no kayelle- you are not upsetting me at all- i am ashamed at myself and annoyed too as i really know i can do this- i also realize i will mess up along the way . my problem today was just loss of willpower and the availability of the goodies around me- i mean platters and platters of cakes andmayo laden sandwiches and cookies and all kinds of goodies and i just ignored the voice inside going "what in the heck are you doing spit out the cookie and the voice kept saying eat the cookie - eat the cake and all thought of eating healthy flew out the window- i can't make excuses except i ate wrong today and i have decided NOT to let that make me fall off the wagon and continue to eat bad.
I did for a while have that impending doom of well once a always a and why not just say forget it and be a but that was pushed down and i will not go back to eating crap tomorrow- there will be temptations all week unfortunatly at work SO i will STAY out of the kitchen at work away from temptations. and i bought gum tonight so if i have to go near the kitchen i will chew gum so i can't nibble.
I do feel stuck in a rut and feel as tho no matter how hard i try I can't lose faster- better- as good - as everyone else is But then i have to remember that everyone is different and i am on 4 different types of meds and 2 of them have side effects of WEIGHT GAIN- so i have to try harder and as Kayelle make this #1 for me-.
Thanks for the
My NSV for today was I bought water and healthy snacks/ Fruit for tomorrow! to everyone!
I have been awol for a few days and very guilty. Of course food was out of control. I think when everything around me is crazy, I give myself permission to eat crap because what the heck, everything sucks anyway, so why not just make it worse. That's not a good thing to do, because when everything is ok again, I am still fat. I don't lnow if eating at those time is a punishment or a reward, but I need to stop.
thanks, Kayelle. You are so right.
Sandi - moving is one of the biggest stresses in life.
Melissa- I'm glad you got your room back.
Carrie- You are super, to be able to work in Starbucks and stay op. They say after a while you don't even want the stuff anymore. It would take me years.
Laura
Come on ladies!!! Get out of the rut and back on this wagon!! We can do this! I am happy to report that I lost 5 pounds last week! Then as soon as I left Curves, I went to Burger King, I did get the grilled chicken sandwich with no sauce, but I ate all the fries and half my sons' hamburger! What was I thinking? I don't know, but I know it wasn't sane thinking!! I didn't do much better at dinner tonight-more fries! I know it won't happen again for a long time cause I made hubby promise we will not go out to eat for a month! I probably gained all 5 pounds back! I also have not worked out at all this week. I had good intentions though!! I left Monday to go to Curves and my daughter called, she had just been thrown from the horse she was riding and landed on her back. I had to take her to the ER, sat there for 2 hours, then it was too late to workout at Curves, just enough time to get weighed and measured. I should have a printout tomorrow on how my 6 weeks went. I don't even want to guess!
Melissa-Don't you have Theresa's email addy? I sure hope everythings okay with her and her family!
Kayelle- You are the greatest inspiration!
NO EXCUSES!!! I need to remember that everyday! I will be at the gym at 9am tomorrow, and I will be there everyday, I AM WORTH THE WORK--NO EXCUSES!!! Thank you!
Sandisuze-PM me your ebay id--I love ebay!!!
Laura-No more eating crap!! Eat crap=feel like crap, doesn't do you any good! ( I know-I've ate crap the last few days )
Check in with you all AFTER I go to the gym in the morning!!
This is for all of us---
Kathy
thanks for the kayelle. we need it! especially me
today was good. i had an nsv -- after work, i went to the gym and did 60m of cardio. yay! another one, unintentional though, was that i forgot to bring home two muffins from work, and because of that, i will be having a muffin-free breakfast tomorrow. good thing too, because i looked up the calories on them, and they were 150 more than i thought (assuming calories makes "me" with a big "you-know-what," as the saying doesn't exactly go.) 450 calories for a "reduced-fat" muffin.. sheesh!
we can do it ladies.. the cravings must remain cravings, and not turn into regrets!
I'm thinking a lot about excuses and I know that I use lots of emotional moments as a reason to turn to food. I think that's what self medicating is all about and I am going to stop. If I turned to alcohol or drugs it would just be another form of self medicating and it would be much less socially acceptable, only because the negative results are apparent so quickly. If you self med with food, only you know that you feel like crap and the fat will still be there. So now I am going to describe myself as a self medicator and try to overcome my addiction. How's that for a lot of psycho babble? But I think the concept fits me and some of my friends here.
Laura
I agree 100% with your babble! I am addicted and use food to medicate myself but never really knew h proper words to say- i have been saying i was addicted to certain foods but now i think it's addiction to the aspect of eating- i think it'll make me happy but in reality it doesn't. or i think it'll fix things but it doesn't Arrgh
nasty cycle isn't it??
