Granted, but you fail all the rest of the tests and the final exam..."F"
(I'm sure you'll do great on Tuesday though):D

I wish I had more energy today.

granted but its energy wattage for your lightbulbs

i wish i had a pefect size 10 figure

Granted, but all the weight went to your feet. Now you can't move.

I wish I had a a new transmission for my car.

Granted, but it is sitting in your driveway and you are going to have to install it yourself.

I wish my sick son at college had some of my homemade chicken soup.

but he is not really sick he is skippimg classes today

My neighbor mowed my lawn without asking

granted, but he also mowed your garden and chopped down your trees.

I wish I had a new dishwasher.

Granted, but you bought the new dishwasher because the old one leaked all over the kitchen and ruined the floor, which now has to be replaced.

I wish I didn't have to give this speech today.

Granted, but now you cannot speak ever again.

I wish my family could all get along.

Granted, but you must all live together in a 2 room house without air conditioning in the middle of the mohave desert and hold hands while singing Cumbayah together 2 hours every night.

I wish I had a personal chef.

Granted, but he cooks liver and onions for every single meal.

I wish my brother's dog would hurry up and be potty-trained!

Granted, but the dog gets loose and runs away and you never see it again.

I wish I could go on vacation

Granted, but it rains the whole time.

I wish I will pass my exam on Thursday.

Granted. You don't just pass you get a 100.
But because the rest of the class flunked, no one will talk
to you anymore (and the teacher things you cheated)

I wish my husband would stop snoring!

Granted... but now he has uncontrollable flatulence all night long!

I wish my husband would clean the bathroom.

Granted but he only cleaned it 'cause all his buddies were coming over and they completely trashed your house.

I wish I could eat my weight in Chinese food without ever gaining a pound

Granted. You didn't gain a pound! You gained 20!!

I wish that we make $500 in our garage sale next weekend!

Granted, but they bought the whole garage for $500 and took it away. Now you have to park outside.

I wish I had new carpeting.

Granted, but your new carpeting is on Change4Life's driveway and has a car parked on it.

I wish my Christmas shopping was done.

Granted, but the mpg on your car would decrease as well.

I wish that it was November 21st already!

Granted!:D It's November 21st today!

I wish I had a spare bedroom for my Holiday guests.

Granted but they brought three large dogs with them and stayed 4 months

I wish I had a new car..

Granted, but its alternator dies two miles away from the dealership.

I wish that I'll do well on my finals next week.

Granted. But there was someone who passed a copy of the test around prior to the Finals. Teacher found out. Now you have 15 page Term Paper due in 2 days instead.

I wish my house was completely decorated for Christmas.

Very creative corruption there! 0o That would SUCK.

Granted, but a single Christmas light burns out, causing the whole chain to go and you can't figure out which one it is.

I wish Thursdays moved faster.

GRANTED!
Thursday is over and done with! But just as quickly as it went away, it took Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with it, bringing you a slowly-creeping MONDAY!
(I :love: Monday's) :lol:

I wish the holidays had come at any other time than the present. I am SO stinking close to ridding myself of this dang plateau!

Granted now they come every Thursday

I wish I had more income

I wish I had more income

POOF! Granted...
But now your car breaks down and you need a new one.
So much for the "more income"!

I wish it would snow just once this winter (or Spring!)

Granted! But it was the biggest snowstorm of the season and now you can't leave your house for weeks until the thaw...

I wish I had a sailboat.

Granted. But it's so big the police won't allow you to transport it on the roads and so has to stay on your driveway.

I wish I wasn't so pale and freckly!

Granted. But the spray on tan is permanent and you are tinted orange.



I wish got the job I want as a College Professor.

Granted but it's for a prison college program and you have to live "on campus" during the weekdays.

I wish I owned a house on the beach in Malibu...

Granted...

Here is your new house on the beach at Malibou...

http://i1165.photobucket.com/albums/...each_house.jpg

Well, you never said what size!!

I wish my taxes were done, and there was a HUGE refund check on the way!

Granted... the check is HUGE...actually 3 feet by 8 feet , but it is only for $1.00

I wish my paperwork was organized and filed.

Granted, paperwork has been shredded neatly and placed in file 13.

I wish I had a Porsche.

Granted, a banged up Porsche is being delivered from your local junkyard.

I wish I could live my life over beginning at 16.

Granted but it's 16 in dog years so you are now 112.

I wish I had become a marine biologist.

Granted, but you get laid off and get evicted. (uggh, sorry, it's on my mind).

I wish that mini-pie I wanted hadn't been 350 calories.

Granted, it is 3,500 calories.

I wish that I never had to work again.

Granted, you got fired and permanently blackballed from all future employment by your last employer.

I wish my teenage kids could figure out how to replace the toilet paper.

Granted, but they did with the pink perfumed kind that grandma used to use and everyone knows that stuff sticks to everything!

I wish I had a personal trainer.