WOW! I got to buy Dr. Phil's book this weekend, and I just finished the first reading. I am very impressed with his approach, so I'm really glad I got it and I'm glad to be in this Book Club with you guys!
I thought we could revisit the book and maybe get some stuff out of it the second time (or the first time for some). Maybe we could remember some of the things that we forgot or let click things that we didnt let click the 1st time through.
I have some real hang ups and am very frustrated with myself for not getting all the way through the book the 1st time through.
Above are some of the posts in reference to Chapter One. I thought I would put it all together for those of you interested in others insight.
One thing that makes me sick is that I started this thread on the Dr Phil Book back in October of last year. I was the instigator of all of this. And what have I accomplished in a year. I have gained another 20 pounds!!!! How dissappointed in myself am i! I wish that the light bulb would switch on. I need it to.
I know that I have had a lot of life changes in the last year. I was very sick last winter, made a major career change that I am happy for, had a son go to college, had my 1st year of marriage to the love of my life (after 13 years of being a single mom), have a 16 year daughter in my house (need I say more???) and finally I threw out my back in July that I am just now finding relief from after going to physical therapy 3 times a week since it happened. Somewhere along the line I have forgot about taking care of myself.
These are all excuses that I shouldnt let get in my way but they have. I have got to stop now. On average I have gained 10-20# a year to get to where I am now. I have to stop this viscous cycle now. I weighed 172# (and thought I was huge!) when my husband and I 1st met (July 1, 2000). In 4 1/2 years I am now up 55#.... so not good. I want to beautiful not only for him but for myself. Why am I hiding? What am I afraid of? Those are things that I have to figure out.
I hope others will join me and that we can fight our demons together. Let's get through this book and make next year our best year. Let's do this together!
Dr Phil said this time next year you will not weigh the same , you will be either more or less than you weigh now.. This is soooo true.... I mean look at me.... I started this all a year ago and I now weigh 20#s more......I really dont want to be in the same place a year from now. Or worse yet another 10-20#s heavier.
HELP ME PEOPLE!!!!!! And I will help you!
OK in my next post I will write about the new perspectives that I got from rereading Chapter One. Let me know what you guys got out of it. What are you hoping to find in this book? I think that we should try for a chapter a week if that is ok with everyone else. I you think we should go faster or we are finished with the discussion on each chapter we can go ahead and go to the next thing.... just let me know.
This time lets let this make the difference.
Last edited by Angel26519; 10-31-2004 at 06:16 PM.
I could have written this post, it is EXACTLY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am SO desparate to lose weight, and yet, I DO NOTHING to get there.I worked for years as a dietary technician, working with dietitians and I KNOW better. I'm so SCARED I'm going to have a heart attack and pass away, and yet I STILL DO NOTHING. I'm so uncomfortable and hate myself so MUCH, I have so many problems like even doing up shoelaces, and my 7 year old keeps asking me why I don't want to be skinny like her and DH.
We need to get together on this and just try a little each and every day.
I don't know HOW to get the will to do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[QUOTE=kathyinaus]
I am SO desparate to lose weight, and yet, I DO NOTHING to get there. I'm so SCARED I'm going to have a heart attack and pass away, and yet I STILL DO NOTHING. I'm so uncomfortable and hate myself so MUCH, I have so many problems like even doing up shoelaces.
We need to get together on this and just try a little each and every day.
[QUOTE]
Well that all could have been written by me.
I know what to do, and I know it needs to be done, I just haven't gotten it all together yet-not in the right mindset. Is this the will power Dr. Phil is talking about??
I think I desperately need to put myself FIRST in my life. I am a single parent, so how can I do it?? BUT...I know that if I don't get serious and get this weight off, I won't even be here to see them grow up and have lives and families of their own, so CAN I wait anymore in making myself first????
What are you hoping to find in this book?
In this book I am hoping to find encouragemant and the tools to make me change my mindset and put myself first.
I am also hoping to find a support group, as I need to be able to talk about this with people, but I feel like no one in real life understands the trials and tribulations of the daily struggle I feel.
Angel, thanks so much for starting this thread. I know it is rough when you've had some changes where you lose track of what you are trying to accomplish. It is even worse when you go along and everything is the same and you keep gaining weight (my story in a nutshell). The thing is that we've got to stop putting others first and start thinking about ourselves because all this weight we don't need will catch up with us really fast sooner or later.
About Dr. Phil and his book. I like Dr. Phil, I really do. I like that he has a no nonsense approach. It seems to me that he is saying that yes you may have emotional problems that cause you to eat but you can overcome these and also that even if we do have problems that we should just smarten up and treat ourselves better. It is funny how we think about crappy food as being treats ie chocolate bars or donuts but really it is about the worst thing we could do for ourselves is to eat this stuff.
