Good morning everyone! Hope this Friday brings you all some R&R and much happiness! I am doing a lot of cooking so I won't be back here till Monday. Grilling chicken, steaming rice and veggies., a pot of oatmeal, cutting fruit and freezing some along with green peppers and onions too and making a small meatloaf and some chili. The next 3 days ought to get it all done. Weather has turned cooler and rainy and generally nasty! Trying to spread the "arm use" is very daunting. Plus the right one is always driving the "jalopyr". The only thing you can do without them is smile and fart Well....maybe a few more things if I really put on my thinking cap!

Nae~ I was so surprised to see such a long and lovely post!!! Good luck with Mrs. Robin and all her Bumps Do keep us posted!! Invite bill for dinner and forget about the age. Life is too short to miss happy times! Love the water bottle and exercise! Good luck with the poking too!

Shad~ I think you need to sit on Nae's porch with Teeka on your lap and a glass of your favorite wine while watching the deer and the antelope play.....and baby robins hatching. Hope next week is better! Wish I knew what was bad but it does sound awful even to me with these virgins getting aborted and SAPped. Hope the weekend is better. I am glad you found me in the comments....I realize now that I was on the road to self destruction once again. And after only ONE day down in the office!!! Old Dogs Syndrome! maybe we should go to Nae's together!!!

Tig~ Have a great time with the Thugs. I love that name! Cracks me up eeeeevery time. maybe the parents are laying things such as carpets and tiles You take the 5K and I'll take the shirt.....size 2X please. Good luck and have fun.

Holly~ You and Shad should open up a contract's office and get a business going!! Hope the heart stays happy and grins all weekend. Do one thing just for YOU too!!!

Meadow~ sending "non cookie" vibes out to you and a strong wish for your happiness too. maybe you need a break from it "all". We'll pick you up on the way to Nae's. I hear there are only critters there and no 2 legged animals. We should all be rested upon our return! With all your caring and great advice, you are so worth the effort that's within youf to and choose good things for yourself...... did I say that right? I'm sure you know what I mean. I found it easier to take on one challenge at a time. last week was exercising and this week was water. One day I hope to get it all going at the same time!
Maybe the Cookie Monster is NOT really our friend!

HAPPY WEEKEND EVERYONE AND SEE YA MONDAY!

Zippadee do dah. I am feeling light hearted!!! First day in a while.
I am actually having trouble eating enough. It is soooo foreign to me. I am feeling REAL hunger and then going to the kitchen and look around, I grab an apple to think on it, and go about my day. I feel like something inside of me has changed.

My oldest friend told me abut a website for people dealing with Borderline Personality Disorders in their families, her MIL is a LOT like my Mom. She was around my family every day in highschool, so saw parallels. She bugged me for 3 days to read this stuff. I reluctantly did. At first I thought it was pretty extreme, then I got to the message board for people with BPD Mom’s, every person there who talked about their lives, experiences and how they live now, could have been me. So whether or not my Mom has the disorder she definitely has the traits. As far as my “healing” goes I have done most of it on my own over the years but knowing what it is and how it affects me helps lift the guilt and sadness of cutting ties quite a bit more.Which I feel is necessary to my happiness. It also explains my Dad’s role, the Sis and the Aunt who is a lot like the Mom.
I am feeling lighter in spirit and know I will be more fulfilled even if it is hard.
Is is good for me to hear from here and from 2 close friends that my family is odd, I have been told all my life we are superior and everyone else is f*cked. I never bought into it but I have struggled with it. I love these people. I do think they are wonderful in many ways. My issues are more emotional and psychological. Hard to pin point and label.
My Dad told me my “facts” were wrong when I told him my “feelings”. The fact is my feelings are right because they are MINE.
A lot of what goes on for me is a gut reaction. I need to believe my gut. My gut has been telling me for several months that there was something going on under the surface and I was right. I know myself well enough and am in tune well enough to know this and I need to honour it.
Right now this feels like a last piece of the puzzle. I have worked very hard in the last year and a half to put my priorities in order for my fundimental happiness. It started with sorting our friendships, wich evolved into healing some hurts in my marriage, finding support to manage my son’s behaviour and finally letting go of a toxic relationship with my extended family. I still need to establish what the terms of “letting go” are. I am thinking holidays. I have deleted the BXB’s emails etc. I will keep in touch with Dad every couple of weeks with an update of our lives. Just the details no “feelings” involved.I will start there.
I feel taller, I am breathing easier, I am clear headed, no anxiety of waiting for the other shoe to drop......I feel peaceful and empowered.