Sandi- the particular food doesn't really matter because when I turn to food, if my usual foods that I like aren't available, I will eat something else, even something that I don't really want, just to eat. I do think this is the key, not thinking about particular foods, just the use of food to medicate. But the flip side of this is that you do need to deal with whatever the issues are that cause self med. And I don't know how to do that.I do think however that sometimes it's like a leaned behavior- something happens, I reach for food without even thinking and sometimes the issue isn't really that bad, it's just an excuse to grab. At least for me.
This weekend I ate because I was wildly worried about son # 3. I didn't call him because I want him to deal with his issues himself, so instead I worried and ruined my good times with friends and ate. Still no news from him but I feel fat and ugly, thanks to me.
That's what has to stop for me. It's not the food, it's the feelings. (Oprah says that.)
Laura
I have found my way back.
I have been MIA for a while now, since the mid of January. My copmuter has been down and I hate the dial up, I will be getting high speed next week. So I have vowed that I will come on at least every second day, once I get the high speed.
I am glad to see that every one is doing good, and Kay I love what you wrote it is all so true.
I still have some more treads to read, and get my butt moving again. I need one. I havent worked out in 3 weeks, I stubbed my big toe and lost my toe nail, but I can now where my shoes and walk with out it hurting so next weeks goals will be Curves 3 times and 5 walks. I will gear up for March's tread, notmuch I can do about Febuary's.
Take care ladies and keep up the great work, and send soem butt kickin my way.
ice - glad ot see ya back!
I too have decided to forget February and move onward to march and see if i can't pull it together
Laura I've really been thinking about what you wrote yesterday and it makes so much sense.
I'm always saying if i am haveng a bad day or stressed that i'll eat just one ____ (insert word) and i'll feel all better- and I don't all i ever feel is either stupid, angry, fat and stuffed-
i guess some people drink , some do drugs, some smoke, some run away and some eat. I know i used to be a big (and i mean 5 days a week party) party person back in the day with drinking and smoking- i gave up drinking as it was getting out of hand and it was kinda easy- i still craved a drink now and then but just distanced myself from drinking. no days i could care less about taking a drink. smoking wasn't too terrible as i had pneumonia and i couldn't smoke so that was ok-it's been over 8 years tho and to this day i still every now and then crave a smoke.
we have to eat we can't distance ourselves or quit eating. we can choose to make better food choices and exercise tho. i don't understand why i can't just say NO to the wrong foods. or why i can't just stop when i am full. and then nothings fixed cause i still have the problem /stress/ issues that made me think i want to eat wrong.
I'm sorry -i am babbling again and prolly not making much sense.
Today was a good day tho- was able to get a shirt for pics on Saturday and i got my hair done and it looks FAB! the hair dresser used an "iron" on it and it's so pretty except hubby doesn't like it at all- he likes my curls -i was just tired of the little orphan annie look - Now i am afraid that it won't look good curly - i hate my hair i like it all straight and curved around my face- it makes me look thinner. hubby may just have to get over it.
as soon as we get pics i will post one-
hope to "see" everyone back soon
Sandi
Sandi- I think we are so in the habit of reaching for food when something goes wrong that it's hard to stop. For me, I need to stuff down whatever bad feelings, fears, worries etc are beginning. It's like an anesthetic. Feel the food and not the real feelings. I know I do that because the food never tastes good anyway. Sometimes I would eat till I hurt, so whatever I didn't want to face became a physical pain instead. It is so comlicated, especially when you have been doing it for years.
Today I lifted a 50lb bag of dog food. It was really heavy. that's what I'm dragging around, attached to my body everyday.GRRRRRRR.
Where is Melissa??????????????
Laura
PS- Sandi- Go get the book Curly Girl, by Lorraine Massy, and click on naturallycurly.com and learn to love your curls.
Women pay big bucks to get what you have.
Laura
laura, i think you are right about reasons for eating and especially it not tasting good. i can't seem to get past the idea of coming up for excuses of why its ok to eat some food or other that i don't really need to eat, "i deserve it," or "i'll work it off/make up for it tomorrow," or most common for me "i don't want it to go to waste!" the real waste would be eating it, which is what just happened to that danged cupcake! i feel like i just gained a zillion pounds.
what is wrong with me these days? i have never been a cake person, always salty stuff or ice cream.
