I slept in. I got lots of sleep, so I decided since I woke up late, why not use that to my advantage and do the "fast 5". This is intermittent fasting, which I used to have great success with, then all of a sudden it stopped. I didn't try to find the reason. I just stopped doing it.
Recently, I saw that the hormone leptin has everything to do with it. Seems I became leptin resistant. For whatever reason. If it works again, I might have fixed that issue, by NOT dieting.
I have also been feeling much much better. I am doing alot of research for my BSN about thyroid issues. This is actually tied to my family.
I know we shouldn't think if my mom is sick, I will be so. I was raised by my mother feeding me health food left and right, at the same time, there was alot of junk food in the house due to my dad, my mom didn't know how to limit us so she just hoped feeding us health food in addition to junk would benefit somehow.
Many people in my family have suffered from an unknown illness that has caused tremendous weight gain, painful joints, colon issues, lower extremity weakness, muscle spasms, stroke, and unexplained weight loss. In addition, there has been some abnormal metabolism in the brain. My grandfather had some sort of alzheimer's (but he really wasn't all there to begin with). My grandmother suffered some pituitary anomaly, that will never be known because she DISAPPEARED. Part of her illness is that she would have "attacks" and go from being super brilliant to barely able to communicate. She left to go get cigarrettes one day and never came back. No one looked for her. I don't know why. People ask me this all the time. I think it was because she was A) Polish B) an immigrant, C) had the psychiatric issues. She disappeared in 1964. So it is not like there were protocols to follow back then either. I think the nation was still used to people just dying en route to different cities and such.
Anyways, I had 2 uncles on my mother's side. They were pretty out there if you spoke to them. They both died relatively young. They both had some unknown illness that caused them to be wheel chair bound. One uncle had always been extremely overweight. Conversations with him could be downright scary. I always felt sorry for him. All of a sudden he dropped a tremendous amount of weight. His heart went into arrythmias, he had a heartrate in the 40s and he had a stroke and died. The other uncle also died of a stroke.
My Aunt on my mother's side has always had alot of pain in her joints, she has weight gain, spasms in her colon and muscles, terrible constipation, irritability (always), and other unexplained things going on. Finally ONE rheumatoligist said it was some kind of autoimmune even though NOTHING showed up on any tests. Talk about frustrating. She is walking with a cane and she is in her 60s.
Then there is my mama. She is already walking with a cane and she is in her 50s. I feel so bad for her to be in pain. It is the most awful thing in the world to see her hobbling around. She TRIED to stay healthy. She went to areobics like 5x week, she ate health food, she tried to get us to eat health food, she always tried to take care of others, and to see her like this is so UNFAIR. I know if she lost some weight, her joints would feel better. I hate to hear her talk about how she feels her muscles have deteriorated. it scares me, not only because it's her, but what if it happens to me??? My Aunt's daughters started to have knee trouble in their 30s.
I have been doing alot of research. I know my doctor is probably sick of me, but he has to understand, there is something going on in my family, and I don't want to be a PART of it at all.
We have been trying to find a link for everything--the one's of us that know about medical stuff. We don't have alot of money, my mom has no insurance, my Aunt has been through every doctor in the books.
My testing showed I had mild hypothyroidism , and my test for hashimotos was positive. That is a start. I have been on thyroid meds, but have not felt 100% better. I know I'm getting older, but the biggest area I have noticed, is my ONCE very powerful legs are weaker. My mom also had powerful legs and she would frequently be seen in her 30s doing power squats with barbells. I'm talking 100-250 lbs.
I noticed stairs make them ache, and my hip feels a little more disjointed since having my baby. Plus, when I started having problems my feet absolutely hurt so badly. The burn and the ache and having to walk on them. The doctor was easy to say "plantar fasciitis". the thing was i didn't do anything to them to get like that. After i started the thyroid meds, this went away.
