IG: Huzzah! Congratulations You'll have to post pictures in your dress when things are all settled and back to normal.
I'm waaaay behind and about to just go to bed...I severely messed up my right hand falling off of my bike on ice last Thursday and everything has been pain and inconvenience since then...needless to say, my diet's not going well since I can't hold a knife or cook, and I can't really do much in the way of exercise without the use of my dominant hand. I've been getting in a lot of steps since I ended up leaving my bike at school when I was being rushed to the hospital with a suspected break in my wrist, but I've also been forgetting to wear my tracker >.< FITBIT, Y U NO REMIND ME TO TAKE YOU OFF OF MY PANTS AT THE END OF THE DAY? *Sigh*
Generally in a bit of a funk. I just want to be home, but I still have almost a full 10 weeks before then...on the plus side, my boyfriend is very eagerly trying to make preparations so that we can move in together when I get back <3 Things can't be 100% certain until I manage to find a job, the it's a nice thought that's helping me to keep from wanting to kill myself anyway. I'm seriously going to need a therapist after this year...
namaste: lol, well i guess i'm glad i don't have a family like that... lol. congrats on your weightloss over the weekend! that's awesome!
icon: congrats! what are you doing posting here??? lol. go enjoy yourself! lol
hotaru: oh noes!! but girl... what were you DOING trying to bike on the ice?!? i swear i see people trying to do that here and i'm thinking "you guys are CRAZIES!! if you fall, you deserve it!" lol. well though not you... cuz i like you... just these faceless randoms... lol. bikes are not made for winter!! but seriously though, i'm really sorry you got hurt and i hope you bounce back from it soon! ganbatte!!
eh. i don't have much to report, other than my scale is still refusing to show me the numbers it did last week... so i moved my ticker back up i've been a little trooper doing my 30DS everyday... just about to start level 3 now!
i guess the only cool thing that i wanted to share with you guys is that i finally got around to doing this
you can tell i live in japan just from the cutseyness of the stickers, eh?
(Sleep didn't happen...taking my pain meds again and trying in a little bit)
Kawaii: Mostly I was trying to avoid getting hit by a truck...I was on the way to school, cautiously skirting the patches of ice and going slowly in case there was black ice that I wasn't seeing and a high school kid behind me got pissed off at how slowly I was going and rode out on the wrong side of a really narrow road. A truck coming around the corner saw him first and came completely onto my side of the road to avoid him, so it was take my chances with the ice or take my chances against a box truck. Clearly I chose wrong. The teachers were very impressed with me when they realized I'd continued biking to school with a torn, bloody knee and an immobile hand and wrist (steering was interesting, but I think I was in shock and my brain flew into "Accomplish objective: get to work on time" mode) and one assured me that I probably could have taken the truck out if I tried.
The jars are adorable...yay ridiculously cutesy Japan. There's no use in me making something breakable before I'm loading things into a suitcase to take on a plane, but I may need to go to Daiso for some ohajiki and puffy stickers to make a set of those when I get back...that's a great idea. Good job with the 30DS!
I am feeling like poop. Last night I had a gallbladder attack. My mom, who is a surgical nurse and helps with atleast one of these a day has pushed the idea long enough for me to realize, I am going to need surgery. Or I atleast need to get an ultrasound. blah! But if it stops the pain, then I guess it's worth it.
I moved into my mom's or some of my stuff at least. I'll be here 4 days a week and 3 days at my dad's, cause he is closer to school, but I can't stand living with my step siblings all week.
I checked my weigh 3 times today. It was crazy. The first time I checked it was 222. And I was like what the ****, but my scale was on carpet and so I put card board underneath so it was 225 and so I experimented, I took it to the kitchen to see if it would register from far away and it gave me 227. I think that absolutely nuts. But that could be right though? It's a hard flooring... I just feel so weird. Defintly not marking it on my ticker until tomorrow. just in case. I've already got my hopes up though!
Hey everyone. So... I needed to get something off my chest today. I told my boyfriend that I wasn't over my last relationship. Now he's hurt, and I can't stop crying. He asked me if I wanted to stay together. I told him I wanted to try, but I don't know if it's because I don't want to hurt him or if it's because I don't want to be single and lonely without a friend to my name. Well other than you guys but you are all so far away. I think this is something that was holding me back in so many ways in the past couple months.
