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Old 06-19-2005, 06:50 PM   #376  
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Happy, maybe the below bit will let you see why I am interested in getting below the 72kg mark. 60 may be the goal, but I'll settle for a bit more.

Let me go back to when I was young and probably stupid. No lets be honest and upfront. I was a young mother with 2 kids, a cat, some birds, a husband, a business and a house with huge mortgages, no money and not much of a life.

Bear with me, I may get to the point sooner or later.

In those days we were broke but happy. After the birth of each child I went straight back to pre birth weight within 4 or 5 days. Then as now, good wholesome food was expensive and the not so good stuff cheaper. We ate lots of bread, lots of potatoes, sausages, the good old Sunday roast, mince etc. etc. My father had a big garden and kept us supplied with a lot of fresh veges too.

The new house was on the side of a hill and I walked everywhere and tried to clear the block as well. For example I would take the kids to swimming lessons. Bus over the hill, train to the pool, swim and then walk back to the bus. We couldn’t afford to train both ways. It was probably about 7 or 8 kilometres. I pushed the kids in their buggy - two of them, one 2 and the other 21 months younger. I was in shape. There wasn’t an ounce of fat anywhere. I weighed 54k. Money got tighter, I lost more weight and got to 47Kg. I was then too thin and got sick. I’ll never forget how bad I felt. The husband was useless in the kitchen, useless in the garden, and not much chop around the house. There was no way I could lie around feeling sorry for myself. I struggled on. Dr diagnosed malnutrition - huh?? To cut a long story short, the only way to make things better was to give up the evening job I had, find a full time job and help husband out with the business. Eventually I got back to 54kg where I stayed for the next 10 years or so.

All of the above occurred before I was 35. Since then we have moved to Australia, separated, the kids have grown into good solid citizens and I am a fairly successful self-employed, well travelled person. Unfortunately with the move and the prosperity came the weight. I went from 54 to nearly 80 (that’s what I was when my father passed away). Went to Townsville where it is exceedingly easy to gain weight because it is too hot to do much else apart from drink and eat in the summertime at least.

I got the weight down to 75kg and thanks to a gym membership from DS2 a couple of Christmas’ ago, it is now at around 72. I say around because it could be 71.5 or even 71 or it could be 73. Those fluctuations I live with. I have lost inches. I have achieved. I am happy about that. However.........
Now we are stalled again despite increased workouts. I begin to wonder whether I should stop putting pressure on myself. I wonder whether I should just learn to love myself at this weight. I know I am never going to be stick thin. I never was, so how can I change that. I know I am not going to ever be 54 again. I was aiming for 60 but right now this just seems to far away to comtemplate. I can feel the muscle there it is rock hard - just 2 inches of flab between the outside skin and the muscle. What do I have to do to get rid of it.

I’m beginning to believe that the tribal side of my genes has kicked in and I am destined to be short and square with short fat paddles for feet for the rest of my days.

There are days when the struggle seems to much, days when no achievement is possible. Days where it would be so nice to simply pull up the covers and tell the world to take a running jump (or words to that effect).

In the days where I was President of the local weight club, if someone said to me - how can I lose 10K in a hurry I would reply - chop off a leg. My dad has been dead 11 years now and I have lost just 8kg. Not even a kilo a year. Am I not trying hard enough?
I am healthy enough. No problems there - all the medical insurance places around town might not agree with me. I don’t get sick, rarely even get the common cold and since menopause have not had more than a day or two off work in 10 years. I count those blessings every morning.

Sure the inches have come off. Screeds of them - but even so I have only moved down 1 dress size. I must have been wearing clothes awfully tight previously - either that or the manufacturers have devalued the sizes again. A pox on all manufacturers.

Such a dilemma. What should I do? Get horribly hacked off and give up in disgust. Nope that’s not my nature. Just maintain as I am - after all I am a superb maintainer, I can do it with my eyes closed. Or carry on much as I am and wait for the miracle in which all becomes clear (or smaller in my case).

I’m off to ponder the questions of life. Just as I thought I began to know the answers to life’s questions, the b*stards have changed the questions.

Holly - so nice to hear that you have had a good family reunion. They can either be fun or a PIA.

I found a couple of places in Nova Scotia and Spain that should suffice for our use as both summer and winter homes. Thanks to cyber space, I can add an NZ backdrop and all the sun on snow or heat in winter we require. I'll work it out at home tonight.

