The snow's throwing me off too, Kawaii...well, more accurately, the freezing rain that it turned into is. I'd just managed to talk myself into starting the c25k program (decided that I should start running since my bf has taken a liking to it since joining the navy and I figured it would be nice to run together), and BAM. Wet, slushy nastiness everywhere. I decided to test it out with a walk anyway and came back after about 15 minutes because apparently my shoes leak like a sieve. I don't especially want slush splashed up my butt either, so biking's out as well. Guess the only thing to do now is to take a hot shower then find a video to do online to avoid thinking about going to the grocery store for hot cocoa mix and marshmallows >.<

It's Monday...

Oh God - it's Monday. How does the weekend fly by so quickly?

SIL's bday was a success! I pre-calculated all of my points and stayed perfectly on plan. To double check I even asked my MIL for the recipe from dinner and plugged it in - I was right on with my guess! Woohoo!

I actually stayed on plan all weekend and used my flex points to keep me there with the bourbon. I added "whiskey" to my WW tracker and it said, "You've added whiskey more than three times. Would you like to make this a favorite?" Wow WW, that is awfully judgey - but yes, go ahead.

The Falcon's had an ugly, stroke inducing win that aged me nearly 30 years, but a win none the less. Oh dear god, it was WAY too close. I blame the Falcon's on me drinking so much bourbon (but still on plan!)

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namaste984 - I love my iphone. I've listened to her podcasts and they are hilarious! I love me some JM! Congrats on your "Aha moment!"

lisa34t - 1 rib is 330 calories?! Dear god! I love BBQ, but it's a total trigger food for me being from the south and all, because then I was potato salad, mac and cheese, collards....

KawaiiCandie - I'm a happy woman with him all dressed up. At his old company they were super laid back and "alternative" so while he was a software developer, he could still wear jeans and a hoodie everyday. Now - not so much. I love Corporate America. LOL. I lived in Vermont for a couple of years, I understand your dislike for snow!

appyfizz - It's very true about the perception of a loss vs. a gain. Mentally you can justify a 2lb gain and be like, "Oh, it's whatever. It's only 2lbs." when you aren't actively trying to lose weight, but when you lose 2lbs it's a game changer.

Hotaruchan - The weather is crazy here, too. It's 75 and raining in Atlanta, which is uncharacteristically warm. It's usually in the 20-30s here. The rain is a total turn off for exercise, I agree.

Kawaii and Hotaru- OMG snow! In Memphis, if they got even a quarter inch of snow, it was like the world was coming to an end. Thankfully in Missouri the system is better, but it takes them awhile to get back to my neighborhood. We had snow and sleet yesterday, and the fuel door of my car froze shut. No joke, I had to brace it with my key and pull it until the switch would open the thing.

SoMuch- Lol @ WW Tracker app. It's always fun when it does something like that. JM is sooo funny and so is that lady who co-hosts her show, I think her name is Janet or Janice? Not sure, either way, I had fun listening to it.

Appy- I have noticed that, and also when you're working out and you grab a 5 or 10 lb weight and you've lost that amount, and you're like, "Wow! That used to be on me!" It was especially so when I was doing "weighted walking" which just meant you did bicep curls or other moves when you were along the track. I got up to carrying 20 lbs with me at one point and it was like that as well.
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Not much to report. Down .6 lbs which I am excited about. Going to hang out with one of my besties today out in the boonies. We haven't seen each other since the last school break and I'm real excited about seeing him. Have a good day all.

Penmage- Thanks for sharing that. I totally know the "not good enough" thing. My parents, especially my mom, dealt with this kind of thing growing up and passed it along to me. Eventually though, I realized that I couldn't blame external circumstances forever, that I had the ability to produce it myself and I didn't need external validation. You don't need a guy to validate your self-esteem. Trust me, it's very easy to get into that pattern. You are good enough on your own and you have gotten through some very distressing things so you must have some faith in yourself. Don't give up, you've got all that you need.