Anyways, down to my last little bit for this entry. I did fast 5 today, and instead of eating breakfast I decided to do a little research for my paper. I found that insulin resistance is a factor with thyroid hormone at the cellular level. You can have thryoid hormone and your tests be normal, but if your cells in your tissues can't uptake the hormone, then you will suffer from thyroid symptoms despite "normal" tests.
Maybe this is why I feel better while doing fast 5 or low carbing?
The scale wants to beat me down. I only ate 1321 cs yesterday and woke up 2 lbs higher. I did eat 167 carbs, but that is just about normal for me. I don't think my body liked dropping that low.
Stressed about the nurse recruiter calling. I hope it is good news. I have been waiting a month to hear from the hospital.
I probably threw my readers with all that research stuff, but it's part of my life and my daily struggle.
well, I am doing my low carb day today and tomorrow. So binging is not even on my mind. I just jogged 3 miles on my rebounder and added some resistance workout with tubing, I feel MIGHTY GOOD.!
So, I jogged 3 miles, and then 2 hours of weed pulling and mulch laying--I had dinner and I did binge on something. whipped cream.
This one was simple--I'm STARVING. I only ended the day with 1383 cs, and 51.5 carbs, but it took the 6 servings of whipped cream, that is 6 tbsp of whipped cream, the cream actually fluffed in my stomach and made me feel super full. Still, almond milk and whipped cream is way better than an ice cream binge. I'm actually full now!
Jen, it is just normal that you should feel tired. You work a lot, look after a baby, are stressed out and are on a diet! I do far less than you, and once in a while I feel sleepy, tired and even feel that all my body aches --though I do not exercise much! Those days I try to do everything, but more slowly. I prioritize and leave the least important tasks for the next day. I catch up with my sleep, eat slowly, walk slowly. Catch my breath.
Relax a little, understand that raising kids is really demanding, and have mercy of yourself: allow yourself to eat something out of your plan without so much guilt, and you will see you don't lose control. If you are constantly blaming yourself for any bite you did not intend to have, you will go crazy! Relax and enjoy everything your eat, your baby, your DS, your life!
Thanks krampus, yeah I know whipped cream is addictive. I try to work it into the plan because it is actually low carb?
ingles, thanks for the reminder! I need to slow down, I haven't felt like doing much of anything except eat low carb stuff. I am enjoying the Law & Order and other stuff I like on tv. I already did the chores. I just got to get some laundry done.
Well, as far as binging. I DO NOT want to eat another piece of meat/fish/egg. i THINK I will seriously ralph. So I have some pecans and a few slices of fruit for my next snack. I think that will break the monotony. I AM NOT doing atkins and I AM allowed 50 g carbs during the "ON" days.
One of the benefits of the "2 day diet" is that it is supposed to cleanse your palate. I think it is doing that. Instead of wanting cake, icecream or other junk. I want some fruit. I haven't actually "craved" fruit in a while.
well had bbq chicken and spinach for dinner. Didn't really have that nagging feeling for a sweet after but since my calories have been so low the last few days, I think I will have a cup of raspberry leaf tea and some dark cherries.
had a HORRIBLE morning with the teenager. I didn't sleep much last night because the baby was restless, and I had to drive the teenager who "magically" missed the bus to the school.
Got home, and the baby was still screaming and I took him so SO could sleep and went out into the living room, I gave him some food, and I ate 2 cups of cinnamon chex, and had a cup of tea with 6 coconut thins. I don't consider the cereal a binge, although it was more than 1 serving, I usually have 2 cups of a cereal.
finally the baby wanted to nap so we did. I feel better but have a little bit of a headache. The stress from arguing
well, I treated myself to a piece of carrot cake and a cup of tea. ONE was enough for me.
I also did my workout, and had a high fiber juice smoothie with greek yogurt. Hopefully that will keep me from wanting to munch later as I continue to experience afterburn and get hungry.
well, I did get snacky. I finished at 2500 today. I'm pretty sure that is maintenance, but I did work my butt off the past couple of days, so maybe I will still see a loss.
