Back in high school, I was friends w/ a guy who I had a crush on...I was at his house with some other friends, and we were standing around on a dock. We get to goofing off, and I end up in the lake...ha ha . hee hee..but I had my period. I was 15 and didn't have any back up pads with me...plus, it's not sexy to say " i have my period and you have pushed me in the water...", so we go inside, and I search out the bathroom for a pad ( I cannot use tampons)-- no dice. So, I "make" a pad with toilet paper..fine.
What wasn't fine is that as we were all sitting around talking on the stairs, I had leaked through my shorts onto my friend's white carpet! Of course, it's the hallway everyone must use.
12 yrs later, I still get razzed about it, and I still cannot look his mom in the eye.
Last weekend, I was walking down the stairs to my basement. There is a portion of "house" that juts out. I looked at it and very clearly thought, " I am going to move around that. If I hit my head, it will hurt a lot.", so I avoided it. As I was turning the knob to get inside, I thought, " Now that I am older, I rarely cry from pain. It's usually always emotional', so I check the laundry, turn around and ram myself into a huge pipe. &*$@ did that hurt! Yes, I cried!
I've done a lot of wierd things, like "crashing" a parade with my car and some friends. We just ended up on a parade route with out realizing it, so we went with it. We were behind some foreign exchange kids who helped us out..that wasn't embarassing because we entered into it on our own accord.
Last night, I had just finished jujitsu class. Class involved some pain, because I was practicing joint locks. I had some red marks around my wrist. It was kind of late when class ended, but I was high on endorphins. Since I had so much energy, I decided to go to the grocery store.
Picture this: A woman walks into the grocery store. She has several tattoos. She is wearing all black. On her forearms, there are several red blotches. She is walking around with a somewhat loopy expression, and she looks a little high. Plus, she is covered in sweat, and she smells awful.
When I was first learning to drive(I think it was my first lesson) my dad parkied in a small parking lot off of a side street. I protested that I was not ready to pull out froma driveway, but he insisted that I do it. I get in, back out of the space and get to the end of the driveway looked for cars made the turn and forgot to unturn the wheel after I was done making the turn. Long story short I ended up back in the parking lot having run over mainly grass, but I did go squarely over a no parking sign. To this day my dad and brother(who was in the car) tease me about "killing a no parking sign"
One night I was sitting at home with the rest of my family. My youngest brother (1.5 or 2at the time)was playing with a toy drill. He kept going between the play workshop and the table next to me pretending to drill the table. In the middle of a sentance he comes up to me and starts drilling on my leg and I couldn't finish what I was talking about so I said "peter go over there and screw the table" My whole family just stops and looks at me. then of course I realize the way it sounded and started laughing too. But I will never live those two things down.
Have to respond:
Jess: Thought I would die laughing--doesn't get much funnier than that!!
Tiki--out of the mouths of babes right!! by the way where are you from. You sound like a very fun person to know.
Idealperson--It's all about pt care. I work in the hospital and my biggest fear is that I am going to pull a catheter out. I am an xray tech and have to wheel in a portable and the bag is always on the side i am on. Anyway very funny!!
Okay so now I will share one or two!!
My kids are a constant source of amusement.
We are shopping at walmart, i am checking out and my dd says she need to go to the bathroom. She comes and back and loudly proclaims "I was going to wash my hands but i couldn't because they have started charging for papertowels!!" I am thinking what are you talking about and I say "are you sure?" She says again not in her inside voice " Yep there is a big "thingy" and it says "Napkins 25cents". The cashier is laughing her a off and I am standing there thinking what?? It finally sinks in as my son says "I am going to see what she is talking about" feminine hygiene
I frequently tell my son when he asks for an outrageous or extravagant item that we don't have the money for that. So I am shopping for jeans for him and we get to the check out counter and he says loudly in front of the cashier "I thought you didn't have any money in you check book!!" I know that I did this to my mother I guess the I don't have the money excuse is not working anymore just say no right!!
Last note: Thread started by trixi love your name, is there a story behind it??
trixie-o
I have a "duh" moment to add... but it wasn't public humiliation, more of a small private face-reddening.
