You got it! But with the economic crisis there, you've lost your life savings when your new Greek-owned bank goes kerplunk.

I wish I had pretty fingernails.

Granted! But your all your keratin is redirected to your fingernails to keep them shiny and pretty so all your hair falls out and now you're bald with no eyebrows.

I wish I could hit my goal weight by next month.

You do, but then your metabolism became so low that you would have to live on 500 calories a day for the rest of your life to keep your weight from skyrocketing higher than before... Good luck on that one!!

I wish I could own my own house.

Granted, but it turns out to be the home that inspired the movie The Poltergeist and the spirits are angrier than ever.

I wish my dog was obedient.

Granted! Too bad he only obeys commands he hears on TV.

I wish I could own my own sucessful company.

Poof! Granted! But it's a 1-900 phone sex company and you're the sole owner/operator.

I wanna win the next Powerball lottery!

You win! Unfortunately your accountant runs off with the entire thing right afterward!

I wish my hair was longer.

Granted, but it's the hair in your ears.

I wish I actually enjoyed exercise.

Granted! But the only exercise you enjoy is channel surfing.

I wish my back would stop hurting :(

Granted!

But now you are so flexible your only option for employment is to join the circus.

I wish... all my wishes could come true.

granted, but because you can now make wishes come true, you must become a genie to make others wishes come true. Welcome to your new magic lamp...is it a bit cramped in there?

I wish my cholesterol was lower

Granted! But now you are on a severe low fat diet limiting your fat to 5 grams per day.

I wish i could get thin eating chocolate cake

you can eat all the chocolate cake you want for the rest of your life without gaining so much as an ounce, but you're allergic to chocolate.


i wish i had a wallet that gave me unlimited money whenever i need it.

Granted, but your wallet charges you a 25% interest fee every time you take an amount out.

I wish I could win the lottery and quit my job.

Granted, but you lose all of your money in a year due to a bad investment and your company won't hire you back.


i wish i had a magic box, about the size of a cigar box, and anything i put inside of it will duplicate overnight.

Granted, but your monthly debt payments will be more than your income.

I wish my skin wasn't covered in stretch marks

granted, but you have psoriasis all over your body instead. And it itches.

I wish winter was over. Man, I'm sick of the snow.

Granted, but summer temps are a humid 90+ and your air conditioner is broken!

I wish I could healthily lose weight on a hershey's chocolate diet. :lol:

okay, but suddenly chocolate gets very scarce and is about $100 for a candy bar.

i wish i could drink nothing but coffee all day without getting dehydrated.

Granted, but now your body will reject anything not made with coffee.

I wish I lived alone

Granted, but it is on a desert island and there is no one else there.

I wish my house was clean.

granted, but it has expensive-to-fix foundation issues now.

i wish i felt motivated to work out

HA! That IS my house! (dirty AND expensive foundation problems) Welcome to my wonderful world.

Granted, but you have to wear workout clothes everywhere you go.

I wish my cousin wasn't dying of cancer. (I don't think he has long to live)

granted, but now you have cancer instead. (i'm sorry to hear that. my mother died just 2 years ago at age 38 from bone cancer... but she started out with breast cancer at only 24. needless to say, i am very paranoid and spend lots of time giving myself self-exams in the shower!)


i wish chocolate had 0 calories but still tasted like real chocolate

{aww Alyssa ((hugs)) for you. Wow, your mom was so young! I bet you miss her every day. I've had my fair share of cancer scares anyway. Got a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy 2 years ago, then a colon cancer diagnosis. Never had to do any chemo or rads..bonus}

Ok..on to the game...Granted, but chocolate is now more expensive than gold.

I wish I had a personal chef to cook for my family.

(zogo: actually i never met her, but i've missed her my entire life </3 i really wanted to meet her one day but fate stole that from me... i'm planning a memorial tattoo for her, which will include a breast cancer awareness ribbon. i also wear breast cancer awareness clothes all the time. but it is quite sad that she died so young, it scares me to think that that could possibly be my future... one reason why i'm trying to quit smoking)

granted, but the chef either undercooks or burns EVERYTHING.

i wish i hated smoking and could quit cigarettes in a heartbeat

(@Aly, Keep up with the screening. It saved my life TWICE.)

Granted, but now you are hooked on cigars:barf:

I wish my laundry was done

(zogo: yeah i know, my grandmother had a lump in her breast, but thankfully it was benign... but that scare also made me a diligent screener.)

granted, but the washer and dryer chewed up your clothes so they all have holes in the bra and crotch areas!

i wish i was the most talented anime artist the world has ever seen.

Granted and you become famous. But, you have to live in Japan for the rest of your life and never get to come back to America. (How's your Japanese?)

I wish I had a new car

(lol @ hows your japanese xD)

granted, but you get severely ill as soon as you retire, and have to use every penny you own on treatments.


i wish i could get a part-time job within biking distance of my house.

Granted, but the ride there is a hill so steep you have to get off and walk!

I wish my entire wardrobe would shrink with me as I lose weight.

granted, but they shrink faster than you do so they're always 2 sizes too small.

i wish coffee creamer had no calories

Granted, but taking out the calories makes it spoil. So, it all tastes like sour milk. eww
(I eat low carb and have heavy whipping cream in my coffee every morning. I don't count calories, (just carbs) and HWC has hardly any carbs)

I wish I could find a job I loved and would pay me generously

Granted, but you have to do 7 days a week because that's why they call it "work".

I wish I had a toilet made of gold.

Granted, but you are miserably constipated and spend all your days sitting on it.

I wish I had a luxury yacht.

Granted! But it doesn't work during the summer, spring, or fall, and it doesn't float on water, only sand XD

I wish I was a main actress on Game of Thrones :D

Granted! :D But you have to film the entire thing with a yellow sticky note stuck on your forehead. :D

I wiiish... that I wasn't afraid of spiders! xD

Granted but now your afraid of clowns

I wish i had a car with Ac.