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Old 08-14-2008, 08:05 PM   #16  
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Well then, good luck with that. Maybe there is a greedy, self-centered, consumer lifestyle support board somewhere.
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Old 08-14-2008, 08:07 PM   #17  
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- I hope this looks enough like a troll to get my point across

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Originally Posted by Eskinomad View Post
Nobody else here is going to be able to give you even one good reason to lose weight if you are so adamantly against it. If you don't want it, don't do it. But if you're convinced you don't want it - why are you wasting your time on a weight loss forum?
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Old 08-14-2008, 08:08 PM   #18  
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Billy, if you are looking for help and weight loss support, please continue to post, but if you are here to tease us, or looking for people to beg you to change your mind about weight loss, that isn't what we're here for, and you should go elsewhere.
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Old 08-14-2008, 08:12 PM   #19  
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Originally Posted by BillyG View Post
It would seem then that the reward of tasty high calorie food trumps just about everything for you and I and 98% of fat people. For me it certainly is not a matter of can't it is simply a matter of won't because I don't think I want it. I know what I "need" to do. Heck we all do. For me I was raised to be selfish and I think about our short time on this dreadful planet and I am going for all the pleasure I can get.

I have next to now interest in sex or relationships because it is too much trouble. Food never lets me down and it never ignore my pleas. Why should I give that up? I am like most Americans. I am greedy and self centered. My function or purpose is to consume. What else is there really?

Sounds like you have it all figured out then!
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Old 08-14-2008, 08:13 PM   #20  
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When I started court reporting school ten years ago, they told me that 1 out of 100 people who start school ever actually become a reporter. That's 1 percent. Didn't even scare me a bit. Actually, it is what drove me to be at the top of my class. I finished, passed our state test, and became a working reporter. I have a lot of friends that didn't.

You can't let that stop you if it is really what you want to do. I didn't realize the percentage was so low for dieters. Well, I am responsible for what I put into my mouth every day, and I am responsible for what my body and mind are capable of doing. Right now, I feel as good as I did when I was 18.
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Old 08-14-2008, 08:30 PM   #21  
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Do you want good health ? How about a better quality of life ? Do you know what it is like to feel good ? Losing weight could give you a new, exciting healthy life.
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Old 08-14-2008, 08:35 PM   #22  
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I've been dieting most of my life. Obviously, not all of my life, and not successfully all of my life. I've been morbidly obese since early childhood, except for a short time in high school (with the help of prescription diet pills).

And "dieting" doesn't work, mostly because we know very little about the "right way" to make changes that are sustainable. Much of what we learn about weight loss is out and out false. Too many people continue to "diet" in the way they were taught, even though it doesn't work (in the long term) mostly because it's all they know, and it often does work in the short term. But to keep it off, you have to find a "new" way.

I have NEVER been able to continue on a weight loss plan, or maintain a loss for so long as I am doing now (though it's also a lot, lot, lot slower). I am on disability for fibromyalgia and an autoimmune disease. One day, I may be able to get back to work. I want to, as I don't want to waste over 17 years of education (masters' degree plus).

Things that weight loss has done for me.

Cured my sleep apnea. I was having 90 incidences of apnea per hour. After losing only 30 lbs, the apnea disappeared.

Improved my pain levels and increased my stamina and strength. When I started I needed to use the Walmart carts, I had to sit down to take a shower, and had to use a 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner because I didn't have the strength or stamina to rinse and repeat. I couldn't lift a bowl over my head to put it away, and I had to have my husband tie my shoes.

I can now walk most stores, even Sam's Club. I can shower and shampoo like a "normal" person, and I can do many normal chores around the house.

I'm still on disability. I still enjoy good food (in fact, maybe if I didn't I would lose faster, but this isn't race for me, any longer, it's just my life).

The biggest difference this time than all of the others - well I can't discount the role that lower carb and changing my bc pills, and not having to be on prednisone helped. Those are all physical things, but the biggest mental change has been that I am not "dieting," I am changing my lifestyle, and doing it gradually, even slowly. This isn't a popular method of weight loss, in fact most people want FAST, but fast often doesn't stick. Many people "diet" fully expecting to be able to "go off the diet" at some point. You've got to be willing to realize that some changes need to be permanent.

That doesn't mean you don't ever get to eat good food again (unless you think all healthy food or any food that you can lose weight on is "crap"). I've found tons of healthy and low calorie foods that are really wonderful tasting. I'm not feeling "deprived" at all.

