Originally posted by ShihtzuX2
I never realized it before, but when that happens, in part, I'm rebelling against the voice of my mother (!!) against when she'd frown at me and say, You don't need that! Or when she'd give me half a piece of something and my brother a whole piece. These binges in part are a way of thumbing my nose at her (at those attitudes and voices of hers I've internalized) and saying, Shut up, mom! I can eat the biggest or the best piece, screw everybody else. I *deserve* it! I can even eat the whole thing if I want!
Wow, epiphany! [/B]
Holy wow epiphany! I've never thought of it like that, but that used to happen to me too - my brother got the seconds and the big pieces, and I got the talk. And I didn't like that. And now I'm starting to think that there may be some part of me that still doesn't like that and still wants the big piece. Wow - talk about giving me something to think about...thanks so much ShihtzuX2...very insightful.
Shiztu- that is exactly how I feel about "will power" as I expressed in my previous post, and your comment about the internal voice was right on the money!
Location: I am from 29 Palms, California... but now live in Northeast, Ohio
Posts: 2,107
S/C/G: SW-245.5/CW-209/GW-170
Height: 5'5"
Hi gang!
Hi
Just wanted to let everyone know how very much I have enjoyed all your posts! I don't have to say anything, because you all have covered it already... so cool how we all think so much alike, isn't it?! I too am going to print up this whole thread and keep them to refer to. I think I mentioned that I was gonna in an earlier post (sorry for repeating myself). I have been gone the last couple days from posting because of funerals, two dear friends in two days! So I was thrilled to have you all to come back to. It is much healthier then eating myself into a coma - which is what I used to do with this kind of stress.
Sunny,
I'm so sorry to hear about your friends. This has to be a really difficult time for you. I'll pray for you, that the Lord gives you strength and peace.
Nikki
Location: I am from 29 Palms, California... but now live in Northeast, Ohio
Posts: 2,107
S/C/G: SW-245.5/CW-209/GW-170
Height: 5'5"
Thank you so very much Nikki and Terri... you are so very kind. I am okay really... much better then I would be if I didn't have God & all of your support. They were family friends that lived very good & beautiful lives - no regrets. I will miss them so much, but know that they lived great lives and are now in a better place. Thank you again.
Just want to share some encouraging words...
I have been to allot fo forum sites and lurked, just to get a feel of how people are with one another --- do you all know how blessed we are to have such a beautiful forum to belong to - with so many wonderful people?! The one I was a part of before... if someone didn't like you or agree with your point of view instead of agreeing to diagree they were very unkind. NOT HERE! People here are very giving and open to differences and I just think it is so nice! Thanks for having such big hearts!
Thank you Suzanne, Jennifer and Amy for putting together an awesome forum!!!
So many good posts here from the first of this book. Seems like everyone feels much the same.
Get real weight: I have struggled with this somewhat but I believe I understand where he is coming from. I know that when I think of my ideal weight -- 115 - 120 -- in my mind I see myself as I was when I was in my early 20's. That is not real -- I am mid 50's now -- who knows I might be able to get to 120 pounds and that would be great -- but my face is never going to look like that -- I have aged. So for the get real weight -- I think we have to look at where we are now -- age wise -- and not put a number on the scale with a face that is not our current one.
Willpower: I really liked what he said on page 18
Willpower is unreliable emotional fuel that drie you when you are excited, motivated, or energized. Wilpower is what temporarily pumps you up when you want to lose weight in two weeks so you' look good for a class renuinion, or when you join a gym because you made a New Year's resolution to start exercisng.
Willpower has never been my strong suit -- I know it is just plain life changes / changed habits that work best for me.
Goal setting: I believe he said it all in that part of the book. I think that for those that are wanting to be serious about their weight, and are wanting to first turn to Christ, and then also use this book for help, then we have to work through his 'homework' -- do what he suggests re setting goals. And we have to be realistic about them.