I've read through his book and done a lot of the work. I followed the rapid start plan in the food guide and it worked well for me (when I stuck to it). So what is my problem?? I really don't think I have any emotional problems associated with eating. I think I have a lot of bad habits I have to change and I have to give myself a major kick in the a$$ to stop being so lazy because honestly I think that is a lot of the problem. If I can stick to his eating plan and continue with the exercise program that I started a couple of months ago I can see that I could easily lose 8-10 lbs a month. I think that is completely realistic and I know that I could get down to my goal weight within a year.
Ok let me try this again... I had a very long and detailed post I was working on when DD (18 months) hit ESC!!!! Please bear with me if my spelling, grammer and typing are poor. I can't spell to save my life and my DD is climbing all over me trying to cram cheerios in my mouth with a very large spoon she had previously been using as a drum stick. And if I don't say "MMMMM Cheerios!" everytime she does it she grabs my face and says it over and over until I do
Hi, all! My name is Misty. I would very much like to join this thread and discuss Dr. Phil's book. I am new to the forums. Where exactly are you? Are you currently discussing chapter 1 or Part one (which includes chapters 1,2 and 3)? I guess I 'll just comment on chapter one.
This will be my third time through the book. But obviously I didn't do much with the first two readings
I'm on to chapter 2 and I am also going to try to read the prior posts from the last time the book was discussed. We'll see how how far I get before the natives are too restless. DS (10 weeks should be up from his nap soon).
I think Dr. Phil really does understand how people in my situation feel. While reading about being "pumped up" on page 7 I was thinking "That's ME!" I like how Dr. Phil says, "That's fine, but let me caution you: even if you have all of the desire or "want to" in the world, this is not enough, if you don't know "what" to do or "how" to do it." I have been there so many times, I have all the energy and excitment and "want to", but I just crash and burn like the 777 airplane he mentions. I particularly like the quote by Maya Angelou on page 8 "You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better." It allows me to release the past failures b/c I was doing what I knew how to do. Now with the new information in this book I can "do better" b/c I will "know better".
I like the notion of finding the weight that is right for me. I also like the idea that "It's not simply about just getting skinny". It's about being able to be in control finally. It's about "changing yourself from the inside out, so that being what is fit and healthy for you is as natural and normal as breathing." THAT"S WHAT I WANT! To be healthy and fit and not have to "white knuckle" my way through each day.
Chapter 1 outlines breifly the 7 keys. They all seem straight forward, but I am not sure how Key 2 will apply to me. The summary states "With the second key-healing feelings-you will unlcok the door to emotional control and learn how to break the cycle of overeating in response to emotions and stress. I am not sure I eat in response to emotions or stress. I did at one time. But I don't think I do that now. maybe I am wrong about this and we will see in Chapter 5 when we learn in depth about this key.
I am very much looking forward to mastering Key 4-Habit control. I agree with Dr. Phil when he says "At some conscious, rational level, you know that it is counterproductive and extremely unhealthy to overeat." It's so true. there are times when I am downing some ginormous pile of junky food and the whole time I am thinking, "What am I doing? I don't even want this and I am not even hungry. I know it's bad fo rme and I can almost feel my ateries clogging."
In my mind I understand what is being said about Willpower, but it's still hard to let go of the notion that I won't need it. I will try to bear in mind that "Willpower is an outright myth." and that "Willpower is unreliable emotional fuel." Dr. Phil says the 7 keys do not rely on willpower they rely on programming.
On page 19 he says, "I do not want you to think too much about the number of pounds you want to lose. What I want you to focus on is requiring more of yourself, starting right now." I like the notion he sets forth about doing this, "one meal at a time, one day at a time, one step at a time." It seems very doable. Sometimes when you think about that goal weight its so far far away. It seems like such an imposibility. Focusing on requiring more of myself in just those little phases makes it seem doable. I think it will also help me feel successful b/c I can reach those goals. Another quote I will remind myslef of in the future comes on pages 19 and 20 " You can't predict the future...You can deal only with the realities of the moment"
Welcome aboard! We are still working on Chapter One right now so you are right on time.
I agree with you on the whole "One Day At A Time" Theory. The expecting more of yourself today and not looking at the big picture. When I look at the fact that I need to lose about 100#s I get overwhelmed.