I do not at all want to drag him along. but I don't know if I can love him. He told me he loves me and I have known for a while but I can't say that I love him. I just don't feel it. And we have been together since September. Shouldn't I know by now? And that should tell me what I need to do. I do not want to break his heart. But if I don't know, doesn't he deserve to know now and not a year from now?
hotaru: well... i hope you're feeling better by now! hugs. lol, of course making jars like that would be silly before you go... though i don't think it's a given that they have to be glass... could be plastic too. and doesn't have to be glass beads inside... anything countable that's cheap enough to buy a lot of! lol.
bea: well... since september isn't that long. it's possible that things could change as they go... but if you're pretty sure you don't love him... it's a pretty sucky situation. i think he deserves to know. personally, i am in a similar situation but on the reverse. but my bf is a freakin chicken and won't make up his mind. so he keeps stringing me along and i just go with it because i love him too much. sometimes i wish he would just break up with me because it would hurt less. but i can't break up with him. i've tried and i was miserable. so you're gonna have to think really hard about this. this guy you're with, he's probably like me. he loves you so much he doesn't care that you only love him with half your heart. but yeah, you need to be honest with yourself. good luck!
well, as for me, things are just going slow. weight is refusing to budge still which is making me very cranky, but as you may have seen on the other thread, apparently i gained a sh*tload of muscles so i guess it evens out. lol. (a machine at the gym told me). oh and yeah, i went to the gym for the first time in 2 weeks yesterday. haha. small victory. i had still been doing 30DS everyday, but had gotten lazy on the gym. hopefully, if i start going regularly again, my weight will drop.
i actually don't have work this week, except i have to show up to school this afternoon for my english club, and then i only have one class tomorrow morning and that's it. lol. hard week. so things have been pretty chill
geeknote: my copy of "Memory of Light" (Last wheel of time book!!!) finally arrive and i have been spending a lot of my free time reading that
Who's got two thumbs and an amazing technicolor kneecap? THIS GUY. It's amazing how much one part being in pain can make you ignore other ouchies...I was shaving my legs in the shower last night and realized that I had a bruise spreading from lower thigh to upper shin in every color of the rainbow. It hadn't been bothering me up until that point, but it proceeded to ache through the night and most of the day. Stupid brain...Y U NO CONTINUE TO IGNORE IT?! Today was a rough day in general, though...I was at my worst-disciplined school, and about a third of the staff room is out with the flu...meaning that tea ladies and gym teachers are in class instead of the normal homeroom teachers, so the students don't even bother pretending to listen and pay attention. That goes double for the 6th graders, who have already put themselves in the mindset of "F-this, I'm close enough to being in middle school to not give a s***." Two of five classes had me on the verge of tears. It's not even 9 pm and I'm considering just going to bed so that the day will be over.
Bea: Having never been in that situation, all I have to offer are hugs. September really isn't that long of a time. I've only said you-know-what to 2 guys, both after almost a year (and both times I was stupidly mistaken...my current hasn't heard it yet, though it's heavily implied pretty constantly). I was pretty sure that my boyfriend was going to dump me before he left for basic training last March...we'd only been going out for about 5 months and I didn't think he'd want a long-distance relationship, particularly since he'd expressed a dislike for the idea in the past...then in like the last 2 weeks before he left, he introduced me to his entire family. I'll take things that throw Rachel into a state of panic and confusion for $1000, Alex. Anyway, the point is that relationships don't generally go according to a specific timeline. I can see why you're unsure, because honestly I'd say that the L word (not lesbians... sorry, I couldn't help myself. I'm a nerd.) after only a few months is jumping the gun a bit, and any time it's said, the other person feels pressured to reciprocate. If it's true for him, kudos to him for saying it, but people are different. I don't think it's uncommon for people to be at different stages in a relationship (Re: "OhshitohshitI'mgettingdumped..." "Hey, my mom wants to meet you. Dinner Saturday?"). If it's meant to be, you'll keep open communication and work it out.
Kawaii: Go you! More muscle=more calories burned by doing nothing, so I'm sure the scale will stop being such a buttmunch and cooperate soon. I think I'm going to stick to the stickers and ohajiki for now just because jars are bulky and would take up extra space in my suitcases/boxes going home. I think that I'm going to go on a break through March anyway since I'm going to be running around with my hair on fire trying to finish the required classwork/give end of year exams/get crap in order for my successor/plan the move home. I doubt that I'll make that much of a difference in February, and since I'm scaleless anyway, I couldn't really move the stones often...the onsen is far away and it's cold and windy when I try to ride my bike there >.<
As for "Wheel of Time," that's been on my need to read list for ages, but I've never gotten around to it. Right now I'm about halfway through A Clash of Kings (Song of Ice and Fire) with Dune and World War Z on deck for when I finish. You'd think that I'd read more with all the free time I have on my hands after school, but I end up clinging to the internet like a security blanket because I'm lonely and it feels like the only link to the outside world.
Thanks Kawaii and Hotchuran.: I ended up texting him, because I am a coward and would chicken out about it if I had called. He said he wanted to keep going because he loves me. And I guess the idea just baffles me. I think in all honesty, I'm the first "stable" gf, as in I won't lie about being pregnant, I have my own means of money so I'm not waiting for him to buy me crap. So, we are going to continue, but he also said, if at some point I know I don't want to be in the relationship, I need to tell him like right then, because he doesn't want to be strung along. I think once he starts school, he will have less time on his hands, making him a little less on the needy side, it will be better. Thanks guys : )
Hotaruchan: Is that an injury from the accident?
