I know that I already did most of my Chapter One thoughts but I thought that I would finish....
The Summary of the 7 Steps to Permanent Weight Loss
My job is to unlock each door, step theough it with a commitment to change, and KEEP MOVING FORWARD until you've walked through all seven doors.
Ok this will be one of my challenges. I guess you could say that I have been working on Willpower all this time. I am very gung ho at the beginning and then life gets in the way and I stop doing what I know I need to do. I start putting me on the back burner and I fade into the walls. I need to keep myself focused and up front.
You Either Get It Or You Dont. I know this to be true.
Key One - RIght Thinking What is your personal truth? Whatever it is about yourself and your weight problem that you have come to believe..... Because if you believe it, if ti real to you, then it is for you the precise reality you will live everyday. Light Bulb Moment again.... I realize that in some small part of the back of my brain I have all my exuses as to why I am this way..... I deserve to be fat and ugly, I am not pretty, I am lazy, I am sloppy, I have poor genes from my fathers side which is the side that I take after, Exercise takes too much energy, Food just tastes to damn good, I will start tomorrow, I wont drink sodas or tea ever again - tomorrow, I wont eat chocalate every again - tomorrow, etc. etc. etc. These are the thoughts that run threw my head all the time. My wasy of excusing all of my bad habits. This is where having a mantra, so to speak, that I say every morning and every evening would be a good thing to put into play. New words to break the old words.
Whatever your way of thinking, it provokes a physiological change. Every thought you have, there is a corresponding physical reaction- reactions that may suppress your energy and prevent you from having what you truly want. Things to realize... Your thoughts are powerful and they will create whatever it is you think into reality.
Walking through this door will be hard because it means letting go of some long-standing and powerful forces in your life. One you do this you will reclaim an incredible level of self-control. I sure hope so...
Key #2 - Healing Feelings
You eat emotionally. You have developed strong emotional attachments to food, and this is one powerful reason why you turn to food when you crave love and emotional support. Emotional eating has figured hugely in your weight problem. Your weight will never be lower or healthier unless and until you stop emotional overeating.
Yes I do this. I know it. I know it when I am doing it.... It doesnt seem to stop me... Hopefully I will be able to find the trigger that stops this.
Key #3 - No Fail Environment
This key is all about burning bridges: minimizing opportunites that inviting needless snacking, and bingeing; getting rid of the clothes of your plus-sized clothes of your plus-sized life; and re-engineering you environment for success. With this key, you will make your life look different, feel different, and be different. When you begin to do dofferent things, trust me, your actions will gain positive momentum. And through it all, you'll begin to feel better, more energized, and more focused mentally. OK -I guess this is where I trust him to take me through this.... I mean I know you shouldnt have junk food in the house.... I know all this. But what happens when others bring it in? And getting rid of my clothes????? I dont know about this.... I mean I know that I where the fat people clothes... You know the clothes that dont bind or make you feel uncomfortable (Coldwater Creek - I Love You!) We shall see..... I dont really ever want to go back to uncomfortable clothes... I used to wear those when I was thin and didnt like it then either.....
Key #4- Mastery Over Food And Impulse Eating
At some conscious, rational level, you know that it is counterproductive and extrememly unhealthy to overeat, binge, or to medicate yourself with food. But at some other level, these behaviors are rewarding you enough for you to keep doing them. Put another way, you are getting "pay-offs" from your behavior. It is a law of life that "people do what works", and so your behavior must be working for you in some way.
Anthony Robbins talks about the pain/pleasure of it all. You see more pleasure in eating that chocalate icecream than you see in the pain of the wieght gain. He talks about refocusing more on the pain to stop doing this and as you focus more on the pain the pleasure side will become not worth it. Definetly something I have to work on....
Key #5- High Response Cost, High Response Nutrition
You are intelligent enough to know that id you take in more food than you burn off, you will gain unhealthy and unsightly amounts of weight. Yet you continue to choose the wrong foods in too-large amounts, puttingtaste and convenience ahead of nutrition and, as a result, no one has to shake the sheets to find you. You just gotta love the way he puts this....
I am interested in what he says about eating. Although I feel like I know what I need to do.... I just dont do it.
Key #6 - Intentional Exercise
OK - I have always been the all or nothing girl when it came to exercise. Would run 6 miles but if I could only get in 1 mile I wouldnt do it.... Went to the gym for 2 1/2 hours a day but if I could only get in an hour or so I wouldnt go.... And needless to say that after awhile I wouldnt do anything... I would come up with the typical excuses we all use about time, etc. So hopefully this will change also. And maybe he will teach me not to be so extreme - all or nothing.
Key #7 - Your Circle of Support
I am like so many others. I dont want my family to know what I am doing... at least not at first because I am so afraid of failing again. My husband gets impatient with "yet another diet". So you guys are my circle of support. Eventually I will bring him into it when I start having some success or when I have the self confidence.
The difference between those who keep the weight off, and those who dont is that they use all seven keys. So if you are "realy" sick to death of being overweight, if you have been fighting it for years, if you are tired of buying and wearing, pulling and tugging at a bunch of ugly "fat clothes", if you are fed up with failing, I mean really fed up, you can decide to change all of that right now- by using these keys to gain control of your wieght, finally and permanently. I want to be one of those that succeed. So all 7 steps here I come.....
You will never be able to change what you do not acknowledge. Only when you figure out what your biggest obstacles are to weight control, can you match workable, livable solutions to them. I know that I will have alot to acknowledge and face in all of this. Lots of garbage that I am going to need to resolve. It scares me some because I know that I am going to have to face this stuff..... no more hiding it under the rug.... not that it has really hid under that rug.... it has hid under the fat of my low self-esteem.
Dont depend on willpower but depend on programming.... deliberate modifications in the way you live your life, and it has everything to do with developing a lifestyle that creates a healthier behavior.
With programming, along with the appropriate goals, actions, and self-manangement, you fdesign your life so that it pulls for you when youre weak, when youre not pumped up, when you dont feel like behaving maturely, when you dont want to tell yourself "NO". If you program yourseld and your environment in such a way as to support your goals and actions, then you have programmed your world to help you lose weight, to sustain your commitment, and to live your life in a meaningful, purpose-driven way.
Ok while thinking of all this... I cant help the thoughts of this is going to be painful. Let's go have one more blow up day of eating everything you want. I feel like an alcholic that has just been told you can never drink again. The devil sitting on my shoulder telling me of all the things I am going to miss out on.... It is so crazy! It is an actual physical thing that I am feeling in my gut. I am also feeling anxious, like my heart is pounding a little more than normal.... All this because I want to live a better life....
THE DEVIL REALLY HAS AHOLD OF ME
Does anyone else feel this way?
What I want you to focus on is requiring more of yourself, starting right now. What if I dont have more to give? That is the hole failure thing rearing its ugly head.
It is when you look too far ahead, worring about all the pounds you must lose, that you become overwhelmed, unfocused, and defeated.... THE WHOLE BIG PICTURE. It is hard for me not to look at that. The one day at a time attitude is not my strong suit. I know this and I am trying not to.... I am trying to learn how to break it down....
I know that this is long winded - AGAIN. I might as well say this now. A lot of my posts I feel are going to be this way. Hopefully you guys know how to spead read.
maybe if I get time later I will have more to say. Just remember Angel, you have already inspired so many of us to take control of our lives as well. And that is something to be proud of.
I do live by these words in all other parts of my life, but have never applied them to my body.
I feel very resistant right now. I don't like change even when it's for the better! 
