I seem to be quite a bit younger than most of the posters in this thread, but maybe I missed some people.
I'm 23 years old and live in Concord, NC where I bought my own house last year. I work in Charlotte which is a great city (except for the traffic) and has a lot to offer a single gal like myself, but my weight and low self esteem has kept me from going out and enjoying life.
I have no pets, I had a cat for awhile, but I let my old roommate take her when she moved out. I was tired of the cat tearing up my house. LOL
I'm very, very, VERY single... I haven't had a "serious" relationship since I was in high school. I know that I'm not going to meet someone while I'm sitting at home reading or on the computer, but I don't feel like going out and getting ignored by all the men out there becaue I'm not a size 8. It is a vicious cycle that I know is not healthy, but I can't get myself out of that habit.
I have 63.5 pounds to lose to get down to my goal weight of 135. I'm 5'3" and 135 is my first goal. If I can reach that I will then decide if I want to keep going for another 10-15 pounds.
hi everyone! i would like to join your group. i have been to this site on and off for quite a few years but i never really felt right because everyone talked so much about spouses, kids, etc. which i have neither of.
i am almost 39 and have my own house in corning, ny. i live with my best friend (a dog) of 11 years, named molly. i have had her since she was a pup and has been thru thick and thin with me. i am not in any relationship right now. i don't have the self esteem to even try after a bad break up with "the one" last fall. i need to lose about 60 or so lbs and have been trying for what seems a lifetime. i have been on the rollercoaster so long, i don't know if i am going up the hill or down. it all seems the same anymore. i work 2 jobs so i don't go stir crazy from loneliness. that was my solution to my break up to keep my mind busy. i go out once in a while but i'm tired of the bar scene and really miss doing the things i enjoy (camping, movies, etc) because i have no one to do it with as my friends are married and have families.
well, i don't want to spill all my secrets at once and i do have to get ready for work. my full time job is second shift so i don't usually get on the computer till after work. i get really bored after work because i am so awake and nothing to do at midnite except eat of course, so i thought making new friends (in the same boat) will help. thanks for listening and i look forward to chatting with everyone!
kathy
I seem to be quite a bit younger than most of the posters in this thread, but maybe I missed some people.
Well, I seem to be quite a bit older than the average poster on 3FC so we'll call it even. I think it's great to have a sharing of information with all kinds (and ages) of people. We can always learn from others, regardless of age.
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I know that I'm not going to meet someone while I'm sitting at home reading or on the computer, but I don't feel like going out and getting ignored by all the men out there becaue I'm not a size 8.
I hear ya, sister! I am a homebody, too. Part of that is because I adore (and require) a good bit of alone time, but part of it is because of what you said. As I've said above, I'm older and wiser and tired of the B.S. so I'd really rather stay home (or hang with friends) than deal with the trauma of meeting and dating new guys. As much as I'd love to have a quality "someone" in my life, I feel like it's just not worth the frustration sometimes (of getting out there to find someone, much less a quality someone!).
shyangel,
The way i went from feeling crappy about myself to feeling good was realizing that it was a necessity for me in order to have a normal life. My (now ex) boyfriend at the time was seriously bothered by my self esteem issues and attributed it greatly to the problems in our relationship. So something dawned on me in that other aspects of my life (work and social life) could also be negatively impacted by low self esteem. I made a concious effort to change and at first, I did something corny. I looked at myself in the mirror and said "you are beautiful, you are smart and you are deserve to have a fulfilling life". I haven't done that for a while but whenever I start thinking negative thoughts about myself, I stop them then I tell myself positive things. Losing weight, of course helps your self esteem (or it should) because you are seeing positive changes in your life. Additionally, you should believe that the things you do to lose weight are positive, no matter if the weight loss is slower than you want it to be. I feel good because I know I am exercising and I'm eating well and trying to make positive changes in my life. It is very hard at first and you may not always be perfect but you just have to keep working on it. The important part is never allow yourself to think badly about yourself.
It seems to me that we all have a lot of things and issues in common regardless of our ages. I am so happy to see that so many of us own houses. As single women this doesn't happen all that often. FairyTale - I can't believe you have a house at 23! I think it's great. I just bought my first house and at 34 am a little overwhelmed with the whole thing. I hate to say it, but when you're not that handy like me there is something to be said for having "access" to a man (of course they must be handy themselves).
