Good Morning Ladies!!! I'm in a great mood. I weighed today on my home scale - AND lost another pound since Sunday! It's been a LONG time since I didn't see the dreaded EEE when I stepped on that scale. It's SO motivating to actually see the weight coming off. Not even the nasty weather and the fact that I'm probably getting a parking ticket in the next hour can bring me down. lol
So...LaurieDawn and others, here is my letter. Some background: As my avatar shows, I joined 3fc 12 years ago. It took a while but I lost 100 lbs. Apparently, in 2008, when I was close to that 100 lb mark, I wrote myself this letter. I promptly forgot about it, but last year I found it on my office computer (tax dollars at work - I work for the state) . Here it is:
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You did it, didn’t you? You’ve ditched the plan and fallen off the wagon, haven’t you? You’ve maybe gained back some (a lot?!) of the weight you lost, and you’re feeling out of control right now. You can’t help but war with yourself over the food you feel you shouldn’t have and you quit exercising. Or worse, maybe you’ve just given up, again. In fact, I know you pretty well, and I bet you’re feeling kinda sorry for yourself huh? Poor thing…
But I have to tell you that attitude will get you nowhere. QUIT IT!!!!!
You. Can. Do. This!
I want you to think back right now about why you started this whole journey in the first place. Recall, if you will:
• You weighed 328 pounds. That’s a lot of you! You couldn't breathe during sex. You couldn't walk up a flight of stairs. You couldn't ride a bike, or even cross your legs!
• What about being able to do the things you want to do, go where you want to go and buy the clothes you want to buy? What about just weighing less than your husband?
• And while we’re at it, let’s talk about food. I know you think that those burgers and fries and especially that ice cream and candy give you comfort, but they don’t. No one’s saying you can’t have them – you will have to moderate them. And believe me when I tell you that you LOVE fruit! And yummy veggies, and Fiber 1 bars!!! You’re not giving up foods you love, you’re finding new food friends. And I bet you miss that feeling of control you had about those trigger foods too. Remember you could walk away from the candy on the secretary’s desk EVERY DAY?
• And exercise! You didn’t always like starting, but you really liked releasing some stress, feeling what you body could do! It made you feel ALIVE and AWAKE and just more HERE! You didn't move fast, but I bet you got better before you fell off the wagon.
• Oh, and what about how you feel at the end of the day? Are you tired? Taking naps again? Well, do you remember how when you ate better you didn’t get so many low blood sugar dips?? You can be that way again!
• You’ve been in control of your health before and loved it! You can love it again!
Okay, I know, it’s not so easy. The problem is you think it’s all insurmountable. Something little happened, and you got off track, and then something else, and then it snowballed and pretty soon there went all the good habits right out the window. I know all about it, because it’s happened before!
So, how can you get it back? Baby steps! Remember?
• If you’ve stopped journaling your food – get back to it ASAP! Remember how it helped you learn good habits? And quickly! Get back to counting calories and fats and all. It’s easy and you actually liked it!!
• Take back your attitude about food. Keep asking yourself: is this worth it to me in the long run? Sometimes the answer will be yes, but often it will be no, and you’ll feel proud of yourself because of that!
• And get moving again. You may not love it all the time, but it helps you so much!!
• Remember, you don’t have to make changes all at once. Gradually build in more healthy behaviors. But don’t wait for some mythical “better” time in the future. Take control now!
• Finally, go back to reading 3fc and WW! You were inspired by those stories, and talking about your story helped keep you going too! There’s support there for you.
Remember your pledge to yourself: to be healthier at 50 than you were at 40. That’s what’s important, not the taste of that food or the TV shows you're probably watching too much of.
And you can do it. I, more than anyone else, know you can!!
I'm actually kind of embarrassed...I just found a copy of almost the exact same letter on a sticky on the 300+ club. Weirdness...I guess back in 08, I copied that lady's, changed it to suit me, and kept it for myself! I didn't even remember doing it. But, I guess, that really doesn't change the fact that I needed the kick that letter gave me. :/
Lilion: Thanks for sharing that letter. Whether it was an "original" or not doesn't matter! It is helpful! Oh, and I think that Laurie and I had the same Lillian in mind (I think she spelled it like that, not sure). I believe that the issues she had were huge and maybe that's why we remember her. Glad you are here and that you don't have those issues!!!
