ROFLMAO - hahahah That makes me laugh just reading it. Ican't even type wright

I think I have to share mine. When my now big DD was in grade 1, we lived in Austria, and she was in catholic private school (mainly due to the fact that her Mom was too busy to enroll her in public on time and there was no space left LOL). So here we are two atheists, and she is in Catholic school with 100 years history. After about 1 year they said that she HAS to be baptized as they never presented any certificates to students who do not have any religion. So here I am going to become catholic (we are in Austria after all and I c ould not baptize a child without beeing baptized myself). After 5 sessions on bible study we finally graduated to beeing baptized and I call the priest to pick up our baptize papers. Of course as goof as I am instead of dialing 9-and number as I call from work (employer has about 1000 people working), I forgot 9 in front and ended up in internal number... So here it goes - guy picks up and says:

- Hi (and in Austria Hi is actually translated - God with you - the same you would say if you are very relizgious), Bishop speaking!

Here I am thinking - Gosh, how do I talk to Bishop, it was supposed to be just priest! So I say:
- Your eminence, my name is such and such and I am calling about my baptizing papers which I am supposed to pick up today...

He is getting a bit agitated:
- What papers - is it a joke?

I become more agitated:
- Sorry to bother you, but I and my daughter got baptized and we are supposed to pick up papers today, and Father such and such said...

He finally schreams at me:
- If it is a joke - it is a very silly one!
And hangs up...

When I was dialing number again I realized I forgot to dial 9 in front of the number and ended up beeing connected to fellow coworker with family name Bishop...

I think -

When I was 7 years old I attended an Italian Catholic School on Saturday mornings. My friends and I were waiting in the nearby Catholic Church for our ride home as it was raining. Being a protestant and a kid I was wandering about the church fascinated.

When I got home I excitedly told my mum about being inside the church and all the neat stuff and that the priest came over and talked to us. My mum asked if the priest had blessed my and I quite innocently told her "No, I didn't sneeze"....It took her a few seconds to figure that one out Not embarrassing but it was funny

Other church related item....When I was about 6 years old I embarrassed my mum by getting into a big argument with the Sunday school teacher over whether the cartoon Jesus in the story we were reading was really Jesus if no one had seen him and no one alive could prove that was what he really looked like Mum was mortified and I'm suprised they let me stay in the class after that

I have two of them. My eldest brother and my second eldest brother got into a HUGE argument in Sunday school. B2 was convinced that our Mom was a virgin and B1 was trying to explain that she wasn't. B2 said "Yes she is a virgin, cause she was born in August!"

Second one - my son got hit in the head with a shovel during Hannukah and I took him to the closest hospital - Sinai. As we were leaving my daughter (3 yrs old at the time) ran up to a Menorrah (sp?), yelled Happy Birthday and blew out the candles!

Tiki.

I cant believe I'm sharing this.. Well years ago, when I was alot smaller, I was trying to dance sexy for my ex-boyfriend.. well I'm trying to throw in some stripper moves and holding on to the counter for support, but when I tryed to squat down and lean backwards, my hands must have gotten sweaty and I lost grip and fell backwards spread eagle on the floor right infront of him .. needless to say it ruined the moment and I never danced for him again.. ha ha.. it was the funniest thing.. I can laugh about it now.. just imagining what he saw.. and then hearing the "plop" as I hit the ground.. real smooth huh??

Another one from early days. My DD who is about 4 and I were taking a train daily in Vienna. Often we would return home late and would see some weird people on the train - like poeple taking drugs or people drunk, etc. She often would comment on them right there, so I taught her a lesson that we do not discuss people in front of them, if she has any questions, she should ask me later. SUre enough, next day a we have prostitute sitting right across from us - she is visible under-dressed and has just way too much makeup. Plus she is definitely on drugs as she smiles to everybody. All of a sudden, my daughter announces loudly for the whole train:
- Mom, we will discuss this lady later, OK?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And just how red did your face turn?


