[pacman12]

Kel, I have to agree on exercise. When I was really depressed, the psychologist said to just aim to get out for 5 mins once or twice a day. Once you get out, you usually decide to keep going for 5 more minutes.... and it does make you feel better.

[smylie]

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY
i was about to hop on here and tell amy what for!!! coz all i got on my email (yes i got an email update!!) was amy - thats it i am quitting so i didnt have time to hop on the last couple of days but had been thinking about it big time for when i did and there you go tricking us
pretty inspirational though the way you keep going and get yourself out of trouble, i just KNEW that the way you'd been going lately there had to be a reason for putting on weight - you've been doing really well

thanks heaps for all the support with the doctor stuff everyone
you are all right
correct diagnosis yes will help BUT this chick i saw was too excited that SHE had diagosed that or that SHE could save me money or that SHE had these great ideas - i really wasnt that excited for HER - do you know what i mean??
example - i mentioned how the other night i got so so so so so frustrated and upset coz jem was disturbing me watching law and order and woke up in "my time" at about 10.30 i honestly didnt want to go into her room for two reasons - one coz i would miss the show and two coz i would shake her to shut her up (i didnt) anyway this chick was like 'you should tape it' ok so i WAS taping it but the point wasnt that i was going to miss my show it was that i honestly couldnt cope with jem making noise right then..... know what i mean?
anyway awesome doc today gave me referral to someone else so we will see how that goes but inthe mean time i am making heaps of progress kicking myself in the butt - just a pity i have put weightloss on the low priority list while i get my head and my house up to scratch BUT the dumbchick shrink said that she starts with the physical side of things coz if u are not eating or sleeping or exercising well then nothing will be good - and that a good point!

have an awesome sunday everyone

[amouse]

lmao kel i cant believe it sent you that email and none of the others... that is great... im killing myself laughing here..

Im going fine now back down to 267 and very happy to be here..

I have been doing my elliptical first thing in the morning.. and that has been good up untill this morning anyway.. Its the third early morning workout for me and i was stuggling.. I ignored it and kept going.. thinking the first morning i did it was a little hard too.. but yesterday moniong was easy.. But th mornig i got to 15 minutes .. and had to stop.. i got all light headed and dizzy.. so i got off it had a glass of oj and some water.. rested for 20 minutes then did the other 15 minutes.. but at a slower pace..

I think i had a few things working againest me this am..
1 i worked out for 30 minutes last night after tea so had depleted my stores of nutrients.. so too low blood sugar level
2 im getting a cold and have alot of chest congestion.. so less oxygen
3 i think i might have been a bit dehydarted becuase of all this mucous.

I checked my heart rate and to get it where i want it 135 bpm .. i had to go 4 k/h slower then i usually do.. so thats what i did .. so instead of my usually 9.5 kms in 30 minutes.. i think i got maybe 7 kms...

Im finding it interesting how much my heart rate can change when sick ( not that i feel bad at all really just a little stuffy).. so i now know to take it easier when im not 100% .

kel i like the quacks opinion on food sleeo and exercise.. even though her other stuff is crap.. lol.. as far as getting annoyed at distrubed me time... umm thats normal.. all us parents gets annoyed with that.. i would let my horrors cry till the add break.. we shouldnt have to tape everything we watch.. lol.. honestly rhough if your getting angry enough you feel like you could shake her.. just leave her to make her noise and hopefully she will go back off on her.. own.. maybe its time.. to let her cry it out and learn how to self settle? she defiantly old enough.. and that will make it easier on you.. what do you think?

[amouse]

