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-   -   Single Thirty somethings!!!! (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/30-somethings/129711-single-thirty-somethings.html)

Naia 09-18-2008 09:58 PM


Originally Posted by pengbear (Post 2364830)
I had a kindly lady at Krogers (because here in the south you can't just pay for something. You have to discuss it with your cashier.) inform me that if I bought more ladylike foods, I may change the look of that ringfinger! Seriously? Ladylike foods? What, like roast beef with lace on it? I just stared at her, and said "I didn't know I could only buy the pink food!!" I was dumbfounded. Just shut up and let me pay for my food.

Ladylike foods!!! :lol: Next time, just go in and buy some nice big cucumbers, and tell her they're your "lady" foods :devil:

What? You can make cucumber sandwiches, put slices on your eyes...

Marms - I totally get the frustration, that's all I ever get too!
Peng - My younger sister has two kids, and whenever I tell my mom she should be happy she *has* grandchildren, she tells me, but they need cousins! It must be a mom thing!! Now my youngest (the baby of the family) is getting married, and will be a step-mom to boot... so I know I'm going to get it from all sides at her wedding. But I guess I can't back out since she is my sister. sigh.

RebaR 09-18-2008 11:32 PM

wow... singles.... how wonderful to find this group.... but I do have a question for you... I'm 42, soon to be 43... mind if I join in anyway?

Marms 09-20-2008 12:52 AM


Originally Posted by pengbear (Post 2368426)
Hey Marms, if you have any siblings, wait till THEY get married and have children. Then your folks will start giving you gentle reminders that your nieces and nephews need cousins, etc. And if you're really lucky, it'll be your YOUNGER siblings! Gah.

Nope, no siblings. Which is even more pressure, because I am the only hope for grandkids. I keep telling them that even if I do get married, I definitely don't want kids, so there is no rush.

Naia 09-20-2008 06:34 PM


Originally Posted by RebaR (Post 2368598)
wow... singles.... how wonderful to find this group.... but I do have a question for you... I'm 42, soon to be 43... mind if I join in anyway?

Be welcome! :)

Ufi 09-20-2008 07:29 PM

Hi. Feeling happily single today. Hope everyone else is doing well. In your 40s or otherwise. :goodvibes

Irish 09-22-2008 10:19 AM

Thought i'd say hello, i'm a newbie to this site, my name is Rachel and i'm single as well, nice to see there is a group of women here in the same situation:)

SBD Sass 09-28-2008 12:31 AM

Single, involved and unhappy all at the same time here. Blah!

ViolinJenn 09-28-2008 09:23 PM

Hi Reba, Rachel and SBD Sass!:wel3fc::wel3fc:

Marms-I can also relate to being the single one while your friends are getting married or are already married w/ kids. It's been one of several factors that has affected my social life as well, but oh well.

The more and more I think about it, I don't want kids either even though I do have siblings, my immediate family has come to accept that decision. The extended family, well sooner or later it'll sink in. Marriage is not a life goal for me. I do I do, I don't I don't. If I do it HAS to be right. If I don't get married, well more $$ for me, I can cook what I want and do what I want.

Cool that you're also in the Philly burbs! I'm in Levittown!

Pengbear-LOL...Ladylike foods! That's an good one. I've never had anyone make any wierd comments to me at the grocery store.

I just love this site! Only at 3FC can meet people who will accept you just as you are. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Well, I'm about 4 weeks into my first semester of college in a long time(13 years) and I'm just loving it! I like the challenge, meeting new people and using my brain. Cause the Good Lord knows I don't use the gift He gave me at work! I thought I'd never say this but I find doing my homework fun and relaxing!!:fr::fr: Even if it is Algebra, which is not my strength. The work is not that difficult yet, but it is time consuming. There is a ton of work to do if you want to do well. It's just practice, practice, practice. So that's what I do.

And OMG!! Am I ever so glad I am SINGLE!!! I decided that I'm going to throw myself into my school work, losing these last stubborn 10-20lbs and try to avoid being laid off at work. The last thing I need is some guy whining to me about how I spend too much time on my homework and never have time for him.