I think low self esteem is one of the reasons why so many of us don't get out enough. Kathy - I also thought about getting another job to have something to do to fill my time. I hate going home and being alone, partially because I tend to eat too much but mostly because I feel isolated from the rest of the world at home. I hope that maybe you can enjoy getting on this site sometimes when you get home from work and not go eat. I know my computer is on a different floor than my kitchen so if I get on it I don't eat.
Thanks for the advice nelie. It made sense and I'll definitely do my best. Reading your post made me realize that I don't find success and happiness from just being healthier (exercising and watching food). I see it as a means to losing weight and feel frustrated and upset when I then don't lose weight, which just makes me eat more and exercise less. Vicious cycle that I am just not sure how to break. It doesn't help that I don't have anyone in my life right now that gives me external boosts of confidence and makes me feel good about myself. If anything I have the opposite problem - people making me feel like crap about myself.
Sorry for the rant but having major problems in the head this week and just not happy about life in general.
hey everyone! this thread is so me. it feels like everyone feels like i do except you can express yourselves better. maybe with a little practice...
Ang - i definitely feel like i'm in that viscous cycly myself. the job helps me a real lot. i got a job in a small family convenience store and the people that come in are pretty much regulars and i know them now. they are all real friendly and that keeps me connected to people in general. otherwise i would be sitting at home drowning in a sea of sorrow. right now i'm only drowning in a lake. lol!!!!
tomorrow is our company picnic at an amusement park so that should be uplifting. i like to do stuff like that but don't get the chance much so i am looking forward to a good day.
Kathy - could I come to the amusement park? I love doing stuff like that, but like you and many others I don't want to go alone so I don't do too much. I haven't been to an amusement park in two years. There is actually a 6 flags within an hour of me so there is really no excuse. I hope you have a great time. Your job at the store sounds great. Not only is it keeping you busy but the connection with the people sounds like it really adds to the benefit of the job. I'll have to keep that in mind if I seriously start to look for another job. I was thinking that it might be nice to get something for the holiday season to keep busy and to get a little extra money for presents.
I am going on in the city with some friends tomorrow night. It's not really my thing (bar scene) but I figure it is always nice to get out and I will be with a group so it is not like I'm going to pick up men or anything. I'm looking forward to dressing up though. I am always afraid that my clothes will be too tight and I'll look bad or worse, not have anything to wear. I don't fit into everything right now since I gained about 15 pounds in the last year. I also may be going to the beach Sunday. I haven't done that in a couple of years. Talk about trauma - putting on a bathing suit. Wish me luck
hey everyone - how is your weekends going? i actually had really good time at the amusement park. i am paying for it today. my body feels like i ran a triathalon. very stiff. i am not used to so much walking...but it was worth it. i had an unexpected surprise. a temp guy from work came along and i pretty much spent the day with him riding the rides and talking etc... it was a nice change to have a "male" friend and not be 3rd wheel again. it however did bring back a flood of emotions and also the thougt at the end of how i had to go home alone again. but i took the day as it was and just had fun.
ang - that job actually is actually a life saver for me. plus i need the extra $ to pay bills. i tried renting a room when i bought this house last year because it is so big and what a disaster that was. so this year i work the extra job and i am enjoying what free time i have in my home in solitude.
i was wondering what kind of diet plans everyone follows on here if the do follow any??? i am so confused about them all. i also have my mind set to get back to exercising this week. i was going to a gym for a long time but i couldn't afford it anymore and quit at the beginning of summer and have slacked off all exercise since using the excuse that it was too hot. no more excuses for me!!!!
Another work week is here. I think the more fun I have on the weekend the more I hate weekdays - I guess it's better than the alternative of not enjoying the weekend. Kathy - I am so glad you enjoyed your time at the amusement park and what a bonus that you were able to spend time with someone. Feeling like a third wheel sucks, particularly at places where you need to pair up for rides. I hope you were able to hold on to your good feelings about the day, even when you got home. After reading your post I talked to a friend about going to our amusement park. I hope it happens because you reminded me of how much I miss them.
I had a pretty busy weekend and got a surprise call from my bf to see him late Saturday (actually early Sunday morning). It was nice to feel wanted at least in some way. Unfortunately I didn't get much sleep so Sunday was a wasted day (as far as being productive - it was not wasted emotionally since I got to see bf) for the most part. Oh well.
