My anticipated "days off" before Friday's arrival of the ex went by the wayside as I received notification at work on Tuesday that the 7mo old was at ER and they were going to admit him for several days. He was released on Thursday but I had to rework my personal schedule to accommodate. I went down to the hospital immediately after work on Tuesday and made two trips down on Wednesday: the first to pick up his dad at 5am to take him home so he could go to work (rent is coming due) and the second about 4 hours later to spend the day sitting with the baby. Fortunately the pup's cardiology appt. was still accommodated because the vets office is 1 mile from the hospital….amazing considering the size of Denver and a 2+hour RT from my home.
So, I have to reflect on my many accomplishments this past week. I stuck pretty close to a food plan. I weighed every day. I resisted all fast food/hospital food. On the craziest day, Wednesday, I was driving back up the hill at 6:30 pm (hungry) and *pinged* that I had just enough time to get to a 7pm AA meeting, although it had been a long day. The support really helped, especially since this entire situation has it's roots in drug/alcohol addiction and I did not take one piece of chocolate from the basket. Thursday, dad asked if I could pick up the baby when he was released and take him to his Aunties. Not having kids, I was still able to lovingly explain to dad that he needed to take the day off work and take the baby home to a quiet environment. He did, and I used the day wisely heading down to Denver to accomplish my chores. My house was in order when ex and hubby arrived and I provided them two healthy meals. Agreed to work an extra day (today) because a coworker is sick.
And…..credit to Beck skills and my willingness to use them…..after we dropped kids off at Aunties yesterday and the ex headed down the road I drove directly to WhFoods and purchased a 15 minute massage(head and neck), sat and drank *free* water while I waited, purchased an expensive raw coconut water, rescueremedy gum and a tincture for recovery. After massage, I chewed my gum and meandered towards home stopping for a shampoo and haircut. It was an absolutely fabulous feeling to counter stress with self care. Credit.
onebyone, yay for a successful printing day and for grabbing the banana instead of all the other stuff. I have a mindfulness check in when I get to check out and have often exited the line and taken items back that have appeared in my basket. Kudos for thinking things through.
nationalparker, kudos for recognizing your successful week as you enjoyed Friday night dinner out.
Fooy2, yay for re reading the book to cement strategies!
p.a., yay for good eating and half your steps!
maryann, hope you are feeling better soon! Great job thinking through your Friday fasting.
gardenerjoy, love your response to fatigue! Yes, it's sometimes difficult to figure out the tools for fatigue when you're experiencing it.
dailypractice, regarding food gifts, I really like the aspect of Beck which allows me to plan for that treat another day. The two tiny dinner mints can fit into my tomorrow plan and I can reap the rewards of resistance today. Kudos for resisting.
curlyjax, sending cyber hugs! Keep reading here!
BBE, enjoy your weekend away! Kudos for passing on the super yummy reuben and rings. I love blackened fish!
Nationalparker: Thanks so much for your ideas abou eating in Italy. How inspiring to hear you LOST weight on your trip! Walking 12 miles a day, WOW. Enjoying foods with fresh healthy natural ingredients in italian trattorias DOES sound wonderful! Thanks also for the story about how your dad would accept food gifts graciously … and kudos to you for yesterday’s start: the smoothie and bypassing the bakery items. Bummer that dinner went off the rails. I know how it is to go “hunting for something to fill the emptiness”. HUGE kudos to you for recognizing it, for recording it AND for stopping yourself from beating yourself up about it. I'm taking note of your self-talk. “it's DONE. My week has been a good one and if I have one meal that is too large, well I can regroup.” Excellent.
GardenerJoy: Thanks for your hints on how you mastered slow eating. Very helpful! That’s awesome that you’re able to recognize when a wish to overeat is really a symptom of fatigue. (I gotta remember that) Hmmm. Tools to handle it. Getting to bed earlier, as you’re already doing has gotta be A#1. I’m fortunate to have space in the day for a 20 minute nap when I need it. And caffeine. Kudos on your exercise, your 90% OP eating, reading, logging.
