You know Grass, I was reading your message a bit better. You could probably sue this guy for libel or slander or something like this. Maybe get him in enough trouble that he would lose his license. Just think, maybe your being there will be a godsend to people. that you were there and recognized what he was doing and could do something about it. Don't beat yourself up about having it gone on this long. You probably HAD to do that so that he would continue, keep escalating, think he could do more and more and get away without. The very fact that you didn't say anything has caused him to show his true colors! This was absolutely necessary. It wasn't a bad thing. It was the ONLY way it could have happened in order to bring him out in all his monstrousness! Grass, everything is PERFECT!
I hope everyone is having a good day or I hope that it will get better soon.
Grass, there are a lot of people out there like this guy. Do not let him get the best of you. You know what you are doing. I once dealt with a nurse practioner just like him. She told my patient that I was not stretching her hard enough. I refused to crank on her b/c her surgical pins were coming loose. The NP told the patient that it wasn't the pins but it was "blood pockets" Well sure enough, I was correct. Now she is going to have to go through another surgery to get it corrected. If I would have done what the NP wanted I would have been in trouble. So go with your heart, you know that you are knowledgable. There will always be people like that doctor in your life just don't let him bring you down. He is not worth eating more or drinking more. Those things will just make you feel worse in the end. I hope and pray that your day goes by better.
To everyone else, I am heading out to work so I do not have time to respond to everyone. I just want everyone to remember that you are all great and that I am very proud of each of you. We can and will lose this weight. Remember to accept no mediocre life and live your best today!
Red - you made me smile. You have a unique way of thinking - I like it. I am taking those deep breaths.
Shannon and Red too - I have written everything out. Aside from feeling a little petty - I wrote the main topics all the "petty feeling" things fall into. That gave a little more credit to the petty stuff I guess. So see the pattern and it's destination makes it not to petty afterall.
I did go shopping for something small - 20 limit and they had a sell. I bought something cute and sweet for my office and I am going to get a CD of nice music to work to. I can hum the ones I have backwards now
I am doing better but this is a hard hard thing. I'll be glad when there is a little more settlement to it. Right now it's just in limbo with me dwelling on everything he's done that has hurt or endangered me, BF and patients. Maybe that's exactly what the other Doctor intended. leave me to think about it so I'll finally tell him everything. Either way , that's exaclty what's going to happen.
Thanks guys. I'll check in later. As for food - I promise to do my best. I'm also going to call my gym and set up 2 training sessions to get me back in there. I need a stress break!
Hello everyone. It's good to hear that we are all attempting to stay on task with our weight loss goals. I think that we all have a tendency to beat up on ourselves. I am trying to concentrate on the things that I'm learning and doing right. So far, I've come up with a short list:
1. Learning how to accept compliments
2. Getting back to proper eating after pigging out
3. Keeping active and not being a couch potato
4. Enjoying the challenge of getting in shape
5. Replacing negative self talk with positive self talk
I am sure that we all should be able to think of at least 5 things that are really positive about your diet/fitness program. It is snowing AGAIN on top of the six inches that fell the other day. I think one day I would like to live somewhere like Hawaii...I digress from the subject at hand though. Maybe we could all contribute 5 positive things about our weight loss experience that we could print out and hang on our refrigerator. I love the little things that people do that lead to success. I'm sure most of us have made small changes in order to lose weight. I wasn't really aware that I wasn't focusing on the positive until my mother complimented me the other day. She told me that I was doing a good job maintaining my weight loss. I was only concentrating on how much more I had to go, and not looking at my accomplishments so far. Has anyone else experienced a moment like this? I look forward to reading your posts everyday, I find all of you to be a great inspiration. Take care!
Red - I hope that you feel better. I love horses and I am considering a move to Kentucky!
Shan- Look forward to all the opportunities that you will have to eat properly exercise
NBK - You are so lucky to have met Scott Weiland and Slash...I probably would have broken social protocol to get a picture
Crimegirl- I hope that you plan to enjoy your summer, I know that you are studying hard
Tae2tas - A warm welcome to you. A healthy diet and exercise will keep your diabetes in check, and the more weight you lose you will more than likely see your blood sugar drop and you may not need to continue insulin shots. Have faith and hope
Stormy- Hang in there! I like your optimism : )
LGH- How lucky you are to be able to garden already! Some of us are still buried in snow. Have you thought about using the dead leaves and stuff on your property to make a compost pile? You will save yourself a ton of money in the long run and help out the environment!