I had a terrible day.
i was dizzy with my workout..
Then i got tired at midday and went and lyed down to watch tv and fell asleep.
Then Leah woke me up screaming her head off. she was in pain but couldnt tell me where.. i gave her some panadol.. and she fell asleep
when she woke she was hot as **** and in agony.. she was yelling crying and screaming all at once..
I took her to the doctor.. she has an ear infection.. so they gave me antibiotics to give her..
so now im worries aout her having them since she is allergic to so many chemicals.. and john inst here if anything goes wrong..
when we got home i had a call from john on of his work colleges.. hung himself at the refinary last night he jumped off the jetty with a rope around his neck. he was upset..
We tryed to chat on the net but his connection was hitty and we both got very frustrated becuase it wasn't working.. The kids got upset becuase they wanted to talk to daddy and couldn't
after they went to bed.. ( cameron was crying becuase gladiators wasn't on tonight .. omg someone please shoot me) JOhn rang me on the mobile.. his boss has said he cant come home one week earlier in september for his kids birthdays.. Leahs is the 14th and Cameron is the 23rd.. we were planning having the party on the 20th for the both of them like we always do JOhn would come home on the 18th.. and we planned to do Leahs birthday on the 19th.. ( she doesnt understand dates yet so could be done easily.. ) and hen Cameron birthday on his day the 23rd and john would leave again on the 26th.. Cameron understands dates.. and as a kid i couldnt think of anything more heart breaking then not having your daddy home for your 8th birthday..

They say they are a family freindly company.. surely they have kids or remember being kids ... and ralise how important this is.. to my son.. We will not let them break Camerons heart.. John will be hoe one way or another.. but.. He had said he doesnt want to go back to town money.. Im so sick of living the life of a single mother.. and my relationship with my husband is faiding away.. he has told me he feels like a single man.. up there.. and he wants to go somewhere else and do this.. he is now talkign about roxby downs.. which is only 1 hour flight from aedliade but.. he will stiull be away .. ill still be alone.. the kids will still miss him..

We have all had enough but John just wants the money.. Im so upset.. i just want my life back.. i want a hubby at my side.. what good is money if your not happy?.. I wantnhim to work here.. after septmeber i plan on wroming too.. while leah is in kindy.. so it will be easier then before.. our morgage is now below 100k im sure we can manage.. now ..

so yeah i have spent most of the night crying.. i even got out the damn nutella and had a drink of baileys even though my calories are done for the day.. ok i had one heaped tesppon before making myself cry again
putting it away and scrubbing my floors on my hands and knees instead.. i have almost replaced emotinal eating with emotional cleaning... lol almost... lol.. in the past that jar would be gone.. so one spoon as heaped as it was is ok i suppose.. ..

ok i have vented.. i sick.. of being such a pain in the butt to you guys.. i hope things get better for all of us i really do.. and yes feel good know i have typed it all out.. thanks for listening

[smylie]

dudette!!!!!!!! that is full on!!!!!!
it is so hard when it comes to money... there is no easy answer
could john take a break for a year or so and then go back to the big money away from home when the kids are older??

and jemima had to learn to self settle about 7 months ago when i could no longer take cuddling her to sleep.... she does wait til the ad break - kinda - but the point is i get so so so so so so frustrated , stupidly so..... but yes i am starting to realise how normal it is and that the unrealistic expectations i put on myself and stuff is just that UNREALISTIC so i am feeling heaps better about the stuff i am getting done and therefore getting more done.... so feeling great
today was a really good day - yesterday morning not so good but today rocked

amy - how often does john come home??? it is so good that no matter what you are there for him, it must be so hard for them when one of their mates takes their own life, they would live so closely it would be like losing a family member....

[amouse]

Yeah i think thats why i got so emotional.. on top of everything else hi losing someone one he is so alone is awful.. as for how often he goes away he started this job in febuary .. and he works 4 weeks comes home for a week and then works 4 week again.. the one week off. so i have seen my hubby for a toatl of 5 weeks in the last 6 months.. Im alone.. and when he is home it takes him 3 days to get used to being with poeple again.. without getting to edgy.. ( he is alone in a room the size of a bathroom drinking alone from 4 pm til bed most nights the odd night he goes out and gets drunk instead.. he has his laptop that the connectio has been crap and he can harldy use right now and beer and movies that is it..) then we have 2 good days and the last 2 days he is anxious about getting back to work.. and then he leaves.. again.. so we get a total of 2 good days with him... a month..
last visit he was miserable the whole visit.. but all he can see is the $$$

I want me life back.. i want my hubby in bed with me.. i want to no longer se alone and lonely .. i want Cameron school work to go back up to how well he was doing before daddy left.. i wont the sparkle to be back in his eye becuase he is happy.. Cameron now has this sad withdrawn puppy dog face most of the time.. we are not happy.. isnt that enough for him to come home?.. arrgh

[LittleKiwi]

Gosh Amy it sounds like you're going through a pretty rough time at the moment. I hope that you can work everything out and that John can come home for the kids birthdays. Hang in there mate

Kel you're sounding a bit brighter mate. Keep plugging away and don't feel bad for knowing that you need your own time and space.