Maryann: Bummer on the ear infection and kudos for not letting it become a handy excuse. I like your line “Funny I use every opportunity to slip out of commitment in regards to food discipline.” (Me too!) I’m glad to hear the family knot loosened a bit. Your self-talk is awesome "What would I need to change about me in this situation?" rather than just eating at anyone I resent.”
P/A Kudos on recording your steps and on eating well. Thanks for the idea of “knitting” as a way to ward off snacking. I got a chuckle in the way you call yourself a terrible knitter and that you use the term “loosely” when you call what you’re knitting a “scarf”. LOL. Great idea. I’m writing a list (on a Beck-sized card, of course LOL) of ideas of substitutes for food. Knitting is going on the list.
Fooy2 You say it so nicely and I echo your sentiment: “What great reassurance I feel reading the posts from such a lovely group of like-minded souls, thank you to everyone. Learning all the time and the practical tips picked up will help me.” Kudos for starting to read the book to cement the strategies. And kudos for not breaking your fast, for remembering to sit, for using a healthy dressing and for logging “no matter what”. You’re doing great!!!
Onebyone: So good to hear you say “not once did I think about food and eating. Not once.” Awesome to be so involved in an activity that it takes the focus off food. As to the lure of "cheap" 50% off food, I’m also a sucker. Kudos for avoiding. Cool to hear you say “I actually took a minute and imagined how it would stall me and prevent a drop in weight come Monday when I weigh in.” …I LOVED your story about your neighbor and her lovely gifts of food. Those kinds of exchanges are what make life worth living. It makes me feel all warm and cozy. And you’re doing the right thing to accept graciously and then do what YOU need to do with the food afterwards. I wonder if continuing to give lavish compliments to the foods you CAN eat and not mentioning the ones you end up having to discard, might that help to “shape” her giving behavior? If not, then so be it. What a wonderful relationship you’ve developed.
Lexxiss: Wow. I’m amazed to hear that you have stuck close to your plan amidst what sounds like a very trying week. Kudos to you: for daily weigh-ins, for resisting all fast food and hospital food, for bypassing chocolate, for preparing healthy meals and for attending AA. (I've found great support in other 12-steps, including OA) I’m so glad to hear the support helped. Kudos to you for learning and applying Beck skills, and for drinking the *free* water. P.s. Thanks for the ideas on how to deal with the dinner mints by fitting them into tomorrow’s plan, thus reaping the benefit of strengthening the resistance muscle! Excellent.
Day 6: Find a Diet Coach:
This is an easy one, now that I've found this group. Thanks everyone for the great coaching you've already demonstrated in the 6 short days I've been on the program. Wow. What a help it is already. As I said, I've done the Beck program before, the first time was 3 years ago, and it was successful, but it was SOLO. When I'd try to get another dieting friend interested, no one would come aboard. So I found Beck does work SOLO, but it is so so much better to have a coach. MUCH MUCH better. And less lonely. And more fun. Thanks, all.
It's so cool how one of us will put a little problem out there on the forum, and before 24 hours have passed, VOILA, there are several excellent strategies for dealing with it, or if solutions aren't readily available you at least hear "yeah, I know, I've been there too, that's a tough one, you aren't alone!"
And it's encouraging and inspiring to read the stories of tiny triumphs over temptation. What might seem like an inconsequential event, eg. how someone bypassed free chocolate, normal people would think "what's the big deal?" but Beck buddies know it IS INDEED a big deal and worth recording and worth celebrating!
Thanks everyone for being there and for being so kind-hearted and full of wisdom.
Ani
national parker Was going extremely well until I tripped over the dog and fractured me right arm near the shoulder on Thursday. Waiting for swelling to go down and surgery. Not sure if I will be able to recover and then get trained again in time for JMT on July 12th. Still hoping for Wonderland Trail September 1st. Lots of pain, and pain meds make me itch. On fentanyl patch and trying to see if Benadryl will allow me to take Dilaudid for breakthrough pain. Ice helps too. Pretty helpless, right arm, husband is a saint.