School has forced me to cut down on the amount of time I have to spend at the gym, but I'm going to do what I can. Monday and Wednesday at the gym for cardio and Wednesday get outside and walk or jog while the weather still permits. I was watching an infomercial for Turbo Jam Max results and it looks like so much fun! I'm going to spurge and order it so it can be my new Wednesday workout once fall and winter set in and even maybe on a weekend.

Well back to the Algebra book for me!:book2::book2:

belleamiee 10-30-2008 01:13 AM

Ladies!! :( :(

I have been gone forever. I hope you are all doing well. I have alot to read to see how you all are and ugh some stuff to share. I did that whole thing of I am going to pretend I am not fat and make pretend I don't need to lose weight and be in denial for the last oh what has it been 6 months? Until I saw new stretch marks I think starting this morning. I almost puked!

Can I say though I met a guy-- been dating him this whole time-- he is so awesome and of course loves me the way I am-- which is GREAT! But I am finding it to be something that is making me say to myself-- ohh well I dont' need to work on this-- he loves me no matter what I look like-- so its ok.

Jenns I hope you are doing well!

To the other ladies-- have any thoughts on my mental insanity.

Ufi 10-31-2008 12:25 AM

Hey, great! How'd you meet him?

I'm feeling kind of off balance myself lately, so I'm not sure I've got insight. But here's a :flow1:for things getting better.

carol2208 10-31-2008 06:42 AM

Hey belleamiee,
That happens to me as well when I start dating someone, actually in the beginning I lose weight, I feed from love I guess..:) But then it´s the damn mindset of "oh well, he likes me as I am, so no need to go strict on the dieting, I can go slowly" and then that turns into not dieting at all... To prevent that from happening I put current and old (before I lost what I´ve lost so far) pictures of myself in places I have to see every day, so there is no way I can do the "pretend I´m not fat game" and remember all the hard work I´ve done and don´t want it to go in vain... the first couple of weeks are always hard, but then it pays off when I feel happy for taking care of myself

On my side, I have so much going on in my life that I just don´t want any more drama, so I´m trying to stay away from men, my life would be a very entertaining mexican like soap opera... and ok, not staying away from all men, I have a friend with benefits kind of relationship, but that´s been going on for way too long, and it´s getting to the point where the physical part is getting dull, so I think it´s time to end that as well... so much for not wanting drama, I´m horrible at breaking up with people, I have a block ... I just really suck at it, specially when it´s something like this where I feel there´s nothing to break-up from, but he seems to think otherwise.

And then there´s this man I have been in love with for what seems forever, he clearly doesn´t want anything with me, even got a girlfriend since the last time we were together, but he just won´t let me go... he won´t stop writing once in a while, or calling... I ignore it, but it´s like he can smell it, everytime I´m very close to putting everything behind once and for all, he finds a way to srew me up...
But I´m trying to not let all this affect my weight loss, I slipped for a little while but I´m back on track now, all that is left is going back to exercising, I´ve been leaving the office every day after midnight, but next week it should be better and I´ll definately start running again... I really miss it !

How are you guys doing ?
I hope all is well !
Have a great weekend !!

ViolinJenn 11-03-2008 09:12 PM

Belleamiee! :wave:

It's good to hear from you!!! Don't give up on having a healthy lifestyle!!!
Tell us about the guy!;)

Let's see it's gotten interesting for me lately.

Work- Well I was given an opprotunity that I could not refuse. I was transfered from one of the A/P dept. to General Accounting!:dancer: It's no extra $$ now, but the work experience is priceless! I'm officially out of the "daily operational/entry level gettin no respect" dept.:carrot::carrot: It's gonna be good too because it falls in line with what I'm going to school for, so I'll be able to apply school to work and vice versa! I start on the 17th! It's funny though because it's bringing out the green eye'd monster in people. People outside of my dept are happy for me, my dept welll...not so much. One person is, one said to me "I wouldn't want that position!" I thought to myself good cause they didn't ask you! I've been there 2 1/2 years they've been there 7plus years. Jealous Jealous!!

