In highschool, I used to be a cashier. I can totally see myself making those comments, all of which would have no hidden meaning at all. To me, they were just quick chit chat to make time go by faster.
Instead of complaining to the manager (which could really hurt the girls job and get her in trouble), why not make friendly conversation back? Not one word answers, not rude replies or asking her why she cares so much. If she says "I knew you'd buy that" (even if in a snarky tone) I would just say "I know, its because its sooo good. Have you ever had it?" or "It's just so tasty, I can't help myself!". Then give a friendly laugh and be on your way. Honestly, if you make a full conversation out of it, she is way more likely to comment on it again.
I agree with another poster about responding to her, saying "why do you always comment on what i buy?" or to get more specific..once she says something that rubs you the wrong way, ask "what is that supposed to mean?"
doesn't have to be asked with an attitude, as to further escalate the sitation, just neutral. or maybe even with a smile.
either way, like lockitup said, make it clear to her that you do not like her comments. please don't go out of your way to get your groceries, thats just absurd. this whole situation can probably be resolved real easy, it just takes that one moment when you decide to say something.
LOL SacredKestrel it was funny and rude, I don't know how to explain it. I mean I think "jaw dropped" was it? I don't even think I had my other children with me, IIRC it was just DH and I going through the 10 items or less lane so it wasn't like there were tons of kids with me. I really think (she was young) either she had kids or didn't want them, or something more to do with her...and yeah it was negative (but no worries it was positive later on that year).
I agree with another poster about responding to her, saying "why do you always comment on what i buy?" or to get more specific..once she says something that rubs you the wrong way, ask "what is that supposed to mean?"
doesn't have to be asked with an attitude, as to further escalate the sitation, just neutral. or maybe even with a smile.
I realize this whole thread has been 'perception is everything' themed, but I feel like comments like the ones suggested don't have a neutral connotation. I really can't imagine a way those can be said that wouldn't come off as confrontational and (imo) being just as passive aggressive as the OP thinks the cashier is.
I still feel like this issue is a misunderstanding, on both parts.. no one can read minds, after all!
I have to agree with pinksparkles. I have been trying for a minute or two to say "What is that supposed to mean?" without it being a form of attack. I don't think I succeeded.
I also order and buy the exact same things too. I get similar comments at coffeeshops and restaurants that I frequent regularly. Not at a grocery stores, just because I go to big box stores for my groceries and I would not expect any of the cashiers to remember me. To me, when the barrista or the waitress says something like "I knew you'd order that!" I just think he or she was joking around. I'd joke back with a self-deprecating "Yeah, I'm pretty predictable" or something like that.
Last edited by memememe76; 09-14-2012 at 11:50 AM.
The comments alone sound innocent, but the tone is important, and of course only the OP knows the tone the cashier used to say these things.
If it's bothering you a lot, then like others have suggested, I think you should talk to the woman about it first, rather than going to her manager. My guess is that she probably has no ill intentions and likely has no idea she's being offensive to you. If she keeps doing it after you confront her, then it might be a different story.
The comments alone sound innocent, but the tone is important, and of course only the OP knows the tone the cashier used to say these things.
100% agreed. That said - try to make "I knew you were going to get that" sound mean.
I can't figure it out. The only way I can make it sound mean is to go WAAAY over the top with a head movement, strong emphasis on "knew" and piecing eye stare down.
I admit though - creativity is not my strong suit.
It seems like you're more annoyed than anything else at this girl. Maybe she was just trying to be friendly but it came off the wrong way... next time she says something like that, try to say something more than a brief 'yup'. Say "YEAH these things are DELICIOUS, have you tried them?" Maybe you'll even get a conversation going. idk, going to the manager for something like this seems petty.
I agree here.... tell her your losing x # of lbs & this is your way of keeping it all together. You never know who you might help along the way. I think she's just trying to be friendly & break up a rather boring day/ job. After all they are told to be friendly & she could be shy & think you are a friendly face that brightens her day. It's not something I would go to the mgr about unless she called me a fat slob or something
This reminds me of a Seinfeld episode. Elaine always called in to a Chinese restaurant for take-out and when she gave her address the girl on the phone laughed and said something like "I know you want the #2 with brown rice for one" and continually laughed. Elaine got tired of it and one time hung up on the girl and went directly to the restaurant. She was about to start yelling at the girl, but the girl answered the phone to take an order and she laughed and said "Oh yes, #3 with fried rice". Elaine realized it was just her nature and let up.
Maybe she's trying to make conversation, maybe she's shy and trying to break out of her shell. Does she do it with other customers?
It's too petty to bring up with the manager and could get her into trouble. If it bothers you that much, the next time she brings it up, ask her nicely not to comment on your purchase, change the subject, or just ignore it.
who cares? as a fat girl ive certainly heard my share of comments. i read posts here everyday about women being asked if they're pregnant, or husbands/coworkers/friends saying horrible things. i for one used to take walks around my neighborhood and kids at the end of the street would say "stomp STOMP stomp" every step i took. if this is the only comment you're getting (even if she is saying it snotty) just blow it off. it could certainly be worse.
This reminds me of a Seinfeld episode. Elaine always called in to a Chinese restaurant for take-out and when she gave her address the girl on the phone laughed and said something like "I know you want the #2 with brown rice for one" and continually laughed. Elaine got tired of it and one time hung up on the girl and went directly to the restaurant. She was about to start yelling at the girl, but the girl answered the phone to take an order and she laughed and said "Oh yes, #3 with fried rice". Elaine realized it was just her nature and let up.
Maybe she's trying to make conversation, maybe she's shy and trying to break out of her shell. Does she do it with other customers?
It's too petty to bring up with the manager and could get her into trouble. If it bothers you that much, the next time she brings it up, ask her nicely not to comment on your purchase, change the subject, or just ignore it.
This reminds me of a Seinfeld episode. Elaine always called in to a Chinese restaurant for take-out and when she gave her address the girl on the phone laughed and said something like "I know you want the #2 with brown rice for one" and continually laughed. Elaine got tired of it and one time hung up on the girl and went directly to the restaurant. She was about to start yelling at the girl, but the girl answered the phone to take an order and she laughed and said "Oh yes, #3 with fried rice". Elaine realized it was just her nature and let up.
hahahahaha. seinfeld is my favorite show of all time (seriously, i have like every episode memorized) and this made me laugh. great analogy
Oh my
