It was if I had finally made a decision. And once I made the decision that was it. There was no more option. There still isn't an option. (snip) I not only see it, but I know it. Down to my core.
I wish I could be this positive, but this is exactly how I felt three years ago when I lost 70 lbs and kept it off almost a year. This time I will have to be on maintenance at least 3-5 years before I believe I'm really going to stick with it.
What I love about 3FC isn't that we're on a shared journey per se (because some of our journeys are very, very different from one anothers'), but what IS important is that we're all fellow travelers, and there's a kinship in that, that is hard to define, but very precious to me, nonetheless.
/signed.
Fellow travelers. I like that. I'll have to wave out of the back of my car and see how many fellow travelers wave back!
It was if I had finally made a decision. And once I made the decision that was it. There was no more option. There still isn't an option. It's one direction (even if there are a few pitstops along the way).
There's that saying "hindsight is 20/20", but this is the one time in my life I feel I can see 20/20 going into the future. I not only see it, but I know it. Down to my core.
OMG. That's also EXACTLY what I say. I've even said it here, dozens of time.
I made the decision to lose the weight - once and for all. Just realized that I didn't have to be fat if I didn't want to be. And I decided that I was going to lose the weight (and keep it off). And I was relieved. I was excited and relieved. Because I knew, having made that decision that the end of my misery was nearing. I had never felt that way before about it. Not even close.
I don't think that this time for me, started out with the kind of confidence that I had in earlier attemps. Every time was the "last time," and determination (or was it maybe arrogance), actually worked against me.
I've always done well in everything I tried, except weight loss. I was stumped as to how graduate school and working several jobs were easy compared to weight loss. I just didn't understand why determination wasn't working in weight loss, why wasn't it like everything else in my life.
I think what first gave me a glimmer of hope was accidentally losing about 20 lbs after having to quit my job for health issues and using a CPAP at night for sleep apnea (the pulmonologist said I might lose some weight without trying just by getting better sleep - I don't know if it was the better sleep or not eating out of the vending machine at work that was responsible - I think both).
I have never, never, never lost weight accidentally before. I think it made me realize that small changes could make big differences. It took another three years after the accidental weight losss to find a food plan that works for me. If anything, I have a lot less motivation and determination than ever before, and it shows in my weight loss. It's been slow and sporadic (but I haven't backtracked more than a few pounds of normal fluctuation). I think for me, I decided that I might not be able to lose much more weight than I have already, but I could keep off what I have lost.
This year, I want to put more focus onto weight loss to get off more than the 40 lbs that I lost last year - or at least match last year's 40 lbs.
It is interesting, I think that even the attitudes of those being successful at weight loss are different. There are those who needed confidence for it to work, and there are others like me who needed humility. There are those who needed determination, and others who like me had to learn to work smarter, not harder (Determination often got me into eating disordered and unsustainable habits).
It really is a wonder that there are so few researchers trying to study the differences between overweight dieters, instead of trying to find a one-size-fits-all program that works for everyone. I think, like headaches, overweight isn't a symptom of one disorder (physical, mental, emotional, or social), but of several. And that treatments that work on all dieters are going to be as impossible as treatments that are effective (and beneficial, not just putting a bandaid over a gaping chest wound) for all headaches (whether caused by migraines or brain tumor? Not likely).
Every time was the "last time," and determination (or was it maybe arrogance), actually worked against me.
From dictionary.com:
ar⋅ro⋅gance /ˈærəgəns/ [ar-uh-guhns] –noun
offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.
I really can't say that I heard arrogance in anyone who posted (myself included) that they were CERTAIN in the fact that they were going to lose the weight "this time". I'm sorry if it came off that way. Like I said, it's really something that was hard to explain.
I was only speaking of MY arrogance. I wasn't ascribing the state to anyone but myself. And I meant it, as in cockiness or overconfidence- the pride that comes before a fall, so to speak - And again only talking about myself, not anyone else.
I was more pointing out how people's weight loss experience can be VERY different, and the very thing that can keep someone from success, may be someone else's secret to success.
I was only speaking of MY arrogance. I wasn't ascribing the state to anyone but myself. And I meant it, as in cockiness or overconfidence- the pride that comes before a fall, so to speak - And again only talking about myself, not anyone else.
I was more pointing out how people's weight loss experience can be VERY different, and the very thing that can keep someone from success, may be someone else's secret to success.
I agree with Kaplods...that's exactly how I felt last time. I was so overjoyed at my new body and health I thought I will NEVER gain the weight back again. But I did. My overconfidence was just a state of mind...not reality. And maybe it was the overconfidence or cockiness that defeated me...because I stopped being so wary.
I was only speaking of MY arrogance. I wasn't ascribing the state to anyone but myself. And I meant it, as in cockiness or overconfidence- the pride that comes before a fall, so to speak - And again only talking about myself, not anyone else.