(Also forgive my essay there, lol!)
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I found out yesterday how a stationary bike can be used as a weapon. The phone rang yesterday and I got up in a hurry to answer it. I slipped on one of my school binders and crashed down between the bike and the couch, beating the heck out of my foot on the side of the stationary bike. It's much better today, but I will have to take a break from exercising for a few days. But on the plus side, I lost some weight cause for half the day I couldn't climb the stairs to get to the refrigerator.

Other than that, I'll have a relatively boring day. I have some errands to run and might get my nails redone. You're supposed to get them done every two weeks and I have a gift certificate anyhoo. Then, I am preparing for school next week.

Well the freezing weather has hit Shreveport, and I havent worked out since it came on Sunday. My steps are truly falling on my fir bit account In addition the sacale keeps flip floping from 199-201 GRRRRRRRRRRRRR, it makes me sooo angry!

Well day 3- Saturday- My phone was literally dead almost all day but of what I remember, I had a Ham Sub from subway, dinner- tilapia, brocolli and 1/2 cup rice.

Day 4 & 5 were better. Pics below. The vegetable soup I made was/is YUMMY and filling!!!!!!!!!! Ill tweak the reciepe a bit then share. As you can see I snacked way to much yesterday ( day5)

Somuch- yess 330 but I enjoyed that rib and can still taste the smoked flavor .....yummmmmmmm

penmage- Keep up the good work, and I would suggest finding a hobby or a cause that your passionate about to kinda of relieve yourself from all the stress and negative thoughts. Believe me regardless of shape or size their is someone out there for you.

namaste- Ouch! I hope you have a speedy recovery!

hotaru: yeah, snow and shoes don't mix i have boots but they're not proper winter boots so my toes are still freexing! yesterday there was still snow and ice everywhere... i hope it's gone today!!!

SMF: congrats on staying on plan all weekend and for that party! that's huge!

namaste: yeah, it was like that here too. the trains stopped ffs!!! lol. congrats on your little loss!! and yay nails!! not so yay on the accident though.... take care of yourself, girl!!

penmage: you are definitely not alone. i think every fat girl out there experiences something of the sort at one point or another. we think we're not good enough so we settle for jerks or less than we deserve. i'm currently reading (on and off. my mom forced me, lol) "women who love too much" and it's kind of an eye opener... i'm hoping that by the end of it there are gonna be tips on how to avoid those types of relationship!!! hang in there. you are worth it!!

lisa: aww.... i'm sure the scale will settle for you soon! and then you'll be in onederland! hang in there!!

hey guys!!

oh man... why does work start so early? nobody should have to wake up at 6am ever... -_- plus i feel really gross cuz yesterday, i had my cheat day (though it was more of a cheat meal really, since i ate very little all day) cuz my bf and i were going to this indian curry place that we love... so anyways, we went to eat curry and $&)$#@! delicious nan and i could eat only about half before i got soooo full but it was so delicious i kinda ate past the point of fullness. and then i was like in "well it's my cheat day so i wanna eat sweets"! so we went to the import store to buy wine and they were selling boxes of truffles so we bought some and that was probably my undoing... i think i ate about 8-10... lol. but the thing is that i felt so gross after. even this morning i still feel kinda yuck. also i couldn't work out yesterday cuz bf was here and then i was too dead when he left... so yeah. it's weird cuz i don't usually feel bad about cheat days since they are planned, but meh.

tonight i'm meeting a friend for dinner and shopping so i'll have little time for working out too and i'm worried about what i'm gonna eat... wish me luck!! and definitely am not stepping on the scale for a couple of days! lol.

oh and little nsv, yesterday at work, one of the teachers told me she noticed that i'd lost weight. ^_^ finally!! lol.

Hey everyone! I feel like the world is spinning a little too fast the last few weeks. School is making me crazy and I am moving in with my mom tomorrow, or at least taking half of my stuff over there. This way when I come to my dad's on my school days, I'll have clothes and other things. I feel like a child going between parents. Ugh! But I do not plan to move this size clothing again. Next year, I'll be in at least my goal size, I honestly don't know if I would be comfortable going lower than a 12, but we will see!

