I FINALLY "WENT" - good to know I'm not broken. Still feel like I'm starving to death 100% of the time constantly thinking about eating. I'm leaving work in a couple minutes, going to do Tae Bo and shower before getting dinner with my friend. Legs are a bit sore so I don't think I'll run tonight.
KawaiiCandie After winter break I've gotten comments too. The Korean teacher pulled me aside and asked if I was sick because I lost weight. Glad to hear you're still making an impression on them all!]
rainbowstripe I wish I had your tiny appetite/restraint. Your new hair color sounds sweet. And 3 years, nice! What do you usually do on "anniversaries?"
krampus I can't be bothered to click back and see if I typed anniversary...if so, I'm sorry haha, I dislike the term so much unless actually married or something! The past 2 years we've just been out for dinner...so my guess is that again haha? I dunno...it will be a Wednesday so I doubt much else... I don't always have the tiny appetite, sometimes I am a ravenous beast (usually on days like those I hit 1600 calories easy...) Yay for the poop, hope Tae Bo is good and your dinner too!
kawaii and rainbow- yeah i think the only reason why i was ok was because they are small and cant move very fast. If it had been some kind of beetle or spider or anything with legs I would have been like omgwtfsomeonecarrymeoutofhereidontcarehowmuchitcos tssomeoneelsehastodealwiththis.
But instead. I took a deep breath told myself to
...the worst part was emptying the vacuum cleaner afterwards...
...the BAGLESS vacuum cleaner
Yuk!
rainbow- feel you on the red hair! I dye mine about twice a year because of the cost and it totally doesnt last long enough! But its so awesome those first three weeks! Excited for you!
Icon I'm usually going to the hairdresser every 6 weeks because she's really good at talking me into it haha...but I'm trying to wean myself off and go 8 weeks this time :/ AHAH that smoking crab is super funny, can't believe I've never seen it before!!
~So ... I can tell you all because it's internet land haha... a super exciting opportunity has just arisen for me - becoming involved in a new studio space/artist run gallery space with some friends from art school! It will be a space for us to make work and put on exhibitions/performances/who knows what, and I'm super excited for it! I'm also a bit stressed as I can see it becoming more expensive than my current studio space and that, along with the fact I'm only working part time and meant to be moving out (ie paying rent) soon...freaks me out.
However, I also just applied for a full time job. Eep. In an office. I am totally not cut out for that kind of thing, but it was directed at someone looking to get out of retail and wanting experience in an office, so I applied. Worst that can happen is I hear nothing and get no interview haha.
rainbow: awe yay, that would be a super fun opportunity!!! congrats!!
I miss drawing and painting. In highschool I was big into art, but got into
doing hair when I got out of highschool instead. and good luck with the office job, ill keep my fingers crossed for you!!!
Rainbow- exciting about your new opportunity! Keep us posted on where or not you get and interview for the "office job". Are you in school right now? I know it works different NZ than in the USA....
Krampus- I'm going on about 5 days without "going". It is driving me nuts. I will be eating a glorified candy bar (fiber bar) in hopes of getting things moving. It always seems to do the trick.
I am having some pretty decent daily flucutations in my weight. 146 on day, 148 the next, etc.--what's up with this? Is this normal?
LindsB I think frustrating fluctuations like that are normal. I have been bouncing between 125 and 127 all week with seemingly no pattern.
rainbowstripe Best of luck with the job search!!!
I can't stop eating. Guilt seems pointless. I'm at maybe 2000 for today but a lot of that was junk. Exercise was on point and my arms and shoulders feel nice and sore. I've been noticing some firming up in my midsection too.
Thanks guys! Sorry about not personal’s today I’m kind of skimming through things. (makes it easier when I have a computer at home) Good news I’m down another pound! Yay! So I’m down to 161 now =) I’m slowly getting back down. I didn’t work out the last two days. I know baddd me! I have my personal trainer today so I’m hoping that gets me back into gym mode! I might switch it from 5 days to 3 days of the gym just because I really don’t want to burn myself out . Better than nothing right as long as I don’t go under 3 days!
Since Kawaii asked about the boy, here’s the juicy details.
I don’t know his name…I know the easiest part should be to get his name, but it’s not. Everyone says he likes me (he works in my building, but not with me) He comes around and talks to me and here and there he’ll give out little details about him and I don’t mean like simple random details I mean some stuff you don’t really tell people unless you know them type thing. (I don’t know his name, his age…and the only reason why I know where he works is because he happen to go in one of the elevators when I was downstairs and saw him. I actually thought he worked for a different company!)
He came around one days bringing up something about me always texting my boyfriend. I told him I didn’t have one and he seemed surprised at that. Later on someone told me that’s his way of fishing around to see if I was single. I always called him mr. grumpy because he always had a pissed off look on his face then one day he got so mad at me, (it was actually really cute his little temper tantrum he had…) I smiled and laughed at him which probably made him even more mad! But I was highly entertained by it because I knew then I got into his head and he’d think about me. (this was on a Friday…so when Monday rolled around I didn’t see him until later and I was being sweet as pie haha) Let’s just say he’s a little more cheery around me now…and I no longer call him grumpy.
I’ve seem to have lost my magic touch because now when he talks I kind of freeze up and I’m not quick and witty anymore. But I’m working on it, I’m trying to at least get his name so I can stop calling him “Green shirt guy” . It was so weird though the first week (in Oct) I started working here in the afternoons he would show up come to my desk to talk to me. (the first day I met him he was wearing a brightly coloured green shirt…hence the name green shirt guy. Haha it doesn’t matter if he never wears it again it’s stuck with him until I learn his name.)
