Mindi - You have a legal right to 12 weeks per year of FMLA. They can require you to use your sick and vacation time before it goes to unpaid time off, though. Unfortunately, it's entirely up to company policy. I hope things go the way you want them to!
It's not that we can't afford baby stuff... we can't afford one income. My income goes to house and car payments so I have to work unless we want to be homeless @.@ I work full time overnight shift and can't afford the pay cut if I go to days. We would have to find a place that will take care of a baby at night. Unsure how much that would cost. We have no family able to care for a baby nor do we have friends. And honestly I don't believe in pawning my responsibility to friends or family. I want to be a stay at home mom at least till the baby gets old enough for school. That's how I was raised and how my DF was raised. It would be unfair for a child to only see their parents a few hours a day.
And to be honest...I never expected to have children. The idea of being responsible for a human for 18 years freaks me out. I'm hardly responsible for my dogs much less a human. Things are hard right now. My. DF's insurance is changing and taking a much larger chunk from his paycheck. We're saving as much as we can. We're both stressed and upset that things won't line up but we're dealing with it.
I'm afraid to tell my family. I'm keeping it a secret from all of my family until the first ultrasound. And i'm sure i'll only tell those who see me often. (Dad and one cousin) i'm also afraid of how my coworkers will treat me knowing i'm not keeping the baby.
But right now DF is looking for a job that has a income big enough that I can stay home for at least a few months. Then maybe if he gets a day job and i'm able to get my night job back, at least part time, then we can juggle the baby between the two of us.
Fingers crossed for you, Sakai. I have to believe that no matter what happens, it happens for the best. Otherwise, I'd lose my mind.
Today I'm both cranky and hungry. I lifted weights yesterday, and even pre-preg that'd be enough to make me starved the next day. Combine it with the baby and wow, I could eat everything in my house. At least the headache is gone!
Countdown to "the big announcement" on Facebook - less than one week (we're announcing officially on Thanksgiving). Eeee!
We had our first ultrasound today. Baby looks like a gummy bear.
Sakai - So are you thinking about giving baby up for adoption? I hope you can get things figured out on the income front, I know it can be really tough. Being on opposite shifts is a hard but viable option. DH and I have done it and we have several friends that do it. You don't see each other much, but baby only has to go to daycare for a few hours per day.
A good friend of mine posted at the begining of the week on facebook that she's pregnant..she's 4 weeks further than me. Yesterday I finally saw her at work, comming in while I was leaving. I was happy, rushed to give her congrats, but she was so upset because she had cramps the night before and bled that morning. She was going to the doctor later that day and didn't even want to be at work.
Course I felt like a idiot for being the squealy, happy friend rushing up to her.
It's her first pregnacy, (that I know of) but she said that they knew it would be hard for her to carry a baby.
I didn't want to pry and ask why but I assume it's because she's naturally rail skinny (5'6" maybe 115-120 pounds...maybe) And she had a struggle to get weight on before trying for a baby. (but again I didn't ask for details.)
she did say that the blood was that old brown color, and not much of it and I always thought there was nothing to worry about unless it was bright red. But I'm not a doctor so I didn't say anything. She's mostly upset because at her ultrasound the week before they couldn't see a heartbeat but the doctor said the placenta was in the way and that's normal. she's worried she already lost the baby long ago and only now is her body clearing it out.
It's been two days and i haven't heard a word, nothing on facebook or on her wall. I haven't seen her at work, not that I feel comfortable asking "Well what happened?" I worry for her because she'll be so upset and depressed over it, she takes things so hard.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her that everything was fine.
Sakai- I also have my fingers crossed that things workout the way you want. I am also sorry that your friend is going through a scary time. If she does have a loss the best you can do is offer your sympathy, some flowers, a card, an listening ear and your love. As a mother who has had 2 losses this is what is helpful and supportive.
Gale- Congrats on having a gummi bear
Going on Wed morning for our first ultrasound, I am excited and nervous, but staying positive that it is 1 big, strong, healthy baby!
Sakai. if you keep the baby and stay home for awhile you save commuting costs,, baby care, many costs concerned with working. Not trying to talk you into anything but you may be surprised after you have the baby how hard it will be to give the baby up. If prospective parents stopped to think of the anticipated expense the next 18 years, no one would ever have a baby. It all works out, somehow.