Even did Grand Canyon down and up last Saturday. Huge bummer but so many have it so much worse. When pain diminishes will get back to typing notes. I just felt I was saying the say thing day after day so was taking a break. Food is good. Trying to be careful so maybe will lose a pounds since I don't have to worry about fueling for huge hikes. Step count on Grand Canyon Hike was over 44,000. The highest I saw on my Vivo.
We ended up with carry-outs last night after a stressful week. Two introverts don't handle workers in our house very well. But, I figured out that we were likely to do that early enough that I skipped my second snack so that helped. Next time, I suspect I need to reduce the portion size.
Now, we get two days with the house to ourselves!
WI: NC kg, Exercise: +30 840/1300 minutes for March, Food: 80% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
maryann: Hope you're feeling better soon! I'm glad things are working out with your mom, without the need for confrontation.
p.a.: I hope you get into some permanent spring weather soon.
Fooy2: good for you for getting back on track -- that seems to be the most useful skill of all.
nationalparker: good for you for regrouping. Yes! Strategy is better than willpower. I'm astounded by how much structure it takes to get me to do what I claim I want to do. But, it's the only thing that works for me.
onebyone: Beautiful prints! Good for you for associating the "Reduced" foods with a weight stall and CREDIT for letting them go.
Lexxiss: wow that was quite a week for you. Glad the little guy was healthy enough to come home. Good for you for employing your Beck skills and getting in some self care when you had the chance.
dailypractice: Yay for finding a diet coach -- this group! I love the way the group has become voices in my head during the day that help me recognize potential pitfalls and make better choices. Glad to have you join us with such enthusiasm!
karenrn: so sorry. That's a major step back in your wonderful hiking plans. Good for you for thinking about what the appropriate servings for food are under the current reality.
Just wanted to check in. I've been working the lessons, working my diet plan, and reading here but haven't had much to say lately.
Thank you to everyone who answered my question about reciting memorized ARC versus pulling it out and reading. I'm making more of an effort to read the physical card now.
Personal obligations in the evenings kept me out of the gym this week - my taxes are complicated this year so that took two trips to H&R Block (owed less than I thought I would, which is as good as a refund), and I'm viewing houses (lovely house in a lousy neighborhood, nice town home in a great complex but right on the main street in front of it and with ancient appliances and horrible master bath; I bought neither.) I'm looking forward to hitting the weights today.
Diet's not perfect but I didn't binge this week, which is an improvement over last week. I found a Binge Eating Disorder specialist "only" 90 miles away (I live in the boonies) but I've made no decision as to whether or not I'll actually call him.
Could be the medications or portions but I am up two pounds from ticker. Discouraging. Nonetheless, I am trying out the 7,12,6 schedule I have in my head. I will add specific meal times with nothing in between to the "No Wheat, One Smoothie" conditions currently in place. Like Beck says, I have to use the scale number for information and the information I am getting is I am not cutting back enough. The trick with me is to continue to refine without instigating a full on rebellion of which I know I am capable. So for today I will read my ARC, follow the plan, take a walk, enjoy the company of DH and DS.
dailypractice: I have tried to tell people about Beck but it is a no- go. I have come to believe that compulsive overeating is more diffiult to stop than smoking.
nationalparker: Grief resurfaces. Sometimes I am driven to the food before I even realize I am sad.
karenrn: Glad you made Grand Canyon. What a success. So sorry about the arm. Medication is a love/hate realtionship. I am glad I have it for my ear but I hate being on it.
gardenerjoy: I agree with your comment to nationalparker. Structure is essential to my success. Sometimes I look around and say "Nobody else is trying this hard." But everyone has their own demons even the ones who look great. It is just compulsive overeaters who demons bring such a visible manifestation.
onebyone: I, too, am a super bargain hunter. It is thrilling to find great deals.
p.a.: I am Catholic and for Lent I am observing a fast on Wednesdays and Fridays. The two small meals cannot equal the large meal of the day. I usually do vitamix smoothies for the small meals.
fooy2: It is so much easier to be on plan rather than having to get BACK on plan. Credit for your success in staying strong.
lexxiss: You are in my thoughts and prayers. It is insanity what is being asked of you. Credit that you don't use the insanity to go off the rail yourself. I never left a a meeting not feeling better.
