I think there's also the element of "I can't do X until Y". Like "I can't" woman from across the hall. She won't even do the 5 minutes on the treadmill. We were talking about families going to a local park for their Christmas show. She said her boyfriend wanted her to walk down the mountain with him (it's a walking trail down this big limestone dome - not a real mountain). And she said "But I can't until I've been exercising a while."
So we're kinda giving her crap about it ... you can't walk down a paved trail until you've been to the gym? So are you going to the gym? Well, no I can't until after Christmas. Why not? Because I can't get proper gym clothes until ... etc., etc., etc. So what about walking around your neighborhood. See the gym clothing excuse.
Etc. For some people it doesn't matter if it's big or small ... they just "can't".
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Last edited by PhotoChick; 12-30-2008 at 04:15 PM.
I've been that person who 'can't do x until y' in the past, and it got me exactly nowhere. The exercise clothes used to be a big thing for me - I couldn't go to the gym until I had exercise clothes that looked 'presentable', I couldn't get 'presentable' exercise clothes until I lost some weight so I didn't feel like one of those over stuffed sausages. (Obviously, I wasn't shopping for the right exercise clothes, either... ) Well, today I went to the local park in hot pink spandex bikerish shorts, an orange t-shirt left over from my stint working for The Home Depot and a thin purple and grey sweatshirt. Felt great, had a great time, didn't care how I looked. I passed one woman a few times who obviously had the 'presentable' new exercise clothes. Didn't look like they were doing her much good as she sat on the bench talking on the phone.
Right now DH is in a 'just can't' place. It is hard to get out of once you get entrenched in it.
I think seperating the true "I can't"s from the "I don't want to until"s is very difficult for many people. Some of it because it's drilled into us by social expectations, and others because of that mistranslation I was talking about and other mental games we play with ourselves, like adding conditions onto our goals.
I've done it with writing my novel. When I was working, I said "I can't write my novel, because I don't have the time. If I had the time, I would write." Well, now I'm on disability and have all of the time in the world, and I'm still not sitting down to wrie because I'm not making the time.
We hear people (sadly of all sizes) who say they "can't" swim because they "can't" be seen in public wearing a bathing suit.
What you don't want to do, or are afraid to do, certainly can feel like a true "can't," but it isn't. Knowing the difference, sometimes is the first step.
Hey kaplods, I think your novel and my novel should get together and kick us both in the rears.
Ironically, I have been using my weight loss as an excuse not to get back to my writing. I have pretty much set my book aside for the last six months, except for editing, because the time I used to spend writing -- after my kids went to bed -- I now spend exercising. But I KNOW that if I worked at it, I could find a time each week that was mine for writing...I just haven't done it.
I heard Bob Greene say "if you eat less and move more, you WILL lose weight". Bob Greene is an expert in the physical fitness field. That statement is the truth, no matter how over simplified a statement it might be. I do eat less and I do that by counting calories and I also move more, not as much as I would like because of an injury and a serious illness. I have lost a significant amount of weight by counting calories, thus eating less.
I think this is, all in all, a fabulous discussion. I'm perfectly happy to believe that weight loss is simple and complex all at the same time. I'm comfy with paradox
It's not only that they can't or they don't, but that they won't.
And nevermind what they won't do, what are they willing to do? Sadly, not enough. Willingness is very important. There's many, many things one has to be willing to do in order to lose weight. Exercise & be active, monitor calories or have some sort of restriction somewhere, pass up on temptation, STICK to a plan (be consistient) & try new things, for starters.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 12-30-2008 at 09:04 PM.
I think simple intimidations stops people from doing a lot of things they could do. Fear of being unable to accomplish a goal, keeps many people from trying.
I think that the willingness to change would be less of an obstacle for many folks, if they realized how small the changes can be to get started. No, you can't lost 100 lbs, become a marathon runner, a concert pianist, or a published novelist in a week. Each begins with much smaller steps, but people think they have to make HUGE steps and make dramatic progress immediately, and if they aren't able to do both, they give up, because "it's no use."
I just wanted to say hi to Ennay! I haven't seen you around forever.
Great discussion. Personally I have lazed myself into a nice holiday gain... I haven't been counting or for that matter doing much exercise at all. Excuses, excuses. I KNOW what to do, but I have to do it. And, I will.
I just wanted to say hi to Ennay! I haven't seen you around forever.
Great discussion. Personally I have lazed myself into a nice holiday gain... I haven't been counting or for that matter doing much exercise at all. Excuses, excuses. I KNOW what to do, but I have to do it. And, I will.
) Well, today I went to the local park in hot pink spandex bikerish shorts, an orange t-shirt left over from my stint working for The Home Depot and a thin purple and grey sweatshirt. Felt great, had a great time, didn't care how I looked. I passed one woman a few times who obviously had the 'presentable' new exercise clothes. Didn't look like they were doing her much good as she sat on the bench talking on the phone. 
Hey ANG! the kids are coming...the kids are coming! 