I like the following quote he makes on page 24:
If you are truly out of shape and you don't like it, then having a negative body mage may mean that you are taking a realistic view of yourself -- a good think actually. It's only a problem if you don't work to improve it. So the fact that you don't like what you see in the mirris is a powerful catalyst for becoming fitter, healtheir, and better looking. You can't heal what you don't acknowledge.
I know for myself, I have been working a Christian 12 Step Program (2nd time around now) and have started incorporating Dr. Phil's book into my daily reading quiet time. Journaling has really helped me these last 2 weeks.
I started reading the book on September 12 -- and have only read to the end of Key #2 as I am wanting to take it slow and apply what I am learning.
I got excited, I weighed myself -- 267.5 when I started on this new program. Seven days went past and I saw that I had learned a lot about myself and I decided to get weighed thinking that of course I would have a loss and a good one. Low and behold -- no loss -- a gain - I was up 1 pound - 268.5. Somewhat disappointed I decided I am not going to give up, I need to keep journaling and continue with what is present before me -- I need to get my thinking turned around -- my internal dialogue. So for the next 7 days I started working on this some more. Meantime I had made a promise with myself that I was going to be committed to some form of exercise every day for 30 minutes each day. Looking back on my exercise chart what do I see -- 13 days out of 14 I have walked for 30 minutes!! Am I putting myself down for missing a day -- not at all -- I am lifting myself up because I have accomplished something I have never done before. Being Friday, I decided to once again check out those 'scales -- see if the numbers have changed -- but not really expecting them to have changed. Surprise -- I have lost 2 pounds -- so I lost the pound I gained and I am 1 below where I started when I started journaling my thoughts.
I am seeing that this is not all about food -- the food is just a byproduct of a life style that I chose -- I am working on learning why I chose this life style (and has that every been an eye opener in the last 7 days) and have done a lot of work on changing my thinking -- putting everything into the right perspective. Do I have a goal for next week with respect to my weight -- not really. I know what I am working towards - the end result -- and I know the effort I am having to put into it -- I know that with Christ's help and also the help of this new book and listening to Dr. Phil on TV I will achieve the end result -- so when I get on the scale next week it is only a minor thing whether the numbers are down, the same or even up a little -- the important thing is 'have I made some life changes -- am I changing habits that have hurt me and replaced them with habits that will benefit me --
Bless you all on this journey -- looking forward to continuing this journey with all of you and reading this book with you. May you all be blessed with reaching what ever it is that you are reaching for.
I am also reading the book slowly and writing as I go. I didn't realize I had so many poor imges of myself-I am only 3 lbs away from my goal weight but I want to go 3 lbs below-my problem isn;t losing-it's maintaining. This is the third time I have had to lose weight-good thing is that I only went half way up this time. That's progress. Helps to have a husband who isn't overweight. But he can eat things I can't so ther is food in the house that I can't eat. But he is very nice about what I cook. Thanks for the posts. Mima
Two more days to summarize what we think, feel and learned on this first journey of our walk together. We start on Key One Monday.... I am looking forward to this also...
With all the changes going on in my life right now I havent been able to be online as much! I have loved all the posts and you guys have really made me think alot! I hope it has been as beneficial to everyone else. I think I am learning so much from all of this.... not just Dr Phil's Book but the posts and replies...the interaction that we have all had.... it has been interesting when you have posted stuff that I have thought and didnt even realize that I thought that.... it opened up my eyes even more and made me think even more.... WOW!!!!!
I do want to sincerely thank everyone for there honest participation... I truly believe that if we come to this forum with an open heart and mind.... with a true willingness to learn and heal that we will be so much better off next year.
Thank you again ladies.... be proud of yourself.... you have stepped in the right direction!
OK, so i'm slow! Sorry but i did want to join in and give my 2 cents worth. But i slightly have an excuse. I found out this week that I have mononucleosis and that is why I've been feeling so awful. So I have to get lots of sleep and take care of myself and this is consuming me a little. I'm still working 2 jobs/6 days a week so i sleep whenever else I can.
