Also for breastfeeding- gel pads. You can put them in the freezer and they work wonders for relief of sore nipples.
If you don't use an unscented laundry detergent, I would get some for babies clothes. (All is what I use but a lot of people use dreft or purex baby)
Get a couple brands of pacifiers if you plan on having them as well- He may only like one brand. Drece wouldn't take the ones the hospital gave us, only Mams.
An exercise ball! It helps with early labor and late preggo aches, and I swear, being held while someone bounces on that ball calms Spencer down EVERY time. And you can use it for post-baby exercise, too! AND it's cheap - under 20 bucks.
It has saved our lives. I know it's not medical/emergency, but when your baby is screaming, it FEELS like an emergency, so having a basic way to deal with it is so important.
The shots went well actually. They had me get far away where she couldn't see me, and two nurses gave her the shots simultaneously. Then I got to "save" her from the big bad nurses - one of which was her grandma! She cried for a second then started angrily "telling" me about what they did. Then she fell asleep. I kept her with me a few hours then had to take her to the sitter so I could get some work done. But she hasn't run a fever and isn't very sore, so all in all I think it went ok.
Along the lines of other things to have, Racrane...
DEFINITELY several different pacifiers if you're gonna use them, like Keller said. And the ball was great too, like Amanda mentioned.
My water broke randomly at home, and I was lucky enough to have some industrial strength, massively large maxi pads there and they were a LIVESAVER. It's the only way I was able to leave the bathroom at all. They also helped a ton with the bleeding after I had Laney.
Another thing that has helped us a lot is the Boppy Newborn Lounger pillow. Gives her a supportive place to sit. It's different from the nurser pillow. Just a tip too, if you get the boppy nursing pillow (even if you don't breastfeed) - they're excellent for relief if you sit on the following a regular delivery! Takes a load of pressure off - especially if you have stitches. I used mine a lot even after I gave up breastfeeding, and she loves her Boppy Lounger now.
Sleep sacks and swaddle blankets. Swaddle blankets are great to help with swaddling if you're like us and can't get it right (though we found Laney hates to be swaddled). She's got a breathable sleep sack now, which alleviates the need to have a blanket on her at all - she kept pulling it up over her face.
I feel like I'm getting depressed. Or having PMS. Not sure which.
But last night I just sat there feeding Laney and rocking her to sleep and crying. I feel like I lost myself. I don't get to do any of the things I used to totally enjoy. I don't get to work out regularly at ALL which sucks and makes me feel horrible. I don't get to read. I don't get to cook like I used to because we're always in a hurry at night. I don't get to do the stupid stuff like play video games or even watch shows I used to watch (I'd DVR and record when I worked out...which doesn't get to happen). Heck I barely even get to go anywhere by myself outside of work.
All I do is work during the day then come home and work at night 'til it's time for bed. I spend my "free time" in the morning before Laney gets up getting me and stuff ready for the day, my "free time" at lunch sometimes working out if I have time and my "free time" in the evening cooking, cleaning up and getting ready for the next day. My husband sometimes tries to help which is nice, but he just doesn't get the fact that I have lost EVERYTHING I used to love and my entire world now revolves around a 14 pound baby 24/7. Don't get me wrong I love her and I wouldn't go back or give her up for anything..I just REALLY need a break. And to work out every day like I used to...I think that lack of activity is really getting to me.
I feel like these feelings are normal, maybe? And I'll get used to it??? Hopefully? right?
Mindi. don't know what to tell you except "this, too shall pass". A new baby takes all your time and then some, it will get better as she gets older. You do have a lot on your plate, can DH do he laundry, the vacuuming and other odd jobs around the house to give you a little break ?
He helps me clean up....it's just the little stuff. I think getting into a regular workout routine again will help a ton. May be months though before that can happen....
Problem is that Laney's room is also my workout room for now. So when she is asleep no working out for me. And I don't have time at night before she goes to bed so it's a rush at lunch or nothing, and some days I just don't feel like going back to work all gross and sweaty. Just sucks.
Mindi, how are you feeling? I know with my "baby blues" (I think it was heading into depression but everybody else says it was normal baby blues), most of my reason was not being able to have time to do things.
Not being able to go to the gym, school, out to dinner would frustrate me and make me want to cry. DF saying something or leaving something on the floor would get to me. What definitely helped me was getting back to the gym on a regular basis and eating right. I've never felt better. DF has been better about helping clean and take care of Drece since seeing me go through it and learning how I felt. Luckily though, he works overnights so I have the option to go work out each day when he's sleeping or taking a nap. As for the tv/dvr- I don't have time anymore either but I try and sneak in a show a day even if i'm eating lunch at the time.
