I am feeling better about the situation with my sister-in-law and brother. Thanks all for your kind words. Marie, congratulations on lowering your sleep medication. That is a major drop in mg's 30-5.

Everyone have a great Saturday.

Thanks Bonnie, this is the 1st time i have had will power to give something up, as soon as the doc told me I was an addict I freaked out, iv been called a lot of things in my time but addict is not for me, my brother is a junkie and I just thought I am NOT getting branded the same as him so started the weaning.
Glad your feeling better about things today

Vermont, relax honey in a few hours you will have a new bike and we all need a little chocolate from time to time

Well today I am off shopping to get some new clothes from my new job, Im going from a construction site manager to an executive role so I gotta swap the jeans for suit's.
DH is getting on my nerves this morning, his voice is so loud its given me a headache thank god he has gone out so i can get ready in peace. I know he is going to be in a bad mood when he see's all the shopping i am about to do, but I will have the argument with him later nothing is going to stop my shopping high

Have a great day every one xx

Hey all I did it today! I beat misery.
I woke up feeling that familiar "Ok this will be one of the crappy days" but I pushed myself to do 90 minutes of excersize and now I'm feeling that bliss from having worked out a bit too hard. I wish I had the energy to do that more often. Perhaps it is something I should work on.

@Marie You'll look super in a suit! If you're still blonde atm get something in dark gray. Black look odd when light hair falls onto it or dust. And certainly not white or people will be able to guess where you sat on last.

@Vermont No worries about the chocolate. Find the ballance you must, says master yoda.

I hope you are all doing fine! Have a nice weekend.

hey ladies the wedding was ok better than i thought it would be anyway lol I STS this week x

Well done Chubbykins some times just getting out of bed can be the hardest part of the day. but kicking it on a work out is really good, glad your having a more up day.
Thanks for the advice on the clothes, and I am still blonde, well its looking kinda white as I have just had it done, I am going to have to go back out as all i got today where shoes, i started to have a pain attack about my job and if I have done the right thing so I came home and tried not to think about it. I feel rough tonight i have a... erm trying to find a nice way of putting it... upset tummy, i think its just nerves I'v been feeling off all day.

Ems, sorry this may sound stupid but whats STS?
The wedding was ok I watched the highlights, didnt think much of the dress, if I was going to be a princess I would of had a huge tiara not the little thing she had lol

Im of to bed soon today has not be good for me a nice long sleep im hoping will help i have a **** of a lot to do tomorrow
Night chicks xx

Hi, yes Vermont I am out here. I am so sorry to hear about your mom.

It's been a weird couple of weeks. I turned 40 and was off for a few days. I felt good about it at the time (luckily) but I've been kinda down and lost ever since. This week I had a terrible sinus infection and missed a couple of days of work. I can't wait till it is gone completely.

I feel like I need to set some goals for myself to accomplish in my 40's. I need something to live for and strive for. Ok, this is short and sweet. Sorry I've been MIA.

hope4me, no apologies, just glad to know you are still around belated HB to you! 40 huh, you young thang you I'm sorry it made you feel down and lost, i can relate to looking at a certain age and wondering about hopes, dreams, etc. And oh sinus infections hurt don't they.

marie, sorry about your upset tummy! and very cool about being able to go shopping for work wardrobe!

I don't know what STS is either?

hooray to Chubbikins for beating misery!! that is fantastic. I hope you beat misery's butt every day from now on

hi bonnie, hope your Saturday was good and we continue to hold good wishes for your brother and wife.

okay - my new-to-me bike is safely home here! and I'm still within budget to pay for registration, tax, title, and inspection

wow vermont that is one hot looking bike! Love the pics

Hope - hey honey glad your still around. I know what you mean about the age im have my own freak out about turning 30.

Im feeling better this morning so I have LOADS of things to get on with today no rest this sunday for me

Have a lovely sunday every one else

Sorry i post so much on here, I find it helps

I am not sure if i am having one of my bipolar moments or my husband gets on my nerves that much.
Today I have spent the day clearing out the children's old clothes and mine, I don't touch his. I was doing this and I just got more and more angry. Why the **** should i be doing this when HE is the house husband, some of the kids clothes where aged 4-5 my youngest wears size 8-9 so that shows how long its been. I tried to talk to him about this and about the crap he keeps in boxes and his lack of "house husband" things he needs to do. He went mad and said i was like a 1950's husband... and so it all kicked off.
I am now in a right mess I want to take my sleeping pills and zone out but I can't I can't drink as that makes me even more aggressive, i just need to calm down but i cant.
I got a call from my pregnant sister today she has had an argument with her partner so she is coming to stay at mine for a few days to cool off and I am nervous about my new job that I start on Tuesday, Its just all getting to me at the moment, iv had such a good few weeks then this!
DH has been getting on my nerves for a while, not just with not having a job but we are so different, when we went out on Thursday night I only enjoyed it because I was drunk, if I was sober I wouldnt have as we have nothing at all in common.
Iv really had enough I feel trapped and I think he knows this to, he said to me today if I didnt like him that much just leave. I cant all my money is tied up in the house and he will never let me take the kids and neither will the UK legal system, as I have as a women worked rather then look after the kids... some one had to pay the bills right?
Its all so sad, I dont know if I should be laughing or crying, or kicking his head in at the moment I feel like i am going to burst.
My sister wont be here for another couple of hours and HD is in the bath at least he is out of my way
I really dont know what to do

