I have had cashiers comment on things I buy. They ask me if I have had the item before, or what something tastes like. I just chalk it up to friendly conversation and chat it up.
One time however a lady in front of me in line looked at what I had placed on the belt. She looked at my items and got a really surprised look on her face and said, "Wow! You have all that healthy food and you're still extremely overweight." I could have let it bother me, but I just thought to myself, I would be extremely overweight than extremely rude!
This has nothing to do with food but does have something to do with cashier's comments. I made a purchase in a dress shop and paid with a check, the cashier asked for ID and I showed her my driver's license, she studied it carefully, especially Date Of Birth and said "You have held up really well." I was too surprised to make any kind of reply.
WOW Bargoo!! I have a hard time with those veiled comments. The clerk probably thought she was being nice, but it certainly did not come off that way.
Many years back, when I was young and single I had lost 90 pounds, but had not had my drivers licence changed. I went out with some friends one night and got carded. The bouncer did not believe it was my ID. Fortunately for me the bartendeder was a classmate of mine and said verified it was my ID. The bouncer was trying to be smooth smiles and winks and says, "If I were you I would get that changed. No one would ever have to know you once looked like that." The first sentence was fine...the second one...not only voided the comment, but turned it into an insult!
I've on two separate occasions experienced people scream at me from cars when I've been out running. You might guess (correctly) they didn't scream nice things.
The point is that we can lose the weight, while those type of people can't lose the stupidity. You have to learn to just ignore the idiots that walk amongst us.
I've on two separate occasions experienced people scream at me from cars when I've been out running. You might guess (correctly) they didn't scream nice things.
The point is that we can lose the weight, while those type of people can't lose the stupidity. You have to learn to just ignore the idiots that walk amongst us.
My neighbourhood only has one grocery store and we tend so shop a couple times per week, so the cashiers have come to recognize me. We always engage in idle chit chat and it almost always is either about the food I am purchasing "what do you make with quinoa?/are you a vegetarian?/do these taste good/are you making tacos tonight?" (and occasionally the weather). One time a cashier even asked me how my run went the day before (apparently she had seen me running on her way to work).
If you truly do believe that she is being negative about you food choices and is trying to hurt you then by all means speak to her about it. I would not speak with her manager though because it would be a shame if she lost her job over a misunderstanding.
I can see how the OP would be annoyed because I've had something similar happen to me. I was at a place that made wraps and I decided that I only wanted a little meat on my wrap and lots of vegetables. The "usual" is a lot of chicken/turkey with bacon. When I told the girl what I wanted, she looked up at me rudely and said "that's it?" in a snobby tone complete with a sneer. I was taken aback because I had been there before and she had never said a word to me until then.
If something similar happened to me several times a week, I would be annoyed as well. Some people just like making rude and snooty comments to their customers for no reason. It doesn't happen often (thank goodness), but it does happen.
I read the original post again, and I guess the first time I read it I missed the part where you said she acts like she's joking, but you can tell she's really bothered by your food.
How can you tell? Are you really sure she's not actually joking? I'm asking because I'm genuinely curious...I'm not trying to be rude, so I hope you don't take it that way.
I can see how the OP would be annoyed because I've had something similar happen to me. I was at a place that made wraps and I decided that I only wanted a little meat on my wrap and lots of vegetables. The "usual" is a lot of chicken/turkey with bacon. When I told the girl what I wanted, she looked up at me rudely and said "that's it?" in a snobby tone complete with a sneer. I was taken aback because I had been there before and she had never said a word to me until then.
If something similar happened to me several times a week, I would be annoyed as well. Some people just like making rude and snooty comments to their customers for no reason. It doesn't happen often (thank goodness), but it does happen.
But again, even if they're rude, you can choose your response. A simple "yep! That will do it for me today!" rebuffs them well while making YOU look like the bigger person. Even if they're jerks, you can still choose to be cheerful, pleasant, and be a bright spot in their day evenif they were a dark one in yours.
You never know a stranger's life story or why they say, think or do whatever it is they say, think or do.
I have many close friends and relatives who often or even ALWAYS sound crabby and judgemental. Some are constantly crabby and judgemental, but most have chronic pain or other issues that put them in a frequent or constant bad mood.