Other Stuff-Well one of the guys I met on Match, I've started IM'ing with again. It's not the lousy player Chemist though. This guy seems..just nice. We have a lot in common, both love workingout, both have lost weight, love music etc. He knows that I'm in school and it's a rough transition. He knows that I love it and would never give it up too! He's suggested that sometime down the road, we should meet up and go out. I said I'd like that. I enjoy talking to him. We talk about everything and yet at times nothing. He's not pushing for anything, he just seems to be there. I like that we can IM and get to know each other. If all it ends up as I have new friend that I can talk too great! You can never have enough of those!
Other than that, school is great, I've made some nice new friends. It's nice being able to talk to others who don't act like immature HS students at 40+(caugh caugh....my current-co-workers) I didn't do so well on my second test...I got a 77!:( Thankfully though I have one more before finals to try and pull it up. I can only do so much.

I haven't lost much weight, it's been hard to get to the gym. I only go 2days a week and I bought the work out videos Turbo Jam and I'll do those on Wednsdays or weekends. But I keep to a healthy diet. I have decided that I'm just fine with myself as I am. I love me at the weight I am. I do however want to lose no more than another 10lbs. I want to settle into a comfortable size 10. I can live with having a body that has fat, because I can't afford plastic surgury to remove excess skin. I can live with it, because I know where I was and I'll never be there again.

Good to hear from you ladies!!!:hug::hug:

ViolinJenn 11-16-2008 05:31 PM

Well aren't I a thread killer!:(:(

Smiling_Sara 11-20-2008 09:00 PM


Originally Posted by ViolinJenn (Post 2455631)
Well aren't I a thread killer!:(:(

nah, I hope the new guy works out.....I can't wait to read this entire thread. I am gonna turn 30 in a couple weeks have always been the single girl. I look forward to reading and chatting with you all!!

ViolinJenn 11-23-2008 09:54 PM

Well the new guy isn't working out. It appears he has a problem with the fact that I keep busy and he has no life. His life is work, the gym 2x's a day and a once a week choral rehursal. I have work, class 2x's a week, 3hrs a week on a train to get to class in the city(45min each way), homework, in the gym 3 days a week, laundry, house cleaning, and trying to keep up with friends when I can. So basicly he has no life other than work and sitting in front of a computer and I keep busy by any means. I'm finding my pace right about now(just in time for classes to wind up) and if I meet someone and we connect, click and spark great, but if a guy is gonna be with me he needs to keep up. I'm not going to be his source of entertainment or a life. Try new hobbies take a class regarding a new or current interest.

Men don't like girls that are needy and dependant on them, well...I don't like guys who are dependent and needy. While both of us should have our own interests outside of each other, we should also be able to share interests to spend time together and learn from each other. Sheesh is that to much to ask!

So I'm going to just do my thing, school, work, gym, internet friends, etc. I like to think that if you keep busy like this, follow your interests when you are not looking, have no time and no idea it's happening, we'll all run into the most fabulous men that are just perfect for each of us!

Thanks for listening to my rant.:hug:

SOOOO!! How's everyone?

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!:happ3::turkey:

Ufi 11-27-2008 04:30 PM

Hey, here's a shout out to all the single chicks on Thanksgiving! Hope you're enjoying the holiday.

I'm hosting Thanksgiving orphans this year. Turkey smell throughout the house.

Sisi 12-01-2008 01:49 PM

I'm new to the site and thought I'd introduce myself. 30 and as of yet unmarried but dating. My boyfriend and I pledged to each other that we would increase our exercise and decrease our eating out time. So far we're still trying to get things right but its nice to have the support system. The only problem is that we are also enablers for bad habits, but we recognize that and are slowly getting better. I cook for him as he can't cook and its nice to have him around b/c I call him several times a week just to take a walk. Usually he complains but I get him going with a lot of nagging :-) We also now belong to the same gym. He goes after work and I go before but he's promising to try and get up earlier to go with me!
I cannot work out after working all day. My body just never agrees with me after sitting at my desk all day. Its amazing how much easier it is to go to the gym at 6am versus 6pm... once I'm out of bed of course!

I'm also reorganizing my living space to make room for exercise but also b/c I know that the clutter and disorganization make even going to the gym a difficult endeavor. When i'm disorganized and have to look for htings or have a messy apartment waiting for me at home I have a hard time getting motivated to do anything! Plus its much easier to cook healthy in an organized kitchen!
I have found that weight loss is more than eating well and exercising. It involves a full life makeover.
Anyways, that's the start of my journey. I hope it isn't a false start like the ones I've had before. I have the modest goal of 180 pounds. I know that the charts and BMI calculators would say that that's still overweight but I figure once I get to 180 I will be much healthier and happier and will try to lose more but for now losing 85 pounds sounds like a formidable enough challenge!