Happy~ how goes the landscaping??? Move the lilies in front of the bushes!!!
Nae~ yay! on the water!! Enjoy your time with Bill. It sounds sweet and peaceful when you are with him.Enjoy the bike ride, Teeka and the robins!!

kids need me......

.....and
Mel~ I will do many things just for me this weekend. Thanks!I hope you do the same. Did you know it is 218 days, 13 hours and 8 minutes til Santa comes!!?
Enjoy your healthy cooking.
Shad ~ if you build I can paint it! LOL! The geography makes it pretty hard to accomplish but a nice excuse to travel.
Teel, Tig , YP,Meadow and Linus and Bump thinking of you all!!!

[QUOTE=Hollyhock]
I feel taller, I am breathing easier, I am clear headed, no anxiety of waiting for the other shoe to drop......I feel peaceful and empowered.

Yay!! Good on you, Hollyhock!! Go for it, my friend!! Glads you are feeling a bit better nowadays...ong may it last and improve!!

I have been out and bought the garage door paint today. I decided on darkish blue but when I got home I saw that a garage along the same block would be the same color so I think I'll go backi and exchange it for a different color...a friend asked what was my favourite color and I said "pink!". Somehow I don't think a pink garage door would look very good somehow!! I think I'll go for a scarlet red...its in the middle of a white door and a grey/silvery door so it needs to match up. At the moment it is yellow but I don't really like it very much...

Hollyhock did you really have to mention the "C" word ?

I shall give you a quick update on Linus and bump! They are both ok but Linus is working herself stupid packing boxes and has missed Conner all week who has been away on a school camp for the first time ever. They hope to get the keys for the new house in about 3 weeks time although Linus was hoping to get in and have a look before then to measure the second bedroom which is reportedly rather small. I'll try and encourage her to get on site for a quick blether...

Nae I hope the bike ride goes well at the weekend Also hope that the baby robins hatch out fine and well and chirpy!!

Bye for now. Happy weekend!!

oh Holly. All I can say is


There is only one major mall in town so you have to get your shopping done by September. You just HAD to remind me that I should be thinking about it, didn't you?

Will catch up with you ladies later...

Hi girlies , HELLO AUNT FANNY hi my lovely lady ,glad your feeling a wee bit better
YP hello and welcome to you ,were not all that bad bit crackers but harmless
Well folks i think im having a mini nervous breakdown the house has been delayed for 3 weeks i did foind out that the previous tenant died and lay for 4 days before being found ,his dog has been dead for 3 months in the attic ,and the next door neighbour is a nutter so that could explain the delays ,the kids playing footie beside my building are driving me nuts totally and utterly ,half the house is packed and the other half is in total disarray and we cant plan anything as we dont have a moving day yet My baby came home today ,god i missed him he on the other hand had a brill time and thoroughly enjoyed himself his clothes are minging and so is he but what the hey thats what mothers are for ,Craig is coping well with his exams hes half way through now ,3 next week and one the week after and hes finished
THE BUMP is brill its growing and im shrinking ,im getting loads of kicks now and absolutly am thrilled at being up 6 times during the night for the loo,doc has given me anti-sickness tablets now so instead of throwing up 10 times a day i only throw up 2 or 3 times now
all in all fairly good anyway im going to go and do more washing {the only thing im allowed to do at the mo }and ill be back tomorrow
kirsty+bump

Morning all,
Short and maybe sweet this morning as I have a busy day lined up.
DS2 has organsied a bloke to come out and do the service on my car at 8.30am this morning and DS2 himself is coming at 0800hours and is going to fix the sagging ceiling in my lounge room. Now that all the paint is off we can see where the problems are. Ie. not enough glue or nails to hold the darn thing up - it's a wonder it hasn't crashed down on my head some time back. I have to go into the roof space shortly and put some glue under the trusses to which the ceiling should be attached. Yikes, hope I don't fall through! I am sandinging a bit more plasterwork after that, which I did yesterday and then another undercoat will go on the walls I painted last weekend. With a bit of luck, the top coat will go on next weekend and the weekend after.
Then I have to go out and get some money for the bloke and food for the DS2 (who, wonder of wonders is embarking on a campaign of more healthy eating - hey mum I eat one piece of fruit per day!! Wonder if I can stand the improvement?

