I'm getting back in the groove of the healthier lifestyle, I think. What I sometimes struggle with is the monotony of it, for lack of a better description. I have to eat the same things for breakfast and lunch, eat the same snacks, plan everything down to the line. I can't keep myself on track otherwise. Right now that means yogurt and coffee for breakfast, a string cheese snack, grilled chicken with tomato, onion and hot sauce for lunch, pumpkin seeds (weighed into half servings before I leave home and only half a serving coming in with me), then a healthy dinner. I have a freezer full of those healthy meals. I eat a lot of 'bowl' type meals. Chop up the chicken with some veg and spice and sauce, toss it together. Make some pork or chicken in the slow cooker, toss it over rice. Brown some turkey with pepper and onion over rice, etc. I'm trying to cut down carbs - sometimes I do the meat with warm soft corn tortillas, which is the plan for tonight. I have pork roast in the cooker with green salsa and rotel, I'll dice some onion and cilantro and put the whole thing into the warm tortillas. I'll have enough calories to have a glass of wine or scotch, and that will carry me to bedtime without a snack. If I stay in habit. If something shifts and I eat something else or grab a piece of candy then I have a hard time staying on track. So, the monotony I mentioned. Right now I can live with it, but I'm trying hard to come up with things now that I will still enjoy when it wears on me. Positive scale movement helps a lot with that. I was still at 143.6 this morning, even after eating out last night. That was a good way to start the week.
I've been like this. It generally means I'm tired or uninspired. Sounds like you need to work on enlarging your idea of "safe" foods, with maybe a refresher on calories, so that your world of food doesn't shrink down to just a tiny handful of staples. Sounds like you need to leaf through some cookbooks on healthy food for new ideas, new ingredients.
Saef, I know it has been tired and uninspired putting me here before, but this time I think I'm back in this place because I'm afraid. White knuckled terrified. I feel like when I opened up my safe foods window I went over the edge. I need to remember how to introduce in new things without losing my silly mind. I have rediscovered how much I like fresh garlic and ginger this week, that has been nice. And pumpkin seeds were new to me, so that is a plus. I have to get past the fear part and back into the enjoying part.
Shannon, do you feel as if you could try introducing two new "safe" foods each week? Or one? I understand the fear completely, so I'm wondering if something gradual, something you had control over, would be okay.
Or, as I said, going back to calories, and "a calorie is a calorie," might be a way to let in something new. (I don't count calories, myself, but it seems turning the grocery store into a lot of objects with numbers on them would help demystify some of them.)
Whenever I go away on vacation, there's a small window of time in which I feel inspired and limitless, and am willing to change up things. And there's my success on the scale this morning. That's the frame of mind that's directing my posts today.
What I don't want is for you to become so tightly scheduled & bored that you rebel in a binge or balk at exercise like a mule. Then it will all have been counterproductive.
What I don't want is for you to become so tightly scheduled & bored that you rebel in a binge or balk at exercise like a mule. Then it will all have been counterproductive.
This is exactly what I'm afraid of. I've had four weeks of good, but how long before I implode? I guess I should count my blessings that things seem to be working smoothly now, huh? Instead I'm already asking 'is this all that there is' again, which is what got me here.
I'm going to make some quinoa pilaf and freeze it in small portions for lunches at work - that will jazz the midday up, I think. I also just ordered some berbere seasoning I want to try using in my dishes at night if I can figure out how.
I like the idea of introducing two new "safe" foods each week.
On tour, in the vicinity of the "in-laws". My SO's mother died at the beginning of June. We are here, being present, and it's hard in all the usual ways it's hard with these people plus a bit extra. A long lunch almost motionless in a pub did nothing for my lower back. I chose chicken and bacon salad which was vast and not very nice. (We don't do the doggy bag thing here. I can't get my mind round it at all.) I chose it because veg were present but would have been better with fish and chips - and no mushy peas (yuck). I had two glasses of lime cordial.
Another pub tomorrow. My heart sinks. There is a very highly rated fish and chip shop nearby so I may press for us to get a take-out and eat on the beach.
Birchie - I hope you got your picnic to the beach today.
I was at 143.9 this morning, I expected a big swing up from dinner on Sunday and the salty green chili salsa last night. My rings are snug again, but the weight stayed pretty stable.
My dinner last night was fantastic. I put a pork roast in the slow cooker with green chili salsa and a can of rotel, shredded it after it had been cooking for about 8 hours. Diced up some fresh jalapeno, red onion and cilantro and made some fresh pico. Served it with warm soft corn tortillas, pico on the bottom, pork, topped with the jalapeno, onion and cilantro, sprinkled on a little hot sauce. Tasted very light and fresh. Lovely. It makes lunch today seem not so intimidating.
