Definitely not a fraud, and I'm sure they're fab. Hope the attempt at running went well.

I'm feeling really rebellious now. I'd told my parents there was little food in the house because I've been busy all week, but they didn't want to stop at the supermarket last night and then blocked my car in so I assumed we'd be going out before lunch to get something. It gets to about 1.45 and my dad's going on about how he doesn't want anything yet so I stormed out.

To buy ingredients to make a salad.

I'm such a wild child!!!

This is my subtle revenge though, because the food I have in the house is probably their worst nightmare, and I refuse to buy anything unhealthy for them. I'm an evil daughter!

Hehehehehe revenge!!! make em eat greens :D

Thanks for the dietgirl link, Veggie, the inner workings of my brain and dietgirls are very similar!!! The treadmill is right in the front window of the shop, set up with the video camera. People stopped and watched me run, worse nightmare ever!!!

So my feet are a bit wonky, the roll pretty badly. I tried on four different pairs, and of course the ones that felt the best were the most expensive :D:D:D:D

I went to the gym after my shopping expedition and did the treadmill for 20 minutes, I walked three minutes and ran one minute and kept repeating. I'll aim for half an hour on moday, my next running day, and try and put in a couple of 2 minute slots. I felt really comfortable, although my heart rate went alarmingly high, but I guess that will get better. And the really good news, no asthma whilst I was running.

I did 20 minutes on the cardio wave (it feels a bit like ice skating, really strange!!!) and then half an hour in the pool.

Happy day!!!

oooh Kyk you are infuriatingly gooood :angel: :rofl:

Yippee Sarah Ann :cp: :cheer: You deserve it :sssh: so does George :lol:

I'm just getting ready to go out :carrot: only grocery shopping though :rolleyes: exciting eh? :lol: its a beautiful day :sunny: so I might just pay a visit to a pub later ;)

Oh my god, that is amazing! Really fantastic!

I know I can do this, I have to! I have found a picture of me full length, from when I went to Norway in 2003, I think... no, I know I have gained about 2 stone since that trip, but I still look huge. I will try and scan it later.

At least I have something I can compare myself too... before/after type thing. Who knows, one day I might be buying size 12 too!:carrot:

We used to have a laugh at what she ate :eek: she posted a pic once of this absolutely ENORMOUS plate full of veggies :faint: i'll never forget it :lol:

I've shocked myself by eating sensibly all day, even at my grandparents. I've started noticing that i give myself smaller portions of everything (including wine :faint: ) without really thinking. But we're going to my favourite Greek restaurant tomorrow so i'm not sure there'll be too much restraint then...

I've been eating more veggies, and preparing slightly different meals for me and Col. The new gym is next to a supermarket that has really good veggies!!! It was always a bit out of the way, the wrong side of town with nothing nearby, but now I'll be going past it nearly everyday! So I think I'm going to start shopping for one or two days food at a time, rather than doing a big shop.

Is it sad that I am really looking forward to practicing running on Monday??? Yes I thought so!

It's not sad at all!

(I hope, otherwise I'm doomed ;) )

I had chinese today. Had a mixed meat choi mein. But I ate hardly anything yesterday... I was craving chinese and I need a treat.

I need to start doing something now about exercising. I don't know where to start. To be honest, I can't afford to join a Gym... I did buy that Max and Paddy exercise DVD. It is good, but a lot of it I won't be able to do in my poxy flat!

I keep telling myself, when i'm about 4 stone lighter i'm going to start swimming... maybe buy myself a bike. I can't even ride a bike, i'm too heavy! Plus I don't think it's attractive, having an arse the size of a small country bouncing around on that small saddle!:o

I have no idea what to eat. I REALLY should plan meals, but I don't know where to start and I always end up going back down the Jacket spuds route!
Today I went to Morrisons and bought two sodding great rump steaks, some mushrooms (I hate them, but they're good for ya!), some quorn, getting mum to make me up a tomato sauce (mine is rank! lol) so I can have spag bol.

I just wanna do everything right... but I just don't know properly where to start!!
At least I have made a start... just don't know which way to go next.

I'm obsessed at the moment, I am skipping meals, not eating my a-b choices, no syns. But I know it won't work!:(

Bleh.