Today promises to be another great day weather wise. Pale mauve/ pink sky now turning blue and gold, the sun is about to rise and the temps should reach about 24 or 25. Perfect weather for budding the orchids and for the new little lettuce plants I put in yesterday. Spinach is up and away, the beetroot will be ready for picking soon and the tomatoes have managed about 4 inches in height in the last week. You just gotta love the Autumn/ Winter period. Bugs are down to a manageable level and the hopper critturs on the roses are so slow in the mornings, I can get them with the secateurs and chop them in half. They aren't so annoying when they are dead! Speaking of roses, all the bushes are budding up again so there should be a good display again soon. The Hot Chocolate rose looks like it should be a climber and not a bush rose - these great long shoots come up with a huge flourish of flowers on the end - maybe I will have to find a place where it can spread out against a wall or something. This rose has the most velvety appearance of any of my roses. The colour is stunning, going from hot orange to a warm dark tan/orange shade and just like burnished copper velvet. It's DS2's favourite along with the Shocking Blue rose. He's nuts on colour that boy.

Anyway, now that I have finished my coffee, I'm off. I'll be back later to report progress and catch up with the rest of you and make comments where needed.

Like maybe:-
Linus - take it easy.
Meadow - get your hand out of the cookie jar
Tig - watch those Thugs and you'll get your exercise running after them
And where is YP - is it Greece time already?
Mel - hope you are resting up as well as laundrying and cooking - and that you are not just getting away from big sister to get up to mischief
Teel - can't think what is wrong with a pink door. Red fades in the sun - uh oh, English weather, may be not
etc etc etc

Teel-Go RED! That will be a real stunner on the garage door, are you thinking a bright cherry red or more burgundy? If it has panels on it you could actually put a different colour in each bit

Linus-Do you think you will have a haunting? You aren't getting a good nights sleep where you are, just think how hard it is going to be with some spirit moaning at the top of the stairs and rattling his chains Don't throw things at the computer now, you know I am just kidding I'm sorry things are in such disarray and the schedule it put back three weeks, don't you hate these kids of hiccups in the momentum? You want to be settled. Hugs to you and your little passenger.

Shad-Stay on the joices and don't fall through the ceiling!! I'm worried now, I have a picture in my head of a big spider Tarzaning down in front of you while you are trying to glue and you throw up you hands, lose you balance and kerplunk, you are looking up through the dust at a big hole. I'm such an optimist Now it can't happen that way because I've typed it and it would make me physic if it did, and I'm not, so it won't

Mel-How organized is your freezer? Reading all the stuff you are chopping and putting into yours made me think about mine, just a big jumble of odd bits like bread and frozen juice tins. What do you do with a pot of oatmeal? Do you reheat it through the week? I hope you do not spend all your time in the kitchen and the weather gives you a chance to take a spin outside.

Holly-everybody's family is odd. I bet my family could be diagnosed with all sorts of controlling/passive aggressive disorders. The verbal stuff alone... don't get me started I would love to hear what inside of you has changed so that you can exist on just an apple. I hope whatever is making you feel empowered keeps up. Got to be good to have you feeling this way

Rose-way to go with the water drinking? That is great! So you and Bill?! Any sparks during the grass eradications? Fingers crossed that your flirting was successful and he is a frequent visitor from now on

Happy-yes, I agree with Holly! Move the lilies, they are hardy plants they can take a digging and keep on blooming. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas :sman: :sball2: I was even drinking out of a Christmas glass this afternoon. Tick, tock

I haven't had any cookies in two days, sure they are still there but not on my radar anymore. I've switched to cheddar cheese. Probably stress related now because of the house stuff. My husband doesn't want me talking to the builder. Says we will fix the sink stuff after he leaves We fight about it, it isn't my fault, it isn't his fault, it is the builders but we can't have "him" involved in the discussion because I might offend Am I stuffing feelings? Probably but I'll have plenty of more stress when we actually start packing and move. Why can't I get that "not eating" type of stress related affect? Why does mine have to be a full tummy? Rats, rats and double rats!!

