Hi everybody! I'm Selina, wife to Bryan for 12 years and mother of 3, 7yrs, 3 yrs, and 4 months old. (Feels so funny writing all this when I feel like I know most of you already but I do know there are always many new people so just want to say hello to everyone the right way.
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I very much enjoy these challenges and am so grateful to be in this one! I am a person who KNOWS beyond a shadow of any doubt that I know how to lose weight. I've done it sooo many times. The problem for me is that every time I get under 200 lbs. I get all weirded out and am not truly comfortable until I'm back over 200. I'm still figuring out the reasons for that. So far I have read enough from people to believe some has to do with unwanted attention, some has to do with how other women change behaviors and usually not for the better once you are smaller and by growing up heavy I never had to deal with that "skeeviness" someone wrote on here in the support forum (what is skeeviness?).
They said -We 'fat' friends were never a threat to people so we were welcome everywhere and at any time with anyone. Once we become 'normal' and look amazing (as we all do after working out so hard for a year to lose weight.
) that these same people begin to question everything we all are to each other. (Not all my friends or ppl I know are like that. The ones who are great, are always great, thru fat and thin. So glad to have them.)
I'm not sure I am willing to go there. I mean, come on. Is it always this way for women who are 'normal' size?? If so, then it's sad and I wish there was something that could be done about it. Probably stopping the sale of all magazines with airbrushed ppl on front, and movies where people had hours of makeup and tricks used to create a gorgeous creature that doesn't exist in real life... then, maybe then would women stop acting as if someone who looks a bit better then they do that day is out to get their bf, spouse, buddy, brother and all those in between. Someone wrote on the thread here titled 'unwanted attention' that we could choose to not wear makeup, tight clothes, etc. once we lose weight and we wouldn't get groped?? OMG, is that how we should live? I'm not sure I'm willing to do that either. Why shouldn't I be able to create my own look, the look I've had for 20 years (since about 15 yrs old) and everyone still treat me the same way?? I have to figure all this out. I see the shallow halves of people as I lose. I've done it several times (gained and lost so I have plenty of experience observing them all) and even some of my relatives have done it. The better I look, the more I'm worth??
Well, I don't believe that way and let me tell you. I also can see that people who complain that I am too heavy are also the ones who complain that I'm on my treadmill too much and will hurt my knees and should rest. They are the ones who tell me that Oh this one day, this meal, this week won't matter on your diet. But every single day matters. Those people don't want you to succeed, and they reveled when you were at your worst.
Stay away from them if at all possible. Listen to key words they use. They will hold you back. I've let it happen to me. I'm trying my best to go forward now for my kids' sake. They love exercising so we are going to do it together. They don't know about all these struggles I have. And I have never once told them I want to lose weight. Always that I want to be more healthy. That's it. And until I figure all this out, I will try my best to get near 200 and stay there.
I hope that wasn't too much of a rant. If so, I apologize. Thank you if you read it all. I just saw how long it is.
On a happier note, I am ecstatic about this challenge. My clothes will fit again when it's over and lots of shallow people will want to hang out. Well the clothes part is great, but sad to say my calendar will be full on the days they call. The less of The Shallows I see the better!!!!!!
Let's have a great 2009!!!!!!!
Hugs, Selina
to cook right.
. Does it get easier with time to deal with the heat or is it always the "omg I'm going to die of dehydration" feeling?