Shannon, you've inspired me to thaw out some pork chops and I'm eyeing a bottle of Trader Joe's green salsa, thinking about some crockpot cooking. I'll probably also throw in some beans.
I'm at the office today and pretty much lost the morning to worrying about the offsite meeting. I'm mentally packing clothes. I feel like I'll be on display so that has raised my anxiety levels about appearance, weight, grooming and clothing. When I get like this, I really overpack and then I'm struggling like an ant carrying an enormous leaf on its back, which is an unpleasant feeling when you're already tense. This could also paradoxically lead to me overeating this week so I've got to watch it.
I wish I could make some sense of my tendency to eat or get "hungry" a lot when I'm most concerned about my weight.
Saef.... Deep breathing....
One thing that bikram yoga has really helped me with is my anxiety. I am calmer most of the time and can use my breathing when needed. You will look great!
I'm experiencing my roller coaster of emotions around the scale. Two days ago my weight was way up and I was super grouchy. Now it's lower and I feel stronger and more powerful. Tomorrow is my anniversary with a planned dinner that will surely spike my weight back up. Which means that Friday I should be a cranky you know what. I'm also invited to a fancy birthday party on Saturday for a one year old! I know that it's being catered by a fancy Italian restaurant so I need to not go hungry and be very careful!
My days off are dwindling. I'm trying to enjoy them while they last. On today's schedule.... Bikram yoga followed by lunch with dd and then a trip to the safe deposit box to hopefully find a birth certificate.
Saef - I think the beans would be a great add with the pork chops and the green salsa.
I'm the same way with the 'hungry' cues. When I'm at my most focused on my weight, I find myself hungry all the time. I think it is because my all of my attention is gathered on calories and food and weight and such, so I notice the hunger more.
Shannon, that crock pot pork dish sounds outstanding.
I've been enjoying my food lately. The creep has started. Will try to control tomorrow and reign myself in for tonight.
Which is hard, as I have country treats calling to me - homemade apricot jam, sweetened sour cherries, short ribs and biscuits and lots of cheese and lastly goshdarn nutella (i didn't make that one, nor the cheese)
headed to work at a kids overnight camp. let's just say, i will be counting on that as 'spa week'- i'm being extremely positive here
The scale rebounded right back to 152.5, exactly where I was before I set off on vacation, taking back the three pounds I'd lost that week. I'd thought that's what happened. I just felt ... large ... looking in the mirrored walls in the gym.
It may be that what used to work, doesn't work anymore, and I am going to have to start counting calories, weighing, measuring. I have never done that. I didn't because of my unfortunate history of eating disorders and my tendency toward compulsive behavior; that made it seem like a bad idea. I may need to rethink that.
It may be that what used to work, doesn't work anymore, and I am going to have to start counting calories, weighing, measuring. I have never done that. I didn't because of my unfortunate history of eating disorders and my tendency toward compulsive behavior; that made it seem like a bad idea. I may need to rethink that.
I didn't realize that you lost all of that weight without counting calories - I too cannot count calories long-term, it makes me begrudge myself everything I eat because of its numeric value. Do you think there is some happy middle ground that you could start with? I don't know much about the WW "points" system, but maybe something similar?
(Also, thank you for mentioning the Island of Misfit Toys. I use that reference way too often even though most people never get it).
I just got back from a 5-day vacation. The first two days were at the Ragnar Trail Relay. It was at a ski resort in the Sierras, so the teams all camped together and ran circuits in a relay. The runs were butt-kickers especially at high altitude. I had to run one leg around midnight, and running through a mountain forest in the dark was surprisingly awesome. The course was marked with tiny lights so you could see the next light twinkling in the distance as you ran (running with a flashlight to see where you were stepping, of course).
The race was filled with 20-something women, many of whom were wearing "running bikinis" (tiny bra tops and tiny booty shorts). Most were lean like whippets with legs for days, and perfect tans. At one point, two of them ran by and all the guys on my team stopped to stare (including my fiancé). One of the guys said something like "jesus, they're hot" and my fiancé said "yeah". I know he didn't mean to hurt my feelings - and yes, empirically these women WERE very hot, I can acknowledge that - but it still brought back every bit of body insecurity that I've ever had. I felt rotten the rest of the day. Isn't that stupid? I know it is. But even now it hurts to remember it.