I was all prepared to go workout yesterday but then I dropped that bomb on my bf and so like 3hours went down the drain. blah. Oh well. I bought a groupon for 10 Zumba classes for $15. I'll start those next week! I'm really excited!
beahawkins - I dropped the L bomb like 3 months into my relationship. It took him a solid year. My husband and I have been together for 9 years. Sometimes it takes longer for some people than others. As long as you're both having fun just enjoy the ride! Life is short.
OK! Fattitude! you guys are giving me so many reassurances! blah. it has been difficult. Why does all this crap have to be so confusing!? haha it's good to see you around here again!
urgh... i have finally had my first proper slip-up. yesterday when i came home, i was kinda having an argument with one of my good friends over text messaging... basically i haven't seen her in 3 months (good friends, right?) since she started dating this guy and we were finally supposed to hang out and she was like "well i might be late cuz i have to drop smt at his place first and i can't stay late cuz we're going appartment hunting the next morning" and i was just like F*CK! can you not pry yourself away from this guy for 5 seconds?!? i thought our friendship meant something?? anyways, i was really hungry when i came home cuz i was having class when i shoulda had lunch and now it was dinner time, so i had a salad. but after i had to work on this presentation thing, and it was so long and boring and i was still cranky and i kept thinking about the chocolates i had stuffed under my sink from last time the bf bought them, and eventually i thought "well i didn't have a cheat day, so i'll just have a few". which i did, i had a couple, maybe 200 cals or something, i was good. but then, as i said, the presentation was taking soooo long to take form and i just felt like "i wanna eat some carbs!!!" so i ended up making myself TWO tortilla breads with melted cheese inside... i wasn't even hungry for the second one but it was there so i ate it.
calorie-wise, i don't think i ate enough to be worried, but i'm just so disappointed in myself. seriously. what was i thinking. didn't weigh myself this morning cuz i don't wanna be more discouraged! lol.
Hotaru: on your to-read list as in... the whole series??? lol. do you have a whole year set aside? haha (that's how long it took me to re-read the first 11 volumes before the new ones came out...) it's MUCH better than a song of fire and ice though... MUCH better. also, not 95% of the main charachters die
Sorry have not been able to post a reply since a long time. Well, a couple of days back I typed the entire (read : lengthy) post and the stupid browser closed down on me....
Anyways, weight loss has been stagnant since I reached onderland..Work has been hectic as usual....Nothing exciting to report!!
-------- KawaiiCandi - I read in your other thread what a wonderful job you have done with your muscles..you totally deserve that mini treat. BTW, those jars are so cute. Now why can't I think of such innovative stuff ever
beahawkins - That's a tough situation, bea!! But I am sure you will figure it out soon. Just lots of your way till then..
Hotaruchan - That's the weird part of such kind of injury. It doesn't hurt till you are unaware of it. The moment you lay your eyes on it, all the paining and aching starts....as if our eyes have some weird connection with our pain receptors ....hope you feel better
Mind if I hop in here? I've been here a time or two and have had some successes, but have a lot of things motivating me right now and this place has always been good for accountability and encouragement.
I'm Kayla, 25, and live in Michigan with my girlfriend. I hit my highest weight ever in September and was told I was in danger of developing high blood pressure. I've since lost a little over 20 pounds, from 255 to 233. My big goal is to get down to 150. That still puts me in the overweight range, but I don't think I've been that small since I hit puberty! I have lots of motivators planned along the way- a trip to Las Vegas, standing up in a friend's wedding- and am just fed up with being fed up and unhappy with my weight!
My biggest obstacle, besides the self-doubt and tendency to go off plan for a day and then think all is lost- is my grocery budget and creativity when it comes to meals. We've relied a lot on processed food, sadly, and that is one thing that I definitely want and need to work on.
I'm calorie counting and working out at the gym 4 or more times a week, both cardio and weight training. I'm also loosely using Couch to 5K, but taking it slow due to bad knees.
You'll have to post pictures in your dress when things are all settled and back to normal. 
September really isn't that long of a time. I've only said you-know-what to 2 guys, both after almost a year (and both times I was stupidly mistaken...my current hasn't heard it yet, though it's heavily implied pretty constantly). I was pretty sure that my boyfriend was going to dump me before he left for basic training last March...we'd only been going out for about 5 months and I didn't think he'd want a long-distance relationship, particularly since he'd expressed a dislike for the idea in the past...then in like the last 2 weeks before he left, he introduced me to his entire family. I'll take things that throw Rachel into a state of panic and confusion for $1000, Alex. Anyway, the point is that relationships don't generally go according to a specific timeline. I can see why you're unsure, because honestly I'd say that the L word (not lesbians...
sorry, I couldn't help myself. I'm a nerd.) after only a few months is jumping the gun a bit, and any time it's said, the other person feels pressured to reciprocate. If it's true for him, kudos to him for saying it, but people are different. I don't think it's uncommon for people to be at different stages in a relationship (Re: "OhshitohshitI'mgettingdumped..." "Hey, my mom wants to meet you. Dinner Saturday?"). If it's meant to be, you'll keep open communication and work it out. 
But I'm still here!!!