As of today I have lost my holiday weight and I am back on target for my goals. I hope to lose another 22 pounds in the next 2 months. As a push, I boxed up all of my nail polish, except a clear because I have the thinnest nails ever and if I look at them too hard they fall off, so when I hit 213 I'll get them back! I am very excited. And I wish it would just hurry already! 22 pounds is kind of daunting.

On a horrible note. Tuesday I was at the gym and I used the digital scale and someone was waiting to use it behind me. It was a guy and a girl. I guess my weight didn't vanish before they saw it. The girl gasped and said OH My God 238! I was horrified. I know I am fat, but I don't really look as heavy as I am. Maybe I was raised differently than she was, but I know you aren't supposed to say the numbers out loud.
Besides, I know I am gorgeous, I don't need her acceptance. It just makes me mad that because she is 130 pounds, she thinks she is better than me. I only say that, because the look they both gave me as I was walking away. Made me feel like scum.

Ok, well I am up 3 hours early. My wonderful little brother decided it was a good morning to tap dance or something over my bedroom and my stepmom didn't stop him. I have never, ever wanted to strangle a child more than today. So, I guess I will fill this time up to do homework, because god knows I couldn't try to sleep again.

Day 6 Pic below- yes thats all I ate, not intentionally. I felt like crap yesterday. Came home straight from work and slept from 530pm to 500am. Thankfully my son was with my gma. I needed the rest and wasnt going to be able to keep up with a 10month old. Felt much better and hit the gym this morning and going again after work. I will do my grocery shopping as well today since my son is still gone. Thats all for me ...

bea- HOW RUDE!!!!!!! I so would said uhmmm "EXCUSE YOU" Dont let ignorant people get to you, that clearly wasnt raised with good mannes such as you and me

** kinda rushed , may be some typos

Bea- That sucks about the weigh-in. People are jerks... don't take it personally. I agree with Lisa, someone didn't raise them right. I feel you on the stomping on the ceiling... I live in the basement of my house and sometimes it sounds like the Broadway revival of Stomp is going on upstairs, between my sister and my cat, who runs like its going out of fashion.

Kawaii- Nice NSV, and great job getting back OP.

Lisa- I feel ya! I've been stuck between 227 and 231 all month, and I'm still hoping for a substantial loss. Thankfully though, I'll be back in the gym by next Monday.

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My foot is MUCH better now. It took about two to three days to heal and then I was back to my usual routine.

I am going out of town this weekend, to see my cousin's daughter in Homecoming and see my relatives. I am glad I don't have to drive this time, but I know I will have to keep tabs on my diet. My mom and dad really spoil my grandpa when it comes to food, and of course we're all in on the spoils as well. Still, I am bringing my exercise DVDs and might take a walk around the farm if the weather has let up.

Also, I am going to Whole Foods Market to get some produce and other food, or just shop around for stuff. I love their vegan cosmetics, I am not full vegan anymore (but working on it!) but I love to buy vegan and cruelty-free whenever I can. Plus, Whole Foods has the most amazing shampoos and lotions ever!

Headed out for now. Have an awesome evening all.

namaste984 - good luck on that foot!! it will heat in no time and you will be back on plan....

lisa34t - Day 6, eh? That's almost a week now. You doing pretty good.
I can't see the pic you posted, though

beahawkins - That was so uncivilized of her!! You should have given her a piece of your mind. Forget the idiots and just concentrate on your work out!!

KawaiiCandie - Watched "The impossible". Was planning to see it since ages, finally!!
And getting up early sucks big time!! Even I have to wake up at 6 and hit the gym before going to work!! Then, I am sleepy for the rest of the day, especially noon. Hopefully will get used to it!!

Penmage - Never, NEVER blame yourself. You are 100, 1000, 10000 times better than them. Who wants jerks like those in our life anyways?? You will find a Mr. Right who deserves you.

