I have so many...
I was driving across a Target parking lot and for some reason I just roll into a lamp post (not hard just a little tap--but I saw it "coming" ). So I just bust out at myself and when I look up there's a cop sitting in his car just watching me. I put my car into reverse, drive past the officer with a little wave and go home. Thankfully, he didn't pull me over, he just looked puzzled!!

Another time, when my dad was teaching me how to drive, I was parked in our church lot, just started the car and I slam on the brakes. My dad asks whats the matter and I realize I thought we were going forward but the car beside us was just going in reverse . (Mind you our car is still in park!) Needless to say I didn't drive home.

Lastly, and this should have been the big clue to my motor skills (so to speak), when I was a kid I could NOT, for the life of me, turn a corner on my bike w/o falling off. It's something I got used to--here comes a corner, time to fall!!

There should be a warning at the top of this thread....go to the bathroom first....LMAO & ROFL...

one day my dh and i were at a coffeehouse waiting for his sister when i started coughing uncontrollably. i had bronchitus at the time. this must have upset my stomach, although i did not feel any nausea. all of a sudden, i vomited right there on the sidewalk. we couldn't call my sil on her cell, so i had to just sit there until she arrived. i try to avoid that place these days.

I’m an intruder here, but I had to get in on this one. My husband and I had just moved to a new town and I had been working all day cleaning the new house and washing and polishing everything. I had earned a good bath; soooo I took one washed my hair and put it up in rollers.

My husband decided at this time that he would like some ice cream and began to try to talk me into going to the store for some. At first, I said no, because I had my hair up in rollers and I never went out in public like that. He told me to just put a scarf over the rollers and go on. He said think of it this way. No one in this town knows you, and if they ever see you again, you will be all fixed up and they won’t remember that they ever saw you. This seemed to make sense, so I agreed.

I hadn’t been in the store five minutes, when I heard my name called over the loud speaker. It kept saying my name and for me to please come to the office. I thought isn’t that interesting. Someone working here has the same name as I do. I went on doing my shopping and the announcement kept saying come to the office. Finally, my curiosity got the better of me, and I thought, I would just go over to the office and see the woman who has the same name as mine. Here I go pushing my cart toward the office, there is a whole line of people standing in front of the office, and when they saw me, they busted out laughing. I could feel my face get redder and redder as I walked up to the window. The guy behind the window, who was also laughing asked me. Are you Donna Thompson?
I shook my head yes, and he handed me the phone. I knew who it was so I didn’t say hello to him. “I said what did you say to these people?” He said to me. “I just told the guy who answered the phone, if he saw a little fat red head with rollers in her hair wandering around the store, to ask her to bring home some lunch meat and bread. “I said you are dead meat.” turned and hurried away.

ok here's one of a list of many. i was doing the shopping(with all 3 kids) and the store was really crowded. Well I started to get a belly ache, a really bad one! The girls noticed I was uncomfortable and asked if I was ok, so I told them mommy has a tummy ache. My 4 yo said mommy do you need to fluff or potty? I said both and shushed her. I decided to just finish and get home that I should be ok. Well as we rounded the corner to the next aisle which was very crowded, my stomach wouldn't hold. I get about 3 steps into the aisle and cut one. It wasn't loud but there was a smell, so I decided to try and blame it on my 9yo DD. Honey, you should pardon yourself if you make a fluff. TO which my 4yo DD says in her loudest possible voice...mommy Sissy didn't make that stinky you did, are you going to go potty now? Everyone turned around and laughed their heads off at me. I grabbed the cart went to the checkout and went home. I had DH pick up the rest of the groceries on his way home that evening.

oh had to post this one too. I called Dh at work one day to, you know, let him know I was in the mood. Well the phone is anwered and I am trying to get in the privacy of the bedroom and get the kids to go watch TV so I didn't notice the voice that said hello(I assumed it would be Dh since it's his private line). I begin to describe what I plan to do and have done that evening (if ya'll get my drift) and after about 2 min the voice on the other end says ummm I think you want your husband this is Jon, his boss and he's away from his desk right now, but I'll be happy to tell him to call you, or if you like I can just send him home right now. I was mortified! Needless to say when the boss told DH what happened they both got a good laugh at my expense.

One time I had an underwire bra, towards the end of it's life the wire was poking through the fabric of the bra, so I put a couple stiches in it just to hold it in. One day at work, a young male coworker kept looking at my chest.

Finally I said, "What is so interesting about my chest?"

He looked at me and said, "What is that coming out of your shirt?"