Laurie: A small run is better than no run! Glad you were able to get a little bit of it in!
Vladadog: Way to go with getting rid of the fat jeans! That's awesome! I also loved the greyhound and lab analogy. That's a great way to look at it.
Dread: Nice to see that you're increasing your exercise time step by step. Very good way to do it!! Sounds like things are going well for you, and with snow melting, all the better!
Uber: So close to the 20 pound mark! You'll get it soon, I'm sure. It's always nice to see the scale go down!
For me, went running last night after work. It seemed a little difficult, but it also seemed like I could push it a little more than I have been able to for awhile. I was pretty tired afterward. I live quite a ways from work and the gym, and by the time I got home last night, my legs were so stiff. It took a while to get it all loosened up to walk! Ha! I was a little stiff again this morning, but I went to spin. It was so hard!!!! But, I think it helped overall with working out the stiffness from running. Getting there!
I passed on going out to a business lunch today. I just didn't want the temptation of ordering... especially when someone else is paying! Keeping food in check and staying on track for the most part, but it is a delicate balance, and I need to stay disciplined.
LILLION I really enjoyed reading your letter. Lots of truth in it. Woot! Woot on the loss of a pound. I think the first few pounds are the HARDEST and as more time passes it's easier to get in a groove. Totally great that you don't have to look at the EEE on your scale! That's an awesome milestone!
Diane Stiff!! I'm right there with you on the stiff. I don't love being stiff but there is something I like about it-- because it reminds me that I've been doing something. Reminds us what it feels like to be jocks! And so terrific that you were feeling some progress on the run! I always find that a little progress at first usually means I'll start to notice big gains soon. And smart move to skip the lunch. Sometimes eating out is just more temptation...and eating your own food always makes the scale move quicker.
Vlada Fat jeans in the rummage bin? Woot! Woot! That is really awesome!!!! What a great feeling! You are really doing great. Regarding letting work stress be the weight gain factor-- I hear you on that!!! So important to find a way to treat yourself and give yourself little breaks when you feel like life is pushing you too hard.
Amanda I totally love that you are able to hold off on the scale. I am a serious scale hopper-- sometimes more than once in a day. I've made it work for me by becoming acutely aware of the inevitably of the day to day bounces, but I have always wanted to have the pleasure of waiting and seeing the scale drop! Hope you have an excellent weigh in!
Laurie I guess I know that I'm lucky with my health. I'm the "strong as an ox" type. Rarely sick, no serious aches and pains, lots of stamina for what life throws at you, four healthy babies, including one in my forties. I've been reading up a storm about the pre-diabetes thing and it does seem that with careful dietary control and weight loss you can beat it back. Everyone in my family besides me is slim and I didn't pass out of the "overweight" BMI threshold until I was over 30, so I'm not convinced that I was metabolically destined to be fat-- I think I force fed myself to obesity. Sigh. And I just looked up The Blood of Emmett Till-- looks fascinating. Sad. Did you by any chance read Devil in the Grove-- about Thurgood Marshall's early work in Florida? I thought it was brilliant and I passed it around to everyone I knew. With your legal bent you might find it interesting!
I'm PRETTY EXCITED because I finished C25K week two day one! I did C25K as my way into running last time, and I found it really difficult as I had zero background with running, but this time, even though I'm heavier and less in shape when starting, I'm doing it on a treadmill (easier) and I'm really moderating my walk speed enough that I can fully recover in between runs-- and so far so good! I remember last time I took up running it just made a rapid difference in not just how fast I lost, but also how I looked! Hoping that will be true this time too. I feel like a baller! On another note-- I'm having trouble sometimes feeling compelled to eat BIG MEALS even if I stick to my calorie goals-- I actually eat past my satiety point. Today for lunch I had chicken and tomatoes and two cups of bean soup. Chicken and tomatoes or bean soup would have been enough. Calorie-wise, I can get away with it bc I only eat two meals a day-- but what is driving me to keep eating when I'm full? I feel like I get sort of weird during meals and want to make sure I eat as much as possible-- famine mentality. A few weeks ago, I noticed that being over-full is sometimes a trigger for me to eat even more-- it's like the full feeling keeps my mind focused on food. So, I'm setting a goal of STOPPING when I'm full. I could always add a snack later if I actually got hungry again!