Start with one thing at a time, chook. It seems to be your biggest challenge is lunch. Have you looked at the latest issue of Slimming World magazine? Can you ask some others in your group for suggestions? I am a shift worker, but I have a fab canteen which is very accommodating.

You don't have to be perfect all the time, you do need to be committed to your eating plan, but you won't lose this weight all at once, it will come off a pound here, a pound there, no pounds here, and drive you demented, weight loss is like that :dizzy:

I met a gorgeous lady at my gym this week, who was swimming with me. If anything, she was heavier than you. She feels really desperate, and her achilles heel is portion sizes. We all have our issues, and it's just working out what works for you. Mine was eating for reasons other than hunger. I still battle with than one on occasions, particularly at work.

I don't read the magazine to be honest! Bit brassic at mo.
I have been naughty today... I know I have. Tomorrow and rest of week I am going to have to be strict.

Unfortunately our canteen doesn't cater for those on a diet! Apart from a tiny salad bowl, or the Jacket spuds, there is nothing. But I am going to try this week, eating my main meal before I go to work. So eat main meal at lunch time, then eat a tin of soup, rivitas or something in work. It will play havoc with my IBS, but I will have to put up with that!
I used to go swimming every night after school, but when I started getting big, I stopped that. I wanna get back in that pool.

I miss Ali/Posy a lot. I don't remember laughing at a pic of her meals :no: :p

Homersmummy don't skip meals! and eat your HE and syns they are as much of the plan as the free food and you need them so much, you won't last without them!

Oh I know. :^:

I'm not so sure about the Syns thing, I know in last class she said try to eat them, but I don't know how i'm suppose to work it! If I had some potatoes in my meal, can I syn it if I have more!? You know what I mean?
My friends mum has chocolate every day, and is loosing. She syns it. BUT I usually only had one chocolate bar in work a day, very rarely had dinner. Why didn't I loose then?! LOL!
Weird is this diet.:dizzy:

I only know the green plan as a vegetarian so potatoes are free to me. But you can syn anything so extra potatoes yes! I dunno about the choc/dinner thing :p weight loss is weird. ;)

Mands - you sound so upset! There are lots of things you can do which don't cost money or ways of eating which are just alterations to your previous eating pattern but with the fattening stuff taken out. :dust:

:running: I don't spend anything on exercising - walking is excellent exercise and the fresh air is great your skin. You could set yourself mini targets - perhaps half an hour to start with - or walking plans through http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/ just put in UK and your location at the top of the page. (Thanks to YP for the link, I use it all the time). :kickcan:

:coach: Okay - food. Perhaps, when you get a quiet hour, you could sit down with a notepad and work out your meal plans for the next week then stick it on the fridge. Do a plan for each day - all three meals AND three snacks. Include portion sizes making sure to use all your syns and HE's - then there can be no room in your mind for temptation. :cookie: Try and plan for as varied a diet as you possibly can - and its a nice idea to try at least two new foods a week (new fruits and vegies are a good place to start). Sometimes I think it is food boredom which is the biggest killer of good dieting intentions - the second biggest killer is impulse buying. Then buy the stuff on the list and nothing else. I use the Sainsbury To You home delivery thing which has stopped me impulse buying completely - perhaps your Mum could get your goodies in for you. :queen:

About chocolate :chockiss: the problem with chocolate is that if you carry on eating it you will always want to eat it (I'm sure its addictive!). You CAN build it in to your diet but you have to think if you want to waste those calories/syns on something which does absolutely nothing for you nutritionally. Perhaps you could plan to eat it as a treat one evening per week. My danger food is cheese. :cheese: I couldn't give it up completely so I now ONLY have cheese on Saturday evening and only if I've been 'good' the rest of the week. It gives me something to look forward to and work towards. I also earn the calories I 'spend' on the cheese with extra exercise. :running: :ebike:

Anyway - gotta get those dogs out! Fred's learned to do a new weird whistling howl noise which he knows drives me nuts so he does it from when I get my walking shoes on until I take them out. :rollpin:

I'm up to go swimming at the old gym! My membership doesn't end til the middle of next month, so I may as well use it. I will probably still swim in Ramsbottom on a Sunday, despite having the fancy new gym in Bury!! Oh my life is so complicated.

