I used to work in a shop too, I know what it's like. You 'meet' hundreds of people every day, some of them are *******s who treat you like dirt too, some of them are very nice, there were a few regulars but many of them aren't memorable. Anyway what I'm trying to say is that meeting so many people every day can be a bit over whelming and you crave some real interaction, a connection with another human being, just something that takes away from the monotony of the job at hand. Working a cashier job can make you feel like a tool and nothing else, a little bit of chit chat can really make a difference. So maybe she really is just trying to be friendly and make a connection with you. I really don't think what she's saying is personal at all, merely an attempt at conversation. A little awkward perhaps but I think that because we're all so focused on food and weight loss that we can be overly sensitive to anybody commenting on our food choices.
If you're really uncomfortable with what she's saying then speak to her about it, not a manager. She's a person.
**Actions speak louder than words. A 5 second comment. It would be different is she made the comment and was being a little too forceful with your items when checking you out, rolling her eyes or twisting up her mouth after she said it. I doubt that she is really concerned or even offended by your purchse. You have to spend money for her to have a job. It would be hard to believe that she would have an issue with you buying food.
Not everyone that works with the public has the same social skills. I have had cashiers make comments about my purchases. I think they are trying to make a connnection with me. I mean what else are we going to talk about. It takes 5- 10 minutes to check me out there is no way we are going to talk about politics or religion
At the grocery store, I have cashiers comment on my purchases all the time. Alot of them have no smile and a dry expression but when we get through we are both smiling and/or laughing. It is rare for that not to be the case.
You can see that I am fat and at my drugstore they always have sales on candy which I would always buy. The cashier asked me where my M&Ms were (since I hadn't bought them and they were on sale that week). She didn't smile or make eye contact but I went into this big explanation of how I gave up M&Ms for red grapes...She gave me some other suggestions and even gave me a "Good for you" (which I could tell was sincere)
With that being said, I hope you find a way (whether you approach the clerk, manager or not) to be at ease with the whole situation and have a pleasant shopping experience.
Last edited by RoyalAthena; 09-14-2012 at 08:10 PM.
There is this one checker who would always make jokes about the bags of angelhair shredded cabbage I would buy. I'd buy 4-5 at a time because it lasts a lot longer than lettuce and hubby eats it too. She started saying stuff like "got your hay for the week, I see. Oh, yummy, straw"...stupid stuff like that. Her tone sounded like she was making fun of me or something. Anyway, one day I was in a bad mood and said, ya, you got a problem with it? She's not talked to me since. Lol.
I'm just now joining in on this and I haven't read all the replies, but as a Sales Associate at a department store, I can tell you this: at least where I'm concerned, the comments we make are not meant to offend you. If I make a comment, it's just that -- a comment. Something to show that I'm not just a generic cashier that's only there to take your money in exchange for clothes to get a paycheck; I'm your Sales Associate, and I'm here to do business with you in a quick, warm and friendly manner.
I have a customer that ALWAYS buys a bunch of clothes and then brings most of them right back within a week or two, so her transactions are usually really complicated. When I first started interacting with her when I was still new to the job, I would get flustered during her transactions and in turn, she would get flustered and end up making me feel like I was giving her bad service, even if it was unintentional.
Eventually, though, as time's gone by and I've gotten used to my job, things with this customer have gotten a lot better. Once we started engaging with each other and making that customer-cashier connection, doing business with her has gotten a LOT better, easier, and really, she's become a joy to serve.
Even though it's wrong, it's possible that she gets snotty towards you because with your one-worded "Yup", she sees you as being snotty and rude, as well. Maybe instead of turning your nose up to her, you could engage with her and actually have a conversation about your items. It'll give you a much better customer service experience, and it'll help her do a better job and make her WANT to serve you in the best way possible.
Customer Service works both ways, in my opinion. We associates can't make you happy if you don't allow us to. Just something to think about!
Even though it's wrong, it's possible that she gets snotty towards you because with your one-worded "Yup", she sees you as being snotty and rude, as well. Maybe instead of turning your nose up to her, you could engage with her and actually have a conversation about your items. It'll give you a much better customer service experience, and it'll help her do a better job and make her WANT to serve you in the best way possible.
Customer Service works both ways, in my opinion. We associates can't make you happy if you don't allow us to. Just something to think about!
