I am starting this thread hoping that I am not the only one who has ever done something soooooo embarrassing that you stopped and thought to yourself.....I think I shouldn't be left alone ever!!!

This is my story (and it's true)

Last week I walking the four blocks to my bus stop. I have to cross a major intersection and I stopped to wait for the light to change (which can take forever) I started singing this song in my head that I really like. It's one of those songs that you can't get rid of. ( the song is by Ozzy and Kelly Ozbourne, called "Changes") Anyway there I was standing at the light singing this song in my head 'I'm going through changes....'and without looking I figured the light had changed (stupid me) I started to cross and all of the sudden there's this hugh streetch of tires and honking. The light had not changed yet and a car stopped about a foot from hitting me. It doesn't seem funny at this pont but read on.... I looked at the frightened driver (who's window was open) I said "I am soooooo sorry, I am a dumba$% and thank you for not killing me" I think he said something not very nice but I was in the wrong and don't hold that against him. Shaken up I walked the rest of the way to the bus stop.....Later that day on my way home I got off the subway and my fiance was to pick me up at the "kiss n ride" and getting off the subway I was thinking about telling him what had happened earlier that day and I started to sing the song in my head again....wakling down the stairs from the subway I turned and walked myself to the bus platform and was just about to get on the bus when I remembered that he was picking me up on the other side of the station (even though I had just been thinking how I was going to tell him the story when I got to the car). Now everytime that song gets in my head I stop everything I am doing and say to myself..."where were you going and have you gotten there yet?"

Sometimes I think I need a guide dog to get me places.....

Please let me not be the only one who's done something so silly.

a little scary but funny
I can get very distracted when something is in my head. At least you were on foot and not driving.

I feel sure you can blame that on Ozzie and Kelly, Trixi!! I've got a story I can't blame on anyone but me. This made my DD howl with laughter when I told her, although frankly it was darn scary for me.

I was volunteering at an event at school the other night, sitting in a room at a conference table with a few other women. We were wasting time while we waited for some results we were going to tabulate, just shooting the breeze. Someone brought up the show ER and how much they liked it. I had a (very sharp) pencil in my hand and was just saying "how'd you like that episide where the helicopter falls on the doctor?" when I made a little dropping gesture with my hand, and dropped the pencil on the table at the same time. Well, the darn thing bounced on its eraser back into my hand which was kind of on its way back up from this gesture and I poked myself almost right in my eye with it!

I was really lucky to only end up with a little scratch about 1/2" from my eye, so it freaked me out pretty well. But for some reason whenever I tell this to people, they laugh hysterically.

That's cause it didn't happen to them!!! I feel for you but got to admit I giggled. Just like eveyone I told my mishap to...now whenever my fiance is to pick me up he reminds me not to take the bus cause I might beat him home!

Gee.....I am glad I am not the only one

It seems like every day that I post something stupid that I've done... Here are a couple that come to mind.

This first one happened this fall. I was driving back to work from my lunch break. I work at a nuclear power plant, so I had to stop at the security booth and show my ID. The security guy put up the guard arm, so I proceeded slowly forward. I wasn't even close to being through when he accidentally put it down. I didn't know what to do--I screamed (my window was still down), and accidentally floored it. My tires on my little Sunfire squealed and I nearly tore that guard arm right off with my car. Luckily no damage was done, besides the irreparable to my pride...

The second happened this winter. I was coming down the hill to work and it's kind of a curvy road. It was slick out, but I had just been bragging the day before about how good the Sunfire gets around in the snow and ice. Of course, I slid right into a great big pile of snow... I had to have two guys I work with push me out and I'm still getting heckled for it.

Don't worry, you're not alone!

Oh, and here's another incident--my first day at the Y, I'm on the treadmill, talking to my walking buddy and I trip and nearly fall right off the back! It's a miracle I ever went to the Y again!

LOL! My embarrassing story is about my chronic case of foot-in-mouth disease. I was driving home from work in the middle of summer in the South. It was blazing hot outside & my A/C wasn't working. Stopped on a 2 lane one-way street at a red light behind a Cadillac being driven by an old man. I'm trying to fan myself w/whatever I could find while the car got hotter. Finally, the light turns green but the old man & his Caddy just sit there while traffic from the lane to our right continues to pull out in front of him. I can't get into the "passing lane" because of rush-hour traffic so I'm stuck behind the Caddy. Well, this goes on thru 2 more light changes. By then, I am soaked with sweat & furious so when the light turns green again I blow my horn & make "are you stupid?" gestures to the old man who is by now watching me intently in his rear-view mirror. Light turns red again. I say "screw this!" , take a chance and pull out into the lane beside him deciding that, by golly, when the light turns green this time, I'm going. Suddenly the old man honks his horn & rolls down his window. Sitting beside him at the red light, I realize that he is wearing a Clergyman's collar! He points to the traffic still pulling out in front of us from the right and says "It's a funeral procession, honey."
Talk about feeling like a jackazz-HEE HAW!