Lilion: Life happens! That's what this whole group is about, supporting each other through the loses, the regains and the losing again. I'm glad you're getting back on track! That's a great letter, super inspiring. Congrats on the weight loss!
Vladadog: I'm excited to see if my week pays off, but I'm kind of nervous too. We'll see in a few days! Congrats on getting rid of the fat jeans, it's a huge step to let them go. It's like getting rid of a safety blanket!
Laurie: I hope it's kind to me too lol. This is the first time around that the boyfriend has been willing to go with me all the time to the gym. It's taken a looooot of work for both of us to get on the same page but now that we are, everything is so much easier. You get ALL the kudos for being able to do it without Hubby going with you! Hope you get to fit some exercise in!
Diane: Congrats on pushing your run a little further! And major kudos on having any self control with the business lunch lol. Good job!!
Uber: IT'S SO HARD NOT TO GET ON THE SCALE. Like, stupid-hard. It's not good for me, though! I get disappointed and start giving up with the day to day fluctuations and I need to focus on the big picture instead. Congrast on your moving forward with C25k!! Stopping when full is definitely a great goal. I have the same problem where I get into these moods of just wanting to eat everything in sight and nearly make myself sick in the process.
Today was an alright day. Had half a bowl of oatmeal for lunch, a bacon and egg taco and part of my pasta and chicken dish for lunch (I couldn't resist the taco), and fish and broccoli for dinner. Didn't go to the gym because stayed late and work and was exhausted (did over 9000 steps at work, yay!). Going back tomorrow. If I can push through three days in a row at the gym, I'll hit my goal of 5x this week. Drank a decent amount of water. So...not great, but alright day.
Amanda - Woot! Double lunch yesterday! (JK - pretty sure the oatmeal was breakfast.) It all sounds so routine. Not white-knuckling. Not super thrilling. Maybe how we want our days to be? Since this is the rest of our lives? Maybe? I don't know if my hubby and I will ever be on the same page. I wasn't able to sneak out of work for an afternoon run yesterday, so I wanted to try to run when I got home. I always invite my hubby and kids to come with me for my evening walks, and sometimes they agree. I invited them to come with me for my run, and they both agreed, so it turned into a walk. Disappointing that I didn't get to run. Good that I got them out of the house for exercise. So many things to juggle. Really, really glad you were able to get on the same page.
Uber - Thank you for the book recommendation! I have put a hold on it at my library. I have the same problem with eating past satiety, particularly at dinner. It's the one meal that I give myself permission to eat almost whatever I want, as long as I eat relatively small portions if it's something that's calorie-dense. Last night, we had chicken soup over rice. I made the decision to bypass the rice and eat a few crackers instead. I almost never eat crackers, but eating those few opened up the floodgates, and I did not want to stop. Even after dinner was over, I kept wanting to just open up a sleeve and eat it until it was gone, even though I was full. I have several strategies that are sometimes successful, sometimes not so much. I try to start eating later than everyone else -- allowing everyone else to serve themselves first, making sure everyone has everything they need, etc. It kind of feeds into the mother as martyr trope that I try to avoid, but in this case, it's self-serving. I try to stop eating before I register that I'm full. But I absolutely know what you mean when you talk about famine mentality. I do it at dinner. I do it sometimes when I slip up and eat something off-plan. I know that I am going to reign myself back in at some point, so it's almost like I'm trying to sneak it in when my inner authority figure is feeling more lax. It can be so frustrating! And your recollection of eating a whole sheet cake as your first step out of maintenance? That is exactly something I would do. I am not sure I am being helpful, cuz I haven't figured out a way to corral it yet. But I absolutely relate.
