thanks for letting us know that you'll be away, marie, so we won't be worried when we don't hear from you for a bit Hope you have a smooth trip to your dads and enjoy Easter with him.

momof4, yay for you on the sweaty workout!

Hi to everyone else.

It's snowing here

Had another completely on program day yesterday. Don't want to jinx myself but I think that each day on program makes the next day a little easier. There is most always 'that' feeling in my tum, but I am trying to train myself that it is NOT hunger, it just isn't full.

hey everyone hope your all well? i lost 1.5lbs this week and got my stone and a half and my 10% since starting back in novmber woohooo

Hey all.

Vermont I am from Greece indeed It is already nice and warm here, but that is kind of normal for a mediteranean country. I'm glad you had a good day. Shows how strong you are.

Marie have fun on your trip.

Easter is a big fuss here in greece, so I won't post probably for a few days, I don't know. It is probably part of my depression but since I got "sick" I don't like holidays anymore. They depress me badly. I hate it how everyone remembers to be a good family member or friend during holidays and changes back to "normal" after. I hate it that we celebrate with unhealthy amounts of fattening food and if you say no they think you insult god or jesus or something... I'll eat my salad and let my friends look at me with that "you party pooper you" face. They can have the lamb brains for all I care, I hate that stuff.

Ehm sorry for the rant. Just had to vent some steam *sigh*

Chubbykins - I am 100% with you on the holidays. My birthday is the hardest one for me. Everyone expects you to be happy - hey, it's your birthday, what do you have to feel sad about? But you can't switch on happiness.

Good luck with easter. Don't worry about what people think of what you're eating. A lot of the time I find that the same people who mock me for having a salad are the ones whispering behind my back when I put on weight. So STAY STRONG.

Hi Joanne and Happy Easter to you too

we had a nice breakfast with our sons and now its just the dog and I in the house, yay I haven't had any Easter chocolate, yay to that also. Been pretty withdrawn, we had an invite from good friends to get together yesterday but I bailed..no good reason. I should have probably accepted, it would have been a 'fake it till you make it' but I just didn't care.

same for today, I could have gone to my (half) brother's house for Easter dinner, but I just don't enjoy being with my sister and it would have been a 1 1/2 hour each way drive there and back with her. I hope they're not mad at me for declining.

I'm puzzled why my husband has dropped some kinda mean things about me - someone was talking about a long motorcycle trip that they were inviting us on; first, my husband probably won't ride much again; second, he doesn't even really like the people who were inviting us; but he points to me and said "She has to work on weekends".

All I said was, 'its rude to point, and don't call me 'she' when I'm right in front of you". The other thing was him saying in front of our son, "you never took an interest in my work". And I took issue with that (calmly) and pointed out that I ALWAYS ask how his work is, each day, it is his fault if he couldn't bring up a specific matter at work that he wanted praise on, but I had no idea about it.

Minor things but still annoying. There is SO VERY MUCH I could gripe about him, to him but i manage to keep my mouth shut.

Well I didn't work out yesterday so I need to pick a video and do it. Hope everyone has a good day.

I would like to join in.

I really don't know how to introduce myself but I am glad I found this thread. I read it everyday but have been reluctant to post I don't know why? I have struggled with depression for quite awhile. My father's maternal family of origin has a history of depression. It's nice to have a place to share my weight issue and the related depression. I have a emotional/binge eating problem. I lost my father in 1996 to lung and brain cancer and I have felt lost ever since, in alot of ways. I miss him and the confidence he gave me which now I know was something I need to give myself. He was my biggest cheerleader in some ways my only cheerleader. I think there are alot of emotions that can cause one to give into unhealthy eating habits but the most difficult, for me, has been sorrow/sadness.

Thanks so much for listening!

Hello bonnie and welcome we're glad to have you. It does help to know others are suffering too, I know we help each other. Im sorry you're still mourning the loss of your dad Please join in whenever you need to; you have probably seen that we all can't always directly respond to each other's post personally, sometimes we just come here to vent or cry but I know we all really care.