This is a very good point. I've turned enemies into friends, simply by being nice in the face of what I perceived as coldness or rudeness. In fact, rarely have I failed to get a positive response, which reinforces to me that most people aren't being intentionally rude or negative. There are all sorts of possible reasons, but intentional negativity just isn't one of them if you're able to make the "mean person" smile.
I do think self-consciousness plays a huge role. If you're not completely confident in your choices, it's easy to be thrown when someone appears to question them (and even easier to assume negative judgement).
However, when you ARE confident in your choices, even the harshest of criticism just seems well silly. I've had people comment on my food choices in very negative ways, and my usual response is to laugh, and that alone generally breaks the tension.
Because I love finding exotic produce, I often have to explain to the clerks what it is I'm buying (and how to spell and sometimes what it's related to, it so they can look it up in their little produce books).
Once a clerk was horrified at my ugli fruit and didn't even want to touch it (ugli is pronounced "ugly" which perfectly describes the fruit,which looks like a green, gnarled grapefruit-gone-bad).
I laughed (trying not to sound mean about it) and told her that it hadn't gone bad, it was supposed to look that way, and was even why it was called an "ugly fruit." I went on to tell her that it was one of my absolute favorite fruits and that a better name for it would have been "the lemonade fruit," because that's what it tasted like.
The clerk's horror turned to fascination and she said she never would have guessed, and that she might try one herself.
I forgot completely about the incident and the clerk until I ended up in her line again several months later. She smiled when she saw me and before I was even up to pay, she called out "I tried that ugly fruit you told me about, and you're right it does tastes like lemonade!"
That got the whole line asking me what kind of fruit we were talking about, and the clerk and I retold the story (I found it incredibly funny to hear HER talk about how disgusted she was by the fruit's outward appearance, Geez it's not THAT ugly - she should see some of the other odd and unsightly food I've eaten).
There are a lot of people who are very squeamish about unusual food. I had a friend in college who couldn't even look at someone while they were eating a food that was strange to her. It was really almost embarassing how green around the gills she got if one of us ordered something even remotely unusual when we went out to restaurants. And she considered a lot of very run-of-the-mill foods unusual. If it wasn't fast food, pizza or mac and cheese, you'd just about think it came from another planet (I'm exagerating, but not by much).
There is this one checker who would always make jokes about the bags of angelhair shredded cabbage I would buy. I'd buy 4-5 at a time because it lasts a lot longer than lettuce and hubby eats it too. She started saying stuff like "got your hay for the week, I see. Oh, yummy, straw"...stupid stuff like that. Her tone sounded like she was making fun of me or something. Anyway, one day I was in a bad mood and said, ya, you got a problem with it? She's not talked to me since. Lol.
I am really loving this thread... It has really taken on a life of its own... and I apologize for going OT... Everyone's stories are really making me laugh just thinking about all the ridiculous comments cashiers make sometimes...
KatMarie I loved this one... I would have told that checker something like this "Hey, Here's an oldie but a goodie.... "Minds are like parachutes... They only function when open... You should try it sometime..." but then I would have added quickly "BUT on second thought if I were you, I WOULDN'T PULL THE RIP CORD!!!" then give her a quick wink and smile and be out of there....
One last comment here... but I certainly disagree with the "being rude back" approach that some are suggesting here. It would be hard enough to be a cashier and try to make "friendly chat" type conversation with dozens of people a day. Quite often clerks make conversation with me about something I am purchasing, and actually sometimes I initiate it about some really good item. Often they look at it and say they might give it a try. But if I was a clerk and tried to chat with someone and got just a "yup" back, I too would find it a bit difficult to know just how to respond and keep things friendly. But it is my experience that others in line also chat with the check-out clerks; how could the cashiers possibly please everyone?
Also, when I am eating healthfully I am always quite pleased at what is in my cart, and feel good when I look at the other carts and can place my items up there without any embarrassment. When shopping, I like to pretend my (very supportive) doctor will be standing there when I go around the corner and when putting items into my cart, picture whether I would be HAPPY to see her or want to hide.
At the Thai restaurant I go to for take-out, they know exactly what I am going to order. One time they encouraged me to try something different; I thought it was nice of them. I did try another item; it was good, but I am back to my "old standard favorite." When I went back they asked me how I liked it. They are not being rude; they are being friendly and caring to their customer.
I very seriously doubt whether the clerk the OP was referring to is intentionally being rude. I just don't "get" being rude back to her or, worse yet, complaining to a manager. And I have done just that when a store clerk really has been nasty; but IMO this situation does not merit getting someone in trouble on their job. I would not like for someone to do that to ME (even though I don't work in a service type industry job).