Marie- Sorry its so rough....that makes it hard...is there any chance of things working? My thoughts are if your STUCK and you have to stay maybe you guys could try to make it work? Then when you look back years later you can say you tried....I had to finally have my husband write down 3 things that frustrated him and I would work on them. Cause I mean we live in the same house and anyone who lives together will get on each others nerves....Hope things go better

Vermont-WOW!!!!! AWESOME!! So happy for you!!

Chubby-90 minutes is AWESOME GREAT JOB!!!

HOPE-MISS YOU!!! I did that when I turned 30. I accomplished so much in my 20's so I wrote out goals I want to accomplish for my 30's. I don't want to look back and be like hmmm that was wasted!!!

Hi to everyone else I haven't been on to catch up...seems things have been crazy

SO After going to a funeral this week of my 28 yr old friend who lost her husband 5 days after their baby girl was born....My foster daughter called my 8 times during church (didn't take my phone in) Her 15 year old brother was given some pill and he snorted it and overdosed and died this morning. Their mother just wasn't really "involved" with their lives. 6 months ago when he was hit by a car she couldn't stay at the hospital she needed to go cause of her boyfriend. He was in critical condition. My foster daughter called me to go sit with her brother. When I saw him he just sat and talked to me about video games...just wanted attention. Well he fell into the wrong company...they were not nice to him...My foster daughter is a mess because growing up it was her, her dad, and her lil brother and her dad died when she was 12 and she just turned 18 yesterday. She just called me screaming he died he died hes dead he died....My heart is broken for her. She just wanted to die. I told her honey it wont make him come back....When she went home for a few months she took care of him (made him brush his teeth, wear clean clothes...etc) When her dad was sick that was what she did took care of her dad and little brother...just sad....

sigh....I cant handle many more funerals and deaths..Im a compassionate person so its constantly on my mind and my heart hurts for them and not just for a day but for a week I have been hurting for my friend. The night my dh closed I was like ahhh I hate when hes not here cause I have to do bedtime by myself and instantly she popped in my mind and i was like WHAT am I complaining for one night for HER HUSBAND IS GONE...sigh

On the health note..on Thursday i about had a break down at the gym. I really think my body was just to its breaking point. I couldn't get through my running had to keep stopping for a second which just made me mad. Then a friend on line he lost 14lbs in like 5 days and it took me 7 weeks to lose 12 lbs....so I was just MAD....I have worked blood, sweat, and tears for EVERY lb....So I was on the elliptical after fighting with the treadmill and the tears almost spilled over...but I was able to pull myself together. By friday night I crashed at 9pm before everyone and slept till 9 the next morning. I am the stay up till 3 am and get back up at 8am....so I am assuming my body was just done! Tuesday is the weighin for the gym so we will see how that goes I didnt workout fri, sat, or sun...errr... But have lost a total of 25lbs in 11 weeks Here is a picture. I was in a size 22 now size 18...theres not a BIG difference but my but is kinda shaping up (still a ghetto booty lol) and my stomach is kinda shrinking...my bra size around is too big I have to put it on the tightest latch!!!

marie, wow it sounds like there is alot going on! I hope things calm down.
Hang in there. Things will work out. Is there something you can do or somewhere you could go that is just for yourself that you enjoy to get some physical and mental relief. Go to a movie by yourself, a funny one would probably be preferable. Go for a walk in the park to clear your head. Just some ideas. Take care.

vermontmom, you new bike looks too cool! Thanks for asking about my brother and his wife.

Hanging in there. It has been raining here forever it seems. Looking forward to the sun sometime soon I hope.

I think yesterday was a bipolar moment I feel better today I have an under lying temper but nothing like yesterday, My sister came over and vented about my mum (i dont talk to her) the evil cow is trying to split up my sister who is 7 months preggers and her boyfriend, I really felt for my sister my mum did the same to me years ago and I found the best thing to do was to cut her out of my life, I think my sister is realizing she should do this to. I cant believe she put my sister under so much stress when she is pregnant.
My and HD are talking again but tonight we are going to have a "talk" about things I already know what he is going to say and I am not happy about it.

Bonnie - I would love to go out on my own but when I am having a moment its better to stay at home, I am a danger to myself when like that, but thanks for the suggestions

Mom - Thanks I dont know what to do I am just taking it hour by hour at the moment. Sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment too honey.
You can see a difference in your pics, your doing so well.