I have a bit of a headache today, been really trying, but still not drinking enough water. Or anything else. I'm not very good at drinking :D

you're up early! I'm trying to persuade myself to go out for my run. Maybe a bit more laziness before I move.

I forgot to say, yesterday I went into Evans with my mum and tried on some boots while she was looking at shoes. They fit fine in the foot (9 wide), but the legs!!! I could have fit both my legs in there I swear. Boots used to be one of the few things I could find to buy, but now my feet are too wide for normal boots and my legs are too small for Evans boots. Grr. They were reduced from £90 to £30 too so I was gutted they didn''t fit.

:wave: Oh poor YP - boots are well over-rated! I think there is an advert in the back of one of my Vogues for wide feet - I'll look it out for you.

Morning Miss Swimmy! ;)

I'm draining motorbike oil today! :D It's dribbling nicely into the washing up bowl! :rofl: So I will have to get my arse downstairs to fill it back up with oil later on! Knowing me, I'll forget and get down there tomorrow morning... :doh:

Feeling bouncy but tired :hyper: :tired: I want to practise kickboxing, I have loads of stuff to do from my private lesson yesterday and DF is out so I can really have a good going over stuff all afternoon! I want to do some leg weights too, since I've really missed them recently and my knee isn't feeling too sore.

Oh and I'm going to bake too, which first... Kickboxing or baking??? Ah dilema! :lol:

I ran 7.5 miles in the end this morning, I feel a lot better for having gone out (although with hindsight maybe I should have stayed out for longer to avoid my parents bickering about their packing and how to get to the airport in the morning ;) )

Aaargh parents! Who'd have em? :rolleyes:

Well done running :D

I've still got a headache. Some mother had two boys in the ladies changerooms who were going up and down opening all the lockers and then banging them shut whilst she got changed. If it hadn't cost me 20p per child I would have locked them in the lockers!!! I'm getting very intolerant in my old age.

And now Col has put on the chemical brothers very loudly and gone to the pub, kill or cure!

We had a hilarious conversation today. We were talking about foods he doesn't like, and he said he hates gooseberries. "when have you ever had a gooseberry?" I ask. "in fruit cocktail" he says. I look at him quizically and say "in Australia, it's grapes in fruit cocktail not gooseberries!" So he cocks his head to one side and looks at me. SO of course we have to go to BOTH supermarkets in town and look at tins of fruit cocktail. Yep grapes, not gooseberries. So poor Colin is devastated that for 50 years he's been avoiding the green things in fruit cocktail thinking they were gooseberries!!!

My mum's driving me mad, and she's in Australia, how I am going to cope for 3 weeks, I have no idea!!!! Luckily the gym at the apartment complex is open 24 hours!!!

Aww, bless you for writing all of that!! :hug: :hug: Miserable as sin to be honest! ;) Just been a tough few weeks. Work been a been of a poo of late, but that was semi sorted on friday.:carrot:

I know what I want to do, but it's doing it! I don't have the motivation... actually i'm just 22 st odd of pure laziness! :D
I'm off this week, I will have time to sit and think of things. My friend is a shift worker, she's going to lend me her food diary, just so I can see the kinds of stuff she is eating.

I keep looking at myself in the mirror... it's like I expect me to shrink overnight! :^: Dozy mare.
I've been big my whole adult life, I think I use it as comfort blanket... But decided enough is enough. :devil:

I have even told myself when I loose enough, I am going to try for a job at the Plymouth Pavilions, i'd love to do something like that. But would never dream of going for it this size!

I will look at that website, cheers.

Just thinking of buying me a gps unit. I used to work in a taxi office, so pretty much know Plymouth like the back of my hand. But when I get in a car, all knowledge of places disappear out of my head! Regular route I take a lot, I got lost yesterday!! I tell you, my head is all over the place! :dizzy:
OH, perhaps the weight has gone from my brain?!:D

Cheeky!!!