I also have a great family support system around, somebody is always wiling to watch him if we just need a break or want to see a movie and have dinner.
I'm feeling better but I still have moments. I'm trying to cram workouts in at lunch time, which stinks - or makes me stinky and sweaty. But it's the only time I can get them done.
I can't count on DH for any real help because he has a "real job" where he works during the day. I sit at a desk, therefore my work isn't as hard in his mind - and I should be able to easily just come home, take care of the baby, cook, clean and do everything without any issue at all while HE deserves some rest after HIS long day. To him, "taking care of the baby" is plopping her down in her swing or on her lounger pillow. That USED to make her happy, but now she's developed more and has wants and needs to be entertained some until she can entertain herself. So she wants attention and that gets in the way of his TV watching and going out onto the porch for cigarettes and games on the iPad. So she comes back to me.
I need some time away, just me, but I don't see it happening. I'm struggling with this enormous guilt because I'm back at work. I don't see Laney at ALL during the day, and feel like I should be with her in the morning, evening and on weekends as much as possible. I'm supposed to go see a friend on Saturday but I'm probably going to cancel so I don't have to send Laney to a sitter AGAIN.
Love hearing about all the spring/summer babies!!!!!!
Mindi: I think boys live in a bubble... I know for me, my hubby doesn't "see" the issues that are glaring (to me). Like, stinky dishes stacked sky high that I can't load into the dishwasher because (1) they are disgusting and the smell makes me sick! (2) I can't bend over too well. I just gently direct him to do things, or offer to do part of the work if he does part of the work. This may work for you if you haven't tried it. For laundry, I tell hubby I'll load the washer if he switches it to the dryer. Then, if he stuffs it into the hamper, I can fold it while I'm sitting on the couch (playing on facebook LOL). I understand that he needs his decompression time from work, but you need yours too! Whoever coined the term "real job" should be kicked. (my mom uses this phrase constantly... she thinks I'm not looking for the "right jobs" but she doesn't get that no one will hire someone in their last trimester of pregnancy for a FT position) I don't know what the heck a fake job is, because I don't get paid in monopoly money... I may only make 1/5 of what he does, but if I'm keeping the lights on with my paycheck why is my job not a real one?
Racrane, so glad you're excited :-) I feel like I've been pregnant foreverrrrrrrrr.
Had my first baby shower (the one I ended up throwing myself but really my friend Jasmine came and took the reins for me! LOVE her!!!) this past Saturday for my friends here. Next one for my mom's friends (the average guests' age hovering somewhere around 59...) this weekend. Then, traveling for business next week. Bringing copies of my medical chart just in case anything were to happen. Plus pillows to prop my feet while driving or doing training. The next week the sweet older ladies at the church are having a mini shower for me.
Really, I thought I wouldn't like the tons and tons of clothes I'm getting (in favor of things the baby "needs more", like furniture) but people keep donating their things to us or telling us about deals. Changing table/dresser combo for $50? Heck yes!!! Even though we're struggling, I feel really grateful that people are letting me have/utilize-until-baby-is-bigger/utilize-until-their-next-child-is-born their things. The thing I was most worried about after baby stuff was a bed for us. MIL texted me the other day and said "Hey, we found a bed for you!" I asked her how much we owed her and she said it was a housewarming gift and not to worry about it. It was really hard for me not to cry because we have been without a bed for over a month now. We're sleeping on the couches, not able to cuddle, only holding hands... it sucks. Before that we slept on an air mattress we borrowed from my parents, it worked beautifully for 6 months (beside having to GET UP in the morning, that was not fun) but it a got a hole in it last month. Hence the couches.
Did the fetal measurement today... baby is measuring 36 wks (yay!) except for weight and head size... 7 lb, and head size is on par with 39wk5d. Poor little Buddha bellied, big headed baby. Just like dad LOL! BP is starting to climb a little bit, but I don't think that's baby, I think it's the fact that I am standing half the day and the other half I'm in my damn no-air-conditioning car. That and this 90+ degree weather every day is killing me. Crazy summer babies. No more winter sex EVER.
I'm ready to go on maternity leave... working 20+ hours a week in retail is not fun. For those of you all who are on ML or have gone back to work, how did you decide how long to take off? I'm juggling between 6 weeks (standard I suppose) and 6 months. Crazy, considering we are barely making it now... but I would rather cut back and stay home with the baby longer than go back to work and see the baby less...