Ufi 12-01-2008 02:43 PM

Hi! Welcome.

I find that getting up and taking a bit of a stretch or walk (to the bathroom or for a drink of water or something) has really helped my body withstand desk days.

erricah 12-03-2008 03:22 PM


I am Errica and I am have been off and on this site since 2000. I am single but with children. I don't do alot of going out, but I DO GET OUT. I am so glad that someone started a Single 30 something support group but I do not have a DH/fiance/or steady boyfriend to talk about on any of the threads.

Ufi 12-03-2008 05:01 PM

Yeah, people seem to talk a lot about their significant others, don't they? And we're sort of left going uh.....

grneyedmustang 12-03-2008 09:45 PM

:wave: I'm a single thirty something! I'm 31, actually. No children, never been married. And no significant other, not even a prospect. But I have a great set of friends though, who keep me sane when the "I'm tired of being alone" bug sets in.

ViolinJenn 12-07-2008 09:46 PM

Welcome Sisi, Erricah and grneyedmustang!:welcome3::welcome3::wel3fc:

It's wonderfull to meet you all! I'll be taking a leave of absense from the board while I study for my final exam!

Keep the thread alive!

Keep up the gread work! :lifter::lifter::exercise::running:

grneyedmustang 12-20-2008 01:17 AM


Originally Posted by ViolinJenn (Post 2485832)
Welcome Sisi, Erricah and grneyedmustang!:welcome3::welcome3::wel3fc:

It's wonderfull to meet you all! I'll be taking a leave of absense from the board while I study for my final exam!

Keep the thread alive!

Keep up the gread work! :lifter::lifter::exercise::running:

Good luck with your final exam. You can do it!!! :carrot:

Ufi 12-21-2008 04:59 PM

Been feeling bummed lately with the holidays and people making family plans. Any other single chicks dealing with that?

Violin Jenn 12-21-2008 06:23 PM

:hug:Sorry the holiday's are bumming you out Ufi!:hug:

First off, I'm the same ViolinJenn as before but had to re register.:(:(

If it makes you feel better, this is the most difficult time of year for me. I have SAD( Seasonal Affective Disorder) and Christmas is the worst time of year for me with that, my ob/gym dianosed me with PMDD as well and I've only been on new meds for that one week and I don't have a lot of friends. It seems that going back to school was a selfish move on my part and few understand the time demands while I find my stride.

BUT! There are a number of positive things! Like....

1. Having more $$ to treat yourself to some cool jewlery or something...(LOL..Um I bought myself a long necklace, cute earrings at the Mall yesterday both for $30! And this am I bought a cute ring on QVC...sterling silver with an opal stone and the sides of the ring have black zebra strips! And a cute brown plaid skrit that was on clearance at Target.com...
Okay I went slightly overboard!:D

2. Less stress of what to buy others...

3. THe gym is less crowded!:woops::ebike: :lifter: So yay to not having to wait for equipment and LOVIN the endorphins!!

4. Time to relax

But I understand what you're getting at. Hearing others discussing the fun times ahead of meeting up and hanging out with friends and family. It does get to me, but try to make the decision to be optimistic about things. They are also likely EXTREMELY stressed out! I'm not!

BTW...Ladies! I just got an email from my instruction this morning regarding my final exam grade and my final grade for the class....

On the exam I got an 86.5%!!!!!!!!:carrot::carrot: (which is much better than I expected. I thought I was gonna fail out and only be quaified for pan handling!) And for my final grade for the class(algebra)....I got a B!

WHOOO HOOO!!! I needed the confidence since I haven't done algebra in 15years and this is my first semester of college in 13years. So next semester is ...Pre-Calculus for Business!!!! I feel confident that I can get good grades!!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday's and Have a safe New Year Ladies! My brother and I are leaving 5am Tuesday to visit our parents and older sister in Florida!:elf::present::newyear::xcheer:

See you in the New Year!

grneyedmustang 12-22-2008 01:46 PM

ViolinJenn, congrats on the good grade! Hopefully you've got some time to relax before the Pre Cal kicks in. And I'm jealous because you're going to Florida.