Must be something in the air today - I was just starting to luxuriate in the bath with a glass of white wine spritzer, a few grapes, some expensive bubbles and a good book when the kids next door decided to clean their parents car. The oldest one was hoovering the inside with the :censored: radio on full blast. They had it on Radio 2 and it was Elaine Page (very loud screechy voice going 'EP here') playing absolutely :censored: awful songs from musicals. It was deafening. After 10 minutes it was obvious it wasn't going to stop any time soon so I got out of the bath to get my iPod (to drown it out) - just then my :censored: phone started ringing so I had to get out of the :censored: bath again only to find it was another neighbour 5 houses up asking where the :censored: noise was coming from because it had woken up her 2 month old twins from their nap. I then tried phoning my neighbours - no :censored: reply - and ended up having to get :censored: dressed to go tell the kids to turn it down. Turns out that the parents have a *polite cough* 'nap' on Sunday afternoons and the kids made comments last week about the noise coming from their room so the parents paid them to clean the car and TOLD them to turn the :censored: stereo on loud. So I sent one of the kids up to get their parents (told them to say it was extremely urgent) and then I told them exactly what I thought about their :censored: Sunday nap! They had very red faces.

Arghhhh! My baths cold and I'm getting Ky's headache!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'd be annoyed too. You don't move to the back of woop woop to be annoyed by kids!!!! And stupid parents!!!!

No one should be having Sunday afternoon "fun" I don't get any so nobody else should either! I hope your headache goes away. The chemical brothers seem to be chasing it away. I am too lazy to get up and turn the stereo off!!! I'll play something obnoxious if he ever comes home from the pub. Old p**s head he is!

Think i've dropped myself in it.:o When I was 14 I used to go out with this lad. I spotted his name on Friends reunited, so contacted him. We've been talking on MSN/email since October. Because of my size i've put off meeting up with him. But I have now agreed to go cinema with him on Thursday. I am dreading it! I don't know how he's going to be seeing how big I am now.:o

Although, I am a bit grr about it all, cause recently when I said something to him about not having a man in my life, he said to me, "well, when you're size 12 and 10 stone, come see me"... made me feel this small *pinches fingers together* and I don't mean waste size either! :(

I said to him jokingly last night, don't worry i'll walk ahead of you, so you're not seen with me, he said "i'd rather you walked behind"... he said he was kidding, maybe i'm paranoid. Probably! I have to stop making excuses though, I avoid going out at all costs. I have agoraphobia, only started going out to work 16 months ago.

I shall see. If he seems off, I won't bother again!:^:

Whose I idea was it to meet up? If it was his idea and he knows your feelings about your size then I wouldn't worry. Maybe he just never thought through what he said before he said it. Actually if he is rude and tactless then he's got more to worry about than you. You can change your size but he's stuck with his personality.

The other thing, of course, is that he will have changed as well. You will be remembering him as the cute little 14 year old that he was - for all you know he might be weedy and bald with zits, a beer belly, builders bum and rude tattoos now. ;)

What was he like at school? Most people don't change too much inside. Having said that, I found my ex-best-friend again through Friends Reunited and she was absolutely AWFUL! I never actually met up with her - but her emails were pretty bizarre and a little scary - and she just wouldn't give up, it ended up with me getting MailWasherand bouncing back her emails so it looked like I'd shut down that email account and hadn't read them. :crazy:

And..... you must remember.... that there are LOTS of men out there who like BBWs.

Awwww :hug: Men can be thoughtless :censored: 's!!! It sounds like he's joking to me but still :rolleyes: I hope he is'nt a jerk and you end up having a great time ;)

I was a :ink: yesterday :dunno: ate a full bag of werthers chocs while I was driving around town :lol: had chickfingers, honey mustard sauce and chips with B + B for dinner. Then got stuck into cream crackers and cheese and carrot muffins :yikes: washed down by loads of budweisers :rolleyes: not worth journalling that lot is it :lol: and I started off all :angel: (ic) too :tantrum: oh well :censored: happens :lol:

Veggie..alright you :faint: :yikes: at the size of the plate! I laughed :rofl:

Frus..have you put your oil in yet?

They're driving me :censored: mad! It's nice to see them, but they're just getting under my feet. I'm so used to living alone that I really don't appreciate it when they change the radio station that I'm listening to, or stand blocking my path to the phone when it starts ringing (as they look gormlessly around). Or the fact that their rubbish is covering every seat. Or that I have to fight my way to the computer. I like my routine, and I don't like change!

