I'm curious, how many of you who have been at this for a while, really do eat only whole grains in rice, and pasta?
I'd say 90%. I actually prefer the brown/whole grain versions now. The regular versions taste gummy to me.
I'm trying to think of the last time I ate non-whole grain.
I had sourdough loaf with my salad at the deli last week. And I had a few bites of white rice when DH and I went to PF Chang's a few weeks ago (right after T'giving). But it wasn't really what I was in the mood for, and I stuck with my shrimp and broccoli for the most part.
I honestly really do eat about 90% to 95% whole grains and brown rice.
I think simple sayings are simple for a reason. They're shorthand. Once you've spent months or years losing weight and finding what works for you, a short, simple saying is a quick reminder for you. On the other hand, when you're new or struggling with something, you need details and options to explore. Short and sweet isn't what you need. But short and sweet is perfect later on, and keeps you on track.
I don't think they're meant to be all you need to know to lose weight. They're meant to highlight the bottom line.
But of course, that won't stop people from telling you that's all you need to know. Maybe they don't know better, maybe they mean to be insulting (perhaps subconsciously), maybe they want to help and don't know what else to say. Maybe it just works really well for them and they don't realize everyone is different. It is certainly hard to struggle so much with something and be misunderstood.
Often I think the problem with plattitudes is that they're such shorthand, that there's little real truth or helpfulness in them, because often the opposite plattitude is just as true.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Out of sight, out of mind
And some of the diet plattitudes are just as open to interpretation, misinterpretation, and exceptions to the rule, or cases that don't fit it.
Still, I don't think that it's generally productive to get upset when folks spout plattitudes. There are a lot of reasons they do. Sometimes just to fill dead air space - when people don't know what to say, they often use plattitudes (think of some of the crazy stuff people say at funerals - my MIL was told "at least you've got your dogs" after her husband died). Sometimes because the "long answer" would take weeks to explain. And yes, sometimes even in condescension.
Weight loss is complicated, and we want it simple. But, can you imagine asking a physicists in casual conversation at the bus stop to explain "how physics works," in the five minutes it will take for the bus to arrive.
Sustainable weight loss cannot be condensed into a sound bite. Asking how a person lost 50 lbs, might be the equivalent of asking an architect how he learned to design buildings. What exactly do you want to know, how much detail do you want, and how much time do you have? Do you want the five minute answer, or the 8 year graduate degree version? And if you're getting the five minute answer, you need to realize that it probably isn't going to give you all the information you need to start designing your own skyscrapers.
There is not one thing that I eat or don't eat 100% of the time. There is no way for me to explain "my plan" in one sentence or 10. There are almost always exceptions to my hardcore, steadfast, rules.
BTW, I have never eaten whole grain pasta. Never, not once. I eat pasta sooooo infrequently, that when I do have it, it's the regular white stuff. And the few times that I have had it, I did not practice "moderation".
I eat whole grain about 75% of the time. I always eat whole wheat bread and cereal, but I do not eat wholegrain pasta. However, I have pasta about once a month or less. Rice is mostly brown, but if I'm making Thai curry I use regular basmati. When I'm out, I eat whole grain or brown rice if available, but if not I do not sweat it. I eat 1/2 a cup as my serving so that much white rice is not going to kill me.
As for the platitudes, I have found that a lot of people out and about ask the question, "What did you do to lose so much weight?" However, when I actually give a detailed answer to, say, the checker at the grocery store who recently asked me, they don't want to listen when you tell them you, yes, actually count calories and eat mostly whole foods and do 45 minutes of cardio every day and strength train 3x a week. And often, they say, "Well what are you doing now that you're done?" Except, I'm not done. I won't be done -- I'll never be done because this is forever, and so I say I am doing pretty much the same thing but I've added some more calories to stop my weight loss. Just about then their eyes glaze over and they stop listening or say, "I can't live on a diet for the rest of my life!" And when you say this is not a diet, they say things like "You are eating salad everyday for lunch...that is a diet! I need something I can do for the next ____ number of weeks so I can lose weight for my daughter's wedding/class reunion/fill in the blank." So I find myself using platitudes...not as simple as eat less, move more...but close, because it is really hard to explain that this is a life change not a quick fix...and a lot of people don't want a life change, they want a quick fix. We live in the ultimate "quick fix" society.
It doesn't take in the complexitites of a lot of people's relationships with food. Sometimes I think, if only I could simplify my thoughts down to that, how much more at peace would I be!
I get asked ALL the time how I lost the weight. All the time. My stock one line answer is, and yes it IS just one little line, "I eat really, really well and exercise often". Yes, it's a tiny sentence, but I think that sums it up nice and neatly. There are people who are scared off right away and I OFTEN get the same type response as Schumeany does, and those who want to hear more. The ones that want to hear more details, usually get scared off pretty quickly thereafter. The thought of preparing ahead of time, counting calories, all that cooking, packing up lunches and snacks and so on, the thought of physcial activity most days of the week - they say "I could NEVER do that. I could NEVER live like that. I want to enjoy my life". At that point I usually want to SCREAM, but somehow keep it in check. I say something to the affect of, "Do you really think I'm not enjoying my life now? I LOVE the foods that I eat. Love em'. It's no hardship."
As far as why I don't eat whole grains, is because I don't (hardly) ever eat any grains. Grains for me, of any type is a real, real rarity. I don't do well with them. I overeat them. They are not satifying and they bring on too many cravings. Not even the whole wheat variety. So be it. Oy. And when people hear that one, it's always, "but I LOVE bread". And I say, "so do I. But it doesn't work for me. I LOVE it, but IT doesn't love ME."