This weeks discussion: Part One: Unlocking the Door to Permanent Weight Loss
Was there anything he said in these chapters that really stood out to you and why? I don't have the book in front of me but there were SO many things he said that jumped out at me! I think it's his writing style but also I think he speaks honestly. The thing that stood out the most was how he said this isn't a quick fix, and he doesn't want us to be anxious and desperate and all gung ho. I know this feeling and before I read this, after watching his shows about the program I had this feeling already. I know it's going to be a gradual and difficult change but a worthwhile and lasting one.
"It's about changing yourself from the inside out" OK, this is a new concept, but it makes so much sense. I went to OA for awhile because I know I have food issues but I never really related because I don't identify as a compulsive "overeater", but that doesn't mean i don't still have issues. I'm ready to look at the real reason that i've allowed this to happen to me.
"Your Goal Weight is a state of health and well-being that is congruent and in harmony with how you are physically and genetically configured. Thank you Lord for someone to finally look at it this way. Maybe the stick-thin anorexic look won't be so glorified if more people understood their real weight. I want to be happy and healthy, not sickly and skinny.
"Your job is to unlock each door, step through it with a commitment to change and to keep moving forward until you've walked through all seven" I think to myself that even though I've read the overview of the 7 keys i'm not really sure what i'm in for, but i'm willing to be vulnerable and do this. For me! I'm worth the work!
"What is your personal truth?" My personal truth would take too long to describe and a part of me is not sure I really definitely know my personal truth yet. I'm going to have to write this one down and pray about it.
What do you guys think of Dr Phils comment about not need willpower and that willpower doesn't work..... I think, Yeah Dr.Phil, stop making people feel like they are not empowered, that we failed, that we didn't stick to it. Yes, you have to try and have the want, but willpower is a negative thing in my opinion.
I'm reading through the chapter, over are over and highlighting things that stick out to me. That helps me later when i go over it and see the key points that meant something to me. And I'm not reading too far ahead either.
You have all had really open and wonderful comments and I commend all of you for being so open and honest, it's hard to do, even in this forum. We should all be proud of ourselves, i certainly am of all of you!
but I never really related because I don't identify as a compulsive "overeater", but that doesn't mean i don't still have issues.
I have to THANK YOU immensely for writing this. I know this about myself but never put it in "words" and seeing them written really hit me between the eyes. I never identify as a compulsive overeater either. In fact in my mind I am slim!!!! I eat with slim friends and never eat more than them, usually less. I really allowed myself to fool myself.
Dear Kim,
I know how you feel because I was surprised that these charts seem no different from others out there. Remember, I believe Dr. Phil consulted with other doctors on this. I also wish they had provided a guide to see if one is small, medium or large frame because this is what I am not sure of. I believe you are the best person to judge your weight goal...150 sounds reasonable. Looking at your stats, you should be proud of what you have accomplished thus far and keep going until you reach your personal goal. It would be hard that any doctor would have a problem with you getting down to 150. I would think they should be very proud of you and you should be proud of yourself. We tend to get very hung up on numbers. I weigh about five pounds more than I did last year, yet I fit into a pair of jeans today that I couldn't last year. Please don't get discouraged. I wish the best for everyone here doing this and all the challengers on the Dr. Phil show. I'm dealing with a lot of stuff while reading and I'm beginning to catch myself especially with the emotional part and the impulse eating. Good luck to you KFS (Kim) and everyone else.
Re: More on Phil
Hi gang!
I too am going to print up this whole thread and keep them to refer to. I think I mentioned that I was gonna in an earlier post (sorry for repeating myself). I have been gone the last couple days from posting because of funerals, two dear friends in two days! So I was thrilled to have you all to come back to. It is much healthier then eating myself into a coma - which is what I used to do with this kind of stress. 