(I do, however, like an excuse to go to the Greek :love: )

The one thing I have noticed though is my mother's weight. I sometimes lose track of how much I've lost, and I know that I used to be heavier than she is. A lot heavier. And yet I look at her and wonder how she copes at that weight, let alone wondering how I used to cope at my highest. (Mind you, it doesn't help that she has an annoying habit of walking round the house in her underwear, letting it all hang out, so there's no way of ignoring it - I really wish she'd wear some more clothes sometimes! :o )

Anyway, I get my life back for two months after tomorrow rather than the constant comings and goings of the past month or so, so hopefully I'll be able to get some routine going again.

Meanwhile, I'm sulking in front of the computer with a bag of grapes. I'm a wild child...

Waaaaaa :tantrum: whats happened to my post 'score' everytime I get near to the 5000 mark they knock some off :kickcan: its happened twice now :mad: :rofl:

:rofl: cat, behave!

I haven't put my oil in yet... I read that and thought, "Oil? What oil??" :rofl: I was thinking maybe olive oil, since I've been baking for the last 2 1/2 hours. It's all good stuff I tell you. I've come online cos my hand mixer is overheating! :o

Homersmummy - he doesn't seem good enough for you :snooty: you shouldn't have to feel bad about your weight round a bloke :no:

Cat - it's meeeeeee I'm deleting alllllllllll your posts :sssh: :lol:

Bike is oil revved up with nowhere to go! Groan!

I'm having bizzare egg and vegetable mush thing for tea! I used up the rest of my egg whites, added one whole egg, plus about half a baby cabbage and squash and courgette and mushroom and bacon and CHOPPED GINGER :T and fried it all in a big strange fritatta omlette type mess! Turning is over was fun... flying squash anyone??? :rofl:

I think I'll have a nice bath next - hope it's not as noisy as yours Sarah ;) Just have to work out what to read. :chin: I have wedding magazines, The Amatuer Marriage, or Spike Milligan biography. :dunno:

I stick my fritattas in the grill to cook the other side! Works for me! None of this turning bizzo!!! I want a full inventory of what you've been baking + recipes!!! We should have a UK Fat Chick recipe section, with no weird US ingredients!!!!

My last day off work tomorrow. I am really dreading going back. I should hear the bad news about the management job I am not going to get. One of their "preferred applicants" applied, and I don't think they intend interviewing anyone else. I think they were hoping I would withdraw my application to give em less work to do. Not on your life!!!

We went out for Sunday lunch today, and I accidentally had a pudding!! Ooops!!! I used to have a pudding every day, so once a month is hardly a huge problem. Off to the gym early in the morning, and I am going to try and sign on to a new GP tomorrow, an exercise in futility!

I mentioned I was going to the cinema sometime this week as I was off work. I wanna see Final Destination 3! He asked who I was going with, it ended up with me saying if he wanted to go would be fine... but it also turned that we're now seeing a film he wants to see... and guess who's paying! :mad:
I'm gonna think about this. I have until Thursday.
He hasn't change much looks wise, going by his photos... I guess we all change over the years, I'm the same me, freakily enough... just much wider! :D
He was quiet at school, his mum was a bit strict. We used to have to meet in secret because of how she was!
Oh I dunno what to doooo!

You gotta like yourself too though right?:o

Oh - absolutely! I think thats more important than what anyone else thinks of you.

Okay, I really do believe that men and women are equal - but how on earth did you end up offering to pay for him? AND how did you end up offering to pay for his ticket to a film of his choice?????

He sounds like a chancer to me.

:^: Now that I don't know! :?:
It's Jarhead or something, I REALLY don't want to see it! The reason I wanna go to the cinema is to see Final Destination 3! So I need to word it so it doesn't sound as though i'm backing out, but I want to see FD3 only...if i'm paying, I choose right!? :p
Hmm.

Are you paying for both of you? If so you really should be seeing the film you want to see! :?: Especially that way even if he is an @rse you still get to see your film. ;) You can also run away from him in the dark if necessary.

Yep, both of us.:o I'm thinking it might be a sign of desperation!
This is why i've avoided going for coffee with him... plus i'd be short of things to say, at least in a cinema, I don't talk if the film I really want to see is on and it's dark! So if he IS embarrassed by me, we won't be seen! ;)

I'm actually wondering if he will spot me from a distance and scarper! :D