Now I had better stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with doing some work for which I will get paid.
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Old 06-19-2005, 06:54 PM   #377  
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Oh and while I think of it - they don't wear the sarong in NZ. The Maori wear the Piupiu - woven top of flax (primitive form of linen) and skirt. The the grass skirt over the top of that. The weave and patterns on top and grass skirt denote the tribe and the position of the wearer in the tribe. Islanders wear sarongs. Although many islanders also wear a grass skirt type thing.
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Old 06-19-2005, 09:48 PM   #378  
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Meadow pops another strawberry jam laden pankcake into my mouth as she reads about Shad's dilemma of the stubborn exercise resistent pounds. Says to herself "will I ever be there?" "Will I have a pinch of flesh that bugs me hanging around one day?" Sure would be nice to feel muscles that are rock hard on me or someone else for that matter I admire your dedication Shad, there are lots of ways to travel forward, I truly hope that your journey involves lots of occasions were you get a chance to enjoy the view before you move on I am on your side always. Big hug for the past , your future is bright and shining , onward weight warrior princess!
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Old 06-20-2005, 08:18 AM   #379  
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Meadow~ your graphic is hilarious. HUGS!!
Shad~ thank you for sharing your story.

Have I ever mentioned that my husband is a real life MacGyver? (remember the show where the guy could make a bomb out of a gum wrapper and twigs?)
Most of our tools and electronics have been refurbished in some way including the step ladder.
So, I had picked up this pretty windchime at the dollar store and decided to hang it.I place the step ladder along the side of the shop and send DS on a quest for a nail.
I am on the ladder hammering away and the ladder decides to fold up with me in the middle of it. So, now there is a a large redhead hanging onto a nail with one hand and clinging to the side of the shop, spiderman-like with the other with both legs completely twisted into this ladder. My brave 6 yo son pushed down on the bottom step so I could wiggle one foot out and then unfold the ladder. Needless to say my right leg is scraped from knee to ankle and my body is seriously aching from being yanked and twisted .
Never dull around here.
I got ALL my cleaning done yesterday and i am enjoying it thoroughly!!!!!
I was a lovely day. The SS potluck was warm and fuzzy. I made smoked porkchops and lazy cabbage rolls for DH for supper. DS gave his daddy a book he made in school about the things he loves about his dad. It was very heartening and touching to see the ways DH has brightened DS’s world.
5 kids today. 2nd last week of school. I am sad about that. I will miss everyone there.
Baseball tonight.
I need to focus on healthy balanced meals today.

Have a radiant day.
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Old 06-20-2005, 05:37 PM   #380  
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hi chickies ,this could be very long winded as i refuse to get off the comp until i catch you all up on whats been happening in mental central !!!!!!
well start with the house
the remaining parts of our kitchen {2 wall units and a 6 foot lenth of worktop}will be fitted on thursday so we will officially have a kitchen and we actually might be able to unpack the last 3 boxes of kitchen stuff???? a tip for all of you who might be wanting to move house do not move from a kitchen with 2 double and 2 single base units ,4 wall units and 20ft of worktop ,to a kitchen with one wall unit and one base unit and 4 foot of workspace it doesnt work and your poor goldfish will have to go and live with granny till you get a kitchen so all we have to do in the kitchen is decied what quarry tiles we are having and what colour we are painting it and the kitchen will be done
the bathroom floor and the hall floor are to be replaced on thursday too ,they are very smelly {the previous tenent was an alcoholic and didnt aim too good either did his dog} and the over bath shower will be fitted within 8 weeks as will the tiles and rails and extractor fan and then the bathroom will be finished the front door is a pvc one which comes complete with frame sills and ledges and has had to be ordered and then fitted as one so we cant lay the rest of the laminate flooring down or decorate there either but the door will be here within 3 weeks now ,so the house should be finished by the time the baby arrives
the garden is another matter or should i say jungle hubby bought me a new digi cam for my birthday{very expensive and bewildering }so when i work out how to use it ill post piccies ,it will take a long time to get on top of the garden but i love having one again and am looking forward to pottering
now the kids conner is just good old conner gotta love that kid always smiling always happy and just one complete star i love him so much ,craig has chosen to go back to school to start his 5th year instead of waiting the 6 weeks recommended by the hossie as he will be on summer break in 2 weeks ,he has promised to be carefull and not run about and he was so bored ,there is a very good reason the kids so thin !!!!! he doesnt know his backside is for sitting on ,but i think hes looking forward to getting his teeth into his new subjects ,physics,philosophy just to name 2 of them {and no i dont know where he got his brains from }right my body wants to soak in the bath so ill come back and finish this in half an hour -ish
bye for just now
kirsty
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Old 06-20-2005, 07:40 PM   #381  
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Hello Worldly chicks!! so we are moving soon?!?! Good....I could use a change of scenery and SHAD...don't forget to pick me up a few puipui!!! and some skirts!I'd like to dresss native style. do I need knickers under those skirts?!
Today's eye newws was not good at all. if I cannot get the rosacea in the eyes under control I must take the antibiotics for at least another 6 months. I don't think my stomach, female region or water retention could take that treatment again!!! So I'll watch the pc, get rid of spices etc and do the drops and washes and hope when I go back in 2 weeks that there will be improvement. It's up under the upper lid this time and they say it's worse than the last time. Most are agreeing it's the aftermath of stress from the bus thing cause it came on so suddenly. (sigh) I think I will take a more permanent vacation off the journals and spend quality time now on this forum and my weight forum. Everything I do is with these eyes so something has got to give. Also telling Clara I cannot help her for an indefinite amount of time. Cutting back on anything that doesn't help ME!!!