I know laura- i should embrace the curls- People do pay lots for perms and i shouldn't fuss- it does seem the older i get the frizzier the curls get - i stopped in sally beauty supply today and asked for a curl defining something and they sold me some stuff that is supposed to help. ( i did get a straightening iron tho and hubby said the way i did it looked nicer than yesterday.) so i can go curly and staight with the hair. kinda fun- i am not girly when it comes to hair and makeup- i missed out on all the Girl stuff like hair, nails etc.. i am hopeless at stuff like that- (hubby braids jocies hair)
SO WHERE IS EVERYONE???? I am praying here Melissa is ok- very worried here-
I am emailing theresa -as i found her email today. and seeing what is up - if she answers me-
I am thinking that dr. phil may be right and I need to deal with whatever is bothering me instead of reaching for food. i too say, well i've had a rough day i can have this or that when i know i shouldn't. i have made up the most stupid reasons why i need to eat something "bad".
Like if i don't try that, i'll never know what a zillion calories fried twinkie tastes like -NO i didn't eat it but I came close!
today was ehh on food - i was given a diet Sobe green tea today and it was eww at first- then i found i liked it and then i read the ingredients and said oh my it has stuff in it one shouldn't drink whan one is on heart medication. can't win LOL
well i am off to list more on ebay and do dishes
March is only a few days away and i am going to make it. This move will be over soon and i can stop freaking out- now the nerves are being caused by what about this or what about that - and the evil "WHAT IF" are attacking...
Pictures are tomorrow i hate having my pic taken-
Sorry guys I have just been feeling under the weather last few days. I still haven't been able to shake this cold and it is whiping me out. I may have to break down and see dr. Ever since I got pneumonia couple years ago, it just takes forever to get rid of the bugs.
My roof sprung a leak and I am still waiting for landlord to call me back so hopefully no rain for a bit. We had snow this morning and then by 11a it was gone and the sun was shining. I ate too much cake for my birthday too. Odessa is in Bremerton with other grandma and going to a birthday party for her little friend tomorrow. She told me bye, love you too and take care as she left. She is quite the character. Logan is crawling and now pulling himself into a standing position.
I didn't read much of the posts but I am hoping to finally feel normal again tomorrow. I just wanted to let everyone know I am here but just feeling a bit punkish and will be back.
Melissa
Hi everyone! I've been awol for awhile, then the few times I tried to post I kept losing my connection and gave up. I HATE dial up!!! DH says we need to pay off the dental bills before we add an expense so I guess it will be awhile before we get a better connection.
Melissa-I hope you get feeling better soon, it's been a bad cold season here too.
Ice--glad to see you are alive and kicking!!
Candice--Starbucks would be the death of me, luckily we don't have any near here, not within 100 miles! I would nibble my way through the menu if I worked there.
Sandi-I have curly hair also. Lately everytime I get it cut they iron it straight. When I get home, my dog stands there and barks at me, my DH hates it when its straight too.
Laura--I got to thinking about what you said about lifting the dogfood and I realized that between DH and I we have lost a total of 113 pounds. That's a whole person!! (thin person, but still a person). That is truly a sobering thought. If I ever reach my goal I'll have lost about that much on my own.
That should be a good incentive in it's own right.
This week at work, they admited a young man (late 20's) who weighes over 700 pounds. It seems that we are seeing more young people in the hugely obese weights than ever before. 350+ is becoming almost a norm. The parents and familys enable these people by raising cain that they aren's getting enough food on a 2000-2200 cal diet and keep bringing in fast food.
We can't seem to get through to them that they are helping their loved one to slowly eat themselves into an early grave. These people have all the high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, and respiratory problems that we usually see in the elderly and they are not even 40 yet for the most part. Most of them are also on disability so that middle america is footing the bill for their healthcare. It is a frightening look at the future of our younger generation.
Ok off my
This month has been depressing all around, no loss by the scale, no energy, and no sunshine. I AM READY FOR SPRING!!!!
Only 3 months left on my contract and then I can find a job with normal hours
I hate job hunting usually, but this time I am looking forward to it.
Well, I can never seem to post a short note.
Sorry for the book
voice inside going "what in the heck are you doing spit out the cookie and the 
voice kept saying eat the cookie - eat the cake and all thought of eating healthy flew out the window- i can't make excuses except i ate wrong today and i have decided NOT to let that make me fall off the wagon and continue to eat bad. 
always a 
to everyone! 
What was I thinking? I don't know, but I know it wasn't sane thinking!! I didn't do much better at dinner tonight-more fries! I know it won't happen again for a long time cause I made hubby promise we will not go out to eat for a month! I probably gained all 5 pounds back! I also have not worked out at all this week. I had good intentions though!! I left Monday to go to Curves and my daughter called, she had just been thrown from the horse she was riding and landed on her back. I had to take her to the ER, sat there for 2 hours, then it was too late to workout at Curves, just enough time to get weighed and measured. I should have a printout tomorrow on how my 6 weeks went. I don't even want to guess!
I AM WORTH THE WORK--NO EXCUSES!!! Thank you!
)
where is everyone???
i like it all straight and curved around my face- it makes me look thinner. hubby may just have to get over it. 