Ufi, hang in there, and know that you're not alone! Some of my friends are sensitive to my plight and try not to "rub it in my face" that they're not alone, but there are the few who seem to relish in it. I usually just limit the time I spend with them so I don't start with the "holiday singles blahs".

Happy Holidays to everyone and know that you've got us if you start feeling down... :hug:

Ufi 12-24-2008 11:56 PM

The time between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day is the worst part of the year for me. I think I've probably got some SAD, too. Thanks for the support, and I hope everyone finds some holiday joy.

AlliMari 12-28-2008 01:30 AM

Hi, I'm new here! I'm so happy to have found this thread! I'm single...and happy. For me, I would some day like to get married and pop out a baby or two one day. I've only recently felt that I'm ready for such a thing. Right now, I'm just dating. I haven't had a serious relationship in about a year. Anyway, everyone here seems pretty cool. I don't know if we share goals here, but I'd like to. I'm currently at 155 and would like to lose about 30 pounds...feel healthier and get into a healthier routine. I never work out. It's totally terrible. I'd like to get going the first of the year. I tend to let my job and whatever else get in the way of my doing so. I don't even bring lunch to work. I eat out almost everyday. This really has to stop. Since, I have no family to cook for, I really don't cook at home either.

Well, I guess that's all. Glad to meet you all!


martinigal 01-05-2009 04:29 PM

Happy New Year
Hey Ladies-
I was excited to see a single 30 somethings group on here. I've been struggling with my weight since forever and am trying to win the battle this year!! I'm looking forward to getting to know you all!

Ufi 01-05-2009 11:59 PM

Hi, and welcome! How long have you been single?

Violin Jenn 01-10-2009 07:12 PM

Hi ladies!:wave:

I'm in need of some advice and honest opinions. My new job is not going so well. Back in the middle of November I was given a transfer from a division of Accounts Payable to General Accounting. Since then, it's been a learning experience I've loved. I enjoy the work and even though I am still working on my undergraduate degree, I can do the job and excel at it. The first month end close was difficult because I had this list of duties and no idea what I was looking at or what to do or whom to ask about it. No one has spent any time with me. I was just dumped into the job and they assumed I knew it all, when in fact it was like walking into a new company.

This part is where I need the advice and opinions. You see this past week was part of a week and half to two week month end close process. My boss wants General Accounting to close in 7 days. For me and everyone else that means for that 1 1/2 to 2 weeks every month we have to expect to work 10-12hours a day. That include includes working through lunch and coming in early. For me, I feel those hours come with being a manager, doctor, lawyer or CPA at H&R Block in April. Those hours are now the new Month End normal expectations. Those hours are SERIOUSLY impacting my ability to be healthy. To workout regularly does not happen because I won't get home until 8pm or so straight from work. Eating healthily is difficult because the stress causes me to not want to eat....anything at all, but I know that is not healthy either and coming home so late I don’t want to eat anyway. Normal hours are 8:30am to 5:30pm. While I do love the job, I believe in balance and not letting a job, working out, or a diet dominate my life. There is more to life than work.

I’ve updated my resume and I feel that I can find a job in this economy that will allow me to work 8hours a day with minimal overtime, go to school, workout and have a balanced life. I fear that if I stay at this job I’ll remain single (as I don’t even have the energy during the close to do online dating) and do poorly in school.

I feel that treating us this way, is simply treating us as expendable equiptment not human beings. As I’ve mentioned I’ve updated my resume and am going to look for a new job full force. Hopefully I’ll find a company that will help with college tuition, pay a decent salary with minimal overtime so I can work out regularly again.

Thoughts on the way my boss is treating us are welcome and thoughts on how I can stay healthy during those long hours would be greatly appreciated.

PS-With these hours I'll be single forever!

Naia 02-10-2009 08:41 PM

Hi Jenn!

Has anything happened with your job?

I think while working those hours once in a while would be fine, that working them 2 weeks out of every month just is too much. Well, unless suitably compensated, but even then, for me, it wouldn't be enough. I need a balance in my life.

Could you ask to be transferred to a different department? Or continue to look for a different job while you work there?