Kathy - I don't follow any eating or exercise plans. I had some success in the past with WW because I need to feel like I am making life choices as opposed to following a 'script' developed for a specific diet. Also, I don't think I am ready to put the dedication into following anything closely so I don't start. I don't want to then have to deal with being a 'failure'. I have done a lot of reading over the years and basically know what I need to do with exercise and eating so I try to make as many good choices as possible. A while ago I almost eliminated things like white rice, pasta and white bread to try and reduce the 'bad' carbs in my diet. For exercising I run, bike, and work in my garden. I try to do something everyday and of course I don't, but I keep trying. This goes back to dedication and the unwillingness to set a schedule and put me first (but that's a different story). What are you thinking of doing for exercise? Do you have any thoughts about what is 'wrong' with your diet or eating habits?
ang- are we the only 2 posting here??? where is everyone??? i guess we'll just have to keep this going. lol!! i'm glad you decided to make plans for the amusement park. it made me feel like a kid again. the feelings are lingering...especially when i woke up yesterday as stiff as a board. lol!
i have tried many, many diet programs. ww seems to work good for me if i can set my mind to it. like i said before, i get home after work, am bored, and then eat, eat , eat. as for exercise, i was going to the gym but quit because of $ issues. too expensive. so now i am walking outside and doing home videos. the only thing i need to do is get on a daily schedule. i have been feeling so low and tired that i haven't done anything regularly. i walked yesterday and i'm going again today. it's a good start.
Well I survived my first weekend back on my diet! Saturday was rough because my older brother, his wife and assorted friends and family were driving through the area on their way to the beach. They stopped by to see my house and we all went to Bob Evans for breakfast... It all looked sooooooo good, but I was better. I ordered two eggs and toast. No greasy breakfast meat, no sausage gravy, no cheese omlettes... *sigh* It all looked so good, but I was proud of my willpower!
The rest of the weekend was pretty easy to get through. I'm used to snacking all through the weekend while I relax so I just ate smaller meals every few hours to get that "snacking" feeling. On Sunday I had cereal and toast for brunch around 11, a small salad around 4, and a bbq sandwich and left-over mashed potatoes around 7. To top off the night I had a Hershey's bar with almonds and I still had a few extra calories at the end of the day.
My stomach is starting to shrink... The first few days back on the diet I was STARVING by the time I got home from work and I had no patience to actually cook, but I still managed to stay on plan.
Hopefully this week I can start back on an excercise program... I know that will help just as much as eating less, but I just haven't found the willpower for that yet. LOL
But as the scales continue to go down (2.5 pounds so far!!!!) I'm sure I'll want to do something to give my metabolism a little boost.
Kathy - I definitely need to do something to make me feel like a kid again. Being an adult is just too stressful. I think you are doing great by walking. I don't belong to a gym either because I just can't justify spending the money. The outdoors are a better playground anyway, at least with the good weather. You say you eat when you're bored, I don't exercise and make bad eating choices when I am upset (like tonight). I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream and now regret it terribly since my stomach is killing me. Have you been feeling low about anything in particular?
IWMFT - congratulations on making tough and good choices this weekend. Eating out and eating with people can make things very tough. Good for you for having such determination and will power. Can you send some my way?
Are you aiming for a certain amount of calories a day? Eating a number of small meals is recommended by a lot of people. I'm glad it is working for you. I am trying to do that, or at least build in two snacks a day (am and pm) so I get hungry less and eat less when I sit down for my 'meals'. So far it really helps to have a protein shake or bar at about 4pm so I don't pig out at dinner (unless I eat with my emotions like tonight and then it doesn't matter if I snack). Keep us updated on how the snacking plan works for you. Congratulations too on losing 2.5 pounds. Do you have an idea of what type of exercise you want to try?
As you may have guessed, no exercise for me tonight. It was all I could to do go to the farm and water some of the plants. I really wanted to just sit at home but I couldn't let the plants suffer, at least not all of them.