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It has been a verrryyyyyy hectic and long week!! had lots and lots and lots of work. Still piled up and one more day to go (yes, have leave only on Sundays). Plus, forgot to take my Birth control pills for just a couple of days, and got my periods already on day 9th on the pill!! And it's so heavy, that I am literally pissing blood ..... sorry for the gross description.

On a happier note, I am down to 201 lbs..yipee!!!!!

OOOP, I didnt attach the pic for day 6. Well here is 6 & 7. The crawfish are a pic from online....I was tooo excited to get them, I forgot all the pic. Day 6 is just the popcorn. The drinks I consumed on both days was water.

Yesterday a hit a Fitbit high...30,000 steps! My legs ached last night. Well not more for today, I have soem bell peppers that are going bad so I will be have stuffed bell peppers and cabbage tonight for dinner.

Happy Friday!

Well im not sure whats up with the uploaded....ill try day 7 later or tomorrow

okay guys, so i'm really cranky today... i'll just have my little rant now and come back later for personals

scale is showing me 79.4kg again. it has been showing that to me for the last 3 mornings, since my cheat meal on tuesday night. but on monday and tuesday morning i saw 78.2kg. twice! so that wasn't a fluke, was it?? and now, you're gonna tell me that one cheat meal, made me gain back almost 3 whole pounds?! usually, when i have a cheat day, weight goes up a bit after (water weight) and then goes back down in a few days to keep on dropping past the point where it was before. now it's just staying waaaay back up there, and i feel like i should probably move my ticker back up, cuz really, i'm not 173, i'm 175. it also makes me feel so depressed cuz i don't think i'll reach my v-day goal of 170 at this point.

this sucks. i'm not thinking of giving up but i'm like, i'm working so hard, i'm doing my workouts and i'm eating healthy. i wouldn't mind a plateau so much if i was plateauing at the lowest number i'd seen, but i'm stalling at a higher weight than i'm supposed to be! meh.

on top of it, i had reaaaally intense nightmares last night! i woke up from one around 6am this morning and my heart was pounding and i could remember all of it, then i managed to go back to sleep, only to wake up from another nightmare at 9:30! wtf?! i also don't understand why i would even have nightmares in the first place cuz i didn't eat before bed, but not only that, i did yoga before bed! so i shoulda been all loose and relaxed and all that... wtf?!?!

anyways, end rant

Kawaii-

ok, i feel better now. and penmage, you made my day

bea: good luck with the move!! aww... that girl at the gym was just dumb. that's really rude... don't let it ruin your day! i hate it when people judge fat people at the gym... it's like "WHY DO YOU THINK WE'RE HERE?!?" but whatever... you're doing good!

lisa: you're really a trooper with that exercise!! well done on sticking to it even though you were tired!

namaste: glad to hear you're doing better, and good luck over the weekend! just remember, even if they put that food in front of you, you don't have to eat it! (i know it's hard...) and keep up with those workout dvds! you should be fine

appyfizz: oh i haven't heard about that movie... we get american movies super late in japan, when we even get them at all, so... lol. congrats on the loss! and hang in there for your last day of work!

Appy- I hope you get to feeling a little less drained, lol. My foot is much better, thanks, should be able to go back to mild exercise on Tuesday.

Kawaii- Yup, I know. If my grandma was still alive it would be even worse, she was always trying to feed me. But now I have my fiancé's aunt, who is Serbian and going to her house at Christmas was like My Big Fat Greek Wedding. She wants you to eat from the moment you arrive to the moment you leave, and I finally appeased her by taking some food home (more like, enough to feed three people, lol). Thankfully, I only see her once a year.

Lisa- Bell peppers sound good! I am going to cook this week too one of the days I'm not in school, I am craving some good home-cooking.

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Lost between 2 and 4 pounds on the trip, woop woop! I mostly lazed around this weekend, watched some of this crazy British TV channel called RocksTV that happens to broadcast stateside on certain satellite dishes. Call me crazy if you want, but those people jump around like they are on a coffee IV drip and I LOVE it. (Still haven't bought any jewelry though.)

I start school on Wednesday. What on Earth happened to the semester, seems it just flew by.

Well, back to studying. Have a great evening all.