I am 26 years old, a divorced mother of 2 boys (5 and 7 years old), 5'5" and 40-50 lbs overweight. I currently weigh 195lbs and I have no idea how it happened. Well, I have an idea (the divorce along with everything leading up to it, plus the fact that I quit smoking), but it happened so fast I couldn't stop it. I haven't been this heavy since I was pregnant. Even though it's been about 3 years since I could look down at my scale and see 150, it feels like forever ago. Somewhere between then and now I lost pieces of myself and tried to fill the void with food. I've really never allowed myself to think about it, about how much I've given up on myself, until now. With each stroke of the keys, I'm fighting the tears. How could I let this happen? How could I just sit here through the years and watch myself become someone I don't even know? I don't have many friends to lean on. I used to, but over time the ones I thought would always be there just weren't anymore. There are only 3 left, 2 are men who have no issues with weight and the other is a female who I've known for 17 years and she's always been thin. No understanding there. My entire family is overweight, my brother and sister, I would consider obese. We don't really discuss weight but I've never heard either of them say anything about trying to loose some. I guess, in a nutshell, I feel alone. I don't really have anyone around that can understand how I feel, or help me reach my goal. So I'm here. Seeking out strangers that have more in common with me than people who have known me my entire life. It makes me sad when I think about how alone I can feel in a room full of people. Remembering a time when people would look at me, not through me. I know I have a lot of work to do. I know that my weight is a direct effect of how I feel about myself and I want, more than anything, to convert the negative into positive. I've never been the kind to need help. Even submitting this thread will be a huge step for me. But I'm going to do it. I'm going to allow myself to be vulnerable. I'm going to admit that I need help, I need support from people who understand me or I'm never going to heal. So, if anyone out there needs a buddy, let me know. Thanks!