Bought some maternity clothes today, including a coat (mine are not buttoning around the belly anymore!) and a few tops. Now I feel like I can go to Thanksgiving dinner wearing something other than my sweats. Cleaned the house, took a bath...ahhh. Tomorrow is Farmer's Market day, plus we are going BACK shopping to hit another really good sale (Old Navy, all sweaters 75% off from 12-5...today was coats, which is how I ended up with my new one). We are really trying to save money, so I'm trying to buy things that will work for maternity either on clearance or with coupons. My 90 dollar, knee-length, lined maternity coat cost me $22, so that was a win.
Well My friend is posting on facebook again, not a word about the baby but she seems to be in her normal mood so I'm guessing everything went fine and she dosn't want to worry anyone by explaining. I think the only reason she told me was because I caught her in the middle of her breakdown.
weight down 2 pounds. I'm happy about that because of the near 10 pound jump up on the scale. now that I can eat like a normal person, my weight should be more stable.
I feel like I'm starting to show because my belly is sticking out a bit more, but it's the part above the belly button so I just look like I'm gaining my weight back. >.< Boo!
Butterflymama - Good luck on the first ultrasound!
I feel out of the loop a little and was trying to read back. I keep getting horrid migraines that last for days. I go to my doctor on the 28th so i'm going to ask him if theres anything he can give me. Sleep, tylenol, heat and cold, doubling up on prenatals, drinking lots of water(which I've always done anyways) but everything he's suggested is just not helping them go away.
I'm also beginning to show now. I'll be in my 17th week tomorrow and my bf has been reminding me all week that my stomach is rounding out.(I still sleep on my stomach, so I keep telling myself it's not gonna happen because I don't want to have to sleep on my side!) I don't have the "announced" belly when I put on clothes and I can still wear my jeans, with the exception of a couple pairs I have to ponytail to button now. I'm trying not to buy maternity clothes. My sister is bigger than me and my boyfriend only wears shirts one size bigger so i've started sharing their shirts now. My boobs have grown 2 sizes and i'm a full DDD now= / And I don't have a bra that fits cup size. Ugh.
I'm trying to save money right now to buy a new car(Reason for not wanting to buy maternity clothes). Mine's a 95 grand am coupe. 2 door, Back seat is way too small. And it needs more work than worth fixing. I bought it in high school in 2007 so it's time to go.
On another note, I registered for my first college classes and start Jan 3. Super exciting!
Sakai- Glad to hear everything with your friend is okay. I also agree with these other ladies that having a baby isn't that expensive if you don't have the baby blues and want to buy everything. I know around here we have 5 baby consignment shops and they have super nice stuff for real cheap. If it even has a stain, most of them won't take it! It all looks brand new. Also, our dhhs has a list of care providers and many of them are in home day-cares that do provide care at night for very reasonable prices for those who don't have state assitance with day-care. Just some things you could check into if you do decide to keep the baby.
Gale- Yay for the gummy bear. First ultrasounds are soo precious and relieving!
Mandalinn- Glad telling the boss went well. Hope the annoucning goes well as well
Butterflymama- Good luck with the ultrasound. Hope all is well. Let us know how it goes!
I feel out of the loop a little and was trying to read back. I keep getting horrid migraines that last for days. I go to my doctor on the 28th so i'm going to ask him if theres anything he can give me. Sleep, tylenol, heat and cold, doubling up on prenatals, drinking lots of water(which I've always done anyways) but everything he's suggested is just not helping them go away.
My midwife recommended magnesium and it seemed to help a bit. Ask your doc if it would be a good idea for you.
I think you were the one who mentioned that before. I did ask my nurse on call when i called to see if they had any other ideas and she said a side effect of a magnesium pill is abdominal cramping and they don't want me to take chances since I miscarried before and while im not a high risk pregnancy, they are taking more precautions since infertility and miscarrying runs in the family.
If she does have a loss the best you can do is offer your sympathy, some flowers, a card, an listening ear and your love. As a mother who has had 2 losses this is what is helpful and supportive.
Truth!!