It was a long day today. also just got home a short while ago and in need of a shower and jammies!!! They always make me feel so much better. I did get a piece of good info....we all talked about my weight loss and now the lack of it. Most agreed this may be what happy was just saying....my body's sitting weight. also my "potbelly" is mostly from being a shallow breather and they develop bellies or so they all said. It's the lack of muscle tone in that area that cannot be fixed in someone like me. so I am feeling more vindicated as I had thoughts of this nature and was wondering. I will continue my "healthy" lifestyle and see what happens. I just said all this a few days ago in the journal and it seems i and a few other drs were right.

Hope you are all well...sounds like it. take care and have a great night....Good Morning Miss Sunshine
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Old 06-20-2005, 09:31 PM   #382  
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I vote mountains and wine.

I ran again this morning. I'm improving my time, even in this heat and humidity early in the mornings. I'm hoping the first race for the running club is in September. There is another lady whose birthday is in October who will move up to the next age group that I move to only if the first race is after her birthday. Come on September! Not that I'm competitive...
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Old 06-20-2005, 11:44 PM   #383  
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Spain, Mountains, Wine, Water, Sun, Sea, Forest, Nova Scotia, grass skirts - you lot want it all. Okay, well I will have to see if you can have it all.

Linus, I posted your parcel today. Lady tells me it should be there in a couple of weeks. So maybe it will be there at the same time as Teel???? Who knows. Enjoy it anyway.

I'm posting from work again, trying to get things done here is a bit like scraping your nails down the blackboard - can you feel the aggro building??? Anyway, I can't hang about, I have 3 or 4 more Exercise workbooks to write. Figure out the subject, figure out what data is required and enter all the data (so far today 90 business partners and 90 tasks. Still not finished. More to go. Meetings from 3.00 to 4.00 oclock and first training session of this stuff on Friday (today is Tuesday). The impossible I do straight away, miracles take a few minutes longer.

Good onya Tig - wishing evil on the competitors. Just love it to bits. Not that you are competitive - no way.

Linus seems to be having fun with the new house. Maybe I should have sent over some garden vouchers instead. Take it easy. Life happens.

Loved Holly's story on the ladder. I thought those sorts of things only happened to me. Thank heaven the DS was there to help.

Gosh Meadow you do come up with the greatest graphics. And get out of the pancakes. Tut Tut

Sorry to hear about the eyes MEL. Look after them. You wont miss a lot on the journals - I'll let you know if some excitement happens there.

Gotta go. Catch ya
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Old 06-21-2005, 12:09 AM   #384  
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Hey Shad, get off the computer and go write those workbooks I see your little light shinin' there.
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Old 06-21-2005, 12:28 AM   #385  
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Quickie drive by for me tonight.

Now that you've explained it Shad, I understand your dillema and frustration. Sounds like you did compromise a few pounds upwards but given the level of effort, I'd sure expect to see results. By all means, DON'T go by the clothes sizes in the stores. Don't know what they're drinking when they are making clothes lately. For the last 2 years or so I've had to try EVERYTHING on. Was frustrated because I had to buy some good work clothes for this job - and found a pair of black pants that were quite suitable. Tried them on and they fit just right. Decided to get a second pair in the same size, same color. Got them home and the second pair is tight! Same rack, same style, same size. Argggghhh. Whatever you do, don't give up in the least. Keep plugging away. If nothing else, you are mega healthy and you know that's money in your pocket at the end of the day.