Hi everyone and a belated happy easter to you all

I am back from my dads we had a lovely time and it was nice just to see my dad. the kids enjoyed the change of scenery too
I ate ALOT over the 3 days so i am going to have to bust some next week to get back down, i only have a week until i start my new job and i want to look my best when i do.
I'm not feeling to bad today I was angry earlier today as I got paid and my employer has screwed me over in my final pay packet, but I plan to go up there tomorrow and sort that one out. Its the same very month the money comes in one day and out the next its very depressing

My dad kindly reminded me that my 30th Birthday is fast approaching, im still not dealing with that one very well, they are planning a big party and im not to sure about that one. my dad is one cool dad and is taking me to see Bon Jovi in Hyde park in June (you know you are getting old when you would rather rock out with your 60yr old dad then your mates) I would rather that be my birthday treat. I have threatened Dad and Family any thing with 30 on it will sharply be removed from birthday celebrations but i think that has spured them on to make it even more dreadful from me, they think its funny i really dont iv even told my children i am only 28.

Bonnie - Hi and welcome

Vermont - Well done on staying away from the chocs i was not so good on that front.

Anyway I hope everyone is doing ok today

xxxx

Hey all.
I am back from the worst easter of my life. If was just one major depression day. Nobody did anything wrong of course, the sun was shining, the food was fatty as expected, my salad was fresh...
And it makes me double sad... I really am sick in the head. I know I am supposed to be HAPPY when nothing is wrong and all is great. But I just could not stop thinking about awful stuff.
The food reminded me of the people who die of heart attack on easter because of it, of the poor that will scavenge the trash for our leftovers, of the animals that died so that my overweight family can get fatter and closer to disease... My smiling family just reminded me of the many things that cause them NOT to smile when it isn't a holiday. The perfect weather reminded me of Japanese people now sitting homeless in tents and the streets. I am sick and pathetic. My own thought remind me of some ungrateful brat and then the guilt starts and all goes black.
I just ruin other people's celebrations, looking down while they want to be happy.

I'm sorry for my rant. I do hope you all had a great time!

Oh cubbykins you poor thing, its horrible to feel like that, are you on any meds?
the things you mention are out of your control darling, the japan thing was so awful but it was no ones fault this plant is angry at the moment.
There is so much wrong in this world I watch the news and just cry, i do as much as I can to help but can one woman do.
I really feel for you darling and its easy to say dont worry but i am a fine one to talk I worry about everything all the time, mainly my kids but I am working through it with meds and therapy.
I hope you fell better tomorrow honey, and darling you are losing the weight and doing good try and focus on the positive

Big hugs xxx

Hey everyone! Sorry for being MIA I've been doing pretty good! We're still waiting for our home visit from the rescue. It's spured us to clean the house LoL. I know they aren't looking at the mess but still... it had to be done. Saturday night, long weekend, hubby & step daughter were going to be gone ALL night to separate events... I had the house to myself until Sunday afternoon... what did I do? Did I rent a romantic movie and drink some wine? Maybe a bubble bath? No.... I scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom floors. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!??!?!??!?!? I have no idea. But they seriously needed it.. they haven't been properly cleaned in a long time... step d usually does it. Anyway, the house is better and like Mom I feel so much better when it's clean.

Mom - I totally get you... the clean, less cluttered area really lifts my mood. Even if I had to do it and not the hubby. I'm not going to do it all though, he has his "chores" that I set out for him. As well he's fixing my truck this week.. the thing is leaking oil like a BP offshore well (Sorry... to soon?), it's so embarresing, my spot at work is just black.. ick.

Vermont - Is it possible he's feeling kind of depressed himself and taking it out on you?

Chubby - I have the same problem with some of my friends only it's with drinks. If you aren't drinking and getting sloshed at one of their parties they go the whole "I'm very dissapointed in you...." route. You just have to hold your head up and say I DON"T CARE. BTW I've always wanted to visit Greece, it's one of my dreams.

Marie - To bad you didn't get to throw the drink in his face... but maybe it's for the better, who knows where that would have led. I agree the news is disheartening... there's so much going on, it's hard to watch.

Bonnie - Hi... glad you found us. It's hard to lose your biggest fan, we really work to support each other around here but (and I know how this sounds) you've really got to learn to be your own biggest fan. Easier said then done, absolutely. Hope you stick around.

Hope I haven't forgotten anyone... break time is over!