Violette: Glad you took the time to check in. Binging is a painful aspect of my disease. It takes time in counseling but I have found peace from it for several years.
A good day today - busy with errands, balanced with some time to journal, shave and bathe the pooch, and prep healthy meals. I bought a few pair of capris at Sam's (of all places) but since you can't try on there, I have to return them tomorrow as the waists gap too much in the back. I thought I'd just get them altered but they're a bit too long in the rise as well.
Tomorrow I'm looking forward to more "me" time again.
Scale slightly under ticker despite pizza last night.
Tried on clothes in a store as well - and thought I looked halfway decent when I went out ... then saw the full-length and was like eck. Then took jeans/sweater off and tried on clothes and was shocked at the size of my thighs and the lumps and bumps. That is a push to be more active ...wow.
Hello Coaches and Beck buddies I’m happy to have finished my first week of Beck. It’s been solid. Increasingly so. As the week wore on, I patched holes in my “system”, and improved my strategies, thanks to recalling what worked for me in the past, reading Beck and especially reading about YOUR struggles and strategies. Thanks much.
This morning as usual, I reread my advantages, and added a couple more. Including: The advantage of staying on plan is that it DOES GET EASIER as the resist muscle is strengthened, by avoiding slips in the first place. It takes teeth gritting and white knuckling to start again after a slip than it does to keep coasting. That resistance muscle gets flabby quickly. It’s like when I ride my bike on a slight decline, how you can coast and let gravity help. Versus after a slip. It feels like a steep uphill climb in the lowest gear.
KarenRN: So Sorry about your fractured arm… And Wow, the Grand Canyon? Do you mean you go down and up all on one day? Very impressive.
GardenerJoy: It must feel good for you introverts to have the house back to yourselves. Kudos for being careful about eating amidst the stress. And strategizing ideas for next time “reducing portion size”. (I also like how you summarize exercise, food, reading cards all in the one-liner. Neat idea) Thanks for your insightful statement: “Strategy is better than willpower. I'm astounded by how much structure it takes to get me to do what I claim I want to do. But, it's the only thing that works for me.”
Violette: Kudos for working the lessons and kudos on your diet work, and recognizing that although it might not be “perfect”, perfectionism isn’t the goal. Congrats for seeking out a specialist. Wishing you the best in your decision to see this person or find another, perhaps closer.
Maryann: I too can get discouraged when the scale goes up. Thanks for reminding me of Beck’s advice to use scale number for information and to plan accordingly. You express it well the fragile balance: “to continue to refine without instigating a full on rebellion.” Kudos for focusing on the things you CAN do: reading ARC, following plan, walking, enjoy people. I find it interesting you say “I have tried to tell people about Beck but it is a no- go. I have come to believe that compulsive overeating is more diffiult to stop than smoking.” Yes. ... And thanks for sharing your insight in realizing that it’s not true that “nobody else is trying this hard”. As you say, we cannot know the struggles other people are facing. Thanks for that.
Nationalparker: I know what you mean about those d*** full-length mirrors. A brave soul can only take so much of that. I have to beware of my fragile “susceptible” times of day to brave those scary things. Glad to hear you call it overall “A good day”. I smile at the image of “pooch bathing”. My pooch HATES baths but LOVE LOVE LOVE’s to jump into a dirty mucky creek on our morning walk. Have a great "me-day" tomorrow.
Last edited by dailypractice; 03-22-2015 at 09:06 AM.
Arrange Your Environment: Slowly over the week, I've been attending to this. All my danger foods are now gone. And my resolve has strengthened such that my bf's pepsi in the fridge is considered off-limits (no if's and's or but's!!!) and it (miraculously) isn't calling out to me.
Yesterday, I stopped at the fruit stand to buy lots of fresh fruits and veggies… and ginger. At my 4pm craving time, I had a nice cup of ginger tea, half a fiber bar and DIDN'T feel bonkers.
