I am new to this website...also recently divorced(Feb 04)...also even more recently just had my 5th baby(May 20 04). I was 125lbs before I started having kids and I hit 215 pregnant with this last one and am stuck at 180 now...my goal is to make it to 150. I need all the support I can get.

My ex-husband was very abusive to me and our children both verbally and physically. I was not allowed to have any friends so now I feel all alone. To make matters worse when I filed for a divorce he threatened to kill our children so I called Childrens Protective Srvices and they took them all from me. So now I am divorced, just gave birth and all alone. They will not even let me see the baby because they claim I neglected the older kids by not asking for help sooner. It is a very complicated mess that I got into trying to get out of a dangerous one. Anyway I am just looking for some new friends and hopefully some support.

Is anyone still single out there and need support? I am single and could definitely use all the support I can get. I'm ready to give it to though. I look forward to this thread starting up again.

Hello all, I'm still single, unfortunately, the last single in the known universe and thus unlikely to change my status. I'm sitting here thinking about exercizing...except it's hot outside...and I'm sick...any support/encouragement for me here?! Today is an exceedingly whiny day for me.

Hello,

I'd like to join this thread too. I'm single and have one child (single parents are "singles" too! ) and one dog - no cats! lol, nothing against cats but I am waiting until my little one is old enough to choose the cat we will have.

I am 25 years old and have escaped marriage by the skin of my teeth a couple of times...lol Someday I hope to find the RIGHT partner and make a life with them. I'd like to partner with someone fit and healthy so I feel that I need to BE fit and healthy first. I'm also a Vegetarian in The Land of Beef™ and that certainly cuts the pool!!!

I'm already on the "race to 199" thread so I may have seen some of you there already!

Hi Kamitwi - you are not alone. I am 33 (34 on July 20) and sure that I will be alone forever and that is definitely not what I want. I know there are a lot of excuses out there as I have used most of them, but if you can just pick one little thing to do today I promise you will feel a lot better about yourself. Last night I was extremely tired but pushed myself go to my track workout (my running club ' forces' me to go). It was really difficult but I was so glad that I did. Good exercise and I felt like I had accomplished something. I didn't end the day feeling like a 'loser', which I do so often. Whine away, but I'd love to hear that you were able to get some exercise. Can you go for a walk around the block or even just down the street?

I forgot to mention that I have two cats - Noah and Peanut.

Welcome Elizabeth2! I'd like to find a partner that will actually talk to me. I am in a relationship now that is not going as I would like it but I don't have the courage to get out. He' fit (runs and lifts weight), does that get him points?

I wanted to bring this thread to the top. It would be great to start this thread up again. Let's keep it going!

I'm here trying to stay motivated with my healthy lifestyle quest and the quest to find a good man. I'm turning 34 in a couple of weeks and the clock is ticking. Want to share a little about yourself?

I'm new to this thread. I am in my mid-40s, no children, divorced, one cat. I only married once (over 15 years ago), after one year he filed for divorce; we are still seeing each other (but NOT living together). I have steadily been gaining weight until last year when I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I have been trying to be careful with carbs and re-joined Weight Watchers in May this year. I have lost at least 49 lbs (don't know what my highest weight was).

I would like to make a comment to you ladies - please don't lose weight just to find a man. You should lose weight for your HEALTH and FOR YOUR SELF-ESTEEM. A man is not the answer to our problems. I have seen so many women hurt emotionally and physically by men, especially women I thought were in "perfect" relationships. I have seen abuse of women in my family. I have lived alone for a long time. I like my independence. I cannot let a man take that away from me.

I hope you all have a good week.

Hi Connie,

I'm happy to see someone else post. Welcome. I have two cats and live alone too. Although losing weight would give me more confidence, which would inevitably help me meet people, I would like to believe that I am trying to lose weight for myself and not a man. I know that I have problems losing weight because emotions run deep with me and I tend to eat when I am feelling 'bad'. So, until I get myself under control I will not conquer my weight issues. It is a vicious cycle that I am trying to break.

Your situation with your ex-husband sounds interesting. Do you feel that it is healthy for you? Are you happy with it?

It sounds like your health motivated you to want to lose weight. Is this a correct inference? Congratulations on your weight loss. 49 pounds is amazing in two months and maybe too much. Do you like WW? I was thinking about doing it but am not sure I have the discipline to check the numbers of everything. Are you exercising at all?

Ang

Hi Ang - I am an emotional eater also, but am working on getting this under control. I try to remember that the food does not make the problem go away. I also realize that we will always have up an down days - life is not perfect - and we have to learn better ways to deal with the bad times. This is not easy living alone I know, cause we don't have anyone to talk to about stuff. I find that sometimes it helps if I just get in the car and drive around awhile. Sometimes I find something while I'm riding that gets my mind off of things - like yesterday, I had an awful morning emotionally. So when my ex left in the afternoon I headed to another town that has a state park and I took a walk on a hiking trail there. Well I went a little to far on the walk and had to go up a steep hill to get back to my car (I need to point out that I have never walked this trail before). So when I got to the car I had forgotten about my bad day (mainly 'cause I was trying to get over the walk) and did a little shopping at Wal-Mart. My intent in going to this town was because they have a Dairy Queen and I was going to pig out on a peanut buster parfait. Of course I forgot about that too after the walk and today I had a 2 lbs loss for the past week.