But if like this morning when I hadnt slept well last night and then dh wakes me up for stupid reasons and then I lay in bed for an hour before I really started thinking about what I was doing then I just got up and went downstairs and did the 2 mile WATP dvd. All I was thinking about was that one thing.... not that I need to only eat 1200 calories everyday for the rest of my life and doing 20 miles a day. And when I was finished I was proud of myself... not thinking I should have done this or I should do more..... Just one step at a time..... Eating the elephant.
I have decided to use this forum as my journal to some extent. I know that if I am journaling and then also trying to write on this board I won’t get it all done. So now I am combining it into one. So if I sometimes ramble with my thoughts, please bear with me. I am trying to work some of this in my head.
Ok- I sat down this morning and reread Chapter One. It was interesting the things I picked up this time that I missed the last time. The 1st time thru I highlighted what I thought was key. And while those things are still important there are other things that jump out at me this time thru. Here are my thoughts as I go thru this chapter.
On page 7 he states You have to rid yourself of that gnawing and overpowering sense of urgency and panic that always seems to appear on the scene, like ants spoiling the fun at a picnic, every time you decide to lose weight or otherwise get in shape. HELLO…. That sounds so familiar to me. I always get that anxious feeling. The feeling that I MUST DO THIS. I have to be thin by Christmas, then by Valentines Day so that I can feel sexy with my husband, or my birthday because I am not going to be fat another year, etc. Then what happens? Another year comes and goes and I am still fat or fatter for that matter. Every time I start I really think it is a “have to”. Anxiety washes up over me and makes me feel stressed which makes me want to sit on the couch in a vegetative state with ice cream in my hand….. You see a pattern here? This is what Dr Phil calls subverting your own best interest. Sabotage becomes the word of the day. I have to let go of all of this. It’s like always having my mother in my head saying “if only your were thinner you would be prettier”.
I don’t have to do a thing about this weight. I can ignore it or move on with the idea of this is where I am and this is where I will be. I have choices. I can choose to be fat or I can choose to be healthy. I want to be healthy. I think I am going to take thin out of my vocabulary. I don’t have to be thin to be sexy. I don’t have to be thin to be pretty. I don’t have to be thin to be happy…… Let me say that to myself again….. I DON’T HAVE TO BE THIN TO BE HAPPY. Wow, that is a light bulb for me. I just realized that I am not happy because to be happy I thought I had to be thin. I don’t.
I am going to be happy because I choose to be happy. It is a choice. When you choose your behavior and your thoughts, you choose the consequences that flow from those choices.
GET UP EVERY MORNING, LOOK IN THE MIRROR, AND SEE YOURSELF NOT AS SOMEONE WHO IS OVERWEIGHT OR OUT OF SHAPE, BUT AS THE SOMEONE YOU WILL BECOME, A PERSON WITH A GREATER LEVEL OF DIGINITY AND WORTH WHO, FOR PROBABLY THE FIRST TIME EVER IS FINALLY GOING TO SUCCEED – FOR A LIFETIME.
YOU DID WHAT YOU KNEW HOW TO DO, AND WHEN YOU KNEW BETTER, YOU DID BETTER - MAYA ANGELOU
Lot of thoughts here. I remember awhile back something from Zig Ziglar. It was a statement you said to yourself every morning and every evening until it become true…. It was a statement of who you were going to be…. You have to look your self in the mirror every time and say this as gospel. It was hard at first but after awhile and did become truth……. I will see if I can find it. Maybe modify it for who I want to be now.
Change from the inside out. I like that.
Your get-real weight is a state of health and well-being that is congruent and in harmony with how you are physically and genetically configured. It is a weight that is “right” for you….. Hallelujah…. Not all of us are born to be a size 1. Just like we are not all born to be 5’9” tall. Why is it we think that we should be able to fit in a size that is not for us when we know that we can’t make ourselves grow any taller than God wanted us to be? I am not meant to be a size 1. And if I was a size 1 I would look awful. I just want to be healthy. Make little steps in the right direction. Not some huge steps…. And not some steps in the wrong direction. …… And I want to celebrate all the little steps that I take. Not beat myself up thinking I should have taken more steps or done more. I should be happy and proud of every step. I should feel Blessed that today God walked with me in those steps and he was proud of me also. ( I am not a greatly religious person, I just think that I need to realize that I am not as alone as I always thought).
(All this and I have only made it to page 9)
Last edited by Angel26519; 11-04-2004 at 11:30 AM.
Angel, you provided a light bulb moment for me. I DON'T HAVE TO BE THIN TO BE HAPPY! I can choose to be happy now. I don't have to be satisfied with being over weight, but I don't have to be unhappy about EVERYTHING in life just b/c I am over weight. I too am removing "thin" from my mind set. I am aiming for healthy.
