now, I'm not comfortable in my own skin. I feel so awkward. This is my highest weight--the one I swore I'd never get back to.

The only thing I have planned for my dream wedding is the cake! LOL How sad is that????

belleamiee 01-02-2008 10:37 PM

LMAO thats really funny! Yeah I am in the same boat as you. I have never felt so crappy about myself before. I cant believe I gainted this much weight. But I am hoping I am finally out of denial! And aren't moms great...I never get you look good but when things are going a little south the comment is-- you are looking a little hippy aim. Great! thanks. I told my mom a few years ago..unless you have something positive to say to me do not comment on my apperance I will not allow you to say negative things to me anymore. I had one of those diet with me moms. I started dieting when I was 9. How twisted is that?

jenjen 01-02-2008 11:03 PM

I started dieting probably around 10 or 11. My mom was the same way. Before my senior year in high school, I decided I wanted to lose weight so I went to the doctor. He put me on 500/calories a day!!! OMG. So not healthy. I remember laughing because I thought he was joking. I was skinnier for my senior year though.

belleamiee 01-03-2008 11:17 PM

Wow 500 calories. I can't believe you were able to do it!!

jenjen 01-04-2008 09:52 PM

It was pretty tough. My mom did the diet with me although she ate more calories. We'd have on "cheat meal" per week....usually it was fried chicken & french fries!

ViolinJenn 01-06-2008 06:30 PM

Belle,
What a great thread!:cp:

I'm 33 and single. I did just meet a guy and we are going to get together next weekend. My freakout is that I workout at the gym 4 days a week and don't want a relationship to interfear with that. :eek: We live on different sides of a large city and I am freaking out! :eek: I'm not too nervous about anything else, just that issue. Being active is part of my lifestyle now and I don't want to lose it, I like working out.:lifter:

Being single has made it easy to get to this point, but I do want that special someone in my life to. I guess it's just finding that person who understands that workingout comes as part of me.

All suggestions welcome! What's left of my fingernails and cutials will be deeply greatful!:thanks:

belleamiee 01-06-2008 06:45 PM

I am glad you like it!!

I say keep up with the exercise!!! I know for me I go through these periods where exercise is a normal part of my life then I get distracted and stop. Every time I get distracted and stop it takes me longer to get back into the grove. I say as you keep dating work out with him!!! Or meet up with him after working out. I am so encouraged by your accomplishments-- help me to stay on task!!!!!!!

;)
Amy

jaxnthbx 01-06-2008 06:55 PM

I think this site is a great idea... although i am 33 and divorced, no children. I wasn't sure if I was encluded since I was married. I would love to be a part. I struggle with dating and am so interested in hearing how everyone else is managing to meet new guys. If you are only looking for non married I can totally understand. It is a great idea.

ViolinJenn 01-06-2008 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by belleamiee (Post 1984625)
I am glad you like it!!

I say keep up with the exercise!!! I know for me I go through these periods where exercise is a normal part of my life then I get distracted and stop. Every time I get distracted and stop it takes me longer to get back into the grove. I say as you keep dating work out with him!!! Or meet up with him after working out. I am so encouraged by your accomplishments-- help me to stay on task!!!!!!!

;)
Amy

Thanks Amy! :hug: I know that I'm going to have to cut back or workout smarter(I'm gonna ask my trainer about that this week) soon. In addition to starting to date after a long break from it, I've also applied to several local Universities for part time study and I take violin lessons once a week all with a full time job! So continuing to workout 6hours a week with all that plus friends is just not physically possible nor mentally healthy!:dizzy: I'll see how it goes and as the weather gets warmer I'll do as you suggest and insist (gently) on doing some things outdoors together walking in parks, rollerblading etc.


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