Grass, I'm just up. Uh,oh, there's that "unique" word again regarding my comments. Hope I didn't say anything too strange. I get that a lot and I'm a bit worried how to take it. You did say you liked it so I guess I'm OK, right grass? So, how are you doing? It'd be after 5 p.m. by you. What time do you leave the office? I'm hoping you were able to calm down a bit, not because it's not good to rant or get upset, NO, because you need to be cool-headed to really do battle with this guy, and I think that's what you need and want to do. How goes it?
Last edited by redballoon; 02-22-2005 at 05:32 PM.
Red - yes, you're okay! You're great. I have just never considered looking at what he was doing as perfect but you're right - he's hanging himself with the rope I gave him. I think I gave him a bit too much though - he's trapping other people in his rope.
I talked to the head doc today. From now on I don't refer anyone to the other doc and I don't have to consult him at all if I find anything going on with one of his patients. I take it to the head doctor from now on. And he's going to recheck all the patients that the doc dismissed because I thought there was something wrong - he said he values my observation skills enough to feel that if I think it's something other than muscle, it should at least be checked...not dismissed. that made me feel much better about the whole thing. He also told me he'd get rid of the doctor before he'd lose me. You can't imagine how much that helped!
So we talk with him about communication and all that stuff later this week. It will be rough talk because he falls under the "don't argue with an idiot - they'll just pull you down and beat at their own game...." catagory. But we're going ot give it an honest try.
okay, tomorrow is a new day - I'm going to do my best to be good tomorrow!!!
OK, grasshopper, glad to hear that! But again, you didn't go too far. Him trapping other people is what was no doubt necessary to make people wake up to what he was doing. Unfortunately, if you're the only yelling "foul!" you're still likely to be ignored because the head guy still thinks it's something personal between you too. But when others are involved, he, if he has any brains, is going to get a bit worried. I mean, there are such things as malpractice suits, right? It's in HIS interests to check this out, whereas if Mr. Moron is just bothering you it doesn't seem so dangerous. This is really, really perfect and since I take it no one was seriously injured it's not that bad. It's a shame and all that but it could have been SOO much worse and it's getting a stop put to it so man, grass, you're a savior!
Ok, back again, trying to get caught up with the others. Purple haze, all around, don't know if I'm going up or down. Hmm. just listening to Hendrix here as I recover from last night. No, really, it wasn't so bad. In fact, it was quite boring and I was drinking slowly and only had a few beers. Interesting enough as we went to the kind of places I would never go on my own with friends, clublike places for the older Japanese man, usually with money. I don't like these places but accompanying guys to them has given me insights into the culture that most women don't get. These aren't risque places, just clubs and hostess clubs and such. Anyhow, there were chocolate-covered sticks on the counter in the second place we went to and I didn't touch them! Hurrah! Chock one up for resolve! AND, there were these deep-fried potato croquettes that I didn't eat either. They are also on my Lent list of things to give up. I did stop into the convenience store afterward on the way home, and that was always a cue to sugar pig, with the beer in me and all but last night again, nope! just other stuff, rice crackers and bread pieces and a stick of cheese. I was hungry.
OK, so obligatory drinking dates are over and I'm staying away from the beer now for a while! Ugh. I want to get back to the gym and see a loss again. Heh, guys, didn't I tell you that my pants fit better the other day? And I posted a loss for the first time in weeks on Sunday! Hurrah, hurrah. Heh, by the way, should we start a new thread or wait for Crime Girl to come up for air? Crime girl, are we with us?!!? Hoping your test goes ok, One more day, right? It's already Wednesday here and I'm thinking of you. Good luck. You'll ace it I'm sure.
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Tae -- Hurrah! I see the cow is a happy cow now. Yes, no longer are you a cow. I laughed when I saw you'd changed it! I'm glad it never got you down but do be careful. You can say you like cows and such but somewhere down there is probably a touch of self-flagellation, which may not actually be bad if it's just meant to get your cracking the whip toward a goal you want to meet. But if there is any bit of feeling of self-degradation then I think it's no good. I mean, there's nothing wrong with you to be fat. Ok, health reasons aside and the fact that you give the drooling masses a chance to make fun of you, discriminate you, put you down, is not a good thing to be doing to yourself, but I think the vast majority of people who are fat have more things RIGHT with them and that's why they turn to food. I mean, they're not turning to heroin, murder or turning AK-7s on people, right?! Really, eating and overeating is still a very healthy way to deal with things until you find a way to deal with them that doesn't hurt others AND YOU! Most fat people are beautiful people, where it matters! inside, their minds, their hearts, their spirits, their BEINGS. If you strive to preserve that YOU and lose weight you will only be enhancing your beauty. Don't ever think of yourself as ugly, even if you eat your way past 400 lbs. Ok?