Oh Mel, I am sorry to hear about those pesky peepers of yours. Wish there was something that could be done - I will read to you once a week if you like - DH is cutting me back on the electricity (air conditioning) and long distance phone calls. Guess my free spending days are coming to a close Feel better tho. Hope the rosacea clears up proto. Interesting to see that belly fat develops from shallow breathing. Guess that's why I have a belly now that I gave up smoking - not a deep breather any more! Wait till I tell DH that one I'm also glad that you put off Clara, sounds like she was getting a bit demanding and you have to take care of yourself first.

Good heavens Linus, by the time you get done you'll have an all new house there! Sounds nice you must learn how to use the camera by Teel's visit AND we will expect pictures of Bump no less.

Meadow, I have snatched your strawberry pancakes and fed them to the jaws of Holly's bendy ladder. Owwww. Glad you're ok Holly, it was a funny visual of a red head hanging by a nail but it could have been a terrible accident. Glad you managed just a few scrapes and that you're ok.

I did manage a quick swim after work. DH put more water in the pool so it was a bit cool - well actually more than a bit. But I went really, really fast which I guess is the point of a good cardio workout. Today really dragged at work. I want the days to go fast but JUST for this week. Then they can DRAG by very slowly next week. Yeah, like that will happen The question is... will she get everything that needs to be done by Friday in time for guests? Answer: probably not. I'll probably pull an all nighter Friday evening rushing around like an idiot. But it will be worth it.

Got to go get my beauty rest now - even though up to this point it hasn't been doing much good. G'night all, g'day Shad.
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Old 06-21-2005, 11:17 AM   #386  
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What a gorgeous day!!!!
OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING......LA LA LA LA

One load of the mountaneous wash is done. Went for a ride/walk with the maint. supervisor. He needed some "space" too and asked if he could join me. good for him cause he's diabetic and overweight....needs some exercise. Love the coolness today at least till this afternoon! Getting my ducks lined up in a row for some kind of regimen with all my needs. Might just buy a watch too.....one with an alarm!!

Shad~ What a life we have led huh?!?!? lucky we only have weight issues and not living in mental institutions!
For the life of me I cannot figure out what the problem is. But I think the gene thing is the closest. I look like my short, stubby Welsh grandmother. I think the skinny years were brought on by nerves and over-doing everything. maybe undernmeath it all we really ARE sisters!

Happy~ Hope the visit is a great one and the time goes slow while there! have fun and enjoy! Funny but MY beauty rest isn't working either. maybe my contract ran out How is Rocky?!?!? Catch him yet????

Meadow~ I am thinking of pancakes now! LOL How goes the exercising?! Any luck? I get cravings for things like that and keep the boxes in the back of the cupboard. I tried throwing them out but NOT having them there made it worse! How is the new home coming along!? Any bloodshed yet?!

Tig~WOW!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! For an OLD lady....you run pretty fast!!!! Can't wait for September to see how you do!!! Wipe her off the road!!! How are the Thugs doing?!!?(I laugh each time I see that)ROFLMAO

Teel~ Hope Mom is OK and are you ready for the vacation?!?!? You lucky devil you!!!! kiss Baby Bump for me!!! or give Bump a wee pat!!!How is the decorating?

Linus~ Sorry the house needed so much work and at your stage too!!! Glad you got the house though. Getting some rest in between?!?! Best not to answer that question or we'll all be over there giving you "what for"

Well Chicks....gotta put the wash away and get some lunch....... love to all.

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Old 06-21-2005, 05:52 PM   #387  
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Morning all.
I'm back again for another stint at work. Working hard as you can see. I'm hoping to be out of here for 3.30pm today since I have no meetings and no training and yesterdays thumping of the keyboard produced so many questions to which there appear to be no answers !$^#%# Go live date - 4th July. Should be fireworks spectacular I suspect. Might also turn out to be a whimper. I should not presume. Never presume! Also turned up a portal defect of showstopper proportions - and I did not deliberately do the action, it was something anyone could have done and should have been tested for - tech heads have been working on it most of the night so I am told. Tough hey?

