Janet - I agree totally with blugirrl1: I'm still giggling too! Just thinking about that boy sitting in the library flirting - when suddenly! Out of nowhere! Somebody snuck up on him from behind, messed up his hair and ran off!!!
That's too funny!!!
Okay...in high school my best friend and I were slim...but we were both "hourglass figures" with a little "junk in the trunk" amongst all the reed thin girls with no shape whatesoever. In our high school there was a physically and mentally handicapped young man there...who was too advanced for the special education classes...so he went along with the rest of us. (I would compare him intelligence-wise to Forrest Gump.) Well...my friend and I were walking down the hallway...and we heard Derek coming down the hall behind us. (He was VERY loud...and talked to EVERYONE he saw.) Well, we were going along to our class talking...and we hear Derek yell "I SEE TWO BIG BUTTS!!!!"
Okay...nothing unusual coming from Derek. We continue to take a few more steps. Then we hear "AND THERE THEY ARE!!!" We turn around naturally...and OF COURSE...Derek is pointing directly at US. We about died. Every guy in the hallway that day about cried with laughter.
OK I've got one. It's early on a Sunday morning last fall, the morning after I attended a college football home game with tailgating and all the trimmings. We go to Wal Mart and I am not totally awake yet and really need to visit the bathroom. As soon as we walk in the store I run to the facilities and go about my business. Soon someone else enters and goes about their business and then I realize I am in the mens room. I put my hand over my face, apologized and RAN out, red-faced and never told anyone.
Oh my, I was teenager and had gone into a local pub with my dad and some friends. He was really making me mad (as parents are wont to do to teens who know everything) and I decided I was storming out of there. Would have been a great exit EXCEPT, I not only stormed into the restroom, but stormed into the MENS restroom at that. I was mortified to face the men in there, and even more humiliated to have to go back out and face all the hysterical laughter. Ugh!
Almost everyone has seen me at one point or another naked. The most embarrasing is I am a bit of a heavy sleeper. At this current juncture in my life my DH, son, and I were living upstairs with my BIL while my FIL refurbished the basement to make an apartment for us while I went to college. I was working nights at a nursing home and my son was about 6-7 months old. Well I had just gotten to sleep, and the baby is making all this noise. I get up to see whats wrong and I see someone in the corner ironing and assuming it my husband I am standing there naked yelling at him for not taking care of the baby. And I fall right back down asleep. Two days later I found out it was my BIL. If I would have thought about it, DH ironing, !
Another one of my husbands friends learned a good lesson about knocking. I am hanging out in the living room watching TV in the buff. He just walks in, we both scream. He started to knock.
The naked thing, I get that from my mother. Who also has been seen naked a few inappropriate times. My dad built her a privacy fence after the contractors next store were checking her out in the bathroom.
My most embarrassing moment was when I worked in a nursing home. I had to give this really nice, old man a bath. The place had a hydrolic tub that you could adjust the depth of the water and he was sitting in an open bottomed, hydrolic chair so you could pump it up to get over and into the tub. Well, I pumped him into the tub and brought the tub up at the same time. The man had had a stroke a few months before and couldn't talk, but he was making these awful sounds. So I am panicing thinking...it the water too cold? hot? etc... then some one comes in and says..."I think you have his balls smashed between the tub and the chair!" Oh my God...I lowered the tub and the man sighed..."AAAGGHHHH". I couldn't look at him again!
I know I do embarrassing things, but I seem to block them out almost immediately. I am, however, famous for the messed-up things that come out of my mouth unexpectedly. Here are some of the winners, that nobody will ever, ever, EVER let go...
Me, wearing new socks with stars on them: "Hey everybody look! I've even got socks on the bottom of my feet!"
Me, literally in the middle of a five-person bear hug: "Oh my god you guys, you're squeezing all the brains in my body into my head!"
Me, after being asked to duplicate some random noise that someone immediately dubbed "that Fiona noise": "What are you talking about? Every noise that comes out of a Fiona is a Fiona noise...."
Me, talking to DH's female friend nicknamed "George": "So, do you LIKE being called George? Cause that's what you go by..." I think everyone in the room did a double-take at that one and then fell off the furniture laughing. I blame THAT one on alcohol, but the rest were just my mind working in its own special way.
My workout buddy and I were trying to find a way to spice up our workouts at the gym, so we learned raquetball recently. We're not very good at it, but we try. Well, she's as clumsy as I am and fell when trying to hit a ball. She managed to get the hit. I was laughing at her clumsiness and running to hit it back when I smacked into the wall, full force, bounced off, and wound up spread eagle, face-first on the floor.
Another one that happened recently...
I was getting ready for work and I was kind of in a hurry. Well, I go to put on my pants and I'm hopping around putting one foot in at a time and I smack head first into the wall and fall on the floor. So much for getting ready quickly.
I have a tendency to fall...a lot. Well, one time I was goofing around at a bar with a friend of mine and the bar is full of people, we're at a table and he points his cell phone antenna at me and quotes a spell from a certain children's book. "Expelliarmus" which is often used in the story to disarm an opponent and knock them on the ground, in the story...we're not dillusional. Well, I pretend to start to fall off the chair and actually do fall off the chair backwards and I land on my head, with my feet sticking up in the air. And everyone in the bar stopped, looked, and laughed out loud.
Last edited by Debelli; 10-20-2004 at 09:33 AM.
Reason: Objectional Material
I work at a call center where we take orders for a lot of different catalog companies. About last Christmas we also started taking orders for sales type companies. Usually at the begining of those calls we ask for a first name so we can call the person by their name which is apparently supposed to be more personal and make them feel at ease. I just couldn't do this though because the entire time I'd worked there we were NEVER supposed to call anyone anything but ma'am or sir. So it just felt rude to do it. A lot of people were having success with their sales though so I thought one day OK, I'm gonna just try it! So I got the call and I said:
"May I have your first name please?"
"Chief", he told me.
Odd name, I thought, but didn't think anything of it because I've had odder names than that and it's most likely a nickname. So throughout the call I Chiefed him to death. CHIEF this and CHIEF that. Here a CHIEF there a CHIEF everywhere a CHIEFCHIEF. How about this CHIEF? Is that right CHIEF You don't say CHIEF!!! He decided to place the order.
"Is Chief the first name on the credit card?" I ask as I start to get his billing information?
There was a moment of silence and then he laughed... "It's KEITH, he said to me. My name is Keith." and then he laughed and laughed and it took forever to get his info because everytime he tried to talk he laughed hysterically. I told him I was soooo sorry and he laughed and told me it was ok. Then he laughed some more, heh.
HE COULDA TOLD ME AT THE BEGINING THAT I'D HEARD HIM WRONG, lol
I haven't called someone by their name since then
Last edited by chaoticfish; 11-11-2004 at 11:52 AM.
and never told anyone.