Keep up the good work and hopefully we'll hear from some other people soon.
hey there! another work day done. i'm glad that it is over.
iwmft - congrats on the 2.5 lbs gone 4ever!! you made wise decisions at bob evans and enjoyed the good company instead. that is something i need to work on. i need to put the focus on the important stuff. what plan is it you are following??? i decided this week myself to get back into the exercise and so far so good. maybe you can send out "good choice" willpower and i can send out "get moving" willpower.
ang - i agree i would rather be outside than in a sweaty, smelly gym in the summer. also, my dog appreciates it. as far as the ice cream thing, for the last 2 weeks or so i have been eating it by the gallon. this week i cut it out. i think i have been low about nothing and everything. it's hard to pinpoint, but after my weekend i am feeling a little better this week. i need to work on my mindset. ever since this last bad relationship i just haven't been myself. i guess i'm mad at myself for jumping in again and getting burned. it took me almost 2 years to take that plunge again and when i plunged it was off the deep end. i always say time will heal everything, but now that i am getting very close to 40 i am rethinking that saying. well, enough boo-hooing... what drove you to visit ben & jerry???
thanks for listening, it is helping tremendously. it is nice to know there are others out there who understand.
hey there! another work day done. i'm glad that it is over.
iwmft - congrats on the 2.5 lbs gone 4ever!! you made wise decisions at bob evans and enjoyed the good company instead. that is something i need to work on. i need to put the focus on the important stuff. what plan is it you are following??? i decided this week myself to get back into the exercise and so far so good. maybe you can send out "good choice" willpower and i can send out "get moving" willpower.
I'm not following a plan other than restricted calories. I love carbs too much to do much of anything else. But I learn to make smarter choices very quickly on a restricted calorie diet, because 1400-1500 calories doesn't go far if I choose to have a Big Mac for lunch....
on the willpower! I really need to but by the time I get home I'm too tired and hungry to do anything... *sigh* I would get up early, but I don't do mornings well.
I'm 36 years old, 5'9" tall, weight approximately 247 pounds and I wear size 18-20 in clothing.
I'm single as single can get! All of my life, I've wanted to get married and build a life with someone, but it just didn't happen that way. You know the term, "always a bridemaid but never a bride?" Well, that describes me perfectly. Every one of my friends is married and have been for years, which has always made get togethers kind of difficult for me because I'm always the one without a companion.
Now I'm focusing on changing my life for the better and making changes in areas of my life where I need improvement. Before, I would be so depressed and lonely, wondering what was wrong with me and why I could never find someone to really love me. I had so much love inside to share with someone, but I made the mistake of giving that love away to men who didn't deserve it and wanted to use me, and I didn't realize it at the time. All I knew was that I was lonely as **** and in need of some love and attention from a man. The problem was, that they were looking for sex, not love, and had no interest in being honest and building a life with someone.
I thank God everyday that I wised up before I ended up married to a wife beater, a stalker or worse. I came to the realization that I have to love myself FIRST before I can expect someone else to love me. Also, there were areas of my life that I wasn't happy with, such as my weight (I need to lose 75 pounds) and my finances, and how can I expect a man have his stuff together before I get involved with him if I don't have mine together?
So I've decided to lose this weight and get healthy. I'm in the process of remodeling my house and about to buy a new car. I've started working on my finances by cleaning up my credit reports and looking at investments for my money. I'm also looking into poetry readings, art galleries and other activities and attractions that I'm interested in, and I'm going to go NOW, not once I have a "man" to go with me. I want to enjoy my life now, not continue to put it on hold waiting for "Mr Right" to show up and change my life for the better.
It's up to me to change my life and be happy, I can't put that kind of power into someone else's hands.
So for right now, I'm alone but not lonely. My feet are in the blocks and I'm preparing to run this journey to find out who I am and what I want out of my life and to simply enjoy each day as it comes. . . . . .
I think it's great to have a sharing of information with all kinds (and ages) of people. We can always learn from others, regardless of age.
I love doing stuff like that, but like you and many others I don't want to go alone so I don't do too much. I haven't been to an amusement park in two years. There is actually a 6 flags within an hour of me so there is really no excuse. I hope you have a great time. Your job at the store sounds great. Not only is it keeping you busy but the connection with the people sounds like it really adds to the benefit of the job. I'll have to keep that in mind if I seriously start to look for another job. I was thinking that it might be nice to get something for the holiday season to keep busy and to get a little extra money for presents.
I think the more fun I have on the weekend the more I hate weekdays - I guess it's better than the alternative of not enjoying the weekend. Kathy - I am so glad you enjoyed your time at the amusement park and what a bonus that you were able to spend time with someone. Feeling like a third wheel sucks, particularly at places where you need to pair up for rides. I hope you were able to hold on to your good feelings about the day, even when you got home. After reading your post I talked to a friend about going to our amusement park. I hope it happens because you reminded me of how much I miss them.
on the willpower! I really need to 
but by the time I get home I'm too tired and hungry to do anything... *sigh* I would get up early, but I don't do mornings well. 