Am I the only person thinking, "WTF is she buying three times a week that requires three separate visits???"
Seriously, I need to know now.
Sometimes I go into the store 3 times a day -.- but I work right next to the store and I don't shop for x many weeks at a time. That would be my reasoning but only because I work right next Door
I work in a very public place and work with the public daily. I've also worked as a cashier and in a call center in the past. So I feel that I can comment on this even though I have not read the entire thread.
Some people will find offense where none was meant. Some people are unaware how their comments may come off. Like kapods, I've found that treating others with kindness regardless how they treat me usually makes for a positive interaction overall. I probably would have responded to the checker with something like, "Yeah, I cannot get enough of "insert food here"!" I guess that's good for you too 'cause I'll be back for more later this week (said with a smile and laugh).
There I always buy the foods I enjoy that matches up with the calorie range I want to stay in.
I don't understand why she is so bothered by what I eat.
These two statements of yours intrigue me. They imply that you are purchasing food that our society has labeled unhealthy or junk. Is your anger at her related to any guilt or embarrassment you feel for wanting the food you are buying? Are you reading more into her comments because attention is being drawn to something you want to change or hide?
ArcticMama gave you really good advice. You have the power to turn the situation into a pleasant one and not allow it to escalate into more negativity.
I've learned something about the power you give other people's actions. It's certainly different the more you know a person, but something a stranger does is generally something I can either let brighten my day, ruin my day, or have no effect on my day.
If someone smiles and waves, and maybe strikes up a nice conversation, I can let that positive and pleasant experience brighten my whole day. If someone is rude I could either fume about it or let it go. Maybe the rude stranger was having a bad day, or is simply a grouchy person. Everyone, no matter how they appear to you, could be dealing with many things.
I'm a little New Agey, but I believe we create a mood or an energy for ourselves simply by how we let others people's moods and energies get to us. If we take a bad experience and let it sit in our minds and our hearts all day, growing into a big evil monster out to get us then we are creating that little stress bubble for ourselves, when in fact we could take that bad experience and let it just float away.
I'm probably making it sound silly, but that's how I view it. If something is bothering me I take a breath, pretend that bad experience is being put in a bubble, and I exhale and let it float off, never to be given a second thought.
Remember that even if she really is being rude it's her problem. I often get a rude person in a store or at a restaurant. It's a situation that just sometimes happens. I simply let the rudeness float away in it's bubble and get on with my day.
This reminds me of a Seinfeld episode. Elaine always called in to a Chinese restaurant for take-out and when she gave her address the girl on the phone laughed and said something like "I know you want the #2 with brown rice for one" and continually laughed. Elaine got tired of it and one time hung up on the girl and went directly to the restaurant. She was about to start yelling at the girl, but the girl answered the phone to take an order and she laughed and said "Oh yes, #3 with fried rice". Elaine realized it was just her nature and let up.
Maybe she's trying to make conversation, maybe she's shy and trying to break out of her shell. Does she do it with other customers?
It's too petty to bring up with the manager and could get her into trouble. If it bothers you that much, the next time she brings it up, ask her nicely not to comment on your purchase, change the subject, or just ignore it.
Too funny! There was a sex and the city episode like this too. With Miranda.
I go to the same store about once a week, and I almost always run into the same ladies there when I go. They're friendly and when I check out with them they ask me if something's good or mention being interested in something I'm getting. Someone noticing your stuff isn't weird, they're scanning all the items! Would you rather them do it blind? Next time I'd just say "Yup, getting the same old thing again. It's really good, you should try it." I'd bet you 10 dollars it starts a friendly conversation.
Only you know how the cashier spoke the words that are bothering you so much. But, even if it may be snarky, it doesn't even mean it's intentional.
This reminds me of when I first moved off to college. There was a convenience store down the street I was always in. There was this girl there I thought was a raging b*tch! I ended up getting a job there and when I was set to start, I had to train with her and was DREADING IT!
What happened? We became best friends and still are 10 years later. It turned out she had some personal things going on and was just having a hard time with life in general. She didn't even remember ever saying much of anything to me.
Like others have said, I'd recommend letting it go or trying to create a more positive conversation. Redirection always works. If she talks about your food, which is going to be a natural point of conversation at a grocery store, mention the weather, sports, her hair do (positive of course), nail polish, etc.
Last edited by XLMuffnTop; 09-17-2012 at 12:31 PM.