Trying to catch up on posts....positive I weighed in today to see how i was doing on the competition at the gym and I lost 12 lbs since the beginning of march (like officially on their scale) BUT also I am on my period and hold several lbs...lol SO it ends on the 3rd and hopefully I can at least lose 3 more by then!!! That will be 15 lbs in 2 months! SLOW and steady haha!! Going to retire my size 22 pants cause I really cant keep them off. Bought size 18 for Easter and they weren't tight. I have 20 jeans on and they fit nice... I just didnt want to OFFICIALLY put the 22's away in case the 20s got tight...you know just stupid but how my mind works..

Easter was nice with the family but got heartbreaking news. A dear friend of mine and her husband have been trying to have a baby for 7 years and miscarriage after miscarriage well finally they had a baby girl on Tuesday. On Easter Sunday morning they were getting up to go introduce her to the church and my dear friends husband had a heart attack and died. They tried to revive him twice but were not able to. I just cant get them off my mind. This is to be a happy time for them not a tragedy. Today was his birthday to. I have just been heart broken. How do you take care of a week old baby and plan your husbands funeral??? But it made me be more thankful for my family cause you never know when they will be taken. Then a local family had to pull the chord on their 11 year old daughter who suddenly got sick a month ago and bleeding in her lungs. They tried everything they could but finally last Tuesday the drs said there was nothing more they could do. So Wed they left her go and no more suffering. Easter was her viewing and Monday her funeral. So me being the compassionate person cant just say oh im so sorry for your loss and go on with my life like normal. It sits in my brain and just constant thinking of them and their pain....ok well enough from me

HAVE A WHOLE HOUSE TO CLEAN...its OUTTA control for real....Can't walk in any room without like spazzing...so I need to do a deep cleaning..most everything is de-cluttered but things now need scrubbed down!

if this is any indication of how on edge I am...I gave the kids lunch and thats when I get a few minutes to type on here without them bugging me...well my 8 year old is trying to show my some tiny cant even see scratch on his leg..I did the look and "mmmmhmmmm" and he has to go turn the light on then continue to bug me so i just slammed my hand on the desk and like yelled and pushed the chair which fell over....LIKE it irritates me when I only have a few minutes and they have to be up my butt....I know I know they dont understand that but I tell them to wait and try acknowledge what they are telling me but it just drives me freaking insane...Now that you all think I am totally a crazy person I am going to shut up and go clean!

im the opposite marie i bought banner ballons and other things ready for my 30th birthday party in july woohoo i can not wait x

Hi everyone

Aunty jam, good luck with the rescue people, I wish i could do the same but i live in a rented place and animals are of limits, so i will stick with feeding the foxes and hedgehog's and next doors cat when it wonders in. i actually buy cat food for the foxes when i do the weekly shop

Mom - 12lbs is fantastic i am jealous, iv been doing so badly this month esp with easter.
So sad about your friends husband and the little girl that passed on, i really don't know what to say its truly heartbreaking i'm the same i feel others pain and loss, just reading it made my heart hurt. lots of love to you darling xx

ems - my sister called me a few days ago to take the p1ss out of getting older, she is older then me but don't care we all young looking, i got asked for ID getting a bottle of wine in sainsbury's I did like that I have to face my age soon but not yet, but good on you embracing it i wish i was more like that, I think i am just a vain cow

Vermont, how you doing this week honey?

Chubbykins, are you ok today?

Today was ok for me i went back and got my money from where i worked, i went in all guns blazing only to find out it was a little admin mistake i felt a bit of a fool to be honest but the £400 cheque in my hand made me feel better about it
tonight we had my mother-in-law over for her birthday and HD spent the day in the kitchen cooking up a tapas meal for 7 people, i was impressed it was very good. MIL is coming over tomorrow to read HD the riot act on not working i am glad i have some one on side and with some luck he will get out there and work even part time in a supermarket would be good i just want him to do something.
a close friend of mine had a good chat today, we stoped talking a while ago (my fault and my choice) today i put it behind me a realized i was being a i spoilt brat about things, i am so glad to have that person back in my life.
I really think my new meds are helping a lot i feel so much better, maybe today is just a good day but i hoping its just me getting better.
I am still on the sleepers but i have lowered the dose and not feeling to bad with it, i don't want to be branded an addict so working on coming off them completely in the next few weeks, fingers crossed

Love to everyone xxx