I had a ***** of a weekend. Parked illegally on Saturday afternoon for a whole 3 minutes (literally, walked across the street, picked something up from a shop, walked back) and had to pay some scumbag $80 not to clamp my car That was the majority of the money I had set aside to go visit my sister in Wellington next weekend so I was really upset. Went home and cried and cried. Felt so sorry for myself that I had fish n chips for dinner and then felt fat and sick for doing that

Last night I went to do my laundry and locked myself out of my house. Had to knock on doors till I found someone with a phone so I could ring mum to bring me my spare key. I'd just come from her house having eaten a stodgy roast meal that would have put me way over my daily points allowance

Whacked my elbow really hard on the wall while I waited. My tv is on the blink, keeps going really loud and I have to thump it to get it working right again so I expect it’s going to go kaput soon. This morning I had to go to family planning for a smear and apparently my cervix was hiding so they had to bring in a search party to find the damn thing.

Gah!

I’m glad it’s Monday and I’m (hopefully) safe at work now.

So between dinner with work on Friday night, fish n chips on Saturday night and roast dinner at mum's last night I had a spectacularly unsuccessful weekend in terms of my diet.

I did go to the gym on Sunday and weighed in down 1.8kg at 84.9kg but that was on an empty stomach and it'll take a lot to make that stick until next week's weigh in given the crap I ate over the past few days.

Goals for today: 1) Stick to my points. 2) Do weights and aerobics class at the gym tonight.

[PerthChick]

Amy is there some way you can sit John down and tell him that money is nothing compared to what it's costing you and the kids? Every time he goes away it's just going to get worse, and you deserve much better than that.

Julia your weekend was SO bad it was almost funny. The main reason I say that is it sounds a lot like mine - my washing machine spectacularly died (it's only 18 months old) - in the middle of a load. So I think I ate the equivalent of a load of washing in junk .

Now there are no excuses - I either want to lose this weight or I don't. So it's right back on plan today and I'm going to start tracking calories and write everything down. The one good thing I did on the weekend was cook up a big healthy concoction and freeze it, so I have no excuses there… I have something healthy to eat when I come home from work all week.

I'll weigh in tomorrow and hopefully be in the right mindset to keep losing weight by then.

[amouse]

LMao.. omg it was the weekend of spectacular crapola.. huh.. ani your machine should still be under warrenty most machine have a 2 year.. my last one died .. at 26 months.. i was screwed lol but 18 your good to go..

Julia im sorry but it kinda is funny i agree with ani.. its the sort of thing i would do.. the parking meter wasnt funny but the keys.. OMG i cant tell you how many times me and the kids have sat on the front step waiting for my knight in shining armour to eith iopen of breakin to my house.. lol .. John will climb through the roof man hole if we did it together.. I have had the neighbours son .. slighty open our sliding door ( about and inch).. it had a bad lock.. and get a fishing rod and fish my keys off the bench.. lol thenof course ive locked then in the car and had to ring the raa.. my hubby says i should wear then round my neck so i dont loose them.. im hopeless.

as for me.. im ok.. just had to have cry after a super crap day.. its actually th first time i have cryed since he started this in feb .. so it was just the combination of spectacular crap.. im actully feeling good this morning.. becuase im down 800grams from friday despite my crap attack last night ..

[PerthChick]

Hey Amy - I just checked and my washing machine is TWO years and ONE week old!

[amouse]

Sh*t.......

[LittleKiwi]

Oh Ani that sucks! Murphy's Law eh. I agree, my weekend was so awful all you can do is laugh really. Being told that my cervix was hiding just topped it off really!