Diane - I love how you work our your spinning stiffness with running, then work out your running stiffness with spinning. =) It sometimes feels that way to me too. Too often, trying to escape the post-work-out symptoms, and sometimes wondering if my body would feel better if I didn't exercise. But I know it wouldn't. And, hopefully, once you're firmly into your routine again, the stiffness will be only a small nuisance, if it's present at all. I also have made the decision to pass up free lunches quite frequently. I even tend to skip the potlucks we have at my work when I bring something. It's so hard to be in an uncontrolled environment, and novelty and variety of food is linked to overeating. Sounds like you, Missy, are making the hard choices and staying on track. Awesome.
Lillion - I loved that letter. And, honestly, I loved it a lot more when I found out that you borrowed and modified it rather than composed it originally. I think it shows realistic optimism. "I know you pretty well, and I know you're feeling sorry for yourself. QUIT IT." I LOVE that part so much! And so much of it applies, whether just starting the re-losing effort and well into it. I balk at exercise too, sometimes. I get tired of the routine, or stressed about the time, or just plain don't want to do it sometimes. But often, just starting and then pushing through the first five minutes brings some renewed enthusiasm. I see why you pulled and saved the letter. So much great advice. Although I don't know if I will ever be fully capable of ignoring a candy jar, unless it was filled with Starlight mints. I can leave those alone.
I popped back up to 155. Probably due to the sleeve or so of crackers I decided to eat at dinner, despite a pretty virtuous day of eating overall. I did get in about 17K steps, but didn't actually get in the run I had planned. But. My hubby and I had a pretty serious disagreement last night, and I wanted to go downstairs and eat. And I didn't. I was having trouble sleeping, as I often do when I am upset, and I told myself I would just go downstairs and read. I didn't admit to myself that I was going to dive deep into the ice cream, but that tends to be my M.O. in the middle of the night, by myself, and emotionally unstable. So, I developed a plan. If I felt like I had to get up, I would go directly down both flights of stairs so I wouldn't be on the same floor as the food, but I would not get up until I had counted, slowly, to 200. Amazingly, I fell asleep, so I got both sleep and an escape from the nasty heartburn that comes from a binge that occurs right before I go to sleep. Maybe I will figure out a way to maintain the weight loss this time? Maybe?
Today's plan: Get in a run, at least five miles. Go to the gym in the evening with the hubby and do some relatively mild strength-training stuff. Stick to my pre-portioned deliciousness for lunch, or if the hubby decides to invite me for lunch after our therapy session, and I decide to go, I will order something sensible. Be very careful about dinner, and don't eat anything but my Arctic Zero (low-cal, doesn't cause me heartburn because it's essentially liquid, and gives me something to put in my mouth) after dinner.
Uber: Way to go on the C25K. I love that program! I think it works really well. And yeah, I get what you mean about enjoying the stiffness a little. I noticed in the last couple of days that I've felt a little stiff, but I also feel like I've done some work as I sit at my desk. Hard to describe, but I can feel my muscles when they are a little sore. Good feeling overall.
Dread: Ok, the taco sounded really good! Love bacon and eggs! Glad you had a pretty good day! They don't all have to be stellar!
Laurie: Sounds like you made some good decisions when you were upset instead of caving in to the food for comfort. I think that's great! Hopefully you can get a run in soon, but it is nice that you can get your family out for some exercise too!!
For me, went to Body Pump this morning. Getting better all the time, even though I have a ways to go. I would like to go running after work. It should be possible. I'm not feeling totally exhausted! ha!
Diane I know just what you mean about the little bit of soreness/feeling your muscles. I've been feeling like that a lot lately, and it makes me remember how much stronger I am. I'm not yet up to two a days like you-- but I'm thinking about it!