I should probably post these under an anonymous username, lol.

I once walked to a food shop several blocks away, and was walking home carrying a heavy bag in each hand. I was wearing a loose fitting casual dress that buttoned all the way down. My hands were down at my sides barely holding onto the heavy bags, and I was counting down the blocks intently as I walked... Just 3 more blocks.. Just 2 more blocks.. I was oblivious to everything else around me. I passed by a man with a large grin on his face, and he said "Nice day for it". I assumed he meant nice day for a walk, and I smiled and went on. It was very warm out, but the breeze floated through my dress and kept me cool. As I approached my doorstep and leaned over to put the bags down, I saw that my dress was unbuttoned from the second button down to my hips. No wonder I was cool. I had provided everyone with a peep show!

I seem to have a lot of "accidentally naked or near naked" stories. There are more, but they just get worse and more stupid

That's a riot, Suzanne! Rest assured that you at least gave someone else a thrill that day!

Kiwi

well this week has just been the week for brain farts. i drove a friend to her hubby's work to visit him on his break. sitting in car. me: oh look that car looks like yours is it the same make and model? silence she just looks at me. heather it is mine. duh!
that same night i thought i called my FIL instead i called friends house from above hubby answers phone. me"who is this?" him who is this back and forth i start getting irate wondering who is answering my fil phone. finally he goes heather it is me amrion. oh i dialed wrong number. tina told me next day after he hung up he just looked at her and said that was heather, she ain't all there is she? lol dumb brain week, it has been like that all week for me.

2Bthinner : i laughed my *** off on your story, could just see the clergy "honey,...." hehehe

Suzanne : the closet exhibitionist.

At a costume party, I was dressed in my father's old airforce dress blues (except, I decided to go with a super short mini skirt) and I'm flirting as the "military spy." I'm standing in a big group of people, being the center of attention with my little, "we hav ways of making you talk" act and my entire skirt spontaneous falls to the floor!!!

OMG... I thought I would die.

Ooohh Me Me I got One!!!

I took the crew (son and daughter) to get their dads' Christmas gifts. We went to Old Navy which is ALWAYS crowded around the holidays. DS' dad is tall and slim, DD's dad is shorter and has an athletic build. They both need an X-large in hooded sweatshirts. DS didn't agree. He thought that since his dad was slimmer, he would need a smaller shirt. I kept trying to explain to him that his dad had longer arms, wider shoulders and would need an X-large. Finally DD (who doesn't know the meaning of talking quiet) got tired of this and responded "Adonis, get the X-large. Mom slept with both of them so she oughtta know what size they wear!"

tiki out of the mouth of babes

2BThinner, you could submit that story to Reader's Digest... I bet you would win money.

Oh, how many hundreds of stupid things have I done... I really don't get embaressed very often. I so embarass my friends a lot. But most of them wouldn't be appropriate here! (for easily offended people)

anyway.. here's a few:
It was my second day at a brand new job and I was supposed to get a bunch of files out of a very large file cabinet and sort them. Well, I had just about every drawer in this file cabinet open and the whole thing tipped over because it had become top heavy. Files were EVERYWHERE. it was horrible... luckily I got to keep the job.

One rainy day as I was walking with my best friend to class in High school I slipped and fell into a mud puddle. there were at least a hundred people hanging out in the quad who saw it.. it was pretty bad. I was covered in mud. My friends and I are the type of people who make fun of eachother every chance we get, but Jon didn't that time. He stiffled his laughter for me that one time. I wore my gym clothes for the rest of that day. this was almost 10 years ago and Jon and I still laugh about it.

My senior year of college was a crazy year, and my friends and I decided we were going to the lake to relax and cool off after our mid-terms were over. We were all out on the boat or floating on wet noodles, drinking beer all day long. At the end of the day, I was climbing back onto the boat from my wet noodle and was a little wobbly from all the beer. My friend Matt came over to help me and snapped my bikini top for fun. But his snap actually broke the clasp on it, and it fell off into the water. So I was left without a top because we couldn't fix it. I ended up borowing Matt's t-shirt for the ride home, but it was white so it didn't help much.

I've done so many embarrassing things it's hard to narrow them down...needless to say, there are always lots of witnesses! One of the worse was when I was in college. My brother, who is one year older than me, and I both lived at home and commuted to the nearby University of Minnesota. We get along great, but have always been somewhat competitive with each other. We both had early classes and were often in competition for the bathroom in the morning. One morning he got in first and took FOREVER. Because of this, I ended up having to rush and looked like something the cat refused to drag in. I was late to my first class and was in a generally rotten mood. Later that day, I was in one of the huge study rooms in the library, and I saw him sitting at one of the tables with his perfectly groomed hair flirting with some little co-ed. My hair looked like, well, like I didn't get enough time in the bathroomthat morning. Not letting by-gones be bygones, I snuck up behind him and messed up his perfect hair. It would have been great only - it wasn't him. I was so embarrassed, I didn't go back to that library the rest of the quarter.