Meadow I had to smile when I saw your word flirting.... I don't think I am flirting but I finally asked Bill to lunch tomorrow he is coming up to check on his knap weed spraying so I finally got the invitation to come out of my mouth. I could spend hours just talking to this man...he is the smartest man I want his brain when he leaves this earth..... I have teased him I want a brain transplant........
So lunch will be fun and I will get an education .... it just goes without saying when I spend any time with him..... by all rights he should be dead ... he survived the most horrific heart surgeries..... that is why my good friends we all need to do a 5 wishes living will....... it is more defined to your care... this man is a perfect example of good heart care and determination by a medical team to keep someone alive...... really makes you question just a DNR order on a patient.
Anyway, I am sort of excited to entertain tomorrow....
I had elk in my yard this morning which is unusual this late in the spring... eating my goodies in the yard....
Take care everyone and have a great weekend....
Peace,
Nae

I am having a very hard day emotionally. I had an email from my Dad. He is very hurt. This is the first time in my entire life he has ever talked about anything of significance/depth with me.It shook me up. In a way it is a blessing.
Did some gardening, reading, talking with DH, biking and cuddles with the kiddies.....
I feel in a way I am mourning because I know that things have shifted for my family. I know it is what is best for me but it is sad.
Meadow~ I dont think we really have the disorder going on but it was helpful to see the "roles " we play. Mine especially and how I can change it.
I have a lot of esteem issues tied in with my Mom and with bringing things to the surface( which no one has ever done before, me included) has changed the dynamic. I feel different. I honestly am not eating to comfort or stuff feelings. I do think it was a habit from old issues.At mid aft i sit and eat and eat when kids are quiet, and I eat and eat at night. I am just not doing it. Maybe I dont feel as empty inside. Maybe taking control of this issue has been empowering.
I have been feeling very fulfilled in my life in almost every way but I have been having odd feelings, getting odd signals from the extended family for a few months. I have stopped it.
I was shocked to see today is was 5pm and I ate breaky at 9am . I was feeling true hunger. I did not over eat(binge). It was great. I know I should eat lunch but it is such a change from consatntly thinking of food, the next meal, grazing because I feel empty.
Wow~ that got deeper than I intended. That is how an apple carried through the aft.LOL!!

Nae~ you sound wonderful!!!
Shad~ be safe!
Linus~ HUGs, happy you popped in.HUGS to your boys, Hubby and Bump!!!!

HI Chicks!!

So it is the end of a productive weekend. I'm feeling pleasantly tired and will not be too long out of bed tonight.

Today, I have assisted the young guy to service my car. Not that he needed much help but I fetched and carried and went for the pre-requisite drive before and after and absorbed much information about filters, carbies, oils, radiators, hoses airbags and onboard computers that I really don't need.

DS2 arrived on time at 0800 which was a real surprise. The mechanic was late. No surprise. Then we got to work jacking up the ceiling and screwing in the plaster screws. The ceiling has risen about 1cm or 1/2inch. Now all 'I have to do' is to putty up the holes, bang in the hanging nails and then sand and paint - oh yeah. With my fussy reputation, I have the feeling the finish ceiling could be weeks away yet and more than a few cricks in the neck. Still the job is now done. Another one to wipe off the list I guess.

I've planted out some lettuces, picked some roses, weeded some gardenbeds and done loads of washing which is now ready to be folded up and put away - with a bit of ironing in the middle. And all I have left of the list to do is the ironing and folding and the dishes and packing my weights bag for tomorrow night. It'll be another busy week at work with no doubt some long hours involved.