All that being said - if you don't want to lose weight, then don't. I'm not going to judge anyone's choices, even if they are causing pain and shortening life expectancy. I can't stop a person from sky diving or bungee jumping, and I can't stop someone from slowly poisoning themselves with food, alcohol, or drugs. We all make choices, some of them work for us and our quality of life, and some work against us. Everyone is responsible for their own choices.

But, I can't believe you would be here if you weren't interested in losing weight. It sounds like you just don't see yourself as being able to make the changes necessary to do so. I can relate to that, because that's where I was when I started. I probably wouldn't be here, if I hadn't accidentally lost 20 lbs without trying (when I first had to go onto disability and couldn't work any more). Never in my life, had I "accidentally" lost so much as 5 lbs, let alone 20. My doctors attributed it to getting decent sleep and eating better (this wasn't a conscious choice, I just didn't have a vending machine within a few feet of my desk). "Ok," I thought, "if I could lose 20 lbs, without trying, I should be able to lose a few more if I try." I didn't plan on losing all 250 (and usually, I still don't), I just look at what I know I can do. I may not be able to lose ANY more, but I can maintain the 50+ I have lost, if I keep on it. For me, that means weighing myself daily, and going to my TOPS group weekly, and coming here daily and writing in my food journal (and the more I do that, the more control I have, but sometimes I'm lazy).

The thing is I NEVER allow my self to say that I might as well give up. Because only giving up is failure, everything else is just my life. Sometimes I lose, sometimes I maintain, and once in a while I even gain, but I don't give up. And my self esteem is stronger than ever (though it's always been high - what can I say I'm a pretty smart and wonderful person).

I LOVE the things I can do now that I couldn't three years ago. I even bought a bicycle and ride it (still not very long, and not as frequently as I'd like, as my stamina and balance aren't really conducive to bike riding - but I don't regret buying the bike, it gave me hope). I also started volunteering walking dogs at the humane society (my first dog was a rottie mix - that was probably a mistake. The walk was very short, but I was in bed the next day and sore for a week it seemed. So now I know to be careful about which dogs I walk - chihuahua's, poodles and shiitzu's are more my speed, but I haven't give up).

Last edited by kaplods; 08-14-2008 at 08:53 PM.
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Old 08-14-2008, 08:52 PM   #23  
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A couple of quick points
You are either saying these things to get a reaction or you are interested in losing weight otherwise why would you have found this board- when you could be eating a bowl of ice cream and watching TV.
You might not be ready to start dieting tomorrow but keep reading this board it might take a week, it might take 6 months but one morning you will wake up and want to lose weight and you will know you will succeed.
The stats out there are misleading since most of us have dieted before we succeed for our last time. There are some great maintenance success stories on this board.
Depending on the diet you choose you don't have to give up the pleasures of food you just have to limit them.
If you have 200 lbs to lose-take your time, enjoy your food delivery, scooter, wheelchair parking through your journey. Its not like you give everything up overnight.
Trust me there is a life out there. It is hard to describe the joy of riding your bike down a bike path seeing beautiful flowers and breathing in fresh air.
I wish you all the best, whatever your decision ultimately is.
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Old 08-14-2008, 09:02 PM   #24  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaspank View Post
When I started court reporting school ten years ago, they told me that 1 out of 100 people who start school ever actually become a reporter. That's 1 percent. Didn't even scare me a bit. Actually, it is what drove me to be at the top of my class. I finished, passed our state test, and became a working reporter. I have a lot of friends that didn't.

You can't let that stop you if it is really what you want to do. I didn't realize the percentage was so low for dieters. Well, I am responsible for what I put into my mouth every day, and I am responsible for what my body and mind are capable of doing. Right now, I feel as good as I did when I was 18.
You are the exception not the rule. You sound like a strong inner motivated woman with a sense of honor and exceptional drive. I on the other hand am a lazy lummox and I am not ashamed to admit it.

I guess I am looking for a reward greater than food but what is greater than tasty food. Can anyone list even three things that would be a more powerful motivator than food. My self esteem is too high to be motivated by guilt. If I act5ually did feel guilty I would eat to relieve that guilt. A box of Famous Amos cookies and a tub of ice cream will vanquish that.