Tiki

I just had a fun experience recently at the gym. At my gym they have these nice little personal tv/cd players at each bike, treadmill etc. So Im on the treadmill, walking pretty fast, watching Malcom in the Middle. All of a sudden something hilarious happens and I just start cracking up! I mean laughing hysterically and I trip and almost bust my butt on this thing! I mean it takes me like 10 seconds to really get my balance back and Im just sitting there stumbling, laughing, and trying not to get too far away from the tv so the ear buds of my headphones dont get violently ripped from my ears. Finally I straighten back up and look over and theres this guy (gorgeous, muscular, very very cute.......of course) and hes mid stretch just paused and staring at me. He says "you ok?" and gives me this look like "you idiot." I just smile and kinda whisper "yeah..........funny show" and gesture lamely towards the tv. Needless to say the workout abruptly ended and I had to hide out in the locker room until my face returned back to the normal color. But hey, at least I didnt fall off!!! It could have been worse!

OK first what does FIL, BIL, DH, DD etc. mean... i read all these posts and am totally lost as to who you guys are talking about

Mine...
I lived in CO w/ my aunt the summer between my 4th and 5th grade year. I was there for one day and my aunt wanted me to start chores. We rounded up the cows and she was leading them into the barn. I was walking at the back of the pack. All the sudden the cow infront of me lifts its tail and pees... all over me. followed immediatly by some poo. Well needless to say i was pretty well covered. I ran to the house screaming and crying like a little baby. My mom and dad and uncle were up in the house. When I got there they were all laughing hysterically. I was mortified and screamed at them and ran crying to my room. I laugh at it now but at that point it was the most embarrassing horrible thing that could have ever happend to me

MIL-Mother In Law
FIL-Father IN Law
BIL-Brother In Law
SIL-Sister In Law
OP-On Plan
DH-Darling Husband/Dear Husband, etc.
DD-" Daughter
DS- " Son
TOM-Time of the Month

Hope that helped!

lol yes lots

Wow...where do I start??
Well lets see...one labor day we were having a huge bbq...I went to bring a potato salad out on the patio...doh....it would have helped to open the sliding glass door!!
I was at work...in OR... we were a small OR, so even though I was the OR manager we all pitched in to clean...weeelllll....I had helped mop the floor. I mean I helped do it...so knew it was wet...
I went into my office to do paperwork...had to ask one of the other nurses a question so go walking into the workroom and slide/fall/bang into everything on my way down to the floor...where I ended up doing the splits...now the last time I did the splits was about 30 years prior to this...so I had to have HELP getting up...talk about embarrassing!!
Or maybe it was the time I locked my keys in the car...they were in plain site, right on the seat...I call AAA, they come and open up the car door and doh (again!), they are my work keys...my car/house key ring was in my hand!

Ok that is all I will admit to right now...but I have found that when my stress increases...my stupidity does also!

I was at Heathrow Airport early last week, and (obviously) there's lots of extra security and armed police around due to the 7/7 and 7/21 attacks. Now, I've been stopped before (also at Heathrow) with the random "Hello, miss, may I see your boarding card and passport" thing...so it was no big deal to me when this big (handsome) police officer stopped me and said, "Excuse me, miss, do you live in the UK?"

To which I responded, "No, I'm British." Which I'm not.

Yikes.

I can relate:

I work in an office with another person 3 ft from me. Both lines rang at the same time, other person picks up first: "Hello, this is Kristen" I pick up about the same time she gets through her hello and I say "Hello, this is Kristen". I guess just because it was almost at the same time and I said what I had just heard. The other person says, "I'd like to speak to Julia" at which point I think "Should I put them on hold and then pick up and pretend to be a different person with a wacky accent?" But no, instead I bust out laughing and then have to 'fess up to not knowing my own name.

I had just given birth to my son. I was going to have my tubes tied the next day. So I asked the nurse if it was ok if I took of my bra. My breast were really swollen the bra was tight. Well I wake in the recovery room and there's my girls basking under the florescent light I think what the heck ??? Then I turn and there is a 70+ old man staring at them!!! I can bearly speak/move and point at him and say he's looking at me!!! lol Now why didn't that nurse see that from her desk??