So, the leg thing, Tae, I think it was and is mostly nerves and poor circulation. It started out as my having pain in my legs so much that it hurt to walk and ride (horses). Then the legs were numbing up and it was hard to move them. This was why I gained weight, because I couldn't exercise as much as I was used to. But I think the exercise was also too much. I was so angry at work, so frustrated, so tense. I sometimes would sit there and feel the electricity just running through my legs whenever I thought of something that bothered me which was ALL the time. I was then so pissed off but determined to work out that I would pump myself full of coffee, then go to the gym and work out like a demon. And I really throw myself into the weight. I used to do powerlifting and we're talking heavy! It really gets the adrenalin pumping and feels good but, eventually, I think the combination was just too much. My adrenal glands must have been in the toilet and my body rebelled. My legs are better now. I thank God was cut off from that situation at work and though things are still horrible financially I am fighting my way on my terms. The pain is gone riding. I can feel my legs again, they were totally numb and though there is still some feeling of numbness it is nothing like it was. I am trying to keep moving more than before, do not sit on the floor working as much and being sugar-free is helping too I think because I'm overall calmer, without all the anger with no where to go.
shanberg -- glad you found your way today! Fog is cool but can be very bewildering. Familiar things are no longer recognizable so it was nothing potentially embarassing really. Glad you're ok. Yup, the light is great, almost too bright but I don't care. I knew it was going to be really bright. I need that to get up in the mornings. Usually it's way before dawn when I get up but even if it's bright outside it's dark in my room, so I want a light to wake me up and go, it's a new day, up and at 'em!! Oh, I've taken off way too much time from the gym, but I did ride yesterday. Anyhow, the drinking is behind me and I feel better illness-wise so I'm going to try to do a bit more today.
As for drinking, don't really want to think about it now, these days I tend to just stick with beer and it's usually Japanese beer, whatever the bar serves. They will only serve one type usually here and that's the distributor for the place but if I have a choice I like the fuller beers such as Sapporo Black Label or Yebisu, which is also Sapporo. Bud is much too light for me. I learned beer drinking in Munich, you must realize and there the beer is very full-bodied. I don't like ale, but can stand pale ale. Usually lager is what I like. If I go to an Irish pub here they tend to only have pale ales like Kilkenny and I can drink that though I don't like it. I can't drink Guiness. I think someplaces might have Budweiser here but maybe not. I don't think it would be popular because it's very light and would not be competitive pricewise with the other light beers here and there are tons of them now. They are called "happoshu" or "sparkling hops" because they're not allowed to call it beer. Because of the reduced something, I think hops, they have found a loophole in the beer tax and so can sell it for much cheaper. It's too light for me so I don't drink it but a lot of people don't mind, just as long as they can get drunk on it and the alcohol content is the same. So, anyhow, Bud would be probably be too costly.
stormy -- good to hear from you. Thanks for your encouragement and words of support. I almost made it to the gym yesterday because of you but wasn't able to because i had to get that light home but I'm going to try again today.
subprin -- I like your list, especially No. 4, "enjoying the challenge." Mindset is so important. If we look at exercise and eating well as a chore or something we HAVE to do we're more likely to feel burdened by it. If we look at it as a game, a challenge, something to put our thinking caps on about I think it can make it much more interesting, thus something we can stick to. You're very right about looking at your accomplishments and maintaining is an ongoing victory. It is ALSO about weight loss because keeping your weight from increasing still is about DOING. It's not ever a pause, is it? That's why it's so hard. It's not like money in the bank. It's more like juggling, where you just get better and better at it, but you STILL need to keep all the balls going.
So, you're a horse lover too! Allright! Do you ride? Where are you now in the States? You're in the Midwest, right?
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Ok, wow, is it late here and it's a gorgeous day out there! I want to get out and enjoy it! Ciao for now!
NBK, kjk, Jacque, CG, anyone else, come in and chat. We miss you!