I don't think a high calorie day once in a while is a bad thing. I am glad I didn't say "aw screw it" and binge.
well, today I had the munchies after doing alot of work with the pool. Good thing I had cantaloupe cut up in the fridge. I snacked on it, and my head hurt so I ate some dark chocolate with shredded coconut. I think I will still make it through today with 1800 cs.
I had a chance to overeat because SO bought me an arby's sandwhich.
well, since I woke up at 3 am and had nothing better to do. . . I BINGED. right?
no. I woke up at 3 am, SO had injured himself, and he was drunk. Baby was sleeping and woke up. SO's friend is the husband of my friend who IS SUPPOSED to watch baby while I go to an important pre-interview meeting. This friend told me she would talk to her husband about watching the baby while their grandson was there too. She told me this at 5 pm. I was going to call her at 10 pm but fell asleep with the baby.
So I asked her husband, and he said "she NEVER spoke to him about it!" OH GOD really???
Drunk SO falls asleep and is SNORING. Baby wakes up again. I nurse him and get out of bed, and then come into kitchen---BIG MISTAKE.
I notice my throat is scratchy like it usually gets before I get an AWFUL sore throat, SO was complaining about his throat and NOT FEELING GOOD. OH THIS IS FRIGGING WONDERFUL! So I eat some frozen fruit thinking it would help...no. Still scratchy. I make some tea, not helping, feels worse. I am thinking about how AWFUL it would be to have to cancel my interview because
A) My friend is a FLAKE.
B) My so got my sick.
C) nobody to watch the baby.
C) is probably the worse. You realize how miserable it is to have NO-ONE to count on in your time of WORST need.
On top of that, teenager was a REAL PILL today and I took away his xbox. I was outside working on that damn pool that is so hard for one person to try to open, and I'm doing it alone, because ds1 usually helps me but now I need someone to watch the baby to do it, and SO is out doing guy things with friends.
on top of that, one of my classmates is dropping out of a group project at the LAST MINUTE, and does not have her part done.
so now I am facing being sick, not having someone to watch the baby, a disastrous week with teenager without his xbox. A project due this weekend, with only part of our team. One of the most lifechanging weeks EVER next week.
NOT TO MENTION. I have a lot of fear about going to work and leaving the baby, and I have a HUGE 20 page project to do that will be due when I first start a new job--that's how EVERYTHING is going to fall into place.
Out of sorts--you betchya. God give me strength.
I had frozen banana slices, frozen cherries, 1 glass of tea, 12 coconut thins
and 1/4 c whipped cream.
I thought while I was eating it, how I had tried so hard to lose weight, but it just won't happen so might as well give up, life is too hard, I'm too stressed, I'm going to get sick, and go right back to not doing so well with it, and I just gave up in my mind.
I did resist the urge to purge. So that is still a huge accomplishment. I need to lick my wounds, say a prayer and go back to bed.
Dear Jen, you are going through really stressful times! But let's look into it, from one single, working mom who raised three teenage boys and left a husband: who will enjoy the pool once it is ready? SO and son? So ask them to do that task --which is not urgent, by the way, so you may postpone-- or else there is no pool.
Concentrate on the urgent: baby and project. You cannot do anything for the interview before it happens, so the project and the baby are the most important things right now. Concentrate on that, and make SO grow up with a nice, firm talk (injured? drunk? doing guy stuff?). Over the weekend he should look after baby so you finish your project. Or else...! lol
Come on, pull yourself together, put down the fork and do one thing at a time. When all this is over, you need to talk to the person who abandoned the project and tell him/her you are never going to work with him/her again. What an irresponsible person!
Jen, plan the next three days carefully and follow your plan. DS could become a good team player if he understands you are not his enemy but just his mom. Give him some responsibility to see how he manages: he can very well cook or do the dishes, or work on the pool tasks is he wants his wbox back. And reward him for his achievements, so a reward system gets to replace the punishment system. Come on, you can do this! Take a deep breath and start! Just the baby and the project, no extra food and make you DS your ally!