It seems that job expectations of overtime have risen. Everywhere I see them laying off people, but not changing the work load. Several of my friends are working in departments that used to be 10-12 people, and now are 3 to 4. They're just expected to work overtime to get things done. It's not really fair. I guess in this economy employers feel like they have the upper hand. It's gotten really hard to find jobs here in California, so people are just sticking with what they have.

As for keeping healthy with those hours --- I have that same trouble myself whenever I have to work too much. Exercise seems to be the first thing to go.

Could you bring food to work, and eat dinner there, so that when you get off work you could go directly to working out for even a short 20-30 minutes before going home? Or do a video or something before work? That way it's done and out of the way. Sometimes I have good luck with bringing lots of snacks and just grazing at the desk on healthy things all day. It keeps my calories from going too low. And some frozen entrees for lunch - not the best, but easy if you have a microwave & fridge at work.

I agree, with those hours it's hard to find time to have a life! I hope something else turns up for you!

Ufi 02-12-2009 09:27 PM

Hey, singles! What does your Valentine to YOURSELF say? Are you doing anything special for yourself for Valentine's Day?

I'm having a party for singles. I'm thinking about getting myself flowers or something.

grneyedmustang 02-13-2009 12:42 PM


Originally Posted by Ufi (Post 2610130)
Hey, singles! What does your Valentine to YOURSELF say? Are you doing anything special for yourself for Valentine's Day?

I'm having a party for singles. I'm thinking about getting myself flowers or something.

Hi Ufi!!! I went to Bath and Body works and stocked up on sale stuff. I bought a little bit of Godiva chocolate. Those are my Valentine's Day gifts to myself. I usually end up doing that every year because in the 31 years I've been on this earth, I can count the number of times I've had a Valentine on one hand. People are always telling me "its a commercial holiday so why do you even care?" - but it would be nice to have a guy treat me to dinner and flowers for once.

My friend and I are having our anti Singles Awareness Day party on Saturday. We're going to listen to old music, have a nice dinner/wine, and laugh.

Notice that the abbreviation for Singles Awareness Day is SAD?

Naia 02-13-2009 02:22 PM

I'll probably get flowers for the table, just because it's a good excuse for flowers! And maybe spend the day reading, as a treat for myself :-)

I try not to let myself dwell on it too much, or I'll end up feeling depressed. Most valentine's I've been alone, but the past 4 I've been with my non-committing (now-ex) boyfriend. We broke up for good last Nov, just in time for all the holidays! yay, me! :D

Ufi 02-13-2009 08:22 PM

Yep, I've had a Valentine only a few years of my life. Commercial holiday or not, it's difficult to not be included in a holiday so many people celebrate.

Boy, in the past I've bought myself boxes of chocolates and then consumed them all at one sitting, I was so depressed. Talk about response to social pressure! I'm glad I'm getting over the idea that I'm not OK if I'm not coupled. I'm actually feeling pretty good about going in to Valentine's Day. I can buy my own flowers and not have to deal with the inattentive fellow forgetting or the backhanded remarks or stuff like that. I'm really not that unusual, being single.

Triden77 02-15-2009 09:33 PM

Wow. Im so glad I stumbled over this thread. Im new to the site in general but this thread is a God-send. Im 31 and am not married and do not have children. It's rough being the only one of your friends NOT in a committed relationship or married and it wreaks havoc on your self-esteem. Not to mention sometimes sabotages your weight loss plans!
Anyway, just wanted to say "hello" to everyone!

Ufi 02-17-2009 11:39 PM

Hello, back!

Naia 02-24-2009 07:15 AM

Hello and welcome!! I just turned 37, and my baby sister (28) found out she's pregnant. Now I'm the last one in the family who's not married with kids. My mom keeps trying to set me up.

If I was living in the 1800's (or even 1900's) I'd be the old maiden aunt! I even take care of my grandfather! So I guess I'm glad I live in 2009, where I might get pressured, but at least I'm not an old maid!

grneyedmustang 02-24-2009 10:04 AM

Hello, Triden! I'm a bit late, but I know totally how you feel...anyway, think of it this way...

we can do what we want, when we want to...
we don't have to share the bed or the remote...

I'm sure I could think of an entire list of the "we don't have to's" for the single 30 somethings!

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