Misty - WATP.... Walk Away The Pounds.... DVD/Video by Leslie Sansone. It is pretty good. You Basically walk 2 miles in your livingroom. Dont need a lot of space either.
I am glad that my light bulbs lit up someone else also...
Hi Guys! THis is from another thread from back about a year and half ago. Before Dr Phil's Book Came Out. Thought You might have an interest.
Here is what I wrote down about Dr Pihl's Weight Lose philosphy... this is from an Oprah show that he was on back in June 2001..... (I have a motivational journal where I write all the things that is going to make me do this.... OK I am anal retentive... lol)
#1 YOU EITHER GET IT OR YOU DONT
****You are overweight because you set yourself up to be...
****You may have a fear of NOT Failing... Of being thin and then having no excuses....
****Being overweight is unnatural.... You have to work at being overweight.....
****The key element in being overweightis your emotions.
****You have designed your life to be this way. (IE: Your emotions, your lifestyle, your eating choices, etc.)
#2 You cant change what you dont acknowledge.
****When do you abuse food???? Know this and you will be able to start to have control....
****Its not what you eat so much as why you eat.
****You have to get real about why you eat what you eat.
****What is your payoff for eating?
****You are eating for a reason.
****If you have a need you will find a way to fill it.
Until you get rid of the fear, until you get real with yourself, you will continue to feed the monster.
#3 HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF?
****You have to changeyour internal dialog. You have to acknowledge that what you say to yourself will effect you.
****Put the food down and go heal that disfigurement inside.
****If you are overweight that means that you are out of control. Being overweight is an unnatural state.
****The magic is you. There is something in you when you make a life decision.
****Visualize yourself as thin & Beautiful.
****Visualize yourself daily doing what needs to be done.
Dr Phils Five Step Strategy
#1 Set a Very Specific Goal.
****Remember that losing weight requires a change in thought and behavior so set goals for your emotions and weight.
****Dont set vague goals. How much do you want to weigh? How do you want to feel? Visualize all of this.
****Use this visualization to feel your commitment & inner strength.
#2 Work out a very specific strategy.
****Willpower doesnt work. To lose weight and keep it off you must have a plan of attack.
****Plan ahead. get rid of expandable clothes, stay away from fast food, keep healthy food in your pantry, etc.
#3 Identify small measuralbe steps.
****Implement steps that will fit your lifestyle, not somebody elses.
****Be sure to move toward a positive goal, not just away from being fat. Every step you take will bring you closer to being what you want to be.
#4 Create a healthy, realisitc timeline.
****Where do you see yourself in a month? 6 months? a year? Fit your goals to your calender & Stick to it.
****Dont expect to see huge results overnight - take time to change your lifestyle.
#5 Create a meaningful monitoring and accountability.
****If you know you have to report to someone you are more likely to stick to it.
****Go public with someone you trust.
GET TO THE BOTTOM OF WHY YOU OVEREAT. WHAT EMOTIONAL TRIGGER HAS BEEN HIT.....
Do you keep alot of junk food around?
Is there no alloted time for working out?
Is your clothing expandable so that you can grow into them?
Ok I probably just summed up his whole book and he is going to hate me.... I am sure there will be alot more than just this.... These notes of mine came from a series of Oprah shows that he did for a few weeks one a week.....
It is going to be a great book and I think if you read the book with an open mind and actually do the things he recommends to find the emotional aspects of it all (and not just right the notes like I have so far) I think this will work for so many.....
He is apparently also going to focus on this alot this season on his show.... Supposedly there is an 80% success rate for those who truly follow his program.....
I dont know if he is going to have specific eating or exercise programs... it should be interesting....
I just wanted to also say thank you for bringing this up and reminding me I had these notes.... I am going to go look at them again.... and start trying to figure this out....
__________________
Great Notes, Angel! I'll be sure to refer to them often as we continue our way through the book. Are we still working on chapter one? When we start Chapter two will we be starting a new thread? I have chapter two read, but I don't want to miss anyone's thoughts on chapter one. Angel will you be responsible for getting us started on Chapter Two revisited?
I had a half pound gain this week. No biggie in my mind though b/c I exerscised 6 days and I ate well. I did what I could do. I didn't get fat overnight so it will take time for the weight to come back off. I'm not upset at all about the gain. Ok maybe a bit disappointed, but not upset.
Have a great day all! I'll check back soon to see where everyone is at.
~Misty
Last edited by MistySeptember; 11-08-2004 at 02:59 PM.
Chapter One Revisited