I was 26 when I bought my first bottle of vitamin supplement pills. I hadn't taken vitamins since I was a child, and I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to do. I was standing in my kitchen, looking all over the bottle for directions and getting more and more frustrated at myself for not being able to see any. My friend who was over at my place came into the kitchen and asked what I was doing. I said with exasperation "I can't figure out the damn DOSAGE on these!!" My friend, without hesitation, responded "Laura...the brand name is "One-A-Day"...." DOH!
My mom was on her second husband, who had two kids. The boy had a cat and the girl had a dog. I was the baby and I wanted a pet too. I was 7. Finally, I wore my mom down and she said this weekend we would go get me a new pet. I'm all excited the whole way in the car and don't even notice when we pull into a lawn and garden store. My new pet??? A cement pelican to stand by the pool! Not too embarassing, right? Flash forward to my annual end-of-school party when I'm 15. All my friends are there and my mom walks out and says "When was the last time you watered your pelican?" Then she proceeds to tell all my friends the story and about how she makes me "feed" the darn thing with water and give it baths. I was mortified! Although it's pretty funny now.
almost at the same time and I said what I had just heard. The other person says, "I'd like to speak to Julia" at which point I think "Should I put them on hold and then pick up and pretend to be a different person with a wacky accent?" But no, instead I bust out laughing and then have to 'fess up to not knowing my own name.
LOL I did the SAME thing one time at work. My desk was facing another woman and I started to say something when my phone rang. I picked it up and said "This is Sandy." LOL of COURSE the call was for Sandy!!!
At this same company... Consolidated Freightways... I was helping on the main switchboard and my co-worker and I were talking about strawberries. I grabbed up a line and said "Consolidated Strawberries." My co-worker was in hysterical laughter and I was trying to hold it together... fortunately the caller apparently never realized what I had said!!
One day another operator answered the phone and the guy said "This is Sonny Burbank." Forgetting that Sonny Burbank was the name of one the company bigwigs in the head office in California, she thought the guy was joking around so she said, "Well, THIS is foggy rainy northwest Portland!" Fortunately the guy had a great sense of humor!
I usually look to my mom for embarrassment. Like when she was in a dress running for the elevator at work and slipped on the floor, landed on her bottom and her legs spread wide, facing the elevator...which was full of men.
Or when she was admiring the new car she'd bought after we'd all gone inside and we sent my daughter out to check on her when she never came in. Daughter came back yelling "mamaw fell outta the car!" She got her high heel stuck in the door pocket (this was when they'd first started putting those in cars), and scraped up both her knees in the driveway.
Or when she was coming into the kitchen and stepped over the baby gate and lost her balance. Everyone jumps from the couch and she catches her balance...so we sit back down. She lifts her leg over the gate again and loses her balance. We jump up, she catches her balance, we sit. Round three...she lifts, loses balance, we jump....too late...SPLAT!
About the worst thing I think for me was when I went out to start my car one morning. It wouldn't run unless I warmed it up 10 minutes. And the emergency brake was out...standard. So I put a cinderblock behind the tire when I left it to warm up. Well...my block was gone. Fracking thieves. Anyway, the driveway was level, so I started it, and it sat fine, I went back in and stood in the door watching it. It was freeeeeeezing out. My daughter asked me something, I turned to speak to her, turned back...car's gone. You should've seen me running down the heel in high heels chasing it...like I was really gonna catch it before it ran through Mike's bathroom.
Ooooh, a good company SNAFU. I used to work for a local Society of CPAs. Our office once sent out 2000 brochures. I don't know if it's a good thing, or goes to show how many people truly don't read what they receive, that only one of the 2000 members noticed this and called us. It said "Society of Certified Pubic Accountants".
One of my friends had her toddler son in a department store with her and they were in the section that sold bathroom fixtures. Something caught her attention for a moment and when she looked back around there sat her son with his pants down on one of the display toilets. Too late.. he had done a big jobbie right there in the toilet! She grabbed him up, jerked up his pants and took off... the kid is an adult now and I don't think she has STILL ever been back in that store!
but no your not alone