When my mother worked retail, she would always get poor feedback on her employee reviews for her lack of customer relations skills. My mom has virtually no schmoozing skills, and she did have severe arthritis and did find it difficult to be pleasant after she'd been on her feet for more than three hours. She worked six to eight hour shifts.
My mom was hurt and embarassed that when she worked as a cashier at Osco, she had to wear a laminated card around her neck that said Smile! and "be pleasant!" on it. It was written on the back, so customers couldn't see, but Mom still felt it was humiliating.
My hubby has severe chronic pain (so he doesn't smile very often), he looks quite intimidating because he's 6'2", 340 lbs, with long graying hair and beard, and wears dark sunglasses (his eyes are very sensitive and normal light is painful). So he looks like a pi**ed off biker. He also doesn't have a very good "filter" as he doesn't really understand tact. He makes jokes that aren't funny, he makes comments that aren't welcome...
If you knew him, you'd know that he is the friendliest person in the world. He would give the shirt off his back - and almost literally has. He's loaned friends money when we were broke ourselves. When he learns that someone was offended or hurt by something he said, he is shocked and horrified. Even if it's something a three year old would understand "sounded mean," he really doesn't get it. He says what he thinks and doesn't understand why anyone would be hurt, annoyed, or aggravated by anything he had to say.
He often says "I didn't mean it in a negative way, but even if I had, why would they care what I think?" I'm not that important."
Because of my experience with my mother, my husband, and with chronically unhappy people, I don't ever let a stranger ruin even a minute of my day.
When people try to be rude to me, I really do feel sad for them - sad that they're having such an unpleasant day (or life) that they have to take it out on a stranger. I do not have to let their pain become mine.
Rarely do I ever find a staff person so unpleasant that I have to talk to a manager (though I have when I felt it needed to be addressed, but the few times were very extreme. The only one I can recall at the moment was when I overheard a couple of mall clerks ridiculing a handicapped customer).
The point is, no one is perfect. Sometimes there are good (or at least unavoidable) reasons for unpleasant behavior. Even good people say and do rude things when they're stressed, or sometimes just accidentally.
How you react to it, is entirely up to you. You can choose to be upset about it. You can choose to complain about it in any way and in any place you wish to, but regardless your response is entirely within your control, and says more about you than it does the person you're reacting to.
The clerk could be the nastiest person in the world, and it doesn't have to cause you a minute's annoyance. You can choose to be amused by it, annoyed by it, or entirely unaffected by it.
some people are also just socially awkward. i dated a guy who was really nice, but around people he didnt know he completely froze. instead of coming off as nervous people always thought he was being condescending or "too cool" to talk to them. that wasn't the case at all. sometimes people are hard to interpret.
But again, even if they're rude, you can choose your response. A simple "yep! That will do it for me today!" rebuffs them well while making YOU look like the bigger person. Even if they're jerks, you can still choose to be cheerful, pleasant, and be a bright spot in their day evenif they were a dark one in yours.
I'm cheerful like that, though
True. I think what made it a bigger deal than it should've been to me and the OP was that we were already self-conscious about our decisions. For me, I was the oddball who didn't get what everyone else did: lots of meat and bacon in their wrap. Having the girl point it out rudely and in front of others made me feel even more out of place. This was on a college campus, so it always seemed to me that everyone else didn't have to watch what they eat. (I know, completely untrue!)
For the OP, she is very comfortable getting certain foods for her diet because she knows what's in them, she likes them, etc. (I do this too.) Having someone point it out like it's a weird thing, and having it done often, made her uncomfortable about the situation.
I know I know... I shouldn't worry that much about what other people think - it's my body, and I know what I'm doing is what's right for me. I was just explaining why the OP probably was offended by something that doesn't seem like a big deal.
Last edited by MelodyLeigh; 09-14-2012 at 06:47 PM.
I'm sure she sees so many different shopping styles that unless all you buy is 15 bags of Doritos, she doesn't care that much.
She could just be an observant person. I have a few places that I go and they always remember what I get. I forgot to get my popcorn one time and the cashier actually reminded me, lol. I think it's nice honestly.