I looked down the the wire from my underwire bra was dancing in the wind between the buttons of my shirt. My face got really red and I walked away listening to the coworker asking my female coworkers "really, what was it?" The ladies were all laughing, trying to explain. He never looked at my chest again.

Sarah

okay, after reading these and snickering and giggling and sharing with the girls at work....here's mine.
Ex husband was a long distance truck driver and when he came home he had to park his truck at the company lot, which was about 3 hours from where we lived so I would go get him. He always had a fantasy of being picked up with me dressed like a hooker. Well, trying to put some spice in the marriage and letting him know that I missed him, I went out of my way trying to find what I thought was the perfect "hooker" clothes, you know, tube top, mini mini skirt, fish net stockings, stilettos and big hair, dark red lipstick. I thought I looked good and trashy and figured it would be harmless, no one would be able to see me driving so they wouldn't know what I had on.

Well, for whatever reason ( I still don't remember to this day) I pulled into a rest area at the side of the road and got out leaving the car running, got out quickly and hurried back to the car. Lo and behold, I locked the door when I got out. There I am standing there in broad daylight looking like a hooker. Of course, this was the days before cell phones and I couldn't see the pay phone that happened to be a little towards the end of the rest area. I'm standing there fretting trying to figure out if it would be worth finding something to bust the window, when this man and little old lady came walking up to me. The man looks at my situation and then says, Why don't you just go knock on one of the truckers doors and see if they have a slimjim you can use, you ought to be used to it anyways.

I tried telling him why I was dressed like that but he wouldn't believe me. His mom said to me, honey, you need to pin a spare key to your bra, then she looked at my top and then said oh maybe you could pin it to your skirt or something. My face was so red by the time I spotted the pay phone. I had to pay for a towing company to come unlock my door and when I got to my ex's workplace, I was in no mood for his excitement when he saw me!

Even though I don't belong I have to share one of my stories since I read and laughed at all y'alls

When I was married to my first husband, I read in cosmo that you should put a nasty note in your husbands lunch and that he'd think about it all day. SOOOO I write an extremely nasty sentence of what I want to do to him when he comes home and I stick it inside the saran wrap of his sandwich.

He then comes home and is LAUGHING so hard that he can't talk and of course I have forgotten the sandwich trick because I did it the day before when making his lunch. Anyway, come to find out, he swapped sandwiches with an old guy at work and the note travelled around all of his co-workers before he found out what happened. I never did go back to his work place after that. It was just too humiliating

Just wanted everyone to know -- you don't have to be a member of this forum to post -- everyone is welcome. In fact, the more, the merrier, literally!

I was driving through the bank about an hour ago to make a deposit. The teller (a young handsome guy, nonetheless) returns the canister to me with my receipt. I went to get the canister and dropped it! It rolled underneath the car. The car was parked too close to the barrier poles so I had to pull up so I could get out. The canister had gone directly to the center underneath my vehicle. I had to lay down on my belly in the bank drive-through lane, with the teller and other customers watching and retrieve the darn thing! To make matters worse my pants were too tight anyway, so I really didn't want to be laying on the asphalt with my back end showing, but I had to do it....

Or did I? I called my sister and she laughed and then said, "why didn't you just pull your car up?"

Hind (no pun intended) sight is 20/20....

Oh dear, that sounds like something I'd do!

That is too funny and something that I would do~!!

Kids are both out tonight and DH has gone to bed. I was just surfin thru 3FC when I came across this thread. Some of the posts had me hysterical! I keep expecting him to get up and come in to ask what the heck I'm doing..LOL

Anyway, thought I'd share also.

In college, a friend asked me to go to the State Fair with her which was a two hour drive away. We decided last minute to go. It was well after dark already when we started out. About 45 minutes into the trip, the bottom just falls out... I mean the hardest downpour of rain EVER! We could barely see. As we're going down the interstate, the windshield wipers just stop. We pull over thinking the rain would slack up. Nope. Just kept getting harder. So here we are, sitting on an interstate in the middle of nowhere at night and nobody else knows where we are. This was way before the cellphone craze. lol. It is obvious that this isnt going away any time soon. Finally, we decide there's only one thing to do. We start back down the highway as I roll down my window, hanging out of it, reaching around to manually move the wipers!!! I dont know how many truck drivers passed by laughing and waving at us. I looked like an idiot I know. I literally had to come back inside every couple minutes to wipe my face with my shirt because I was drowning out there!! Anyway, instead of turning around to head back to college, we went on to the fair, me looking so nice and all...How smart is that? We had just walked up and I hear this guy say to another guy"Hey are they having a wet t-shirt contest here tonight?" I was sooo embarrassed!