Whenever I hear that one, I think of Oprah Winfrey. She's said many times, that "believe me, if there were a magic pill, I wouldv'e had it. I've got lots of money and trust me, I would have found it."
Something else comes up to me on this topic. Not a magic pill, per se', but a "secret" that I was unaware of. I was recently doing some writing (prompted by a thread here, started by junebug). Anyway I believe I wrote something like this:
The biggest secret of all, the biggest thing not one single person ever told me. The big secret I wasn't privy to was:
That I had the ability to lose the weight the whole time. The whole time! I, *me* was acutally capable of it. Who knew? I didn't. No one ever told me. Soooo glad I finally figured it out on my own.
The biggest secret of all, the biggest thing not one single person ever told me. The big secret I wasn't privy to was:
That I had the ability to lose the weight the whole time. The whole time! I, *me* was acutally capable of it. Who knew? I didn't. No one ever told me. Soooo glad I finally figured it out on my own.
This is so true and the reason that I didn't even try for so many years. I had so many excuses, reasons why I couldn't - shouldn't even try. And society always had lots of validation of my excuses constantly flashing before me.
I have enjoyed reading this thread - there has been much good discussion here. I have little insight to add to the wisdom already shared.
Jay - I appreciate your highlighting that there should be joy on this journey. And I appreciate EVERYONE that helped me understand that it IS a journey - not a diet - that this is a change in my lifestyle - not something that I could / should do until I hit my goal. Maintenance was a whole new concept for me.
With that information in hand early on, the changes I made were very different from any previous attempt at losing weight. I gave up nothing - that is no food became taboo. Portion control and balance became my focus. This "carbaholic" needed to learn that fats (healthy fats) were important. That she needed more protein and more fiber as well. That vegetable is not a four letter word. Once I learned to balance my eating - food cravings, emotional and mindless eating became a thing of the past. Once I learned to balance my life (and exercise was an important component that was missing), the rest fell into place.
When people ask, my short answer is usually "calorie counting, exercise, and prayer". If they ask for more information, I explain about balance - that balance in everything seems to be the "key" for me. Balancing body, mind, and Spirit - balancing my eating, work, activity, respite time. The idea that I could/should take time for each of these things, that others might suffer because I was taking time from them was a difficult one to comprehend for me. I finally "got it" - that I HAD to balance my time and efforts in a way that devoted enough time to ME.
Learning balance and taking joy in each step of the journey is the new trick that this "old dog" finally learned.
Last edited by CountingDown; 01-01-2009 at 10:46 AM.
I get asked ALL the time how I lost the weight. All the time. My stock one line answer is, and yes it IS just one little line, "I eat really, really well and exercise often". Yes, it's a tiny sentence, but I think that sums it up nice and neatly.
That is so close to my answer "I eat super healthy most of the time and I exercise a lot." Whaddya know?
I've learned to toss out this quick answer for a few reasons. 1) I think many people are casually curious and don't really want to hear the gritty details. 2) People who REALLY want to know will either press me for details and then ask specific questions or press me for details and then go into a litany of excuses. Excuses make me impatient. 3) My specifics work FOR ME but they might not work for other people anyway.
My usual answer is something along the lines of "I eat well and exercise." I don't usually get the excuses or the "I can't do that." I usually get some kind of nod and mmm-hmm that says, "Yeah. I knew that was the answer." More resignation than objection.
I do know one guy who keeps asking me if I'm still on a diet, because he likes to provide food (pizza, shakes, cookies). I keep telling him, I'll always be eating well, *and* I can eat anything, if I want. But it seems to go in one ear and out the other. The next time I talk to him, he'll be wanting to bring some junk food and asking me if I'm still on a diet
That is so close to my answer "I eat super healthy most of the time and I exercise a lot." Whaddya know?
I've learned to toss out this quick answer for a few reasons. 1) I think many people are casually curious and don't really want to hear the gritty details. 2) People who REALLY want to know will either press me for details and then ask specific questions or press me for details and then go into a litany of excuses. Excuses make me impatient. 3) My specifics work FOR ME but they might not work for other people anyway.
This has been such an awesome thread!
I could not agree with you more about people not being interested in the very last detail. By giving a shorter answer I'm giving them an easy out of what they really wanted to know, which is "what diet did you use". They very much want to hear a simple answer because they want a simple solution, which at least for me wasn't really the case. Explaining my "plan" is kind of complicated and yes, excuse inducing. I scared off my fair share of interested parties this way. And to your third point, this is so true. So true. I began this journey in a very unconventional way and it took me a while to realize that my practice wouldn't work for everyone and some people probably wondered where I got my crazy hat.
You know, my BIL actually does want to know every last detail. At least in a way. He keeps asking me to lay out a menu plan for him. I keep brushing it off. Create his whole menu plan??? What do I know about a menu plan for an ex-marine who is probably 6'sumthin" 250+ pounds??? Who is a big meat eater (he hunts and has a deer head hanging in his garage) while I'm vegetarian??? Whose dinner recipes that I provide will just be work for my overworked sister (like I would do that to her)!!!
I didn't mean that to sound like I was mad, it's more flabbergasted Maybe I'm just frustrated that there isn't anything simple I can do to help him. Because I'd like to help. But the truth is most of my life went on hold while I learned how to do this and worked on it full time. Each person has to reach the point where it means *that* much to them if necessary.
Maybe I'm just frustrated that there isn't anything simple I can do to help him. Because I'd like to help. But the truth is most of my life went on hold while I learned how to do this and worked on it full time. Each person has to reach the point where it means *that* much to them if necessary.