Tough workout last night at the gym, but achievements were made. When Jason gave me my new workout list I could not use the ChinHipDip thingy - could only hang there and count to ten twice before I ran out of upper body muscle - mostly shoulders and arms. Let me explain better. This contraption expects you climb on the footrest and reach up to rest your forearms on the pads you then take your feet off the footrest and are supposed to swing the legs out and up while holding oneself on the frame with the forearms and hands holding the gripper thingys. Now I'm short so it takes an effort just to get into the right position. Anyway I started off with two hanging session of 10 seconds each and worked up to 7 or 8 and then 10. So then I thought I would try the kick bit and managed one x 10 kicks. However having persevered through the aching muscles of the shoulders, arms and neck I now find I can do 4 x 10 kicks and space it out with 4 x 10sec hanging. Anyway to cut a long story short, last night I was kicking away there and hanging on for grim death and counting the seconds when all of a sudden I encountered resistance. Humpphhh - open screwed up eyes to find I have kicked the large and well muscled butt of a man. Quite hard too I think. Hop off the contraption, apologise profusely to this giant bloke who laughed and said that the first time he tried the contraption, he kicked his trainer squarely in the jaw. I am impressed and in awe. I don't think I will ever be able to kick high enough to get anyone in the jaw!!!!!

Wishing a quick week to Happy, better sights and times for Mel (keep up the walks with the super - it's good to have a companion. However...... do not go so fast that you give the man a heart attack or stroke or whatever....... you've had enough trouble this year!!!! Hope Holly is okay and hello to all. Have a grand day.
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Old 06-21-2005, 07:52 PM   #388  
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now wasnt that some bath ?????? sory i got out and fell asleep,was trying to get on earlier but andy and craig are doping the battle of wills again with me in the middle!!!!!! teel says hi she is playing at a concert tonight ,and will be on soon ,ive got my health visitor coming tomorrow morning and the kitchen and bathroom and hall to be done on thursday so im off for some beauty sleep
bye for now kirsty+bump
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Old 06-21-2005, 09:59 PM   #389  
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HI, i have been here reading off and on today, thought I posted. Still achey from the spiderwoman escapade. Doing gentle side twists. 9 kids most of the the day. BUSY!!
Just 3 tomorrow AM and then just DD for the aft!!! Nice!
Off to relax a bit!!
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Old 06-22-2005, 12:41 AM   #390  
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Oh Shad, I am IMPRESSED with your progress on the chin dip thingy. WOW!!!!! I know just how hard that is to master and the strength it takes. Good on yah woman. And strong arms and neck too. whoo hoo. Guess who'll be wearing a muscle shirt next summer.

Let's see animal update... Rocky the raccoon is still lurking about. I think he snitched new Kitty's food last night. I think we're down to one raccoon from two. Progress? DH took a walk tonight down to the neighbors. Took new visiting kitty with him. Neighbor said yep, it's their kitty but would we like her? (They have 4). DH got all the history from friendly neighbor but told her that he had an agreement with me - I don't smoke, he doesn't get a cat INSIDE the house. Both parties agreed that nameless kitty can visit any time she likes. As if we could stop her. I was in the pool after work and she peeked over the fence top and came and joined me at a safe distance from splashing waters. Then she jumped the fence and a pair of mockingbirds were not happy with her and were divebombing her. Birds 1, Cat 0. I just hope the cat is not stupid enough to go after the raccoon, it would tear her apart as she is mostly fluff and long hair. Neighbor said they try to keep her in for the night.

Now there is something new and mysterious bleating in the night airs around here. Started up about a week and a half ago. There are 2 of them and sometimes they sound close, sometimes they call to each other. I am a city girl and I don't know animals. First night I heard them I thought they were baby somethings in distress. None of the neighbors know what the sound is. DH and I took a walk around the neighborhood but could not pinpoint the exact location of the sound. There are several horse pastures here, I said it sounds like baby lambs or goats. DH laughed and said I wouldn't have the slightest idea what lambs and goats sound like. So... well yes... but... I'm allowed to guess for a fabulous prize, eh?

I can't wait until sister gets here. Found a nursery that in addition to plants and garden things has these incubators with live baby chicks and ducks and turkeys. We're in the city but actually not too far from farms and rural areas so I guess there is a market for young poultry. Anyway, sister and I will gush over the baby chicks until our husbands are asked to take us out of the store But they are used to that. I'm sure DH was mortified when I rushed over to see what the peeping was the first time and then started talking to the chicks and trying to pet them. When he came by me, I begged to be allowed to buy a few for the yard. But he just said Party pooper!

Anyway... you can imagine a fun time will be had by all. I am trying to behave myself diet wise. Getting some exercise in, muscles are sore today. Am practicing portion control and only eating half portions and being satisfied I must say. Water is pretty good but could be improved.

Eeek, just peeked at the clock, almost midnight. Best go before I turn into a pumpkin!! Nighty night all...
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