I also need to clarify - I lost 49 lbs over the past year, I didn't lose it in two months; I have lost 25 lbs in the past two months on W. Watcher; I lost the other 25 lbs on my own by reducing carbs and sugars due to the diabetes.

My situation with my ex - well it doesn't bother me. I have friend and co-workers in worse situations. I think me and him have matured as we have gotten older. We married in our 20s, but we never should have married; I wanted to get married so bad and he didn't want to but he did it because I told him to either marry me or I was through with him. Not a good idea to give a guy an ultimatum. We get along better now and we are friends. I just don't want to marry again. I guess my upbringing has a lot to do with it - my mother, grandmother and aunts never encouraged us girls to get a husband -they would tell us we were better off being young and single. I guess cause they all married young and never got to do much; they didn't learn to drive, they never traveled, they just basically kept house and raised children.

I hope you have a good day. See ya.

Hi there - I'm 30, I'm female, I'm very very very single (sigh) and I have 3 rabbits (apartment sized dogs). I've got about 80 pounds to lose, though right now I'd be happy just losing 40. I'm pretty good about exercise, mediocre about eating and the weight just isn't coming off as fast as I want it to!! Yeah yeah, I know we have to be patient, but it's just so frustrating!! A lot of me thinks that since I'm single and live alone, I'm on my own schedule and make my own choices so this should be easy, but it's not and I still feel swamped like I don't have time to take the proper care I need to lose the weight. But, until I start taking the time, I don't think I'm going to be changing my single status. I need to re-prioritize my time, and I could really use some support while I do it (and some shaking fingers when I don't).

I'd also be very interested in direct emailing a buddy for sorta closer tabs on progress if you're interested.

Just as a side note: I went to a party this weekend where I was basically the only single there. My friends are wonderful and love me and paid me lots of attention, but I couldn't help but feel incredibly alone - especially as I was leaving. Actually cried myself to sleep about it. I don't know if I'm single because of my weight, but I know it's certainly not helping and I'm tired of this... this has GOT to change!

Connie - it really sounds like you have a handle on things. I realize that we have to live our lives the way that makes us happy and you seem to be doing that. Good for you. I think for me I realize that I am eating to feel better but have not come up with any other good ways of feeling better without food yet. I am working on this but in the mean time if I really want to eat I do because I can't handle being stressed and upset all of the time. At least after I eat I have a different reason to be upset. Your idea of driving is a good one. Distraction is sometimes the best cure for the "munchies". I ate tonight and it was late - not really a good time to go out driving since I have work tomorrow, another time though.

Congratulations on the weight loss however you did it. May I ask why you decided to do WW when it seems you were doing well all by yourself? I'm still debating about trying WW.

sillymonkey - I can relate to a lot of what you are saying and would love to chat privately if you want. I'm pretty new to this site, but if you send me a private message then I should be able to send you my e-mail address without it being public or we can chat using the PM, whatever is easiest for you. I apologize for my ignorance about PM on this site, I just haven't ever used it before.

I need to prioritize my time. I find that being alone is the worst thing for me. When/If I have to worry about someone else I tend to put more effort into cooking or getting out to exercise. Unfortunately I haven't had too much success finding exercise or eating buddies. I recently moved and am still trying to make friends. It gets kind of lonely. Also, I moved into a town full of families. As a single person this means that I know exactly how you feel about being single at a party or function. I am turning 34 in 36 minutes and really want a family of my own, but at this point I am not holding my breath.

I hope you continue posting here for support and I hope to hear from you privately.

Hi, I just found this thread (again). I had posted earlier, and then fell off the weight loss bandwagon for a few weeks (months). Well Monday I stepped on the scale and I'm at or near my all time high. I'm so frustrated with this extra weight, heavy thighs in the summer is not pleasant. Anyway, yes, I'm still single. At this point in my life (37), I don't expect to change that status. I don't have the first clue how to actually look for someone. I've tried internet dating, but right now, I'm not happy with the way I look and feel about myself. I don't need my self esteem brought down even more by meeting someone who can't look past the weight. So ... for now I'm happy with my cat and dog, they're great company.

Since Monday I've started doing weight watchers, with a combination of South Beach. So far so good, although I'm having a hard time controlling the night time eating. I used up all my flex points in two days. Who knew nuts where so high in points? Anyway, I plan to be good for the rest of the week and cross my fingers for a good weigh in.

Wed 7/21

Hi Ang, Janet and Silly Monkey. Hope you all are having a great hump day.

I also have problems prioritizing my time. I know it sounds strange to marrieds that singles have problems with time, but we have a life too! One thing that takes up my time is television. It's an excuse to lie down and do nothing. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed because there isn't enough time to do what I need to do. I have tried writing my self a to-do list for the day which worked good, then I quit doing that. I've also tried designating a day for vacuuming, a day for laundry, a day for paying bills, etc. Then I think how depressing it is that all I seem to do is housework and go to work every day. I live in a small town where there is nothing entertaining to do, but I work in a town that has plenty to do if I would just get off my duff. I used to be outgoing when I was younger, but now I just stay home when I'm not at work.

I know what Silly Monkey means about parties; I feel left out when I'm with marrieds. Not just at parties - also at church and work. I can't call my married friends and say "hey let's go shopping today", they have things to do with their family or things to do at home.

I want to wish "Shyangel" a belated happy birthday!!! Hope you had a good one.