Biancasimone, for me 6 weeks was plenty. I know when you do your FMLA paperwork you get up to 12 weeks, and I was approved for 12. But I started getting depressed at home a few weeks into my six weeks. I was ready to go back, even though I miss her a TON when she's at the sitter's house.
I'm still having up and down days. My weight crept up for no reason before I got pregnant and it's doing it again now. I'm eating right and working out as much as I can and gaining weight. I just feel like giving up entirely.
Bianca- I don't work but i do attend school full time. I just started my summer classes which i'm doing half online and half in class so i'm home more. But when I had him, I was in all campus classes and had school 5 days a week, 3-7 hours a day. I went back after only two weeks as I couldn't miss anymore. It was hard to leave him at first but I'm glad I did because it helped my ppd go away quicker and not get so bad to begin with. I took online classes this summer to be able to spend more time with him but will be returning to full time on campus in Oct.
Mindi- Glad to hear you're doing a bit better. Men really don't understand a lot of things. Is there anyway that he would help out for an hour a night so you could at least get a workout in? I know it's so little and still frustrating but that would at least help you feel better. How big is baby girl now?
Drece is just over 12 pounds and 24 inches basically. He's on a growth spurt now and eating like every two hours except at night. He thinks it's hilarious anytime I take his diaper off to change him and loves bathtime.
We are so busy (in July, we went to LA once, then came home and had my MIL stay for a week, then my wife's best friend, then had to travel for business last week - he's still getting partial breast milk, so he had to come with me, along with my wife - we drove down to LA and stayed for 4 days, came back up, immediately had a shower 2 hours away to go to...I am BEAT), but I wanted to say hello (and maybe whine a little with...bear with me)
I think I have finally worked through most of my PPD, but it was a tough go of it for a while. It was mostly due to the breastfeeding struggles we had. I really mourned not having a "normal" nursing relationship with my son, I just felt entirely unprepared for that loss. Right now, I'm producing a bit over half of what he needs in a day. I am pumping 7-8 times a day, including once after his middle of the night feeding. We do still sometimes use the Supplemental Nursing System, but he's getting bottles much more frequently now...he won't latch on at all without the SNS, since my flow is just too slow and frustrates him. We worked with 2 lactation consultants, I'm on huge amounts of Fenugreek, plus a drug I have to order from Canada called Domperidone (it's inexpensive in Canada, but super expensive to get here, so my doc gave me a prescription and I order it by mail). I think what frustrated me most was that I did everything "right" in terms of breastfeeding success...I had a non-medicated birth (although research on how that affects supply is a little mixed anyway), got him latched on 5 min after he was born, nursed him on demand, kept him from pacifiers and bottles, ate well, gave birth in a "baby-friendly hospital" with serious lactation support, then worked with a great lactation consultant, pumped constantly, did nothing but nurse for two weeks straight until the pediatrician told us we needed to supplement because he still wasn't gaining, etc.
Unfortunately, I live in an area where formula is considered tantamount to poison by some serious lactation activists, and I've already been lectured...twice...while buying it (once by a woman who told me "I don't mean to judge, but I just feel so bad for babies whose mothers are too lazy to feed them properly". Yeah. Out loud, in the grocery store). I am glad to be giving him some, both to save money and for the health benefits for us both, and I'm trying to be proud of myself for working so hard to get him what he gets, instead of beating myself up that he's not getting it exclusively.
My shoulder is also acting up horribly (I have a broken vertebra and a bulging disc in my neck, it pushes against the nerve that runs down my left arm and shoulder, and also the one that runs up my neck into my head) with all the baby holding, so that's not that great, but I have a great pain doc who works with me on breastfeeding-friendly meds. I am just bummed because it was SO MUCH better when I was pregnant...something about the relaxin hormone. Frustrating being back at square one.
Luckily, despite these struggles, Spencer is a VERY GOOD baby. He's so sweet, only fusses when something is wrong (although he's apparently an early teether, we can feel them busting through already, so that's a common reason to be fussy nowadays), sleeps well, and generally lights our lives up. So I feel very blessed, and the fog of PPD eventually lifted. I'm back in a regular exercise routine for the most part, which is nice and keeps me focused. I'm even starting to not-so-much mind my rounder body, for the time being.
She cried for a second then started angrily "telling" me about what they did. Then she fell asleep. I kept her with me a few hours then had to take her to the sitter so I could get some work done. But she hasn't run a fever and isn't very sore, so all in all I think it went ok.