Oh yes and my eldest brother DB1 who is a complete luddite electronically, has bought a computer. At least DSIL has been out and bought the thing. Now they need help in how to use it, install programs, get email, use XP, virus', well just about everything really. So I have promised a couple of hours on Tuesday as long as they feed me. It will make my day incredibly long - leave home at 5.30, train at 6.00, work at 6.45, leave work 4.30 or 5.00pm, drive to DB1 place and leave there around 8.30 to get home around 9.00. Arghhh I'm whinging again.

Meadow, thanks for the concern, but spiders are not my problem. Mice and rats are tho. However I am happy for spiders to haunt my attic and around the outside of the house. I'm not fussy about them taking up residence inside. They are so big around here too, but spiders eat flies and other nasties that eat my vege - long live the spider. I'm pretty good on joists and beams if I say so myself. I have this vision of getting drowned in the insulation up there so I watch what I do very closely. Some time back I took up some wide flat boards and screwed them into the top of the joists so I have some solid walking and sitting space up there. I am probably the only one in the family who can stand upright up there. The others are too tall.
So you are out of the cookie jar and now have to keep your hands off the cheddar. I think I might use them instead to throttle the DH and the builder probably in that order.

Roseblush - age is not that relevant, if he is nice cultivate him. If he is smart then use the brain power. Such men are hard to find, generally they haven't yet taken their brain out of the wrapping it came in. Brain power makes for good conversation and intelligent use of the hands mostly. They need cultivating. Hope you have a good visit and many more.

Holly, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with the family. Your dad sounds very concerned. He probably has not picked up on the unspoken vibes and is confused with the whole issue. I would simply keep up the contact with him to reassure him that you are happy and well content with your lot and stuff the rest. You have done well by yourself, you are not dependant on any of them and give thanks for that blessing. Surround yourself with more positive people.

Okay, no word from happy this weekend? She must be flat out busy.
And I need to go do the dishes, write a couple of emails to friends I haven't heard from in a while and go to bed - a domani.

Morning everyone,

Shad - I'm not in Greece quite yet - I head off first thing on Tuesday morning. I did the airport run late last night though to pick my mother up as she's come over from Spain to go to Greece with me (I promise it makes more sense than it looks from that sentence!).

this morning was and more . I set a new PB for 5k on the treadmill, I'm getting faster pretty much every time I try it which is encouraging. I'm also within a smidgen of hitting 2 1/2 stone lost. I've almost nailed that extra pound, but not quite.

Teel - Poor little Holly. I hope she is okay. Sometimes they fall awkwardly and get a twizzle in their spine. Keep us posted won't you.

It wasn't me mentioning Christmas - perish the thought. I have perfect weather here for the next 4 or 5 months - why should I want the cruddy Christmas weather back.

Hope the builder has been and gone and done his thing for you. You must be tired of sweaty men in the house by now.

YP - only hours now before you go to Greece. Hope you have a wonderful time. Just don't forget to come back and tell us all about it will you.

Been a busy day on the work front. I got up real early this morning and got to work at 6.30. Been flat out ever since but packed up and left at 4.00 because I had just had enough. There are some stupidities around and I get fed up with them from time to time. Happens in just about every implementation. I hope that when they get around to the next revenue stream, they have ironed out some of the bugs that we keep finding. While I'm on that subject can someone tell me why the flaming trainers always seem to find the bugs. What happened to testing, user acceptance, and plain old lets see if this works in the design stage??

Lunch time I went out and sat in the sun with a book again. It was nice and soothing. Tomorrow I must go and do a bit of shopping and see if I can find some more T's and shirts to wear. Maybe a pair of trousers as well. Many of my trouser are getting too big.

Went to the gym after work and did a 45 minute workout on the weights and resistance. Definitely getting stronger in the upper body as I can now support myself on my arms for much longer periods of time. But I am so looking forward to seeing some results. It just seems that nothing is happening. Hopefully all things will get it together shortly. I'm failing in the water department I think. Food is not too bad tho'

So now having been to gym and am all hyped up, I better go do something while the energy lasts. By the smell of me, a shower might be a grand idea. Few dishes to do and maybe some ironing. That should fix tonight. Early morning again tomorrow. It's good to have an hour or so under your belt by the time the rest get there. I can more done in that hour than for most of the rest of the day.

Be good. See ya