What I may need is a higher purpose. I think about getting married and having kids but I am too fat to attract a woman that I would find attractive. I can't or won't stick with a diet for more than a day. I even started a fat acceptance blog because I got sick of their phony mantras like fat by nature proud by choice and 2 4 6 8 we will not regurgitate.
biggerfatterblog.blogspot

I'm here because my family is on my case about losing weight and my doctor is recommending WLS and counseling.

I probably should take a shot at this because my family is so worried about me. They tell me I am in denial but honestly I know the consequences of my behavior.
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Old 08-14-2008, 09:06 PM   #25  
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Billy -- I used to think the same thing about food. First, realize that losing weight successfully doesn't necessarily mean giving up really yummy food! I love the food I eat now. And I pay more attention to it when I eat it -- I used to simply shove fritos in my mouth barely without tasting them. Now I savor a fresh peach, or wonderful tacos, or blueberries and yogurt....

Second, I now believe that being able to fully engage in my life is more important than not paying attention to the (really yummy) food I eat. I know its only one thing, but it's a doozy!

Last edited by Heather; 08-14-2008 at 09:08 PM.
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Old 08-14-2008, 09:08 PM   #26  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lifechange View Post
A couple of quick points
You are either saying these things to get a reaction or you are interested in losing weight otherwise why would you have found this board- when you could be eating a bowl of ice cream and watching TV.
You might not be ready to start dieting tomorrow but keep reading this board it might take a week, it might take 6 months but one morning you will wake up and want to lose weight and you will know you will succeed.
The stats out there are misleading since most of us have dieted before we succeed for our last time. There are some great maintenance success stories on this board.
Depending on the diet you choose you don't have to give up the pleasures of food you just have to limit them.
If you have 200 lbs to lose-take your time, enjoy your food delivery, scooter, wheelchair parking through your journey. Its not like you give everything up overnight.
Trust me there is a life out there. It is hard to describe the joy of riding your bike down a bike path seeing beautiful flowers and breathing in fresh air.
I wish you all the best, whatever your decision ultimately is.
It sounds like you are recommending an incremental approach. What would you say the difference with your mind set is now from back then?
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Old 08-14-2008, 09:13 PM   #27  
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Regarding an incremental approach, I took a "baby steps" approach to losing weight. I simply couldn't think about all the changes I needed to make right away.

I started by bringing lunch and snacks to work (to avoid the vending machine). And I watched portion sizes. I was serious about it, and committed, but couldn't deal with any other changes. I was also on "summer break" so my schedule wasn't as hectic. I might have started even slower if I had been really busy at work!
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Old 08-14-2008, 09:15 PM   #28  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
I've been dieting most of my life. Obviously, not all of my life, and not successfully all of my life. I've been morbidly obese since early childhood, except for a short time in high school (with the help of prescription diet pills).

And "dieting" doesn't work, mostly because we know very little about the "right way" to make changes that are sustainable. Much of what we learn about weight loss is out and out false. Too many people continue to "diet" in the way they were taught, even though it doesn't work (in the long term) mostly because it's all they know, and it often does work in the short term. But to keep it off, you have to find a "new" way.

I have NEVER been able to continue on a weight loss plan, or maintain a loss for so long as I am doing now (though it's also a lot, lot, lot slower). I am on disability for fibromyalgia and an autoimmune disease. One day, I may be able to get back to work. I want to, as I don't want to waste over 17 years of education (masters' degree plus).

Things that weight loss has done for me.

Cured my sleep apnea. I was having 90 incidences of apnea per hour. After losing only 30 lbs, the apnea disappeared.

Improved my pain levels and increased my stamina and strength. When I started I needed to use the Walmart carts, I had to sit down to take a shower, and had to use a 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner because I didn't have the strength or stamina to rinse and repeat. I couldn't lift a bowl over my head to put it away, and I had to have my husband tie my shoes.

I can now walk most stores, even Sam's Club. I can shower and shampoo like a "normal" person, and I can do many normal chores around the house.

I'm still on disability. I still enjoy good food (in fact, maybe if I didn't I would lose faster, but this isn't race for me, any longer, it's just my life).

The biggest difference this time than all of the others - well I can't discount the role that lower carb and changing my bc pills, and not having to be on prednisone helped. Those are all physical things, but the biggest mental change has been that I am not "dieting," I am changing my lifestyle, and doing it gradually, even slowly. This isn't a popular method of weight loss, in fact most people want FAST, but fast often doesn't stick. Many people "diet" fully expecting to be able to "go off the diet" at some point. You've got to be willing to realize that some changes need to be permanent.