Oh, guys, I just got home and found one of my cats dead at the door. I opened the door and when I put my foot up on the step to go in in the dark I hit something. I could just make it out in the dark and I knew it was him, the biggest one. He had been sick and I wanted to take him to the vet if he didn't look better when I got home. He had seemed better this morning. There was blood all over the room. It must have been horrible. It looks like something ruptured inside him. It's so horrible. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for him when he died but it would have been awful. I just feel awful, am sitting here crying. The poor guy, that's the way I found him a few years ago, after a car accident and he miraculously survived after I took him to the vet and he gave him intravenous for two weeks. He was so big and strong it seemed. I never thought he was sick. I don't know what it was. Ah, it was such a shock. Two animals I cared for in one month now have died, that dog and now Tetchan. I just finished cleaning up all the blood. It was everywhere. I wrapped him in a towel and put him in a box but I don't know where I can bury him and I hate to just throw him in the garbage. He's rock hard and the blood wasn't all dry. It must have happened just a couple hours ago. Oh, it's too sad. I'm kind of in shock, well, just crying. He was such a good cat but I couldn't let him near me like in my bed like the others and I always felt bad about that. He was constantly blowing snot all around and smelled bad, probably from his gums. I would hold him when I was dirty and about to get in the shower and wash all my clothes anyhow. I always felt bad about that but I always tried to pat him and scratch him. It's just too sad. Really, I was just over that dog that died from starvation and exposure. Ah, damn, this is some way to end a day.too sad.
Last edited by redballoon; 02-23-2005 at 07:37 AM.
Red, I'm so sorry about Tetchan!! It sounds like he had a wonderful home though and you CAN be proud of that! That had to be a terrible end to your day, to lose something you loved and cared for so much. I'm really sorry. Cry all you want.
On another front - you're doing so well. Your pants are fitting better (so cool!!!!) and you're hitting that gym and cutting out bad foods...you're taking on huge challenges and I'm really impressed and proud of you!!! I just wanted to make sure you know that!
everyone - I'm sorry I haven't addressed you personally, I got caught up in my own stuff and couldn't comment on anyone elses posts. I will read and catch up tonight.
Talk to everyone soon!! I'm fresh and haven't ruined my diet yet today so I'm going to have a good breakfast and start off again. Better footing this time around. Talk to you all later today.
I have an energy appointment today - my hour, not a client. I'm so excited about it. She always does a good job at grounding me.
Hi everyone-
I am finally finished with my exam and I will know next week my results. The reason it is such a big deal is that I am retaking a class for my masters. It is a class in criminological theory that I took my first semester in the department after getting a BA in Accounting. Advanced theory is not a good place for someone with no background in criminology. Anyway- basically I need to pass this class to graduate and if I don't pass it I can not take it again. In my program we get 2 tries and that is it. SO- if I pass the class I graduate and if I fail the class I don't get my masters. Anyway- just wanted you guys to know why I have been gone. I studied for HOURS for the midterm but won't know anything until next Tuesday.
I can't comment to everyone just yet- I have to go to work this morning and I am already running late. Just want to say:
Red- I have to respond to your post. I am so sorry about Tetchan! That is a horrible thing to have to come home to. I know it is hard but you need to remember that you gave him a life when everyone else had turned their back on him. He didn't care if you only hugged him and petted him when you were ready for a shower. He only saw that you took time to pet him. Don't be hard on yourself! You helped him and cared for him- and I am betting he knew that.
What to do now? Check with his vet and see if they can help with his burial or cremate him for you. Once again- I am so sorry. Wish there was something I could do.
grasshopper- also wanted to say that I am sorry you are having such a struggle at work. That guy sounds like a class A jerk! I am glad that you are going to have an opportunity to let your boss know what is going on. It sounds like the bad doc is jealous of you and is trying to tear you down to make himself look better. I hope he gets his just desserts! Let us know how it works out and write down EVERYTHING! Don't feel guilty and don't hold back. You need to do everything you can to help this place get rid of him and if they are asking you to write everything down they obviously trust your account of things and not his. Hang in there!
Also- welcome to the newbies! Supreme and Tae- welcome!! Sorry I wasn't here to say that when you first came on. (Although I think I may have for supreme but havent had a chance to really talk to you). Anyway- we are happy to have you!
Alright- I really need to go. I will try to catch up tonight with everyone else. I have missed talking to you all. Have a wonderful day everyone!!!