Several people have mentioned that they don't post because they have nothing new to say. That's fine, of course, and I've gone through periods like that myself. But I also want to make the argument, for myself so I keep posting, to post every day, anyway. If what I post every day is a struggle, then eventually I'll get tired of myself, figure out what the problem really is, and fix it. If what I post every day is a success, then I deserve the credit and deserve to declare that credit every day as if it is a new achievement, because it is. There's no where else that I can take credit each new day for following my plan -- this is the place to do that.
So, CREDIT for getting back to 100% after not doing as well on Friday. CREDIT for a longer day of exercise after a couple of shorter ones. Yay! for seeing a drop in the scale as a reward to all of that.
WI: -0.25 kg, Exercise: +45 885/1300 minutes for March, Food: 100% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Violette_R: good luck with the house-hunting! That's exciting. Good for you for finding the motivation to read your physical cards.
maryann: I'll be interested in seeing how the meal schedule works for you. Are you keeping a snack in the plan as well? I pretty much eat by the clock. It works well for me because it takes away some of the thoughts around food. There's little inner discussion about when to eat because I know when I'm going to eat.
nationalparker: off the rack pants always gap at the waist on me, too. You'd think that real women weren't pear-shaped from the way the clothes are cut. It's a pleasure when I find a rare pair of pants that actually curves in the places I do and has enough roominess in the thighs.
dailypractice: Yep! One of my cards says "It's easier to STAY on plan than it is to get back on plan."
Last edited by gardenerjoy; 03-22-2015 at 09:44 AM.
Good morning (and please bear with me if I post again tonight to "report" back) ... but after reading DailyPractice's and GardenerJoy's posts, I wanted to thank both of them before I lost this feeling. Two things hit me solidly - YES, DailyPractice - I love the visual of the bike riding coasting a bit vs. struggling to crest the incline. I am hoping to get better at bike riding this summer. I am leery of it for some unknown reason - since I used to bike all the dang time years ago. Think it'd be better for me since my knee can be troublesome.
GardenerJoy - THANK you for mentioning to not worry about posting the same-ole ... for some of us it's a great daily reminder that we, too, need to look to fit in activity if you're posting that you're doing similar activities, that sometimes the routine of staying on track, day after day, is what can help us build up the success. It helps me to see both the successful posts and the "argh, I strayed" posts - it CAN be done and if I don't, then I'm not alone
On the computer getting a few hours of work done on a slow system again, in between cleaning, laundry and spending extra time with one of our cats, who is particularly cuddly this morning (one we can hold and wants to be held, the other yeowls bloody murder when I hold her). Have a list of errands and chores to tackle before getting on the computer for more work tonight. A very busy Monday at work, so need to wrap up all I can tonight.
What are your more influential advantages? Please share
Beck Coaches
I'd be interested to hear from you what you would list as your most "influential" advantages for losing weight. By influential, I mean which advantages are the ones that have a high success rate at warding off bad choices.
For example, one of my advantages involves how I'll LOOK at a lower weight. Which is fine. Except when faced with the temptation of one cookie, I find it easy to rationalize (quite accurately, actually) that one cookie at 100 calories, if I indeed stop at one cookie, will not in fact affect my final outcome. No. But it is the after affect of that cookie. The strengthening of the give-in muscle. The weakening of the resistance muscle. The slippery slope affect. And all that jazz.
An advantage that DOES help me is "This is my daily practice. Not unlike a spiritual practice. I do not take this blythely. Following thru on it MATTERS." With THAT advantage guiding me, it is not longer about the pros and cons of a 100 calorie cookine. The question instead becomes "Did I attend to my daily practice"?
So ... if you don't mind sharing, what are some of YOUR influential advantages that most guide you to good choices?
Still trying to find that influential advantage Dailypractice....I find I'm still able to convince myself that it's ok to eat 'whatever' . Which in turn either leads to another one or just saying to heck with it and eating whatever. My best plan is to not have it in my house at all.
I'm inspired by all YOUR great strategies!
Completed day 6: Find a Diet Coach
Finished Week 1. YAY!!!