Onwards and upwards

[smylie]

holy dooly what a weekend for everyone
i have totally wasted today
i had such plans but didnt get out of bed til 11 then have stuffed around between the computer and the tv for the whole day
i just had a shower and have to go to tupperware tonight to pick up my order otherwise i would not bother going - i have it sussed out now though i am going to pay the eleven dollar delivery fee and get next weeks order delivered to me and take benji and jem out to a steak night somewhere with some other people NOT tupperware related.

there is a family of mice in my house/study/laundry/kitchen/livingroom and i am not happy jan! one of them had the nerve to run over my foot when i was washing up last night so i am so totally ready to catch it in my hands and ring its neck
every so often we catch one in a trap but other than that they just run around annoying us

anyway i best go and try and get something done before i have to leave - jemima is at daycare so i have no excuses at all

oh and it seems i binge eat a lot - i am hating finding out the terms for the things i thought was 'normal' if i had to write down what i have eaten today it would be embarrsing and weird

amy - what are you going to do? is there any way you can move closer to where john works so he can come home more?

ani - i can not believe you are one week out of warranty!
julia - sorry but i had to laugh at your weekend too - everything that can go wrong does and after the first couple you are not phased by it at all you are expecting it?? i know exactly how you feel! (my car got run into i sprained both ankles and i got sick in the same couple of days) (etc)

[amouse]

No if they dont change ther mind John will come home and work in roxby which is only 1 hour flight away ( as apposed to 9 hours)and 3 weeks on 1 week off .. he is in east arnham land in a tiny town called Nhulumbuy ther are no road oing in or out the only way to get there is fly or boat .. so not a place i would take my kids too even for a visit.. not with leahs allergies no way ..

Kel.. as much as you dont like it maybe you could write down what you eat in the day.. do add it up or anythig just write it down.. then you can see where you are going with it.. what do you think? it might help you.. get over the binging thing.. im like you a binger and i have to find myself something insteda of.. i cant just say im not gonna do it i need a replacement.. for me its usually cleaning, reading watching tv or getting on the net.. anything to get me away from the kitchen.. also only keep you food in the kitchen.. dont leave anything anywhere else.. its all just an excuse to binge.. . I hope you kind find your funky weightloss happy place again..

[smylie]

fingers crossed he does get the job in the closer town with the better shifts!! my dad worked away and shift work when i was younger and with everything going on right now i have been trying to remember how i was brought up... but i honestly cant remember him being home...

yes i want to get back to my funky happy weightloss place! i maybe will start going to the gym after jemima goes to bed, maybe, as it is too cold to go outside onto my cross trainer, i will find a gym buddy and just do it! (my old gym buddy joined another gym closer to her house )
and i will get stuck into the belly dancing classes with my neighbour
and i will take my baby on a walk once a day
and i will drink more water
and stop buying chocolate when i know i will eat it inappropriantly - jemima doesnt like it anyway so i am only buying it for me - benji has some as a treat but i eat it all throughout the day - i need healthy snack options or have to learn to have none
getting out of the kitchen wont help coz i go back in anyway if i tell myself i want/need to eat something lets see if i can remember what i ate today....
got up, went into kitchen, ate a choc chip cookie back in bed, got up got a pepsi i think and a cheese stick sat in front of computer, went back to kitchen got 1/3 pack twisties (benji's stash i already raided the other day) and went back to bed with the paper, then read some of my book (that was good of me - trying to relax) went back to computer with another cheese stick, whilst in the kitchen ate a mint slice biscuit and got half a block of choc sat back at computer, then it is lunch time so while cooking my lunch i am eating snakes then i cooked some potato wedges and some rice and some chicken tenders, drowned them in soy sauce and had a pepsi max and watched the rest of that weird movie with robin williams in it when he worked in a photo shop and then watched all saints until the mail man came about 3pm coz i had to go and take a photo of him with my neighbours new mailbox, and then came back in side and had a shower and i think i posted on here and then i tried to do some tupperware stuff on line and then i wasted more time and MONEY on ebay and then i went to try and accomplish something and ate more snakes and chocolate and then i got some water out of the fridge and started to washup and then i wanted to get dinner ready but we have no meat so i went and got jemima from daycare (brought my water with me) and went to the shop to get meat ($80 later) came home and benji was watching a tv thing on frozen pizza so we decided to have frozen pizza and frenchstick covered in butter and crisped up in the oven instead and apple crumble and light whipped cream i had bought from the shop - i was meant to go to meeting but couldnt be bothered
today was a cant be bothered day, i get annoyed at myself for those days
tomorrow i am going to town to meet mum for lunch with jemima and then i HAVE to go to tupperware to get my order!! and i dont think i will eat anything else today so i will brush my teeth so i dont
or i would
maybe
i dont eat coz i am hungry