Red, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I can just cry reading what happened. I think that losing an animal is like losing a family member. When I lost my last animal I cried for months. He will always be in your memory. Try to remember the good! You were so awesome to rescue him. You gave him another chance. Please let us know if you need anything.
Morning, all. Hope everyone is having a great day.
Red - I am soooo sorry about your cat! I know what you are going thru...it almost killed me when I had to put my dog down last year! Go ahead and cry...it will do you good to mourn for him. You were so sweet to save him like you did. You gave him a home, love and attention when no one else did (or probably would have!). You made the time he had on this earth happy and warm. You will always carry him in your heart and have the memories of the time you spent with him!
Little Grasshopper - Glad you are taking a positive outlook on your situation with (what did Red call him?) Mr. Moron!! Sounds like you have a good plan in action. I am glad the head doc realizes what an asset you are to the practice! I know that had to make you feel great when he told you he'd lose Mr. Moron before you! Glad you also didn't let him goad you into a binge!
What's an energy appointment? Is that like a massage? Hope it goes well and helps get you back into your groove!
Subprin - I liked your list. I love lists of any kind. I make them for everything! They help keep me focused and organized!
Stormy - What's up? How's life treating ya! You seem so busy, how do you have time to get everything accomplished??? Do you ever get a chance to just rest, relax, and breath???? All I can say is you go girl!!!
NBK - Still working on your dissertation of your trip?? Give lots of details! It's probably the only way I will ever get to go there!!! Hope all is well with ya!!
Crime Girl - Welcome Back! You were truly missed! Criminalogical Theory, huh? I remember taking Sociological Theory! Man, was that hard. By that time, all the theories had been discovered, so other sociologists had begun to expand current theories. It was so hard to keep them all straight! I am sure you did great! The waiting is almost as bad as the pre-test stress! Good luck!
hi guys sorry no trip report but my food poisoning made me go to hospital to get some anti nausea drugs and then they got worried about my stomach pains and prodded me and of course it hurts when they prod you that hard..long story short on tuesday i had an appendectomy...no bad appendix but my lymph nodes on my bowel were enlarged hence the pain..so am on my mum's laptop,she's comeup to look after me along with bf..who despite hospitals mking him physically ill stayed with me the whole time, they even out my bed in the lounge in my ward at night so he could sleep next to me. anyway pain killers are losing effect so gotta go. catch you all later..he he i suppose now i count as having weight loss surgery??
But again, you didn't go too far. Him trapping other people is what was no doubt necessary to make people wake up to what he was doing. Unfortunately, if you're the only yelling "foul!" you're still likely to be ignored because the head guy still thinks it's something personal between you too. But when others are involved, he, if he has any brains, is going to get a bit worried. I mean, there are such things as malpractice suits, right? It's in HIS interests to check this out, whereas if Mr. Moron is just bothering you it doesn't seem so dangerous. This is really, really perfect and since I take it no one was seriously injured it's not that bad. It's a shame and all that but it could have been SOO much worse and it's getting a stop put to it so man, grass, you're a savior! 
I'm glad it never got you down but do be careful. You can say you like cows and such but somewhere down there is probably a touch of self-flagellation, which may not actually be bad if it's just meant to get your cracking the whip toward a goal you want to meet. But if there is any bit of feeling of self-degradation then I think it's no good. I mean, there's nothing wrong with you to be fat. Ok, health reasons aside and the fact that you give the drooling masses a chance to make fun of you, discriminate you, put you down, is not a good thing to be doing to yourself, but I think the vast majority of people who are fat have more things RIGHT with them and that's why they turn to food. I mean, they're not turning to heroin, murder or turning AK-7s on people, right?! Really, eating and overeating is still a very healthy way to deal with things until you find a way to deal with them that doesn't hurt others AND YOU! Most fat people are beautiful people, where it matters! inside, their minds, their hearts, their spirits, their BEINGS. If you strive to preserve that YOU and lose weight you will only be enhancing your beauty. Don't ever think of yourself as ugly, even if you eat your way past 400 lbs. Ok? 
I'm kind of in shock, well, just crying. He was such a good cat but I couldn't let him near me like in my bed like the others and I always felt bad about that. He was constantly blowing snot all around and smelled bad, probably from his gums. I would hold him when I was dirty and about to get in the shower and wash all my clothes anyhow. I always felt bad about that but I always tried to pat him and scratch him. It's just too sad. Really, I was just over that dog that died from starvation and exposure. Ah, damn, this is some way to end a day.too sad.