That doesn't mean you don't ever get to eat good food again (unless you think all healthy food or any food that you can lose weight on is "crap"). I've found tons of healthy and low calorie foods that are really wonderful tasting. I'm not feeling "deprived" at all.

All that being said - if you don't want to lose weight, then don't. I'm not going to judge anyone's choices, even if they are causing pain and shortening life expectancy. I can't stop a person from sky diving or bungee jumping, and I can't stop someone from slowly poisoning themselves with food, alcohol, or drugs. We all make choices, some of them work for us and our quality of life, and some work against us. Everyone is responsible for their own choices.

But, I can't believe you would be here if you weren't interested in losing weight. It sounds like you just don't see yourself as being able to make the changes necessary to do so. I can relate to that, because that's where I was when I started. I probably wouldn't be here, if I hadn't accidentally lost 20 lbs without trying (when I first had to go onto disability and couldn't work any more). Never in my life, had I "accidentally" lost so much as 5 lbs, let alone 20. My doctors attributed it to getting decent sleep and eating better (this wasn't a conscious choice, I just didn't have a vending machine within a few feet of my desk). "Ok," I thought, "if I could lose 20 lbs, without trying, I should be able to lose a few more if I try." I didn't plan on losing all 250 (and usually, I still don't), I just look at what I know I can do. I may not be able to lose ANY more, but I can maintain the 50+ I have lost, if I keep on it. For me, that means weighing myself daily, and going to my TOPS group weekly, and coming here daily and writing in my food journal (and the more I do that, the more control I have, but sometimes I'm lazy).

The thing is I NEVER allow my self to say that I might as well give up. Because only giving up is failure, everything else is just my life. Sometimes I lose, sometimes I maintain, and once in a while I even gain, but I don't give up. And my self esteem is stronger than ever (though it's always been high - what can I say I'm a pretty smart and wonderful person).

I LOVE the things I can do now that I couldn't three years ago. I even bought a bicycle and ride it (still not very long, and not as frequently as I'd like, as my stamina and balance aren't really conducive to bike riding - but I don't regret buying the bike, it gave me hope). I also started volunteering walking dogs at the humane society (my first dog was a rottie mix - that was probably a mistake. The walk was very short, but I was in bed the next day and sore for a week it seemed. So now I know to be careful about which dogs I walk - chihuahua's, poodles and shiitzu's are more my speed, but I haven't give up).
It sounds like your motivation is feat of premature death. I am an existentialist and therefore I have accepted the fact that death is final and I don't worry about when it will happen because when I happens I won't know it. Maybe if I were afraid of death I would be motivated enough.
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Old 08-14-2008, 09:17 PM   #29  
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I have a couple of questions if you don't mind ...

Please explain all that free stuff.
How do you pay for your food?
Does someone bring you everything?
And ... what is it that you'd like from us here at 3FC?
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Old 08-14-2008, 09:20 PM   #30  
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Billy, my heart goes out to you because you are obviously searching your soul for the right solution to your own situation. I'm not sure if WLS is the right option, because it also fails if the mind and heart are not in the same place. Lots of people regain weight after WLS.

I think counseling might be a good option for you, to help you figure out why you overeat, and get one on one support for getting past your personal obstacles. This is one of the reasons why so many diets fail - we just aren't ready and willing, for whatever reason, to make life long, permanent changes. Sometimes there is so much more involved than knowing what to eat, and knowing that we need to exercise. The big question is why don't we do it?

What you are doing right now isn't working for you. You are unhappy. Are you really ready to change that? I detect more frustration with your situation than true inner willingness to change, but sometimes it comes in steps or phases. That's actually very common. Maybe your next step will come very soon

That's a big assumption on my part, based on just a few sentences by you, so I could be very wrong.

In the meantime, maybe you can work on small changes, which might inspire larger ones? If nothing else, just work on one meal. Make sure your breakfast every day is reasonably healthy. That's all. You might be surprised with how much better you feel after just a week. Hopefully lunch will eventually follow the trend. (from the book Change One) Maybe the goal can be more focused on getting healthier, instead of weight loss.

I hope you'll stick around, and let this be part of your plan to get healthier
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