Granted but you get food poisoning...every morning!

I wish I could have a designer purse

Granted, but the purse is so small that you can't fit a single thing in it and end up having to carry your old purse just the same.

I wish for more British comedies in the world.

Granted, but everything else turns into a Japanese game show.

I wish I could buy a new pair of running shoes.

Granted but when you put them on you can never stop running.

I wish I knew what to have for lunch.

Granted, but now you have to have that same thing for lunch forever.

I wish I had more energy today!

Granted, but you won't have enough energy to get out of bed for a week.

I wish everything goes well when I see my Doctor today.

Granted... but insurance doesn't cover your 1 million dollar bill as a result!

I wish my body looked like Jennifer Lopez's

Granted...but then you have to marry Mark Anthony.

I wish it was time to go home!

Granted...but when you get to your car all your tires are gone.

I wish I could fly.

Granted... you've now turned into a bat.

I wish I could get off my bum and start cleaning this room.

Granted...but now you have OCD and it's never clean enough!


I wish I could walk in heels

Granted, but you wear them backwards and look rediculous

I wish my computer would stop asking me to reboot every 15 min

Granted, but now it just crashes every five minutes instead.

I wish the crazy people would stop coming in here today.

Granted...but I will return tomorrow!!

I wish my wife would make me breakfast....

ha ha

Granted, but it's liver, onions and tuna paté.

I wish I had a new car.

Granted, Its a brand new matchbox car.

I wish The rest of the week was as cool as it is today!

Granted, but next week will be 10 times hotter.

I wish my headache would go away.

Granted, but now your foot aches instead!

I wish I could find a nice house at a reasonable price!

Granted but it is nextdoor to an airport.

I wish I was more organized.

Granted but you have been banished to a 4' X 4' room to organize all your belongings...

I wish hot dogs weren't so bad for me...

Granted but now they taste like cardboard.

I wish I had made better eating choices today.

Granted, but now the choices you made the day before yesterday became much worse.

I wish I could see the stars from my room.

Granted- but that hole in your roof isn't going to be any fun when it rains.

I wish my hands and feet weren't constantly the temperature of the surface of the sun. (thank you pregnancy)

Granted-but they're ice cold and you can't move them.

I wish I could find a job that I loved and paid more than I make now.

Granted but it's far away from family.

I wish gas prices would come down

"I wish gas prices would come down"
granted but now you have to pay an admission fee to get into a gas station

I wish pizza had no carbs :(

Granted, but all the carbs are replaced with fats. D:

I wish I could find textbooks without having to pay an arm and a leg for them.

Granted: but on the first day of class you find out you have the wrong edition, making them near useless.

I wish that my husband wasn't so grumpy this weekend!

Granted, but now he's super sleepy and you can't get him to get out of bed.

I wish that I could get back onto a normal sleeping schedule.

Granted, but your best friend suddenly have insomnia calls you every night for a 4 hours long chat.

I wish I had a 4.0 GPA.

Granted, but you moved to Australia and they grade out of 7

I wish I would stop breaking out (I'm too old for this many zits)!

Granted, but it requires $400 per month in skin care products to achieve.

I wish baking didn't heat my apartment up so horribly in the summer.

Granted! Now when you try to bake your oven is broken and won't heat anything.

I wish I could get motivated to do all the things I've always wanted to do.

But... but... Aw, crud.

Well fine, your wish is granted, but there are now enormous, 5-year waiting lists for all the things you've wanted to do. Even if it's as simple as visiting a new city. Nope, sorry, the city is not accepting new visitors until 2017. AND all of your activities require 30 page application forms. So there. :p


I wish the landlord next door would finally remove the darn broken branch that's been hanging in my window for four months!

Granted the branch gets taken down and placed on your bed....

I wish I could wake up with my hair instantly styled to my liking.

Granted- it's styled beautifully when you hop out of bed but when you get to work it looks awful.

I wish I could get a good night's sleep.

Granted...but you fall asleep early, forgetting to pick up your usual daily lottery ticket......and your numbers hit.

I wish the laundry fairy would show up and take some of this never-ending chore off my hands.

Granted, but more roads are given tolls. D:

I wish I could lose some weight this week! :D

(I don't want to corrupt this one because I wish for the same thing)

Granted..you have lost weight because all your hair fell off...

I wish my husband wouldn't frustrate me so much!!

Granted! But now your husband finds you frustrating all the time and cant stand to be around you day in and day out.

I wish my husband would have more sex with me! mwahahaa!