Laurie Argh with the sleeve of crackers! Argh with your inner reptile trying to sneak food while your inner cop is distracted! We obviously struggle in a similar way. And hooray for figuring out some strategies for a trigger situation! And i LOVE that you FELL ASLEEP while counting! Isn't that just too much? Here you are, engaged in a white knuckle battle with ice cream, and then you conk out, LOL!!! Counting and setting a timer are two strategies that work really well for me. I set a timer and I tell myself to hold on for just ten minutes and reassess. It almost always works! The problem is when I don't even care enough to set the timer in the first place. Sorry you missed your run, but 17k is A LOT OF STEPS!
So, for me, I'm happy to report that I'm really starting to see some NSVs!!! 1) I was starting to have some "booth" issues in restaurants. Not exactly not fitting, but not having much room to spare (I should explain that I'm one of those fatties who is just ALL BELLY. My legs, arms, and even face aren't too bad. I pack all of my extra weight on my trunk. When I'm standing up, I don't even necessarily look that huge, but when I sit, there is just a lot of belly to contend with.) So, tonight at the local restaurant I was already seated when I suddenly thought, WOW, I fit again! 2. Went for a long beach walk yesterday. Used to do it a lot last year but haven't been out in a while. Really noticed a difference in my fitness. Was able to keep a much brisker pace When I got to the end, there is a steep ramp to climb, or a walking ramp with switchbacks. At the end of the walk, I decided to go up the ramp, figuring I'd have to stop a few times to catch my breath, but I stopped exactly zero times. When I looked at my phone, I realized it had registered as 5 flights of stairs! So, today, coming out of the restaurant where I fit in the booth, I walked up all 5 flights in the parking garage instead of taking the elevator. So, UBER is feeling FRISKY! And it just makes me realize how much faster we reach fitness goals than weight loss goals. I'm still wearing the same pants as I was 20 lbs ago, but I'm already feeling so much stronger! Had a good food day today, and muscle soreness gone, so I'm hoping I might hit the 20lb loss mark tomorrow.
Want to see something funny? My exercise report - calories burned - on My Fitness Pal. Can you pick the Saturdays? LOL Clearly, I have chosen my day of rest. Except for the 27th...I was home sick that day.
Diane - Body Pump and running! You really are a committed fitness goddess! So glad that you are regaining your fitness and that you are able to do two-a-days without being totally exhausted.
Uber - Check you out! Fitting in booths is SUCH a huge thing. And being able to conquer that steep ramp without even pausing--I love, love, love that you're seeing such great results. The scale is such a bother, and though the numbers can be rewarding, sometimes it's hard not to focus on how much farther we have to go. These accomplishments are done. You are going to be able to fit more and more spaces more and more easily, and you are going to conquer countless new fitness goals, especially now that you are well on your way with C25K. But you now fit into that booth, and that's not going away. The timer tip sounds like it would be effective. Interesting that you and I seem to both struggle with this, too. I don't know if I have insomnia per se, but I do lose patience when it takes me more than a minute or two to fall asleep.
Lilion - LOL. They say it's important to get a rest day. Glad you're taking the advice seriously. =) But bravo for being consistent in getting in both your exercise and your rest!
I did run yesterday, but just managed to do some intervals for about three miles. I am going on a real, actual run today. It is supposed to be nice outside. Food was pretty well under control as well. And, I hit a new low for my weight. I was 153.2 about three weeks ago. I am now 153.0. And I am getting more and more random guys hitting on me. Yay?
Uber: That's so great to see the other benefits of getting fitter, rather than just the scale! It's amazing when you start feeling better and can do so much more.
Lilion: Yep, that's kind of how my Sundays are, too! We have had a wellness challenge at work and it is step based. I do well on all days but Sunday. That's when the steps drop to practically nothing.
Laurie: Congrats on more weight loss! Not sure if the new guys attention is great, but at least you know you're looking hot!
For me, I didn't go to Body Flow today. Yes, I should have, but I was feeling so tired and worn out from the week, I just chose not to. I did go running last night.
Laurie Look at you! Officially maintaining, yet still going down? That is the sign that something has really changed for you! Way to go! Attention from guys... hmm. I know that can be both fun and ultimately kind of confusing when it's the result of weight loss.