I was more pointing out how people's weight loss experience can be VERY different, and the very thing that can keep someone from success, may be someone else's secret to success.
I understand what you're saying. I just wanted to apologize if it came off to any one in that way (the sense of superiority or self importance), and therefore was offensive, as that was not my intention.
I understand what you're saying. I just wanted to apologize if it came off to any one in that way (the sense of superiority or self importance), and therefore was offensive, as that was not my intention.
Thank for the concern, but I definitely didn't get that from your post or anyone else's. That's why this thread has been so fun, there's been little to no judgement on what works for one person, that would have had the exact opposite effect for someone else.
So often on other boards, and in reality I get this vibe from some folks of "you're doing it WRONG because you're not doing it the way I did it."
Colleen, I know where you are coming from. It amazes me how many 3FC are VERY successful in other areas of their lives. Weight loss was the only real area in my life where I felt like a failure.
I finally realized that I had to make it a priority and devote time and attention to it - to treat it like any other "project" in my life. Plan, execute, evaluate, repeat.
I finally realized that I had to make it a priority and devote time and attention to it - to treat it like any other "project" in my life. Plan, execute, evaluate, repeat.
Exactly. I had to give it my ALL. Treat it like my very life depended on it. And ya know what? Probably because as I was getting older & more frightened of health issues cropping up - I realized that my life DID depend on it.
I have been keeping up with this thread over the last few days and have learned a few things...well, honestly, I learn a lot from the site in general but it is nice to see the 'conversation' going on between those that have lost weight and maintained that weight loss.
I was one of those people that thought I could just eat what I have been eating, just less. I appreciate the candid response here, though (not that anyone was talking to me, but I appreciated it anyway ) - I cannot simply eat less! I have to totally change the way I am eating.
Funny, I am okay with that. I am 40 yo and currently have no health issues other than being about 70-80 pounds overweight (depending on which 'normal' weight scale you use). I am, however, tired. Really, really tired.
I love the advice some of you give - I won't name you 'cause I will forget someone but please don't stop. I know it can be frustrating to listen to all of our excuses for not doing what we know we need to do but don't give up on us! You are all VERY inspiring - even though some of you are more modest than others!
Also, I love, love what countingdown said: plan, execute, evaluate, repeat... if you don't mind, that will be my new mantra.
The only way I've ever been successful before (not counting this attempt) is to make weight loss pretty much not only my top priority, but my only priority. Everything else had to go in the toilet for me to lose weight, and sacrificing everything was just too high a price to pay. Eventually, I would get sick of sacrifice. I didn't necessarily want it all, but I at least wanted some of everything life had to offer - family, friends, education, career - having to give nearly all of it up, in order to lose weight was just too much.
On low carb eating, I don't have to sacrifice everything else. I can control hunger to a reasonable level. I've been stubborn and wanting to prove to myself that I can occasionally have high carb foods, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that I really can't - not if I want to be able to have a balanced life. I can either eat a lower carb diet, and be able to have the energy for other things, or I can eat a high carb diet and constantly be battling with food for domination of my life (where either eating or not eating is consuming all of my time and effort).
I did have to learn to work smarter, not harder - but darn it bad habits, really do die hard. But I'm learning, and I will get there, eventually.
I just wanted to say thank you, everyone, for having this discussion. I've been keeping track since it began, and everyone has really given me a lot to think about. This thread definitely deserves a "Best Of" award. Please know that you've offered so much, thank you!
I just wanted to share my...kick in the pants I guess? When I got out of high school I was at my highest weight, and I'll say it...360 pounds or more. I was so afraid to see the scale hit 400 that I stopped weighing myself. I had tried everything..atkins, weight watchers, south beach...over and over.
Then I fell for this boy...and pop 80 plus pounds gone. o_o! It was just because I was going to his place after work everyday, going out and doing stuff...But then as the 'puppy love' began to fade I got lazy again and maintained. Now my kick in the pants is my pancreantitis attack in March, caused by triglycerides. Because I'm stubborn I was within two hours of my life...the hospital didn't even give me a room cause they didn't think I'd make it. My blood sugar was also around 900...at 22...actually on my 22nd birthday.
I think everyone has to have THAT kick in the pants for themselves you know? Over the holidays were HORRIBLE for me. I mean absolutely, but the fact that I'm getting right back into it? It's all from that kick in the pants in March. And of course the boy. Not to mention the upcoming wedding. I think people just need to find what's important to them, you know? Because all of us are so different...So my seven words? 'Improving my life by bettering my health.'
I'll have to wave out of the back of my car and see how many fellow travelers wave back! 
) - I cannot simply eat less! I have to totally change the way I am eating. 