Then he stopped coming around me and coming through the second floor which I ended up bumping into him randomly so I thought…oh he’s avoiding me. (which I thought was weird because I hadn’t said anything creepy….yet…haha) then a little before the new year I made a flirtatious joke because he started coming around a little more than usual. (After I hadn’t seen him in over a month) and I wasn’t attracted to him at first, he was just nice.
Now all I want his him! People say he likes me, it’s obvious but then he’ll disappear and then they say he’s playing hard to get. Which yea or maybe he just doesn’t feel the need to want to talk to me. Or maybe he really doesn’t like me…but usually it’s in my head and I always have doubts on these things. I just need a set off balls and be like DUDE! What is your name it’s driving me nuts…then go from there! So that is my boy story now. I went from dating a bunch of people to only wanting this one guy. I think I only want him though because he seems really hard to get.
Hey, I've been MIA the past couple weeks. I think I'm going to name this the month from ****.
My TOM will be a week late tomorrow. I've been a week late before, but never with midcycle spotting (twice) and what feels like never ending PMS plus cold symptoms that keep cycling but never get worse or better. So I'm kind of freaking out that I might be pregnant. I actually already have a test from a slight scare this summer (two in a pack, but only used one cause it was neg). Would you girls take it now or wait it out a little more? I don't want to waste the test (since I am pretty sure I'm not pregnant), but I also really don't want the "what if" thoughts anymore.
Thanks guys. Test was negative. I know morning testing is supposed to be more accurate, but I just wanted to stop thinking about it. I believe the results since I didn't think I could be anyway. So hopefully TOM will come soon and take this awful PMS with it. I just wish it was February already! Bleh.
Linds I'm out of school/university, but currently only working part-time - the reason for that was originally so I could focus on art as well as working, but I'm not using my current studio space enough and I'm also not earning enough for when it comes time to move into some place with my boyfriend. Bleh, money, why must it be so important! Weird about the fluctuations...I'm pretty sure it is normal, I don't get them, but I'm sure others do!
krampus Thanks! Firming of the midsection sounds good!
TheBunneh Sorry for your TOM/illness woes, that kind of stuff is always frustrating and scary regardless...glad to hear the test was negative (if that is what you wanted!), hopefully your body sorts itself out soon!
~I applied for another full time job last night as well haha, in an art gallery that specialises in applied arts (ceramics, jewellery, glassware etc). Not exactly my specialty/expertise, but I think it's more of a retail type gallery anyway, and I think it could be a good position for me - whether or not the people hiring think that is another story all together. It's also really close to my current job, which is awesome.
I was meant to go to a movie or something with my mum today, but I just woke up and she is nowhere to be found :/ Now I feel like I don't want to waste this day...like...I dunno. I think I might even do some art.
urgh, i'm so angry right now i could just scream and cry! it's so irrational that i feel like i'm pms or something, except i'm totally not. threw the scale against the wall when i saw my weight this morning. up to 76.3. i just wanna cry. why? i was so good yesterday??? and this whole "fake weight gain" from last saturday... wasn't it supposed to go straight back down? it's making me soooo depressed. and you guys know i've been having wavering feelings about my diet this week, and this is so not help it. i just wanna say f*ck it and just give up... *sigh*
i'm also really late because last night, date-boy called me and he was like "do you wanna go for a drink? now?" and i said ok, for a short time, cuz he lives 3 blocks down my place (which is funny) so we stayed out til like 10:30, which isn't bad, but then i wasn't in bed til 11:30. i had one drink of shochu mixed with water, and some nibbly stuff like nuts and pickled vegetables, but that seriously doesn't account for a .3 kilo gain on the scale. and i hadn't even gone to the restaurant with my friend before cuz she cancelled since she wasn't feeling well, so i ate fish with asparagus and soup. good girl. *sigh* aaah, anyways.
if you want guy gossip, he was really nice, a little funny, really eager (haha) but he talked so fast! i'm basically the first foreigner he's ever had conversation with, so he doesn't really know how to reign-in his speech to a slower pace so i can understand, so i was often looking at him with a clueless face going "i can't understand!" lol. didn't seem to phase him too much though. lol. our date for friday is still on
rainbow, i think it might be cuz it's so difficult to get "low cal" options here... everything just has such a high count! i'll try to come up with some outfits tonight and show you got no plans to go out and waiting for a delivery from amazon, so oh and congrats on the new art stuff! and i'll keep my fingers crossed for you and that job! you never know!
krampus, congrats on your toilet victory. lol. yeah, i think it must be cuz of the long break and it just made them realized i look different from their old image of me. oh well.
Linds, all i can say is I FEEL YOU!!! and i don't even have the excuse of "not going" for this stupid weight retention. gah! let's hang in there!
Miz, congrats on the loss! and it's so cute you got a crush on a nameless guy you just keep bumping into! lol. but you need to make a move, girl! keep us posted. i love gossip, haha.
bunneh, yeah, it might just be stress, and your cycle is all out of wack cuz of the spotting. just wait it out. hugs though.
I'd use the test. Its not a waste if it puts your mind at ease.
I have trouble keeping with days of the week too 
oh and congrats on the new art stuff! and i'll keep my fingers crossed for you and that job! you never know! 