Diane It's okay to be tired sometimes and need a rest! Respecting your body means sometimes pushing, but also knowing when to scale back. And awesome for running! You are obviously gettng back in the swing!
Lillion Everyone needs to kick back sometimes, but what I see is a lot of activity! Good for you! And if you rest sometimes, that is good too!
Woke up this morning SUPER HUNGRY and thought I'd see a nice payback on the scale. Sadly, no. I'm still waiting to hit the 20 lb mark. . On another note, many moons ago when I was a graduate student, I slipped on the ice and hurt my knee so badly that I was on crutches for six weeks. The brilliant student health plan told me that it was just a bad sprain, but a few years later, an orthopedist told me that I had actually fractured it-- he said I could do surgery or do nothing. I chose nothing. It's a weird type of injury because it hurts if I sit in one position too long, or with weather changes, or going down stairs, or if I kneel on it, but it has never really bothered me walking or running in the past. So I'm a bit worried as it has been kind of sore lately, more than usual. I'm really loving running because it just amps up the fitness so much faster than walking, but I'm wondering if running at this weight is just a mistake, even if it's not that much running and only on a treadmill. I wish I could alternate walking with swimming, but I've been reluctant to shell out for a gym membership as the gym with the pool is just insanely expensive... any way, just musing...
Uber - I, too, find that hunger in the morning tends to have a parallel to lower numbers on the scale. Disappointed that you didn't see it on Friday, but hope that you found it sometime this weekend or this morning. I believe you're not a just-weekly weigher? It's so frustrating when a milestone is within your grasp, and it just keeps barely eluding you. I wish I had some wisdom to give you about whether to run at the weight you are at. I intended to wait longer to run than I actually did, but running is so much more of an efficient calorie burn, and you're right - it amps up t he fitness level much more quickly. On the other hand, I am injury-paranoid, and agree with you that protecting yourself from injury is critical to staying on track. Stupid student health plan anyway.
Diane - Glad you were able to get your run in! That's an advantage of planning two-a-days. You can skip one, and still be heads and shoulders above not doing anything. Hope you're feeling better rested and that you were able to jump into whatever crazy fitness class you had scheduled this morning--spin, Body Flow, Body Pump, etc.
I saw 153.0 on the scale again yesterday morning, and stayed fairly close to plan yesterday, until I ate just a bit too much before bed last night, and saw a jump to 154.4 this morning. But I just don't care. I feel like the jump was more related to the proximity of food than it was any real gain. I did want to finally see a 152.x on the scale, though. Running was okay. I ran about 5.5 miles on Saturday, and plan to run 5 miles outside today over real terrain. I left my running shoes at home, though, so I may try to run in my old running shoes rather than wait to run until I get home, which doesn't always happen.
I saw someone for the first time in about seven months. He said, "Wow! You look like a tweaker!" And my husband said, "You act like a tweaker, too." My husband has made similar comments in the past, and I know what he means. I tend to want to be up and doing things rather than just sitting down, so I will grab empty dishes, for example, and run them upstairs or volunteer to run back in the store for the item we forgot, etc. Or if we are just talking, sometimes I'll get up and sweep the floor or do some other chore. Sometimes, these type of comments are closer to the mark than the friends who gush, and on something critical, I would try to consider them seriously. But you know what? I don't care. I'm still overweight, by the BMI chart, though only by about five pounds. And I love having energy and getting things done.
So. Just going to ignore the useless chatter and focus on the fact that I feel good and I am learning, ever so slowly, how to maintain my weight loss. 95% of people's comments to me are highly complimentary, and I will not let myself focus on the few negative comments.
I'm in a great mood. I weighed today on my home scale - AND lost another pound since Sunday! 
It's been a LONG time since I didn't see the dreaded EEE when I stepped on that scale. It's SO motivating to actually see the weight coming off. Not even the nasty weather and the fact that I'm probably getting a parking ticket in the next hour can bring me down. lol
. Here it is: 
Except for the 27th...I was home sick that day.
